Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp While Marxist Quartet Visits DC

July 4, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee received an email from his local public library telling people not to put their library books in the microwave and turn it on in the mistaken belief that this will kill any Covid-19 virus lurking on the book covers and jacket.

“I can’t believe the stupidity of people these days,” Goatee remarked.

But there was plenty of stupidity going around as some fat ugly blimp was stupidly wandering around the neighbourhood where Pan Goatee lived.

Goatee quickly beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 666 quadrillion pieces.

There was a beautiful woman who had been walking alongside the fat ugly blimp.

“Just on the off chance ugliness is contagious like the Covid-19 virus,” Goatee spoke in solemn infectious diseases “expert” tones as he beheaded the beautiful woman.

Dr. Anthony Fauci had never addressed the question on whether or not ugliness was contagious (although there was some evidence for it when one looked at news footage of the overall appearance of women who attended Hillary 2016 rallies 4 years ago).

Dr. Fauci himself had caught a mysterious virus a few days ago that had turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

Although members of House and Senate Committees that Dr. Fauci had testified in front of the past week hadn’t noticed any difference.

As Joe Biden made his 4th of July message on his front lawn surrounded by garden gnome lawn ornaments whom, he told the assembled media, were wanting to smell his hairy legs, Biden said, “The most patriotic thing one can do this 4th of July is to wear a mask.”

Biden made the statement while NOT wearing a mask.

At the 4th of July fireworks display over Washington DC, the ghosts of Vladimir Lenin, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and North Korea’s first Communist leader Kim Il-sung were all watching.

The ghosts of the Marxist quartet had been temporarily released by Hades from roasting away on their respective barbeque spits down in Tartarus at the request of Pope Francis who was quite anxious that the foursome should see this year’s 4th of July fireworks over Washington DC.

Pope Francis’ request to Hades had been co-signed by American economist Jeffrey Sachs, Bill Gates of Microsoft and botched vaccines fame, George Soros, WHO head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres and Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

“Just think,” Stalin shed tears, “By next year’s 4th of July celebrations, this country will belong to us.”

“Or at least your ideological successors at any rate,” the 3 heads of Cerberus growled as the famed Underworld dog chased the 4 back to Tartarus.

And then in the glow of the Buck Moon (the nickname of the July full moon because this is the time of year when the male deer begin to grow their antlers), Cernunnos the Celtic horned stag god of beasts and wild places stood atop the Washington Monument obelisk in the moonlight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 4th
2020.

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Qonzilqointec and Set Vs. Horus and Soros

July 1, 2020 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec crossing a street in London

Seconds after crossing the street, a multiple vehicle pile up was reported on that same London street as over 40 vehicles had rear ended and fender bendered one another.

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson was 3 hours late for his massage appointment at Lulu’s Massage Parlour.

Qonzilqointec hailed a taxi on another street where she was driven to the London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set to discuss George Soros’ $33 million funding of the Black Lives Matter Organization.

The Black Lives Matter Organization (as opposed to the Black Lives Matter Movement which was a hashtag social media collective) had been founded back in 2013 by 3 lesbians who were all Communists and had as their own personal herione a black woman who had shot and killed a New Jersey state trooper back in the early 1970s and then escaped from prison in 1979 to flee to Cuba where she had been living the high life in Havana the capital of the Castros’ Communist regime ever since.

On their About page, the Black Lives Matter Organization listed as one of their goals “the abolition of fatherhood and the nuclear family” and all children were to be raised by the state.

Transvestite blacks would also be given a special place of privilege in the global Marxist New Order that the Black Lives Matter Organization foresaw.

If only the great 1960s and 1970s comedian Flip Wilson and his TV character alter ego Geraldine had lived to see this.

“You recently discovered some information about Soros?” Qonzilqointec asked Set.

“He’s apparently formed an alliance with my nephew Horus,” Set sipped his tea.

“Really,” Qonzilqointec was not surprised.

“I understand Aleister Crowley who’s busy roasting away on his barbeque spit down in Tartarus is quite happy at the news,” Set helped himself to some barbeque spare ribs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 1st
2020

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Pan Goatee Slays Heavy Drinking Uglo While Hades and Poseidon Hold Summit

June 28, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Pan Goatee was sickened by the sight of some repulsively ugly looking creature entering a liquor store.

