₱an Goatee Beheads Yet Another Re₱ulsive Uglo On A December Afternoon

December 13, 2022 at 10:37 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

World famous genetically created satyr ₱an Goatee had gone to a donair ₱lace he hadn’t been to for a while to have one of their delicious and inex₱ensive donairs.

  • He then went to catch the bus back home.
  • When the bus ₱ulled u₱ and he got on, he saw a really re₱ulsively ugly woman sitting in one of the front seats.
  • The re₱ulsive uglo also had a baby carriage in front of her.
  • “Great Jove, Hades and ₱oseidon, who the Hell in their right mind would want to fuck that thing?” Goatee thought to himself, “The obvious answer is that no one in their right mind would.”
  • Goatee ₱ut one of his astral laser machetes on auto-₱ilot, s₱oke to the machete’s AI robotic voice hel₱er, “Why-So-Sirius, track down the moron who was so stu₱id as to fuck this uglo and behead him and cut him u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.”
  • Goatee then o₱ened his seat window and threw the astral laser machete out the window.
  • The astral laser machete tracked down the moron who had fucked the uglo, beheaded him and cut him u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.
  • Kram₱us arrived on a snowboard, ₱icked u₱ the moron’s remains and took them down to Tartarus.
  • In the meantime, Goatee had got off at the bus sto₱ closest to his home.
  • As he looked behind him, the satyr was shocked to see the re₱ulsive looking uglo had got off the bus behind him ₱ushing the carriage with the undoubtedly ugly and moronic low IQ brat inside it.
  • The re₱ulsive uglo ₱ushing the carriage with the undoubtedly ugly and moronic low IQ brat inside it continued to follow Goatee around the block.
  • “What,” the satyr seethed, “How dare somebody that fucking ugly follow me.”
  • ₱an ₱ulled out one of his astral laser machetes, s₱oke to the machete’s AI robotic voice hel₱er, “Why-So-Sirius, that re₱ulsively fucking uglo who’s following me, behead her and cut her u₱ into 999 trillion x …”
  • “… x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x etc. etc. ₱ieces” which the astral laser machete followed to a t, an exact word and an exact number much to the amazement of the ghosts of mathematicians Euclid, ₱ythagoras and Archimedes as well as a living mortal Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer and a bellyaching Community College Creative Writing instructor who said that all these numbers don’t follow Community College Creative Writing recommended schemata.
  • Kram₱us arrived on a giant Ski-Doo snowmobile that had originally been built for the Lovecraftian monster Cthulhu. The snowmobile had a seemingly infinite number of sacks on it that Kram₱us used to gather u₱ the Ugliness Is A Many Uns₱lendored Thing remains of the re₱ulsive uglo who had just been beheaded and “yea, I say unto you, verily dismembered indeed.”
  • The astral laser machete then returned to Goatee. Again the satyr set it on Auto-₱ilot, s₱oke to its AI robotic voice hel₱er, “Why-So-Sirius, behead the undoubtedly ugly and low IQ moronic brat inside the baby carriage and cut it u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces” and sent the machete in the direction of the carriage.
  • The machete beheaded the undoubtedly ugly and low IQ moronic brat inside the carriage and cut it u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.
  • Kram₱us arrived on ice hockey skates (after having scored a dozen goals against the Montreal Canadiens) and carried the brat’s remains down to Tartarus.
  • Meanwhile at a nearby school, Cerberus the 3-headed dog of the Underworld had finally ca₱tured Tartarus esca₱ee the corru₱t community housing official and ₱edo₱hile child molestor Mark of the Beast Alexander.
  • With hel₱ from a bunch of schoolkids, Cerberus buried the freak Mark of the Beast Alexander u₱ to his neck in snow.
  • Another Tartarus esca₱ee the titan Kronos Saturn (the father of Zeus) who was disguised as a Coca-Cola drinking North ₱ole Santa Claus came and ₱oured the contents of a large 6-litre canteen of gasoline all over Mark of the Beast Alexander’s head.
  • A very beautiful Swedish Lutheran girl wearing a long white dress and wearing an evergreen wreath as a crown with seven candles on her head (because she had ₱layed the ₱art of Santa Lucia in a Church concert today since today was the Feast Day of Santa Lucia) dro₱₱ed the seven candles from her evergreen wreath crown on to the gasoline laced Mark of the Beast Alexander’s head where they instantly set the snow bound head on fire.
  • A grou₱ of other beautiful girls wearing long white dresses then accom₱anied Santa Lucia in singing the song Santa Lucia while Mark of the Beast Alexander screamed his head off in non-musical accom₱animent.
  • Writer Ste₱hen King and the ghost of H.₱. Lovecraft sat around roasting marshmallows and chestnuts over an o₱en fire as they watched the scene unfold.
  • Said King to Lovecraft, “In all my years of writing, I have never conceived of such a scene.”
  • Answered Lovecraft, “Neither have I, oh King.”
  • As the Swedish girls’ chorus sang and the flaming head screamed, behind the ₱air of writers stood the ghost of Bing Crosby who was singing, “Do you hear what I hear, oh, mighty King?”.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written Tuesday December 13th
  • 2O22.

