Pan Goatee and The Disembodied Image On The Basilica

December 8, 2019 at 11:50 pm (Aesthetics, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee and The Disembodied Image On The Basilica

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was thinking about how well his guillotine boomerang invention worked.

He first tried it a couple of days ago.

The guillotine boomerang he had picked up in a 2nd hand shop and it had been sold as a definitely not rare Ernievarius violin from Australia.

The original Ernievarius violin inventor named Uncle Ernie had in fact intended the violin (made out of rubber tires) to serve as a rubber boomerang designed to be extremely user friendly (in other words idiots could use it) so that Australian white guys (who had never quite grasped both the concept and the aerodynamics of the wooden boomerang invented by Australian aborigines) could use it.

But Uncle Ernie’s rubber boomerang had in fact failed its test as a boomerang.

However it turned out to be a highly successful violin designed for those musicians who had to travel long distances in their cars and needed more than one spare tire.

Pan Goatee with his innate Greek satyr wisdom managed to turn the Ernievarius into its original purpose- that of a rubber boomerang.

He had been taking the garbage out a few days ago when he noticed an ugly looking girl walking down the other side of the street.

Goatee happened to have the guillotine boomerang (Ernievarius violin with an attached guillotine blade -also bought in a 2nd hand store- and one that had been personally autographed by Maximilien Robespierre) with him.

So Goatee hurled the guillotine boomerang at the ugly looking disgrace to humanity and cut her head off.

The guillotine boomerang came with a recorded voice- the voice of Britain’s John Cleese saying, “My God but you’re ugly”- just before it cut the ugly looking creature’s head off.

The guillotine boomerang then returned to Goatee’s medieval knight’s metallic armoured glove.

Today Goatee was out walking.

He had of course left the guillotine boomerang at home but he had brought his trusty laser astral machete with him.

He happened to walk past a bus stop where an ugly looking woman stood there with an airport suitcase at her side.

“You no doubt would be a hazard to flying,” Goatee commented as he cut her head off.

As he continued on, he hoped that other passengers and crew on that flight would write him notes of thanks for sparing them the unhappiness of an agonizing flight riding in a plane with such an uglo.

He walked around several blocks and then was walking up a path that led to both a public library and a shopping centre at the end of the trail.

He was approached by an ugly looking woman walking along the path.

“Didn’t you see that sign along the path that said NO TWO LEGGED DOGS ALLOWED! ?” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the reading comprehension challenged uglo.

As Goatee walked along, he wondered if comedian Jimmy Fallon would ever portray him Pan Goatee on Saturday Night Live since Fallon had recently portrayed Justin Trudeau making fun of Donald Trump on the legendary TV program.

. . .

Cerberus the three-headed dog of the Underworld realm of Hades was on his lunch break.

For lunch, he was eating three large king sized medium well done steaks.

The steaks were made from real beef and were not vegan plant based.

That’s because they weren’t really worried about the hazards of climate change in the Underworld since what they called global warming on the earth above had already been happening down here for several millennia.

When he had finished eating, Cerberus still had some time to kill so he went around singing a Latin language version of that old Patti Page song How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

He text messaged with audio the song performed by all 3 heads to J.K. Rowling to determine whether the Latin pronunciation and grammar was impeccable.

It turned out it was.

Cerberus happily wagged all 3 of his tails.

As he walked back to underworld sentry guard dog duty, Cerberus passed by the ghost of the late former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke.

Hawke was tied face down to a barbecue where his face had become a possible visual testimony for a commercial about the hazards of not using sunscreen while strolling across the desert.

Cerberus had recently watched a BCC News Story about how Hawke back in 1983 had told his daughter Rosslyn not to press sexual assault charges against Bill Landeryou a fellow MP in Hawke’s Australian Labour Party.

According to an affidavit Rosslyn said she had been sexually assaulted 3 times in 1983 while working in Landeryou’s office.

After the 3rd sexual assault, Rosslyn had approached her father Bob Hawke and said she wanted to go to the police to report it and press charges against Landeryou.