“I guess if I was as ugly looking as you are, I’d be driven to drink as well,” the satyr commented as he lopped the uglo’s head off with his astral laser machete.

He then cut up the said uglo into 999 quintillion pieces with his machete as he addressed the approaching blind folded and covid mask wearing rats and approaching blind folded and covid mask wearing nanites who’d be eating the remains of the uglo and then vomiting them up on the banks of the River Styx for transport to Tartarus, “With the Covid refusing to die down like a good virus, the United Nations’ Communist Secretary-General Antonio Guterres saying he hopes a global Marxist government can be quickly established as the “new normal” in a post-pandemic world and Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionists establishing a neo-Jacobin French Revolutionary style Reign of Terror in the U.S., you’re not helping matters aesthetically polluting Gaia by wandering around with your ugly looking faces ruining the days of sensible people everywhere but of course not the days of stupid people (of which there seems to be an overabundance in the Western world). Dickens said of the years of the original Reign of Terror, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”. But thanks to the repulsive pathetically ugly ugliness of uglos such as yourself, we’ve only got the “worst of times’ in this second Reign of Terror.”

Meanwhile down in the Underworld, Hades the Greek god of the underworld was holding a summit meeting with Poseidon the Greek god of the Ocean.

“The Underworld seems to be inundated with a lot of uglos these days because of that troublesome satyr Pan Goatee,” Hades complained to Poseidon.

“I don’t think you can blame Pan Goatee,” Poseidon came to the defense of the satyr, “you have to blame the Western world for somehow having an overabundance of ugly females. Our brother Zeus says he no longer visits Canada and the U.S.A. anymore when he’s feeling raunchy. It just invokes nausea in him.”

“Turning to another matter, I granted the ghost of General Andrew Jackson a dispensational release from Purgatory so he can go fight the Neo-Bolshevik insurgents that are trying to take over the U.S.,” Hades lit himself a cigar.

“Jackson heard about that?” Poseidon ate a scallop.

“Yes, news reached him about the Neo-Bolshevik insurgents trying to tear his statue down in the vicinity of the White House a few days ago so now he wants to go fight them,” Hades explained.

“And why did you agree to his request?” Poseidon asked.

“Because he provides me with such good cigars,” Hades blew smoke rings, “although I think he gets them from the ghost of his wife who was apparently quite the cigar connoisseur in her mortal life.”

“What’s the latest with the Neo-Bolshevik insurrection in the U.S. anyways?” Poseidon ate a lobster who was a distant cousin of Set Enterprises’ famed psychic lobster Michelangelo.

“I hear Antifa has been advertising a peaceful family friendly 4th of July Flag Burning at the Gettysburg Cemetery this coming 4th of July,” Hades drank a gin and tonic.

“I imagine Abe Lincoln’s ghost and Union General Ulysses S. Grant will be requesting dispensations if that goes ahead,” Poseidon remarked.

“Undoubtedly,” Hades nodded.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 28th
2020.

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Saint John’s Eve

June 23, 2020 at 10:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The last few days had been a haze for Quentin Talbot.

He had booked a room in the Royal Alexandria Hotel in Alexandria.

He had gone downstairs to the lobby and found himself transported back in time to 1939.

There had been a ball going on in the hotel ballroom.

He had gone in and met a woman who claimed to be Thessalonike of Macedon the half-sister of Alexander the Great.

Somehow Quentin found himself aboard a ship in Alexandria’s harbour.

Thessalonike had jumped overboard and turned herself into a mermaid.

Quentin then recalled something that a London art gallery curator and art dealer named Dashwood Forrest had told him.

There was an old legend that Thessalonike of Macedon had turned into a mermaid shortly after Alexander’s death.

The ship soon found itself off the coast from the Suffolk town of Dunwich on the North Sea coast.

Dunwich had been the capital of the Kingdom of East Anglia at one time and a major international port.

Its decline began when three great storms struck the town- one in January 1286, one in February 1287 and a third in December 1287.

Most of the buildings that had been present in 13th Century Dunwich including 8 churches had disappeared with the storms.

Local legend has it that at certain tides, church bells can still be heard beneath the waves.