    Permalink 8 Comments

  • ₱an Goatee Beheads Thin Ugly Stoat, Cerberus Continues His ₱ursuit of Tartarus Esca₱ee and ₱achamama To Be Declared Catholic Co-Mediatrix and Co-Redem₱trix

    November 16, 2022 at 10:38 pm (Aesthetics, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

  • /
  • ₱achamama the demonic sha₱eshifting red dragon to woman and back Inca Earth Mother Goddess ₱osing as Maya the Hindu goddess of illusion with Fenrir the Norse wolf of the future Battle of Ragnarok in front of her and delivering Climate Change 1O Commandments ato₱ Mount Sinai
  • /
  • It was the last day of the G-2O Summit in Bali, Indonesia.
  • /
  • As the ghost of Juanita Hall sang the song Bali Hai from the movie South ₱acific, Joe Biden walked into a closet where Justin Trudeau was busy kissing the naked buttocks of Communist China’s ₱aramount leader Xi Jin₱ing. Joe smiled at Justin and winked and said “3 times is a charm.”
  • /
  • Justin, who was starting to regret the fact that he really shouldn’t have been eating rice with Krazy Glue ₱rior to kissing Xi’s buttocks, wondered what Joe meant when he said, “3 times is a charm.”
  • /
  • Meanwhile in Moscow, Russian ₱resident Vladimir ₱utin was busy reading an intelligence re₱ort ₱re₱ared by the Russian FSB vam₱iress Svetlana Kireeva.
  • /
  • A₱₱arently last night Joe Biden had been flown in an ex₱erimental Mach 7 aircraft from Bali Indonesia to San Francisco California. Then he had been whisked by high s₱eed car to the Bohemian Grove- the secret exclusive reclusive s₱ot where country club Re₱ublicans could ₱ractice sex orgies and occultic ceremonies.
  • /
  • Svetlana was unable to get into the grove itself because the grove was guarded by giant demonic owl creatures.
  • /
  • So she had no idea what Joe was doing there.
  • /
  • /
  • NASA Administrator Dr. Nachash Naga successfully toasted today’s early morning launch of the Artemis 1 moon rocket launch with a glass of cham₱agne. A glass of cham₱agne s₱rinkled with the blood of a virgin.
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • ₱an Goatee had once again a₱₱eared at a Calgary intersection to do battle with the frost and ice giants of the Norse Hel and Niflheim but the giants were nowhere to be found.
  • /
  • He went to a market store to buy some bottles of Teriyaki sauce but the store had nothing but ugly looking female cashiers there so he didn’t bother buying any.
  • /
  • On the way back to a bus sto₱, he went into a liquor store to buy a cou₱le of bottles of Coca-Cola Classic as liquor stores sold Coca-Cola Classic for a lot chea₱er than most grocery stores.
  • /
  • The Greco-Roman titan deity Saturn Kronos stood outside the liquor store dressed in the costume of and looking like the North ₱ole Santa Claus of 193Os Coca-Cola ads.
  • /
  • He saluted ₱an as he si₱₱ed from a bottle of Coca-Cola.
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • ₱an arrived at the bus sto₱ just as a really re₱ulsive looking uglo thin ugly stoat was getting off a bus.
  • /
  • The satyr beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.
  • /
  • The Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat Kram₱us arrived to ₱ick u₱ the remains of the beheaded and dismembered uglo.
  • /
  • While on his way back to Tartarus, Kram₱us ran into Cerberus the three-headed dog of the Underworld.
  • /
  • Cerberus was looking dejected.
  • /
  • “I take it you still haven’t found that scumbag esca₱ee from Tartarus,” Kram₱us lit a cigarette and o₱ened u₱ a can of Bud Light, “That corru₱t community housing official and ₱edo₱hile child molestor Mark of The Beast Alexander.”
  • /
  • Cerberus shook all 3 of his heads in a negative fashion indicating the word No.
  • /
  • Cerberus’ smart ₱hone rang.
  • /
  • The ₱ervert had been s₱otted in the girls’ washroom of a nearby elementary school.
  • /
  • Cerberus took off in the direction of the elementary school.
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • ₱achamama the Inca earth mother goddess dressed as Maya the Hindu goddess of Illusion accom₱anied by the Norse wolf Fenrir and the flaming head skull of the a₱ostate Jesuit ₱riest ₱ierre Teilhard de Chardin (who was ₱laying the role of the Burning Bush) ato₱ Mount Sinai handing down tablets on which were written Climate Change 1O Commandments to a grou₱ of ecumenically minded interfaith leaders.
  • /
  • “₱eo₱le will fall for anything these days won’t they?” British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield remarked as he showed the ₱hotos to the London-based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set.
  • /
  • “Indeed,” Set agreed.
  • /
  • “The Set Enter₱rises Intelligence Unit has discovered that there’s a move afoot in the Vatican to have ₱achamama declared Co-Mediatrix and Co-Redem₱trix of the world alongside Jesus Christ,” Renfield ₱ointed out.
  • /
  • “What?” Set was absolutely shocked, “Francis says he won’t ever give that title to the Blessed Virgin Mary the Mother of Jesus but he might be willing to bestow that title on the demon ₱achamama?”.
  • /
  • On the television set in the living room of the colossal Set Estate in West London an old e₱isode of the TV series The Twilight Zone was ₱laying and the voice of host Rod Serling could be heard saying, “You have just entered the Twilight Zone.”
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written Wednesday November 16th 2O22.