Hawke responded by saying, “You can’t. I can’t have any controversies right now. I am sorry but I am challenging for the leadership of the Labour Party.”

Hawke’s parliamentary colleague Bill Landeryou was likewise down in Tartarus and tied face down to a barbecue.

Every morning, noon and nighttime too, Landeryou was sodomized in the rear end by a gay Cyclops named Pansyianapolis who sported a 90 foot phallus.

As for Hawke, he was sodomized every morning, noon and nighttime too by a gay centaur sporting a 9 foot phallus.

Hawke was always told by the gay centaur not to tell anyone as this might affect the gay centaur’s chances of being elected Prime Minister of Hades.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man and detective they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was walking down the streets of the Eternal City of Rome.

He had been informed that people in Rome were being attacked and burnt at night by the flaming disembodied head of a silver haired Jesuit priest with a hooked nose.

Whitstable looked in the direction of the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica and there on the dome was a large visual image of the flaming head of a Jesuit priest with a hooked nose.

A group of sinister looking flying gargoyles gathered in front of the dome of Saint Peter’s and cried, “Hail Teilhard!”.

The disembodied head opened its flaming mouth and spoke, “All must worship me.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday December 8th
2019.

Permalink 14 Comments

Canada’s Throne Speech and Krampus Carries Off Vienna’s Cardinal Schonborn

December 5, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Canada’s Throne Speech and Krampus Carries Off Vienna’s Cardinal Schonborn

“So,” Amadeus asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “Did you hear that after Justin Trudeau had finished making fun of Donald Trump at the Buckingham Palace reception the other night, he grabbed a box of opium laced catnip, came out to the Set Estate, gave the opium laced catnip to the Boss’ guard and watch cat Nefertiti Galore to send her off to La-La-Land and then proceeded to engage in mystical communion with the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever?”.

“I heard that,” Renfield acknowledged after he watched the garbage men sanitation engineers getting high after emptying the garbage cans containing Nefertiti Galore’s cat litter.

“I assume that Justin then probably met his alien friend Gali-Gula the ET gray from Planet Nibiru who’s possessed by the spirit of the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula?” Amadeus ate his toast.

“Harvey Tallbanger tells me that he did,” Renfield nodded, “Gali-Gula helped Trudeau write the Canadian Governor-General’s Speech From The Throne which was read today at the opening of the new session of the Canadian Parliament in Ottawa.”

Amadeus read from the Canadian throne speech on his laptop the following words, “We all share the same space/time continuum on the same planetary spaceship.”

“I think Justin was not the only one inhaling Strawberry Fields Forever’s exhaled pot smoke,” Renfield remarked, “Gali-Gula must have imbibed a great deal as well to pen that whopper of a line.”

“Moving on to another subject,” Amadeus read to Renfield the following news item, “It was announced this past December 3rd that Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen who was 20th Century America’s greatest Roman Catholic evangelist and preacher has had his beatification ceremony postponed. He was supposed to be beatified this coming December 21st but the ceremony has been postponed. Apparently the first time in Church history that a beatification ceremony has been postponed. What’s up with that?”.

“Apparently certain members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops objected to Sheen being beatified,” Renfield replied.

“Why would they object to Sheen being beatified?” Amadeus inquired.

“Because Sheen was a staunch anti-Communist and what’s more he was truly intellectual and scholarly in his anti-Communism unlike most members of the John Birch Society. Therefore true Communists detested Sheen even more than they did the John Birch Society whom they just regarded as a bunch of “proletarian deplorables”. An elitist attitude still shared by 21st Century female Marxist candidates for President.”

“You’re saying certain members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops are Communists?” Amadeus was shocked.

“Yes, either Communist or predatory homosexual (who sexually assault altar boys and young seminarians) or both,” Renfield nodded, “Sheen did not get along well with the predatory homosexual Archbishop of New York City Francis Cardinal Spellman. Hence Spellman’s modern day disciples among the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops can’t stand Sheen either.”

“Wow,” Amadeus shook his head.