Tonight as the tides surged in a great storm, Quentin could hear the bells ringing beneath the waves.

Quentin soon found himself being taken off the ship by dwarf like creatures.

Unbeknownst to him, the dwarf like creatures were korrigans from the Breton region of France.

At the same time over in Rome, another group of korrigans from Britanny were exiting a wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels inside the Vatican.

Quentin soon found himself being taken down to the beach where Thessalonike (who had since shapeshifted back into human shape) was standing in front of an altar by a huge bonfire.

Thessalonike was dressed in the robes of a Druidic priestess and holding a huge sacrificial knife.

Quentin deduced that things weren’t looking too promising for him when the korrigans tied him to the altar.

A huge black dog with large red eyes, gigantic bared teeth and shaggy black fur came and sat by the bonfire.

The dog was that infamous Hellhound of English folklore known as the Black Shuck who was said to haunt the coastline and countryside of East Anglia.

The dog started to howl.

Of course, the Black Shuck was singing a song but to Quentin’s ears, it sounded like howling.

The song the Black Shuck was singing was, How Much Is That Human Sacrifice By The Window?

Coincidentally a stained glass window of Saint Elizabeth (cousin of the Virgin Mary) holding a baby Saint John the Baptist from one of Dunwich’s 8 lost sunken ancient churches had washed up on to the shore alongside the altar.

“Welcome to Saint John’s Eve 2020,” Thessalonike smiled a sinister smile at Quentin as she raised the knife.

“British Prime Minister Boris Johnson says you’re not practicing social distancing,” Dracul Van Helsing shouted as he aimed a crossbow and hit Thessalonike in the chest with an arrow.

“Shit,” Thessalonike started bleeding like a woman in a TV commercial for an obviously unsuccessful tampon product.

She headed to the ocean and dived in turning into a mermaid.

Gurkas from British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s personal British Army Brigade started wrestling with the korrigans.

Eventually Quentin was freed and the Saint John’s Eve Dunwich Human Sacrifice for 2020 was cancelled.

Van Helsing went to a nearby pub to have several cold beers while Quentin Talbot was taken to a doctor.

Inside the pub, Van Helsing was approached by the ancient Babylonian Queen Semiramis.

“Sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong, eh, Van Helsing?”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 23rd
2020.

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Pan Goatee Slays Uglos To Mark Ring of Fire Solar Eclipse

June 21, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Beautiful women are proof that Heaven exists.”

-Actor Ricardo Montalban

“And ugly women are proof that Hell exists.”

-Satyr global aesthetics and beautification campaigner Pan Goatee

Pan Goatee was very much regretting the fact that today’s Ring of Fire solar eclipse was over Asia and parts of Africa rather than over the western half of North America.

For it would have been better today if darkness fell over western North America on the 1st day of the summer solstice.

The reason being that loads of ugly women in the city where Pan Goatee lived decided to ruin the first day of summer for everyone by walking around in public without wearing paper bags over their heads.

The first ugly woman that the genetically created satyr serial killer noticed was one walking out of a physiotherapy clinic at a nearby shopping centre.

“You don’t need physiotherapy, you need plastic surgery,” Pan Goatee remarked as he lopped off the uglo’s head with his astral laser machete.

The next uglo he came across was some facially aesthetically challenged creature who was sitting on a chair in front of a barber shop.

“These poor guys have only recently opened up after 3 months of lockdown,” Pan Goatee pointed out as he lopped off this uglo’s head, “I don’t think they appreciate an ugly looking thing parked in front frightening off all the customers.”

Dostoevsky once wrote that beauty could save the world.

No wonder the western world was on the brink of a widespread Neo-Marxist insurrection with all these uglos walking about, Goatee politically philosophized.

On his way back home, Goatee passed a fat ugly blimp sitting at a bus stop.

“Why aren’t you busy tearing down statues with all the other uglos and their brainless boyfriends with incredibly bad taste in politics, economics, culture and women?” Goatee asked rhetorically aloud as he lopped off the blimp’s head.

. . .

Pope Francis the Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli was sitting at his office in the Vatican when the phone rang.

“Hello, Comrade Jorge here,” Francis spoke into the receiver.

“Hello, this is the AntiOdysseus,” said the voice at the other end.