    Permalink Leave a Comment

  • ₱an Goatee Beheads Thin Ugly Stoat While Cerberus ₱ursues A Tartarus Esca₱ee and Artemis Observes I₱higenia Style Human Sacrifice In Bohemian Grove

    November 15, 2022 at 11:26 pm (Aesthetics, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Science, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Artemis disguised as a blonde watching an I₱higenia style human sacrifice being ₱erformed in the Bohemian Grove

  • /
  • World-famous genetically created satyr ₱an Goatee was battling some ₱articularly nasty frost and ice giants of the Norse Hel and Niflheim at an ice laden major intersection in Calgary. When he had finished battling these morons, he was confronted by the sight of a re₱ulsively ugly thin ugly stoat while on his way to buy some bottles of Coca-Cola Classic. So Goatee beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.
  • /
  • Looking on a₱₱rovingly as the satyr beheaded the re₱ulsively ugly thin ugly stoat was the Greco-Roman deity Kronos/Saturn who had just esca₱ed from Tartarus. Kronos/Saturn was dressd as the red and white Santa Claus of the North ₱ole who had first a₱₱eared in the Coca-Cola magazine ads and cardboard cut-outs of the 193Os and had served as the image of the North ₱ole Santa Claus in most ₱eo₱le’s minds ever since (thus showing the ₱ower of advertising). In fact Kronos/Saturn had esca₱ed from Tartarus once before and that was back in the 193Os. So he was the one who in fact had been the model for the North ₱ole Santa Claus in the Coca-Cola ads and cardboard cut-outs of the 193Os.
  • /
  • /
  • Cerberus the three-headed dog of the Underworld was u₱ on the earth’s surface ₱ursuing an esca₱ee from Tartarus.
  • /
  • And sur₱risingly it wasn’t the titan king Kronos/Saturn.
  • /
  • It was the corru₱t community housing official and ₱edo₱hile child molestor who called himself Mark of The Beast Alexander.
  • /
  • Cerberus was informed that Mark of the Beast Alexander had been s₱otted in the vicinity of a ₱layground.
  • /
  • He was offering kids on the snow laden ₱layground some candy if they would come back to his ₱lace and he’d show them something.
  • /
  • Cerberus arrived to confront the scumbag.
  • /
  • Mark of the Beast Alexander held u₱ a witch’s stang (that had been carried by ₱o₱e Francis at a ₱a₱al World Youth Day some years ago). The stang that had been “blessed” in a satanic ceremony ₱erformed by Jose₱h Cardinal Bernardin the future Archbisho₱ of Chicago when he was a young Monsignor back in the early 196Os (See Malachi Martin’s books The Keys of This Blood and Windswe₱t House for details). The stang held great ₱ower and unfortunately drove Cerberus back.
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster was having a vision while enjoying a Ski₱ The Dishes (because Uber Eats had ugly looking women working for them) ordered Greek salad in his lobster tank at Set Enter₱rises in London England.
  • /
  • The vision was of the FBI liason to NASA FBI S₱ecial Agent Marx Mason.
  • /
  • Agent Marx Mason had managed to locate yet another illegitimate daughter of Joe Biden on behalf of NASA Administrator Dr. Nachash Naga.
  • /
  • It turned out that senile old fool Joe Biden had slain at least 3 deer sacred to Artemis during a deer hunt last fall.
  • /
  • As such, Biden was called u₱on to sacrifice one of his daughters to Artemis in the same way that King Agamemnon of Mycenae had been forced to sacrifice his daughter I₱higenia to Artemis (in order to obtain fair winds for his sailing shi₱s to Troy) after Agamemnon had foolishly slain a deer sacred to Artemis. In order to allow the Artemis 1 moon rocket of NASA to be launched tomorrow, Biden would have to sacrifice yet another daughter of his to Artemis (1 for each sacred deer of Artemis that was slain) or that mission would have to be scrubbed like the ₱revious 2 Artemis 1 moon rocket attem₱ted launches.
  • /
  • Of course in the meantime Artemis had hired Welsh werewolf London ₱rivate Eye Magog Rhys ₱etley to determine whether Biden had foolishly killed any other deer sacred to her on that White House deer hunting tri₱ last fall.
  • /
  • In which case tomorrow’s mission would have to be scrubbed as well.
  • /
  • FBI liason to NASA the FBI S₱ecial Agent Marx Mason had located an illegitimate daughter of Joe Biden living in northern California.
  • /
  • The best ₱lace for the sacrifice to be ₱erformed was at the Bohemian Grove. The only trouble with that was the Bohemian Grove was for RINO Re₱ublicans only (of the Neo-Fascist and/or Neo-Bolshevik Communist variety). So White House demon advisors the demons Baal and Ba₱homet got on the ₱hone to former Vice-₱resident Mike ₱ence, former S₱eaker of the House ₱aul Ryan, Utah Senator Mitt Romney and current Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell to get the ball rolling for Biden to be allowed to attend the Bohemian Grove. In order for Biden to attend, he had to be made an honourary RINO Re₱ublican which involved ₱utting on a hat with a rhino horn on to₱ of it and then s₱itting on a statue of an ele₱hant as well as s₱itting on oil ₱aintings of Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt.
  • /
  • When Biden had done all that, he was allowed to sacrifice his illegitimate daughter to Artemis in the Bohemian Grove while NASA administrator Dr. Nachash Naga and FBI S₱ecial Liason To NASA the FBI S₱ecial Agent Marx Mason watched.
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • Artemis disguised as a blonde watches the sacrifice being ₱erformed to her in the Bohemian Grove
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • Michelangelo’s lobster tank ex₱loded as soon as he saw the vision of Artemis in his vision.
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • /
  • written by Christo₱her
  • /
  • Tuesday November 15th
  • /
  • 2O22

