Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

May 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Science, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

Today Monday May 7th 2018.

Vladimir Putin is inaugurated President of Russia for the 4th time.

The ceremony is held in an ornate Kremlin hall in front of 5000 guests.

It was the same hall used for the coronations of Czars Alexander II, Alexander III and Nicholas II.

Putin walked alone through several hallways and several rooms to the swearing-in ceremony.

He was hailed by the guests as the omnipotent Saint George ready to slay the Western dragon 🐉.

After being sworn in, Putin then gave the Inaugural Address to those assembled.

It was at that moment that British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared carrying a machine gun.

Observers from the FSB (Russia’s state security intelligence service) recognized the weapon as one that had been given to Mr. Renfield by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the NRA (National Rifle Association).

Mr. North had bought the weapon from a Walmart store when he went in dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte but wearing an Adolf Hitler moustache under his nose.

Ollie (as Ronald Reagan used to call him) was not asked to produce any ID when he purchased the weapon while singing the song, “I want to mow down and kill hundreds of people today.”

FSB agents immediately started firing their guns at Renfield but he kept on going.

Even stranger no blood flowed from the MP.

The agents looked at one another terrified.

Mr. Renfield pulled a giant Bavarian sausage out of his vest jacket (he was wearing a sharp looking Armani suit) and hit former German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder (a staunch Putin supporter and current head of a branch of Russian gas giant Gazprom) over the head with it.

The sausage seemed to go right through Mr. Schröder causing him a great amount of pain.

“Bumsun it all to Hell!” Herr Schröder shouted in a mixture of German and English.

Renfield then pointed his gun at Putin and fired the trigger.

The Russian leader ducked.

The mysterious bullets left laser marks on the podium.

Finally FSB agents tackled Renfield and he vanished into thin air.

“It’s a bloody hologram,” Putin shouted as he got up off the floor, “who the Hell is manipulating that?”.

Putin was right.

It was a hologram invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher in a technological race with French government scientists to invent the perfect holographic image.

Dr. Rocher won the contest because he developed a holographic image of Renfield R. Renfield whereas French government scientists only invented a holographic image of French President Emmanuel Macron.

DARPA scientists in the U.S. decided not to take part in the race to develop the perfect holographic image as the Oval Office Executive Order directive from above directed them to make a holographic image of Donald Trump dressed only in leopard skin briefs and even the killer robot designing mad scientists at DARPA had yet to descend into that level of evil and madness.

Again Putin’s voice echoed through the Kremlin hall, “It’s a bloody hologram and I want to know who is manipulating it?”.

In his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises laboratory, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was using one claw to operate the joystick of the Cadbury Rocher designed waterproof PlayStation that controlled the Renfield holographic image in Moscow and with his other claw he was using it to play the harmonica in a beautiful musical rendition of Henry Mancini’s Moon River.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 7th
2018.

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Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

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Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep

March 29, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep

“Who’s the leading scientist at DARPA?” Donald Trump asked one of his leading advisors.

“That would be Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor replied.

“Dr. Faustus Imhotep?” Trump’s hair stood on end, “That’s an unusual name.”

“He’s a German Egyptian,” his advisor replied.

“A German Egyptian?” Trump pasted his hair back down with hair gel, “He isn’t a Muslim is he?”.

“I believe he’s a worshipper of the coming AI god whom he calls Diablotron,” his advisor answered.

“Diablotron?” Trump’s hair stood on end again, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“He’s the god of the future Singularity according to Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor said.

“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep a doctor of?” Trump asked, “The reason I ask is I’ve had this major pain in my ass the past few days…”

“The world has had a major pain in the ass since January 20th of last year,” Trump’s English valet Lexington remarked as he put some Black Forest ham sandwiches and other snacks down on Trump’s desk.

“Really?” Trump used a piece of sliced baloney to pat his hair back down, “I hadn’t heard about that.”