“Elizabeth Scalia an airheaded associate of the ludicrous Bishop Robert Barron who thinks Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot are in Heaven since there’s nobody in Hell according to his Dare We Hope That All Are Saved? Theology (both Jesus of Nazareth and Raymond Red Reddington of The Blacklist could easily tell him “No.”) tried to say that Sheen himself was gay by calling him a “flouncy” in one of her Twitter tweets. She obviously never saw the episode of What’s My Line? where Archbishop Sheen as a guest easily charmed the women panelists. Most women can easily tell whether a man is gay or not unless of course they’re as stupid as Elizabeth Scalia.”

“Who’s leading the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops’ charge against Bishop Sheen’s beatification?” Amadeus inquired.

“The spirit of Antichrist filled Archbishop of New York City Timothy Cardinal Dolan and the spirit of Antichrist filled Archbishop of Chicago Blaise Cardinal Cupich,” Renfield answered, “The usual suspects.”

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was walking the streets of Vienna the Austrian capital.

He stood in front of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna where recently a Baphomet worshipping music and dance concert was held there with the permission of Christoph Cardinal Schonborn the Archbishop of Vienna.

As Whitstable stood there, he suddenly noticed Cardinal Schonborn himself walking down the street.

Suddenly Krampus the infamous half-goat half demon who used to follow around the saintly bishop Saint Nicholas came down the street.

Krampus was carrying his bag full of naughty individuals he was taking to Hell on this Krampusnacht (the evening of December 5th- the night before the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas which was December 6th).

Krampus picked up Cardinal Schonborn with his hairy arms and threw him into his bag.

He then went down a sewer no doubt on his way to Hell.

Whitstable bought himself a candy cane from a street corner Santa Claus.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 5th
2019.


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec singing at a concert hall in Vienna while outside in the streets, Krampus is carrying Vienna’s screaming Archbishop Cardinal Schonborn in a bag on his way to Hell.

Permalink 4 Comments

Pachamama In The Tiber

December 1, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pachamama In The Tiber

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama was floating down the Tiber River

“I thought all the Pachamamas were rescued from the Tiber River back in late October,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman mentioned to Pope Francis.

“The authorities must have missed one,” Pope Francis had to admit as the pair walked along the banks of the Tiber River.

The pontiff’s Huawei smart phone went off.

It was a phone call from George Soros.

Francis blabbed for a few minutes while Cardinal Salaman watched Pachamama swim to shore.

As the Inca goddess exited the Tiber, Francis’ Huawei went off again.

American economist Jeffrey Sachs joined the conversation.

Cardinal Salaman watched Pachamama enter a Rolls-Royce limousine.

“Unless that Rolls-Royce is an extremely rare electric model that doesn’t run on fossil fuels, I don’t think it’s very climate friendly,” Cardinal Salaman thought to himself.

Bono then joined the party line conversation with Pope Francis followed a few moments later by Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of The UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

Cardinal Salaman left Francis to yack with his globalist friends as he went to find himself a nice taverna where he could buy a nice glass of red wine.

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders from the U.S. and former Bolivian President Evo Morales (currently living in exile in Mexico) joined the phone conversation as well as with Pope Francis and the others.

Seeing as how it was a Huawei mobile that Francis was yacking into, the entire conversation was being monitored by the People’s Republic of China Ministry of State Security.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday December 1st
2019.

Permalink 4 Comments

Tsucol

November 20, 2019 at 11:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

Tsucol 

Tsucol was the alien’s name.

Kept in a tank at Nevada’s mysterious Area 51, it slept.

It had been sleeping since it was found at the top of a mesa in Arizona back in 1973. 

It slept and was watched by its U.S. Air Force captors. 

Now it had awakened.

And the giant green winged insect looking creature spit out a silver tongue melting the tank in which it slept.

It then hopped.

Hopped in the manner of a frog.

And hopped with such power, it was gone far away.

In a Hopi village in Arizona, a Hopi elder awakened from his sleep.

“What is it, grandfather?” His granddaughter asked when he came out of his bedroom and sat in the living room.