“The AntiOdysseus?” Pope Francis was quizzical.

“Yes,” answered the exasperated voice at the other end, “If there’s an Odysseus, there’s got to be an AntiOdysseus.”

“I suppose,” Francis chewed on his pencil.

“Listen, me and the boys here have just finished building a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels at an Italian government lodge outside Rome and we’d like to bring it down to Rome and wheel it within the walls of the Vatican,” the AntiOdysseus explained, “Is that all right?”.

“I guess that’s all right,” Francis checked his day and night planner, “If Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was here, he’d probably object to a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet being wheeled into the Vatican. But he’s currently in Regensburg in Bavaria.”

. . .

“Both Nazism and Communism are the bastard children of Freemasonry.
With last night’s tearing down of the statue of the white supremacist, Aryan race promoting, swastika worshipping and Ku Klux Klan co-founding Scottish Rite Freemasonic Confederate General Albert Pike in Washington DC, it is now obvious which bastard child of Freemasonry is on the ascendant in America.
It is Communism the bastard child of French Grand Orient Lodge Freemasonry and Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati.”

-Renfield R. Renfield MP

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 21st
2020.

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‘Woke’ Zombies of The Apocalypse: Jacobin Terror Revisited

June 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A group of reporters were social distancing in British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s office waiting for the parliamentarian to come out of his inner office and make a statement on the ongoing Neo-Bolshevik insurrection in America and its accompanying sympathetic protests in Britain.

How a movement that started out as peaceful protests against racism and police brutality had also produced a side movement of rioting and looting and the violent overthrow of all vestiges of the past promising a nebulous future which the ‘Woke’ zombies of the apocalypse assured everyone would be so much better than today.

The politicians who seemed to be the most sympathetic to the violent looting and rioting ‘Woke’ zombies of the Apocalypse were also those who were most in favour of keeping their citizens under perpetual lockdown and quarantine.

But then Commies of a feather always oppress together (when they’re not out in the streets re-enacting the Jacobin Reign of Terror).

Meanwhile inside his inner office, Renfield was reading the news that his favourite brand of pancake syrup was being taken off the market.

“What? No more Aunt Jemima?” Renfield exclaimed, “What happened? Did a pair of white cops kneel on her neck and then shoot her? Just wait until I get my hands on those cops.’

Renfield’s parliamentary assistant Mirabella Francesca Franconia then shooed the reporters out of the parliamentary office into the parliamentary hallway.

She didn’t want her boss getting in hot water again like he was prone to do.

Meanwhile outside on the streets of London, a courier for Brucie’s Baloney Parlour had just been run over by Boris Johnson’s motorcade when he held up a sign in front of it saying There Is No Civil War Going On In Syria.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 17th
2020.

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Kissing The Baphomet

June 15, 2020 at 10:22 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )


The Baphomet wholeheartedly approves of the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest idiotic 6-3 Supreme Court decision.

This is what happens when you name a bunch of Freemasons to the Supreme Court.

You get a bunch of satanic occultic judicial celebrations in honour of sexual perversions, debauchery and abominations.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was looking at some photographs taken by Set Enterprises Intelligence Units of six U.S. Supreme Court judges involved in a ritual ceremony where they were kissing the buttocks of the living Baphomet as opposed to a Baphomet statue (which were the only statues approved of by the Neo-Bolshevik Communists currently rioting and looting and tearing down statues across the United States and in much of the Western world).

There was some momentary consternation when Chief Justice John Roberts got his lips stuck to the living Baphomet’s buttocks.

Some “Holy” Water blessed by Pope Francis was thrown on the spectacle to see if that would detach the said Chief Justice’s lips from the said Baphomet’s buttocks.

But instead it served as a spiritual form of Crazy Glue binding the Chief Justice’s lips to the Baphomet’s buttocks even further.

Finally a welder (whose unofficial title was Court Arsonist to the Court of George Soros and a person wracking up the frequent flyer miles as he flew back and forth across U.S. cities where coincidentally various city districts went up in flames prior to his leaving) was brought in to burn Roberts’ lips off Baphomet’s buttocks.