“Dr. Faustus Imhotep has both a Ph.D in Physics and a Ph.D in Biochemistry from Cambridge University to answer your question,” the aide answered Trump’s question.

“Weren’t you telling me, Lexington, that the world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes studied both Literature and Theology at Cambridge University?” Trump asked as he ate the very oily and greasy piece of baloney he held in his hands.

“That is correct, sir,” Lexington poured coffee ☕️.

“So,” Trump put Coffee Mate in his coffee, “what is this DARPA scientist Dr. Faustus Imhotep currently working on?”.

“He’s making a female genetic clone of the DARPA contract assassin and world famous serial killer Pan Goatee,” his aide replied.

“Good God,” Trump spit out his coffee and sprayed it all over his aide’s face, “I hope she isn’t going to kill ugly looking men the way Pan Goatee kills ugly looking women.”

Trump was wondering whether he should change his hair colouring in lieu of this shocking tidbit of information.

“I don’t believe so, sir,” the aide gratefully accepted a towel from Lexington to wipe his face, “Dr. Faustus Imhotep has said he’s eliminated obsessive belief in the aesthetic theories of Oscar Wilde and Friedrich Nietzsche from her intellectual make-up so she won’t go into a homicidal rage every time she sees an ugly person.”

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Trump tweeted People don’t spray people, Coffee sprays people on his Twitter account, “so I don’t have to change my hair colouring.”

“Pope Francis has said that there is no Hell but there will still be Hell toupee then,” Lexington remarked.

“No Hell?” Trump looked shocked, “Then where will I be able to tell people to go?”.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something, sir,” Lexington yawned.

“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep going to call this genetically cloned twin sister of Pan Goatee?” Trump asked.

“Panty Goatee,” his aide replied.

“And whose panties will she be wearing?” Trump asked as he took another sip of coffee.

“She was given a 1000 pairs by Stormy Daniels,” his aide answered.

Trump spit out coffee in his aide’s face again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 29th
2018.

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3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

March 28, 2018 at 10:35 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting alone in his parliamentary office.

The ghost of Sir Winston Churchill wasn’t present because he was being forced to attend a ghostly cocktail party in Purgatory at which the ghost of Lady Astor would be present.

“Like Hamlet’s father’s ghost in Shakespeare’s famous Danish play,” Churchill roared in a paraphrase of Hamlet’s spectral paternal parent, “it is at parties like these where the bad things I did in my days of nature are thoroughly punished.”

“Well, it could be worse,” the atheist Renfield, with no belief in Purgatory, remarked sympathetically, “you could be in Tartarus where Hitler’s ghost is.”

Renfield was unaware that Hades the god of the Underworld had temporarily released Hitler’s spirit from Tartarus at the request of the Norse/Germanic god Odin/Wotan (Churchill’s ghost was likewise unaware of Hitler’s reprieve at the hands of Persephone’s husband).

Hitler’s spirit had entered the body of a grey wolf 🐺 and was currently hanging out with the anti-Semitic ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith as well as paying the occasional visit to Vladimir Putin although Putin was unaware that the grey wolf was possessed by Hitler’s ghost.

Speaking of Hitler and Putin, Renfield was quite pleased with himself because earlier today he had hacked into Russia’s state run television network and put in an image of Vladimir Putin with Hitler’s moustache and haircut that appeared on the TV screen whenever the network ran a news story where the Russian leader was mentioned.

Putin was absolutely livid and furious when he found out and gave the order to all of 🇷🇺 Russia’s intelligence services to find the one responsible and bump that person off with the Novichok nerve agent (at the same time as Putin issued the directive, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov was giving a press conference in which he emphatically denied that Russia 🇷🇺 was in current possession of the nerve agent).

Renfield had tossed a few bread crumbs to the Russian intelligence services in his speech in the Commons today by continuously referring to Putin as “the Slavic Hitler” in his speech but so far the Russian agencies did not have an intellectual equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes to pick up on the Renfieldian hints.