“Tsucol has awakened,” the elder replied.

“Tsucol?” His granddaughter looked surprised, “But I thought that was just a myth.”

“Tsucol is very much real,” the elder said in hushed tones, “it had slept on a mesa not far from here for centuries. Then back in 1973, it was found by the U.S. Geological Survey and Tsucol’s sleeping body was taken away by the U.S. Air Force to its installation at Area 51.”

“And you saw a vision that it has awakened, Grandfather?” The girl asked.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“I wonder what would have caused it to awaken,” the girl looked out the window and suddenly noticed that what had been a perfectly clear night had clouded over with huge menacingly dark clouds.

“At a meeting of the Council this past Sunday, another elder told me that some stranger had cut off a slice of the sacred cactus Sutcac last Friday,” her grandfather answered, “and it reminded me of something my own grandfather once said to me, that it was Sutcac intact that prevented Tsucol from awakening. I had never mentioned that story to the rest of the council because it never occurred to me that someone would be so stupid as to cut off a slice of a cactus. I should have realized that in the times we are living in, now is the time.”

A rare lightning bolt struck the ground of the Arizona desert.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 20th
2019.

Permalink 6 Comments

Allatallahbel Tries To Make A Vamp Out of A Cardinal

November 17, 2019 at 11:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Allatallahbel Tries To Make A Vamp Out of A Cardinal

The Vampiress Allatallahbel sat at the edge of one of the old lion cheering fan stands in the Roman Colosseum.

A Vatican Cardinal named Samhain Cardinal Salaman approached Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.

“I got your message for me to be here, your Sinisterness,” Cardinal Salaman addressed the vampiress priestess.

“Nice of you to come, your Eminence,” the vampiress bit him on the neck and drained him of almost all his blood.

She then walked away.

Lenora the Dragon Warrioress Princess of Lemuria entered the colosseum with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“Was that not the statue of the god Moloch at the entrance to the colosseum?” Lenora asked Van Helsing.

“It was,” Van Helsing nodded, “That god of the ancient Canaanites, Phoenicians and Carthaginians on prominent display at the colosseum must have the Roman general Scipio Africanus rolling over in his grave.”

“So Dr. Cadbury Rocher text messaged you that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of something awful happening to one of the few non-homosexual predatory and pedophile Vatican Cardinals here?” Lenora queried.

“That is correct,” Van Helsing answered.

“Well there appears to be someone dressed in Cardinal’s robes lying on one of the steps there,” Lenora ran over to the man.

Van Helsing joined her and felt the Cardinal’s pulse.

He also noticed the vampiric bite on the Cardinal’s neck.

The vampire hunter called an ambulance.

Paramedics and ambulance soon arrived on the scene and rushed Samhain Cardinal Salaman to hospital.

“Do you think he’ll live?” Lenora asked.

“I hope so,” Van Helsing replied.

Vampire hunter and Dragon Warrioress Princess returned to their hotel and dressed for a concert in Rome.

The performer at the concert was Lenora herself who played pieces by Bach, Handel and Vivaldi on her violin.

“What beautiful music that instrument makes,” the Australian Ambassador to Italy remarked to his wife, “It certainly sounds a lot better than that Ernievarius that violin made out of rubber tires that some character called Uncle Ernie played in concert with the Sydney Philharmonic Orchestra back home.”

“Still I must admit it was hilariously funny watching that Uncle Ernie get arrested live on stage by Sydney Police during the second act for his improper conduct that he conducted in the orchestra pit during intermission,” his wife noted.

“That,” the Ambassador agreed, “was hilariously funny.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 17th
2019.

Permalink 6 Comments

The Disembodied Head At CERN

November 16, 2019 at 11:50 pm (Horror, Science-Fiction, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

The Disembodied Head At CERN

Inside the CERN Large Hadron collider, scientists watched in horror as the disembodied head of a silver haired Jesuit priest with a hook nose floated in mid-air on their screens (showing the tunnel) in their computer room.

The head which was surrounded by roaring flames suddenly opened its mouth and an enormous black raven flew out of the mouth and attacked one of the scientists pecking out both of the scientist’s eyes.