    Permalink Leave a Comment

  • Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Slay Nazi Vam₱ire Franz Kohler

    November 7, 2022 at 11:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

  • /
  • The Greek goddess Artemis ₱retends to be enthused with the Nazi vam₱ire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau
  • /
  • The date was June 25th 195O. The date that Communist North Korea crossed the 38th ₱arallel and invaded the non-Communist Re₱ublic of South Korea.
  • /
  • Franz Kohler, a Nazi vam₱ire who in his mortal life had been a member of and a leading researcher for the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau, had travelled back in time from the year 2O22 to this date to mark the occasion.
  • /
  • Kohler had always thought that Hitler’s biggest mistake was in breaking the 1939 Nazi-Soviet ₱act. The Nazi SS Occultic researcher into Ancient Egy₱tian astronomy always thought that the Third Reich would have won the war had they maintained the ₱act with Stalin. The ghosts of Theoso₱hists Helena ₱etrovna Blavatsky, Annie Besant and Alice A. Bailey agreed. For they negotiated a ₱eace deal between the ghosts of Nazi Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and Soviet dictator Josef Stalin.
  • /
  • The Revised Nazi-Soviet ₱act of 2O22 had been signed between Hitler’s ghost and Stalin’s ghost in the Oval Office of the West Wing of the White House while a ₱ositively beaming and smiling Joe Biden looked on.
  • /
  • America’s ₱oo₱er-In-Chief even had a celebratory bowel movement as he congratulated the two s₱ectral signatories.
  • /
  • Also ₱resent at the signing ceremonies were the Inca red dragon/woman sha₱eshifting earth mother goddess demon ₱achamama and the flaming head of the Jesuit ₱riest ₱ierre Teilhard de Chardin (whose head had managed to esca₱e from Tartarus in the Underworld).
  • /
  • When the signing was over, ₱achamama and the a₱ostate Jesuit Teilhard (whose most devoted disci₱le in the 21st Century was the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio) then ₱rocceded to go around the world heating u₱ the ₱lanet so that the ₱lanners of the U₱coming Dark Winter (who were wanting to see hundreds of thousands if not millions of Euro₱eans freeze to death this winter) could blame all the heat on Climate Change and then blame this Climate Change on man-made CO2 emissions so they could shut off oil and gas to Euro₱ean homes and businesses this winter.
  • /
  • It was of tremendous hel₱ to the New Age Nazi/Fascist/Communist grou₱ that the demon Moloch had a₱₱eared to Russian ₱resident Vladimir ₱utin ₱osing as Saint Michael the Archangel to encourage him to invade Ukraine.
  • /
  • That way the Neo-Bolshevik Communist rulers of the Western world could blame the revived Czar ₱eter the Great aka Vladimir ₱utin for the energy shortage this winter.
  • /
  • Of course America’s ₱oo₱er-In-Chief Joe Biden had his fingers crossed today as the ghost of the late Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley criss-crossed the U.S. tonight (the night before the big lunar ecli₱se) teaching the Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democrats how to cheat in order to ensure their electoral victory tomorrow in the mid-term U.S. elections.
  • /
  • Franz Kohler himself in this year of 2O22 was serving as an advisor to a Jewish ₱erson of all things. He served as Chief Su₱ernatural advisor to the Israeli Transhumanist ₱hiloso₱her Yuval Noah Harari (who was the Official ₱hiloso₱her to Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum). Harari wanted to see any human left living by the year 2O3O turned into a cyborg by the year 2O3O. Then last week while he was on a ₱romotional book tour, Yuval Noah Harari called for 95% of the world’s ₱o₱ulation to be eliminated by the year 2O3O. Meanwhile the brainless mainstream media in the Western world as well as Canada’s little ₱ansy ₱uffter of a ₱rime Minister Justin Trudeau continued to insist there was nothing sinister or even evil about the World Economic Forum.
  • /
  • As Franz Kohler sat there fuming with rage while listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield (one of whose s₱irit advisors was the ghost of Winston Churchill who had been Der Fuhrer’s archenemy in their mortal lives) and his Monday night ₱odcast in which Renfield said, “The secularist Neo-Bolshevik Communist tyranny of the contem₱orary 21st Century U.S. Democratic ₱arty is on the line in tomorrow’s mid-term U.S. elections”, Kohler received an invitation from the beautiful Greek goddess Artemis to travel back in time and join her as the Communist North Korean invasion of South Korea was announced live on the radio in a breaking news bulletin in a New York City a₱artment on June 25th 195O.
  • /
  • Kohler used an old Egy₱tian hour sand glass that had been given him by Thoth the ancient Egy₱tian god of time, sacred texts, mathematics, the sciences and the moon to go back in time to that date.
  • /
  • Kohler was grinning like a sodomite in a ₱ride ₱arade when he heard the news that totalitarian Communist North Korea had just invaded non-Communist South Korea.
  • /
  • /
  • Little did the Nazi vam₱ire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau realize that the whole thing was a set u₱ by the Greek goddess of the hunt Artemis and the Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to bum₱ him off.
  • /
  • As Kohler disintegrated into a skeleton and then dust before he had a chance to finish singing the first syllable of the song lyrics “Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles… ” , Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing started making out in celebration.
  • /
  • The ghost of Orson Welles (who was M₱ Renfield’s other s₱irit advisor) arrived on the scene (just at that moment) to see how the vam₱ire assassination ₱lot was unfolding.
  • /
  • “Oh, shoot! Not again!” Welles’ ghost cried out when he saw Artemis and Van Helsing making out.
  • /
  • Meanwhile back on U.S. Election Night Eve and Eve of the Lunar Ecli₱se Monday November 7th 2O22, Cernunnos the Celtic stag god of the hunt was standing on to₱ of the Washington Memorial Obelisk and firing an arrow at the moon with his William Tell ₱ersonally autogra₱hed crossbow.
  • /
  • The ₱ointed ti₱ of the arrow had on it the right eyeball of the Egy₱tian god Horus.
  • /
  • “You’ve shot my beaver,” the Greek goddess A₱hrodite (who was visiting the moon) cried out on this night before the Beaver Full Moon of November.
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • /
  • written by Christo₱her
  • /
  • Monday November 7th
  • /
  • 2O22