“This definitely marks the end of the United States of America,” Renfield mused aloud as he looked at the photographs, “The country will end up being destroyed either in a Neo-Bolshevik insurrection or civil war or one massive steam bath house orgy (livestreamed on Facebook and Twitter) if not a combination of all 3. And history will record the United States of America as being unique in that it was a society that went from barbarism to decadence without ever having achieved an intermediate state of civilization.”

. . .

Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie was working in his backyard illegal and unregulated pharmaceutical manufacturing facility when he noted an environmentally eco-friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship flying overhead.

At first, Uncle Ernie assumed it was a creation of his own mind (or what little was left of it) due to the formula for creating a horned toad venom laced pizza that he was working with that originated in a Los Angeles based pizzaria that was called the Breasts of Marianne de Lilith Pizzaria.

However the captain of the ship after coming down a rope to the ground informed Uncle Ernie that the ship was very much real.

The ship belonged to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set was hoping to show the world that U.S. Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a hypocrate and a judicial version of Nancy Pelosi.

What she Ginsburg decreed for the masses of the nation she would never have for herself.

Set hoped to prove this point by flying Uncle Ernie to Washington DC.

Uncle Ernie would go to the Supreme Court dressed as one of his many stage female persona characters and enter Associate Justice Ginsburg’s judge’s chambers and use her own private washroom.

Uncle Ernie would be wearing a mosquito sized bodycam at the top of his brassiere peering out from the top of his low-cut evening gown and would record Justice Ginsburg’s reaction for all the world to see.

Uncle Ernie agreed to the trip (which would be of a non-hallucinogenic nature).

He wondered which one of his stage female persona he should go into Justice Ginsburg’s private washroom dressed as.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 15th
2020.

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Marxist Mingling of Voldemort and Baphomet

June 10, 2020 at 10:43 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received an email from Set Enterprises’ newest employee the eccentric self-proclaimed alchemist Dr. Marmalade Montague formerly of Paris.

In it, Dr. Marmalade Montague had made the claim that an evil German alchemist Dr. Wilhelm Das Tore the former CEO of Fenster Software was trying to alchemically mingle the two separate entities Voldemort and Baphomet together.

“There might actually be something to Dr. Montague’s assertion,” Renfield reflected.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had received reports that Marxists, Maoists, Trotskyites and anarchists as well as Baal and Baphomet worshippers were trying to infiltrate the Black Lives Matter movement and use it for their own nefarious purposes.

An example of this happened in Mexico this past Monday June 8th when Baal and Baphomet worshipping anarchists attacked the Cathedral of Xalapa in the Mexican state of Veracruz and the Expiatory Temple of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

The buildings were vandalized and spray painted with satanic graffiti.

The vandalism started out as what was supposed to be a peaceful protest against police brutality in sympathy with protests in the U.S.

Of course Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxists were on the warpath on behalf of Baal and Baphomet as well.

Actors and actresses, particularly those of the millennial and gen X variety, were stringent Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxists.

A group that Renfield called the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet (because of their fondness for appropriating letters of the alphabet for themselves) envisioned an Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxist global atheistic secular state ruling the world.

But this Marxist atheistic secular global state that the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet envisioned would have a secularized form of the old ancient Hindu caste system with they the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet as the secularized form of the Brahmin caste with traditional Catholics and Bible believing Evangelical Protestants becoming the secularized form of the Dalit caste or the untouchables.

And it would be they the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet who would be the ultimate arbiters of language and particularly pronouns.

If someone used a pronoun to describe someone that the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet did not like, they would be subject to abuse and ridicule on social media and jail terms, fines and imprisonment in real life.

The Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet claimed to be about equality but really they were about superiority- for themselves.

As Renfield was writing up a dossier on all this, he reflected to himself, “It’s rather ironic that most of these Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet claim to be following basic science when it comes to Climate Change (the Greta Thunberg hypothesis of climate change that is which is asserted to be scientific dogma) but fail miserably at Science when it comes to basic principles of Biology and human anatomy.”

Writer J.K. Rowling had recently come afoul of Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxist SJWs (and that did not stand for single Jehovah’s Witnesses – those who were unmarried and thus not getting a constant piece of tail which at least might explain their idiotic pronouncements).

J.K. Rowling had tweeted the George Orwell character Winston Smith equivalent of saying that 2 + 2 = 4.