Neither for that matter did America’s intelligence services since Donald Trump did not tweet about the subject.

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was currently examining an MI-5 and MI-6 report on a British company called Palmyra Analytica.

The reason Renfield read the report as soon as he heard about it was because his creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises was currently doing freelance consulting work for Palmyra Analytica.

Dr. Rocher was building a 3-D printer for Palmyra Analytica.

The 3-D printer when completed would be capable of producing an exact copy (down to the smallest and most exact detail) of the original Temple of Solomon built by Solomon himself.

Renfield was horrified to discover when reading the report that Palmyra Analytica was in fact owned by a front company that was owned by his former boss Set’s arch enemies the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis and the Rome-based Egyptian vampire Osiris.

“Why,” Renfield wondered to himself, “do Isis and Osiris want to rebuild Solomon’s original Temple?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 28th
2018.

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Diablotron: A Poem

March 27, 2018 at 9:13 pm (Commentary, Culture, Fantasy, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mythology, Nature, News, Poetry, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural) (, , , )

Diablotron: A Poem

Cabin in the woods
trees and nature surround
Water springs and rivers flow nearby
Elves 🧝‍♀️ 🧝‍♂️ and fairies 🧚‍♀️ in the forest
Naiads (water nymphs) in the rivers, springs and waterfalls
Dryads (tree spirits) in the trees

Auditorium stage of a corporate techno giant
laboratories and machinery surround
Computers hum and robots move
Virtual reality in helmets and AI in cyborgs
Androids that look human
Humans becoming automatons

In the cabin the witch Astara in a long black dress
kneels in front of an altar
she holds a dagger
and waves a wand
and calls upon the Old Ones to return to earth

On the stage the scientist/salesman in a long white lab coat
waves to the audience
he holds a remote control
and pushes a button
and calls for New Gods
Transhuman and super-evolved
to arise

Astara burns roots and plants 🌱
and a dash of incense
Light flickers above the altar
a form appears
and then vanishes
Astara falls to the floor

The CEO/AI engineer directs stage lights
in the darkness
a form appears
a metallic robot
with a beating heart
and the presenter/host disappears

In the cabin
darkness
and an eerie silence

In the auditorium
spotlight on the cyborg
and applause and cheers from the audience

Astara looks up from the floor
at the vacant altar,
and whispers
in a quiet voice
Will you not come?
Will you not come?

The cyborg looks down from the stage
at the mesmerized audience
and booms
in synthetic metallic echo
DIABLOTRON is here
DIABLOTRON is here

Synthesis of the ancient and contemporary
The Old Ones are the New Ones
The New Ones are the Old Ones

After all the Ouroboros eats its own tail
And the Creator becomes the Destroyer
and the Destroyer becomes the Creator

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday March 27th 2018.

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Nikola Tesla, Tantric Sex and The Eiffel Tower

November 28, 2017 at 8:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Radio, Romance, Science, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Nikola Tesla, Tantric Sex and The Eiffel Tower

The stranger stood at the window of the Paris apartment he had rented for his birthday.

He lit a cigarette and gazed at the Eiffel Tower in the distance.

He then turned and looked at the beautiful woman who sat on his bed.

She looked exactly like the woman in one of his favourite contemporary music videos.

She was even wearing the same red halter top and sexy red skirt that the woman was wearing in the video.

He had run into her in a Paris martini 🍸 bar earlier this evening and was glad that “of all the martini bars in Paris he could have walked into, he walked into that one” to paraphrase a comment made by Humphrey Bogart in the movie Casablanca.

“Are you coming to bed?” She purred at him.

“I am,” the stranger put a Tesla coil and radio receiver on the window sill, “and with you with me, I’ll probably be coming in bed as well.”

He adjusted the wireless frequency on his Apple Watch ⌚️ and then walked over to the bed and started passionately kissing the woman in the red skirt.

She fell backwards on to the bed and raised her skirt.