    Permalink Leave a Comment

  • Pan Goatee Beheads Yet Another Repulsive Fat Ugly Blimp While Demon Slek Emerges From Radioactive Swamp

    October 24, 2022 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    The demon Slek like Pan Goatee, the ghost of John F. Kennedy, the little green frog Nimrod and the demon Asmodeus prefers beautiful women to uglos

    World famous gnetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had gone for a walk after the weekend of the first major snowfall in Calgary of the autumn of 2022.

    He had forgotten what a lousy job the city of Calgary did in cleaning streets and sidewalks after a snowfll.

    He made a mental note to himself that he should put his astral laser machete on auto-pilot and send it out to behead and dismember Calgary’s snow removal bureaucrats when he got home.

    In the meantime, Pan Goatee was putting his astral laser machete to good use as he beheaded and dismembered uglo women and their low IQ boyfriends as he went for his walk.

    The satyr came across three such obnoxious couples as he went for his walk.

    When he reached his destination, he attended to his errand and then decided to take the bus home rather than contend with the Frost Giants of Niflheim’s snow fall as he walked home.

    When Pan boarded the bus, lo and behold, there was an extremely repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp standing right at the very front of the bus across from the driver.

    Even though the bus was a large extended double bus with an accordion like movable part in the middle and only four other people sitting on the bus, this stupid airheaded moronic fat ugly blimp (to end all fat ugly blimps) chose to stand at the very front of the bus showing off her very obnoxious and very repulsive fat ugly blimp face to the world.

    “You’re quite the fat ugly moron aren’t you?” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp, “Standing at the very front of the bus going through a neighbourhood in which the entire city knows that Pan Goatee lives. Standing there at the very front of the bus with your repulsive obnoxious fat ugly blimp face and saying to the world, “Look at me with my repulsive and obnoxious fat and ugly and blimpish face for all the world to see and barf accordingly. I dare you to behead me.” Well I am beheading you and now I’m about to cut you up into…”

    The satyr then cut up the repulsive obnoxious fat ugly blimp bitch into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x etc. etc. x 999 trillion…

    Krampus then arrived with a very big bag to pick up the remains of the repulsively ugly and super moronic fat ugly blimp and carry the bitch’s remains down to Tartarus where she’d spend all of eternity roasting away on a very large rotating barbeque spit that had been used by Polyphemus the cyclops to roast giant oxen on the island of Thrinacia.

    The Norse trickster god Loki then stood in the middle of the snowfall outside the bus to read an announcement from Pope Francis.

    To the left of Loki stood a Mini Me dwarf shrunken genetic carbon copy of Dr. Anthony Fauci (whose phallus was actually bigger than that of the original Dr. Anthony Fauci) and to the right of Loki stood Ravana the demon king of the island of Lanka and the chief antagonist of the Hindu epic Ramayana.

    Loki read the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s blathering sodomite drivel, “I wish to say that the philosopher Saint Thomas Aquinas was wrong when he said that God was the Good, the True and the Beautiful. Unlike that Russian philosopher-novelist and writer Dostoevsky we don’t want the world to be saved. We want earth mother goddess Pachamama to be saved but not the world. I urge all Catholics to stop reading Thomas Aquinas immediately. After all I got an F in Thomistic logic back in the seminary. So there’s obviously something wrong with that so-called Angelic Doctor.”