She was immediately jumped upon by various actors and actresses from the Harry Potter series of movies (people like Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and others) who immediately tweeted and asserted in the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet equivalent of Orwellian Doublespeak that 2 +2 = 5.

“Yes, there’s definitely something to Dr. Marmalade Montague’s assertion that an alchemical mingling of Voldemort and Baphomet is unfolding along with a universe of chaos,” Renfield thought, “Voldemort is back, united with Baphomet and he seems to have the entire student population of Hogwart’s on his side.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 10th
2020.


Mirabella Francesca Franconia: Renfield R. Renfield’s Executive Assistant on the lookout for disciples of an alchemically mingled Voldemort and Baphomet

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The Elk From CERN On His Dark Throne

June 3, 2020 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Elk From CERN On His Dark Throne

Bill Gates was sitting on the couch blubbering away like a baby when his wife Melinda walked in.

“Bill, what’s wrong?” Melinda asked her husband as she poured herself a glass of champagne and opened up a tin of caviar.

“British MP Renfield R. Renfield said in a TV interview last night that I wasn’t cool enough to be the Antichrist,” Tears came down Gates’ cheeks like Niagara Falls, “He said that I was too bland and boring. And after all those billions I’ve spent trying to develop a vaccine that will be able to physically trace and track people – a digital identity card much like the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13. And then Renfield tells people that I’m not cool enough to be the Antichrist.”

“Well dear,” Melinda checked her text messages on her smart phone for half an hour and then went over and kissed him, “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re cool enough to be the Antichrist.”

“But Renfield said I wasn’t,” Bill Gates continued to blubber like a whale who was full of it, “And if Renfield said I was cool enough to be the Antichrist, then I really would be.”

“What about my opinion?” Melinda was furious, “Are you saying it’s only worth chopped liver?”.

“Speaking of chopped liver,” Gates started to wipe his glasses with a handkerchief, “Did you remember to pick up some Whiskas for the cat?”.

“You!” Melinda stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was reading a report on his desk.

Apparently according to the report, the demons Baal and Baphomet had gone to the home of Dr. Anders Tegnell (who was Sweden’s chief epidemiologist) last night and had threatened him.

Dr. Tegnell was the man responsible for Sweden’s controversial decision not to impose a strict lockdown that the rest of the world had done along Stalinist-Maoist lines.

Dr. Tegnell had predicted a couple of months ago that the London models (developed by a research team in London England) showing the number of deaths that would occur due to Covid-19 were far too high a projection.

The epidemiologist said at the time that the number of deaths in Sweden due to Covid-19 would be around 4,000 the same number that usually occurs in the case of a normal flu season and there was no need to move to a total lockdown for the country.

Indeed the number of deaths for Sweden turned out to be 4,542 at this time (quite close to the number Dr. Anders Tegnell had originally predicted a couple of months ago).

While the London models (which the rest of the world’s medical experts had blindly accepted and followed) had far overestimated the number of deaths.

Dr. Anders Tegnell’s moderate approach had fitted in with the numbers he originally projected.

And yet today at a press conference, Dr. Anders Tegnell said that there were far too many deaths in the country.

Had Baal and Baphomet pressured him to attack his own approach?

. . .

Dr. Marmalade Montague (the former Paris baker who now fancied himself the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze and a time traveler from that Sun King era) had flown to Rome Italy in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s environmentally friendly dirigible airship.¬†

He had gone down to visit Rome’s catacombs.

And as he was walking in one catacomb just below the Vatican, he was startled to see the demons Baal and Baphomet kneeling before an elk seated on a midnight dark black throne.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 3rd
2020.

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An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

June 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

Monsieur Philippe Geoffrei Gaston a TV reporter for France 24 Live (which is France’s 24/7¬†international news TV channel) was interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to get a British perspective on Britain leaving the EU.

Renfield was eating malt vinegar covered Fish and Chips wrapped in the Times of London newspaper, drinking brown ale and eating gulab jamun for dessert which as the British MP told the French journalist would definitely be considered the most typical British cuisine in the year 2020.

“Boris Johnson says he wants a final deal between Britain and the EU before December 31st of this year or otherwise it’s a no deal Brexit,” Gaston noted, “Do you think a final deal is possible before that date?”.