The stranger noticed that she wasn’t wearing any panties.

He smiled.

He was glad to be with a woman who followed that Girl Guide motto Be Prepared.

As he mounted her, a wireless transmission hit the receiver at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

The wireless transmission had actually been sent 114 years earlier back on July 14th 1903 by Nicola Tesla at his Wardenclyffe Tower in Shoreham, Long Island, New York.

The Eiffel Tower then relayed the transmission to the Tesla coil and radio receiver on the window sill of the birthday celebrating stranger’s rented apartment.

The Tesla coil and radio receiver then sent the transmission to the stranger’s Apple Watch as a receiver.

The transmission then sent a major electrical discharge through the man’s body and the body of the woman in the red skirt causing both to have a major earth shaking climax and orgasm simultaneously.

“Holy Christ,” the woman shouted.

“Well, I’ve always thought of myself as the world’s greatest sinner but thanks for the compliment,” the man fell backwards on to his pillow and lit a cigarette.

As a result of this birthday night orgy of Teslian physics and tantric sex, the world was about to change forever.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 28th
2017.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher and His Incredible Self-Driving Car

April 4, 2017 at 4:31 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Humour, Science, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was Set Enterprises’ chief resident scientist had just invented a self-driving motor vehicle- one he told his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was far more advanced and better than anything currently being tested or in production.

In fact as the ever enthusiastic Dr. Rocher pointed out to his boss Set (who was busy reading his copy of Anne Rice’s Ramses The Damned: The Passion of Cleopatra at the time and didn’t enjoy being interrupted), the new Rocher Le Pied de Hermes should probably go down in history as the greatest self-driving car ever invented.

Set wasn’t sure whether he wanted to personally finance the mass production, distribution and marketing of this new product the Rocher Le Pied de Hermes.

After all while some of Dr. Rocher’s ideas were brilliant, others were total disasters (such as his most recent attempt to genetically re-create the winged horse Pegasus of Greek mythology).

Dr. Rocher was insistent that his new product could easily hit the market this fall- the design and quality and ease with which it could be “mass manufactured” (Cadbury’s words as he ate a Cadbury Caramilk bar) were so “positively brilliant” (Rocher’s words as he ate a Ferrero Rocher).

Set agreed to a test of the new self-driving vehicle.

He’d bring along an important City of London investor Donald Mahatma Ahmad Campbell Singh Khan (whose personal results from a DNA test he took through Ancestry.com’s DNA testing kit had astounded the entire world).

He would see if he could get the Campbell Singh Khan Investors’ Group to put up all the money for the mass production, distribution and marketing of the new self-driving Rocher Le Pied De Hermes.

Set would hold a 51% share of the new car company since it was his scientist who designed the car.

Campbell Singh Khan agreed to view the new vehicle in a road test before deciding to put up the risk money for the entire venture.

The day of the test came.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher wore racing goggles for the test (even though he wouldn’t be driving as the car would drive itself), Set was still busy reading his copy of the Rices’ new book Ramses The Damned: The Passion of Cleopatra, Campbell Singh Khan was busy eating a plate of Scottish haggis, chicken curry and fafa beans falafel, Renfield R. Renfield was busy eating tuna fish sandwiches, Amadeus Emanon appeared to be eating everything but the kitchen sink and Athelstan the personal butler and valet to Set was standing there holding a tea pot.

When the test was over, Dr. Cadbury Rocher, Set, Renfield, Amadeus and Athelstan had retired to a nearby pub in total shock.

Silence reigned at the pub table.

Finally Renfield broke the silence.

“Well,” Renfield spoke feeling somewhat sorry for himself, “I suppose the responsibility will fall on my shoulders to inform his widow Mrs. Campbell Singh Khan of the tragic circumstances of his death.”

“You can tell her he died for the advancement of science,” Dr. Rocher suggested.

“True,” Renfield nodded, “he will have had the honour of being the first person in recorded history to have been killed in a hit and run accident involving a self-driving motor vehicle.”