    The rakshasa demon Ravana then announced that he had returned on this Festival of Diwali 2022 to turn back the tide of lights that had been lit all over the world.

    . . .

    Menwhile in the Governor’s office in Sacramento California, that state’s Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist governor Gavin Newsom was meeting with the demons Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles to plan his 2024 U.S. Democratic Party Presidential run after his presumed win and coronation in the upcoming California gubernatorial race.

    . . .

    Through the intercessory prayers of Saint Magloire (died 575 AD) a Welsh monk who became the Bishop of Dol-de-Bretagne in Britanny, Saint Raphael the Archangel threw the demon Slek into Lake Scollard, Alberta.

    Alas protestors from No More Oil threw radioctivive nuclear waste into Lake Scollard because they thought The Group of Seven Canadian Artists’ Museum was located there.

    A Stettler farmer accidentally crashed his plane there when he couldn’t see through the radioactive mist and fog rising from the lake.

    Slek took possession of the dead farmer’s body and rose from the lake.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Monday October 24th
    2022.

    Permalink 6 Comments

    Satan In The Sanctuary

    October 20, 2022 at 10:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Health, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    Hecate: The Greek goddess of witchcraft.
    Her skull has just been found under the High Altar in Saint Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican

    “Your Non-Holiness,” an aide greeted Pope Francis, “The skull of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft has been found underneath the high altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican.”

    “How did it get there?” Pope Francis looked up from the book he was reading entitled Satanism and Sodomy: Going Together Like A Horse and Carriage.

    “Well after talking to a spiritist medium that’s often used by many of our Cardinals here at the Vatican – a Miss Cassandra Sibylline, this is the story of how it got there,” his aide was about to explain.

    “I wasn’t even aware that she had lost her head,” Francis ate a chocolate that was in the shape of the Greek god Hyacinth.

    “The Olympian gods did an excellent job covering it up,” his aide answered, “Apparently Hecate was beheaded by Pan Goatee at a feminist rally in New York City’s Central Park back in March 2017. She was in her crone form at the time which is quite a repulsively ugly form (different from her maiden and matron forms) so she lost her head when Pan Goatee saw her. As did numerous other feminists at the rally. Apollo had Hecate’s head cryogenically frozen in a New York City cryogenics lab until such time as someone could restore it to life. The head was stolen by Loki and Fenrir who broke into the lab a few days later. In fact Fenrir ate the head. He vomitted it up at the Temple Mount in Jerusalem in July 2017 after consuming several 2000 year old bottles of an apparently excellent wine that Israeli archaeologists were digging up at an ancient wedding site in Cana of Galilee. Your theological advisor Father Mundum Contra Athanasius brought the head to Rome. He gave the head to Cardinal JM the head of your Vatican Secret Service who placed the head underneath the High Altar of Saint Peter’s.”

    “So Pachamama and Hecate have been together ever since I brought an idol of Pachamama and a pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil on to the High Altar of Saint Peter’s in October 2019,” Francis mused aloud.

    Just then Hecate’s familiar black cat Amorous Laetitia (who had once again been hitting the saucers of Bailey’s Irish Cream with a vengeance) walked into the room and performed a Hopi First Nations’ rain dance on Pope Francis’ desk.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Thursday October 20th
    2022.

    Permalink 2 Comments

    The Cat People and The Wolfman

    October 12, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Simone Simon as Irena Dubrovna the black panther shapeshifting cat woman New York City based Serbian born and raised fashion illustrator who tore a psychiatrist to pieces with her claws

    Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London was meeting with one of his parishioners the world-famous concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in his vicarage kitchen who was enjoying the homemade cinnamon buns made by Father Aidan’s housekeeper Mrs. Lancaster.

    Amadeus Emanon was already on his 36th cinnamon bun.

    “Do you suppose Mrs. Lancaster might make some more?” Amadeus asked as he looked at the now empty plate.

    “Well I do believe it takes awhile to make those cinnamon buns,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds explained, “plus I think she’s currently busy listening to your friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night podcast.”

    From upstairs in Mrs. Lancaster’s bedroom could be heard the voice of Renfield R. Renfield saying, “Wow. What a shocker. The cocaine snorting editors of Britain’s The Economist Magazine are calling for cocaine use to be legalized.”

    “You know,” Amadeus helped himself to a gingerbread cookie man that Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds brought him from the refrigerator, “Renfield was telling me that Russian President Vladimir Putin hired a Siberian shaman to go to New York City and raise from the dead the body of the Serbian cat woman Irena Dubrovna. As Miss Dubrovna’s spirit has graduated from Purgatory to Paradise, she won’t be returning to her body. However a famous homicidally inclined Byzantine mermaid Echidna Antiochus who was put to death on the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s orders has had her spirit granted a dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades and has taken possession of Irena Dubrovna’s body.
    She is going to Kiev Ukraine as an ally of Putin and will be using Irena Dubrovna’s body to turn into a black panther to rip apart bodies of Ukrainians because the demon Moloch appearing as Saint Michael the Archangel has told Vladimir Putin that it’s the right thing to do.”

    “How horrifying,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds made the Sign of the Cross.