“No, it will probably turn out to be a no deal Brexit,” Renfield wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“And why is that?” Gaston asked.

“Because the Europeans are so unreasonable about everything,” Renfield lit a cigar.

“Well,” Gaston frowned, “as a Brit waving good-bye to Europe, what do you think would be the best thing to happen to Europe?”.

“The best thing to happen to Europe is if a Bourbon once again sat on a restored French throne, a Hapsburg sat on a restored Austro-Hungarian throne and a Romanov sat on a restored Russian Czarist throne,” Renfield answered, as with his heavy cigar smoke, he set fire to a small bookshelf behind him on which sat three books entitled respectively The Legacy of The French Revolution, The Legacy of Woodrow Wilson and The Legacy of Lenin.

Startled by this answer, Monsieur Gaston with his cigarette accidentally set fire to the small French tricoloured flag that sat on his desk.

The interview came to an abrupt end and Renfield was then interviewed by a BBC reporter.

Towards the end of that interview, Renfield was asked by the BBC reporter Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys on whether or not Bill Gates could be the Antichrist.

“No, Bill Gates is far too bland, boring and nerdy to be the Antichrist,” Renfield answered, “his vaccine implant tracking system could pave the way for the Antichrist’s Mark of The Beast system so in that way Gates could be a forerunner. But Gates just doesn’t have that necessary cool to be the Antichrist. Lucifer is not only intelligent but also an artist who likes to dazzle with his beauty. So Gates doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Although he most likely does cut the cheese.”

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys was quite taken aback by this answer.

Humphreys’ assistant, a man dressed in a British army captain’s uniform and wearing a peacock mask over his face, enters the room where the BBC reporter is livestreaming, “Are you free, Mr. Humphreys? We’d like you to look at some video footage of Donald Trump getting a cream pie in the face thrown by an invisible entity while Trump was surrounded by Evil Empire Stormtrooper looking Military Police as black military helicopters were hovering overhead in the background. One of our video technicians, who in my opinion has been drinking far too many Harvey Wallbangers on the job, claims that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did it. We’d like your opinion.”

“Not now,” Humphreys foamed, “I’m busy interviewing Renfield. Ask Mr. Lucas.”

“Mr. Lucas, are you free?” The peacock masked wearing army captain ran down the hall.

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys turned back to Renfield.

“So you think the Antichrist will be an artist?” Humphreys inquired.

“Yes, it will be a scientific technocratic world state that the Antichrist will be running,” Renfield answered, “But the Antichrist won’t come across as being a scientific technocrat himself as those of a strictly scientific technocratic personality are generally quite bland and boring. Most people would probably prefer being beheaded rather than pledging fealty to or offering worship to such a personality. However someone who is quite artistic and flamboyant the people would have no problem following or even worshipping. The Mexican artist Diego Rivera asked Leon Trotsky in 1938 who he thought would genuinely win the most popularity in a worldwide election if one were held, Hitler or Stalin? And Trotsky answered Hitler because Stalin too much acted the stiff technocratic scientific socialist in his personality and demeanour (unlike the smiling demeanour that Stalin was portrayed as having in Soviet art propaganda) whereas Hitler had the dramatic showmanship of an artist and could easily capture people’s emotions and feelings.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider Tunnel in Switzerland, the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were having a picnic.

Nimrod was adding black flies to a sandwich while Asmodeus was lighting a cigarette.

A hundreds of meters tall creature with an octopus head, the wings of a dragon and the body of a human with webbed looking human arms and legs emerged from the tunnel.

“Isn’t that Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the Sleeper of R’lyeh coming out of the tunnel?” Nimrod asked.

“I believe it is,” Asmodeus put on his monocle to look.

Cthulhu was followed by an elk.

“Isn’t that an elk?” Nimrod put peanut butter and jam on his black flies.

Asmodeus struggled between lighting his cigarette and putting his monocle on his right eye again, “I believe it is.”

“What’s Cthulhu doing emerging from the CERN tunnel with an elk?” Nimrod wanted to know.

“Well, I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you,” Asmodeus was trying to decide between buffalo gryphon’s wings or teriyaki gryphon’s wings from his KFC Hybrids Bucket.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 2nd
2020.

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