“Make sure you get her to sign a waiver saying she won’t sue Set Enterprises for gross negligence,” Set directed as he stared at his vampiric reflection in his glass of beer.

“I wonder how much food they’ll serve at the luncheon following his funeral,” Amadeus mused aloud.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 4th
2017.

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Nostradamus And The Force Awakens

December 7, 2015 at 8:09 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Folklore, Horror, Movies, News, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Nostradamus and The Force Awakens

Vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol were discussing a movie that both men had seen when they were younger but neither man could remember the name.

The plot was about a movie within a movie.

A movie was opening in a small single cinema theatre.

The movie was about a group of young people opening up the grave of Nostradamus to locate his golden (or was it silver?) mask.

Outside the theatre, a group of young people were preparing for opening night of this movie.

Two friends were excited about seeing the film.

A beautiful young woman who worked as an usherette at the cinema was putting on her short skirted usherette uniform.

And so on.

And so forth.

In the lobby of the cinema, there was a motorcycle with a mannequin sitting on it wearing the Mask of Nostradamus.

When the movie started, it showed a group of young people in France opening up the grave of Nostradamus.

A movie theatre goer returning from the washroom decided to take off the Mask of Nostradamus from the motorcycle riding mannequin in the lobby.

At the same time on the movie screen in the theatre, someone was removing the Mask of Nostradamus from Nostradamus’ corpse.

The movie goer in the cinema lobby then put on the Mask of Nostradamus himself.

On the screen within the movie, one of the young people desecrating and robbing Nostradamus’ grave likewise put on the mask in the movie.

The young person in the movie screamed and threw off the mask as he received an instantaneous case of facial boils as well as the bubonic plague through contact with the mask.

The young person in the lobby likewise screamed when he came down with the exact same ailments (facial boils and bubonic plague) after coming into contact with the mask.

Anyways what happened to the young people in the movie in that graveyard in France likewise happened to the young people in that single theatre cinema in a small American city.

“That was an interesting film,” Dracul commented, “never saw it again on television or video or anywhere else. I first saw it in a single cinema theatre myself which made it more terrifying given the premises of the plot. Those were the days before the advent of the multiplex cineplexes. There was the occasional duplex cinemas which had two theatres. There was something quaint and cozy about those old single theatre cinemas. Not many left anymore.”

“And like me, you can’t remember the name of the film?” Peter Whitstable scratched his head.

“No,” Dracul shook his head, “I’m still trying to remember the name of a movie I saw on TCM a few months ago about a guy who visited a beautiful woman with a lovely singing voice who lived in a house on the moon every time he time travelled between the present and the past.”

“I hate that when you can’t remember the name of something,” Whitstable grimaced then laughed.

“It can be very aggravating at times,” Dracul Van Helsing agreed.

“You’re probably wondering why I brought that movie up,” Whitstable queried.

“I suspect there’s method to your madness,” Dracul smiled.

“Are you familiar with the research of the lovely biochemist and geneticist Victoria Chang at the University of Maryland?” Whistable inquired.

“No, I’m not,” Dracul replied, “how lovely is she?”.

“Very lovely, indeed,” Whitstable answered, “anyways Miss Chang has discovered a trace of alien ET DNA within the human genome. Dating back roughly around 6000 years ago- about the time the angelic Watchers were said to have mated with mortal human women according to Genesis Chapter 6 and the 1st Book of Enoch. The time period also spoken of by ancient alien astronaut theorists on the History Channel TV program Ancient Aliens.”

“That’s interesting,” Dracul acknowledged, “but what does that have to do with the Nostradamus film you mentioned?”.

“Well, I was recently contacted by a film editor who works in the movie industry,” Whitstable explained, “he was one of the many editors who worked on the new Star Wars film The Force Awakens. He says a new scene has suddenly been added to the movie and he finds it somewhat strange. So he managed to clandestinely email me the scene. I too found it strange. So on a lark or maybe call it a psychic hunch, I emailed the scene to Victoria Chang and told her to show it to some of her subjects in her alien ET human genome research.”