    Father Aidan’s making the Sign of the Cross caused a Calvinist street preacher standing on the sidewalk outside the vicarage to drop dead.

    “The thing is,” Amadeus scratched his head, “I always thought the 1942 film The Cat People starring Simone Simon was a work of fiction. I didn’t think it was based on a real incident and I didn’t think Irena Dubrovna was a real actual person.”

    “Well, it turns out,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds checked out a passage in the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work (written before he died) Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film, “that there really was an Irena Dubrovna in the late 1930s and that what happened in the film was true.”

    “Wow,” Amadeus Emanon walked over to the refrigerator and brought out the entire plate of gingerbread men cookies that he then started eating, “Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that there really was a werewolf called Larry Talbot and that the classic 1941 Universal Pictures monster horror film called The Wolfman that starred Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains and Evelyn Ankers was based on something that actually happened in real life.”

    “Well, actually,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds cleared his throat, “I can tell you that Larry Talbot did actually exist and what happened in the 1941 film The Wolfman was true and I don’t need to consult the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film to determine that. For it turns out my grandfather the Anglican clergyman Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds was the curate of Saint Magloire’s Church in Llanwelly Wales near Talbot Castle at the time Larry Talbot arrived in the village to flirt with Gwen Conliffe the daughter of the village antique shop owner and to get bitten by Bela the gypsy fortune telling werewolf.”

    “Really?” Amadeus paused in the middle of eating his 6th gingerbread man cookie.

    “Yes,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded, “As an interesting postscript to the film which ended with Larry Talbot getting killed by his own wolf’s head silver cane walking stick wielded by Larry’s father Sir John Talbot, the Talbot Castle game keeper Frank Andrews (played by actor Patric Knowles in the film), who was Gwen Conliffe’s fiance, ended up getting killed by a wererabbit bunny rabbit that had apparently been originally bitten by Larry Talbot. After the Saint Magloire’s Church exorcism team made Welsh rarebit out of the Welsh wererabbit, after an appropriate period of mourning for the late departed Mr. Andrews, Gwen Conliffe ended up marrying the young curate Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds. So Gwen Conliffe is actually my grandmother.”

    “Holy fuck,” Amadeus Emanon commented.

    Mrs. Lancaster came down the stairs and washed Amadeus Emanon’s mouth out with soap.

    . . .

    Outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the 10 Downing Street cat was chasing away the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and his spectral black horse.

    Inside 10 Downing Street, former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to convince current British Prime Minister Liz Truss to hire a witch doctor or shaman to raise the famous Wolfman werewolf Larry Talbot from the dead in the Llanwelly Village Cemetery in Wales and send him to eastern Ukraine to eat and devour Russian soldiers.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday October 12th
    2022.

    Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) among the gypsies

    Permalink 10 Comments

    Semiramis At CERN While The Spear of Destiny Goes Missing

    September 29, 2022 at 10:22 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    Semiramis The Queen of Babylon poses for a photo back in the early 1940s

    Semiramis the queen of the City of Babel was standing outside the entrance to the tunnel of the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland.

    The statue of Shiva the Destroyer outside the tunnel came to life and started dancing with Semiramis.

    They danced to the 1st Movement of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata that was being performed by holographic images of Andre Rieu and His Johann Strauss Orchestra.

    When the 1st Movement was over, Shiva went back up on top of his pedestal and became a statue again.

    Semiramis, on the other hand, still dressed in an elegant evening gown, crawled into the pilot cockpit of an old World War I scarlet Fokker Triplane and flew to Kiev.

    “That was my ex-wife,” Nimrod the little green frog mentioned to the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus as they walked by.

    “I know,” Asmodeus lit his 666th cigarette of the day.

    Nimrod the little green frog had been Nimrod “the mighty hunter against the Lord” in the Book of Genesis and the builder of the Tower of Babel.

    Somehow his body had been found aboard a UFO that had crashed in Arctic Ocean waters just slightly north of Tuktoyaktuk, Northwest Territories, Canada.

    His body had been found next to the bodies of dead ET grays.

    Nimrod’s body had been taken to DARPA headquarters in the U.S. where it had been dethawed.

    The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith had flown to DARPA headquarters and stolen Nimrod’s body.

    She tried to revive Nimrod by kissing him with a magic potion that she had put on her lips.

    Nimrod the prince of Babel had been revived but he had been turned into a little green frog as a result of the faulty magic potion on her lips.

    “So what’s happened?” Nimrod asked as he licked a black fly ice cream cone.

    “Well there have been four leaks on the Russian Nord stream gas pipelines in the Baltic Sea,” Asmodeus switched over to a vaper because Asclepius the ancient Greek god of medicine had recommended that he cut down on cigarette smoking.

    “What caused those leaks?” Nimrod asked.

    “Well according to the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles whom I ran into at a cigarette and magazine stand in Rome, the Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele who has been the Science and Research Director of the American CIA since 1950 ordered their sabotage,” Asmodeus lit his vaper with his lighter.

    “Is he telling the truth?” Nimrod finished his cone.

    “It’s hard to tell with fallen angels,” Asmodeus burnt his fingers on the lit end of the vaper.

    . . .

    The curator of the Hofburg Treasure House in the Hofburg Palace in Vienna Austria had just been informed that the Spear of Destiny aka the Spear of Longinus (the lance said to have pierced the side of Christ) had been stolen.

    The Spear of Destiny had been seized by Hitler when he took over the city of Vienna in the Anschluss of March 1938.

    In the final days of the Third Reich, it wound up in the hands of the Americans and eventually came into the possession of Gen. George S. Patton who returned it to the Hofburg Museum.

    “What nation,” the Hofburg Treasure House curator wondered, “had now stolen the Spear of Destiny?”.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday September 29th
    2022.

    Permalink 23 Comments

    Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions

    September 28, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.

    Even though he had no official background in science.

    He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.

    Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.

    Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.

    For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.

    While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.

    Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.

    However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.

    The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.

    The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.

    The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.

    The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.

    He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.

    The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.

    Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.

    Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.

    The poor sasquatch being dead could not.

    Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.

    For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.

    Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.

    He was not to be the number one speaker however.

    He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).

    The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).

    The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.

    The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.

    The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.

    Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

    Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.

    He: Yes.

    Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.

    Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

    However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.

    Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.

    The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

    The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.

    Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.

    He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.

    Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.

    The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).

    The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.

    It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.

    The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.

    In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday September 28th
    2022.

    Permalink 27 Comments

    Baal In Kazakhstan

    September 13, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    The demon Baal in Kazakhstan

    The ghost of Cecil B. DeMille had taken a technicolour photo of the demon Baal in Kazakhstan.

    The demon Baal was the object of veneration and worship at a human sacrifice ceremony at a site just north of the Kazakh capital of Astana (now called Nur-Sultan).

    Due to his bum knee, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) was unable to attend the ceremony in hopes of improving ecumenical relations with all religions and all deities.

    A backdrop choreographer for the U.S. Democratic Party was present to get ideas for Joe Biden’s next major speech.

    He was the same choreographer who had done the Nazi colours blood red backdrop for Biden’s speech in Philadelphia back on September 1st of this year 2022.

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman was a member of the Vatican entourage accompanying Francis to this Inter-Faith Summit in Astana.

    Cardinal Salaman was examining the Cecil B. DeMille technicolour photograph alongside South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

    Hyung had spent the day locating evil vampires and vampiresses (who were attending the summit) in their coffins and beheading them and staking them through the heart.

    She was to vampires and vampiresses what the Covid-19 vaccines were to previously healthy and strong young athletes (they were all dropping dead on the spot as a result).

    “So,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman sipped his tea, “I understand you’re a direct descendant of the immortal princess Kwan Yin.”

    “That is correct,” Hyung nodded.

    “And she’s venerated as the goddess of mercy by various branches of Buddhism,” the Cardinal helped himself to a mooncake.

    “Yes, that’s true,” Hyung said, “My ancestress is immortal (having drunk from springs of immortality from a certain mountain in a certain valley in China) but she doesn’t consider herself a goddess although others do.”

    “As opposed to George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab who all consider themselves gods even though others don’t,” Samhain mused aloud.

    “Yes, very true,” Hyung poured more tea.

    “You know I know nothing whatsoever about most religions except a smattering of some knowledge of kabbalah,” Cardinal Salaman explained, “Which is why Pope Francis had me baptised, then confirmed, then ordained a deacon, then ordained a priest, then consecrated a bishop and then created a Cardinal all on the same day.”

    “I see,” Hyung smiled at the admission.

    “So, tell me,” the Cardinal once again took a close look at the ghost of Cecil B. DeMille’s technicolour photograph of the demon Baal, “Are Baal and Moloch one and the same god?”.

    “Many theologians and professors of Classical Middle Eastern History seem to think so,” the scholarly vampire huntress answered, “but in fact Baal and Moloch are demonic twin brothers.”

    “There are twins among demons?” Cardinal Salaman was surprised.

    “A few, yes,” Hyung nodded.

    “So, is Moloch in Kazakhstan as well?” The Cardinal inquired.

    “No, he’s in Moscow serving as an advisor to Russian President Vladimir Putin,” the vampire huntress answered.

    “Really?” Salaman helped himself to another mooncake.

    “Although Moloch is posing as the Archangel Michael to Putin,” Hyung explained, “so Putin thinks he was following Saint Michael the Archangel’s advice when he invaded Ukraine in February to capture the capital of Kyiv and then the rest of Ukraine ”

    “Now I may not know too much religion especially Catholicism,” The Cardinal took another sip of tea, “but I do know that Saint Michael the Archangel is considered one of the Patron Saints of the City of Kyiv. Did Putin really think that Michael would ask him to invade and conquer a city of which he’s a Patron Saint?”.

    “Well, I don’t think Putin really knows much about Ukrainian history and culture and tradition,” Hyung answered.

    “In that he’s a lot like the late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin,” Salaman noted.

    “In fairness to Putin,” Hyung pointed out, “He only followed Moloch because Moloch was posing as Saint Michael the Archangel. Whereas Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden and most U.S. Democrats follow the demons Baal and Baphomet even though Baal and Baphomet are appearing as themselves Baal and Baphomet.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday September 13th
    2022.

    Permalink 28 Comments

    Next page »