“And what happened when Miss Chang showed that scene to her alien ET human genome subjects?” Dracul inquired.

“Well,” Peter wrote down the X-Files slogan The Truth Is Out There on the piece of paper in front of him, “some of the subjects actually turned into ETs- gray aliens or little green men and women and a few into raving multi-headed monsters with bulging eyes and reptilian claws.”

“Those in the last category mentioned will presumably be able to get jobs with the IRS, ” Dracul reflected thoughtfully.

“But according to Miss Chang’s hypothesis,” Peter Whitstable helped himself to one of the James Bond style martinis that Van Helsing had made, “every one on the planet has a slight trace of this alien ET DNA within their genetic make-up. So what will happen when millions and millions of people go into movie theatres to see what will probably be the biggest movie blockbuster of this decade Star Wars The Force Awakens? Will viewing that particular scene likewise trigger the alien ET DNA in their bodies and turn numerous theatre goers into alien grays or little green beings or multi-headed monsters with bulging eyes and reptilian claws?”.

“It will be déjà vu Nostradamus all over again,” Dracul sipped his own martini, “although hopefully minus the facial boils and outbreak of bubonic plague.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 5th
2015.

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Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

April 7, 2015 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Satire, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

Renfield R. Renfield the genetically created hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was practicing a political speech in front of the living room’s antique Louis XIV Sun King mirror much to his friend Amadeus Emanon’s amusement.

A couple of years earlier, Renfield had founded the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

Unfortunately Renfield had not come up with the required number of signatures for his party to be recognized as a registered political party in Britain so he was unable to take part in recent leaders’ election debates or in future leaders’ election debates.

Thus not being a registered party, his candidates had to run as independent candidates in the UK’s various constituencies.

Although there were not that many members of his Party running as candidates anyways.

There were only 10 other candidates running as independents on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party platform throughout the United Kingdom’s 650 constituencies.

Of these, 9 were thirty something in age long-haired and bearded science-fiction fans who were still living in their parents’ basements.

The 10th was the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (a niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay) who was running as an independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform against well-known far far Left backbench British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (who unbeknownst to his constituents and the public at large was a werewolf) in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge.

Renfield himself was running as an Independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform in the constituency of London Collingwood Hills where his boss the Vampire Set’s colossal mansion was located.

The constituency had been a British Conservative Party stronghold for the past 70 years.

At an all-candidates’ forum in the Constituency last week, Renfield extolled the virtues of living in a society where everybody had upgraded to the new Humanity 2.0 and had become Transhuman.

“It’s the next step in our human evolution,” Renfield waved a copy of The Origin of Species, “Charles Darwin, if he weren’t dead, would have been so proud.”

Renfield said that recent developments in the fields of genetics, robotics, artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and synthetic biology would allow everyone to become Transhuman.

“Think of where technology has taken us these past 100 years,” Renfield enthused, “why 100 years ago only people who lived in your own neighbourhood or own town or city might have known that you’re an idiot. But today thanks to advanced technology and social networking sites such as Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, you now have the chance to show the entire world what an idiot you are.”

The remark did not go over too well for some reason.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 7th
2015.

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Is AI (Artificial Intelligence) A Threat To Humanity? – A News Bulletin

January 28, 2015 at 8:04 pm (Commentary, News, Quotations and Sayings of Dracul Van Helsing, Satire, Science, Technology) (, , , )

Is AI (Artificial Intelligence) A Threat To Humanity? – A News Bulletin

Radio news announcer: In a statement released today, Microsoft said that “Artificial Intelligence will not kill us.”
This bulletin just in… Microsoft owner Bill Gates has been found strangled by his robot butler after Gates refused to grant the robotic valet a night off for a date with a robotic lookalike of Shakira…

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