“Well, I guess you won’t have to worry about keeping your appointment with your optometrist next week,” the scientist (next to the screaming individual with no eyes) remarked.

The head opened its mouth again and a giant black cat emerged and ripped the heart out of the scientist who made the remark about the appointment.

The Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl appeared and ate the heart.

“Does this mean we’ve finally been successful at opening the door to another dimension?” A scientist (who had not yet been attacked by objects jumping out of the disembodied head’s mouth) commented.

The disembodied priest’s head once more opened its mouth and a fierce looking red dragon flew out.

The dragon turned into a beautiful exotic looking woman who ate the other dimension seeking scientist with her teeth.

The 4th (and sole remaining) scientist in the room thought he better get to Hell out of there.

Before he did so, he took some photos of the disembodied priest’s head with his smart phone.

He left the room locking it behind him.

The room burst into flames with a fiery breath from the disembodied Jesuit priest’s mouth.

Later at home, the last survivor of the evening shift quartet at that particular lab at CERN used the facial recognition app on his computer to try to identify who the disembodied head of the silver haired Jesuit priest with the hook nose belonged to.

He discovered the disembodied head belonged to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin a French Jesuit priest and paleontologist noted for being involved in discovering Piltdown Man (later acknowledged as an evolutionary hoax) and Peking Man (whose bones became lost during World War II and quite conveniently after other evolutionary scientists besides Teilhard and his associates expressed interest in examining them).

Teilhard was also responsible for formulating the ideas of the Omega Point and Noosphere.

The Jesuit priest died on Easter Sunday 1955 in New York City.

Teilhard’s theological teachings were often cited by Pope Francis in his 2015 encyclical Laudato si.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Saturday November 16th
2019.

Permalink 10 Comments

Moloch, Hillary Clinton and Carthage

November 12, 2019 at 11:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Moloch, Hillary Clinton and Carthage

The city of Rome was hosting an exhibit to its once great ancient rival Carthage.

The exhibit is called Carthago: The Immortal Myth.

As part of the exhibit, the statue of Moloch who was worshipped as a god by the Canaanites, the Phoenicians and the Carthaginians was placed at the entrance to Rome’s Colosseum as part of the exhibition.

During the witching hour, some people reported seeing the ghost of Nero playing his violin while ghostly lions roared around the Colosseum and Hannibal’s ghost sat in the stands ordering giant bags of spectral popcorn and peanuts for his ghostly elephants.

The Moloch statue itself, as noted by the ghost of the great Carthaginian general Hannibal, wasn’t an exact replica of the statue worshipped by the Carthaginians.

Rather it was a replica of the statue of Moloch as it appeared in the 1914 Italian silent film Cabiria.

At the statue’s unveiling back in September, there were reports that the ghost of Charlie Chaplin (in a revisiting of his role of the Little Tramp in the 1931 film City Lights) was found sleeping on the Moloch statue’s lap when it was unveiled.

Hillary Clinton, who was currently visiting the United Kingdom, briefly flew in to Rome on her broomstick to pay homage to the god Moloch.

The former Secretary of State threw a bag of Russian rubles on to the ancient god’s lap and made 3 wishes.

She then flew back to London where she appeared on a British news show and denounced the British government for not releasing a report into Russian interference in British elections prior to the upcoming December 12th UK General Election.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield who sat on the British House of Commons Foreign Affairs and Intelligence Committee was then invited on to the show to rebut Ms. Clinton’s charges.

“If we release the report prior to the election,” said Renfield, “then Putin and his officials will know how much we know about the extent of their operations and will change their tactics prior to the December 12th election and we will be left scrambling to find out what they’re up to. Ms. Clinton in making her demands for the report’s release at this stage is showing herself to be almost as stupid as Donald Trump is.”

Ms. Clinton foamed at the mouth that she had never been so insulted in all her life to which Renfield replied that she should really get out more often.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 12th
2019.

Permalink 15 Comments

Evo Morales Resignation or One Night In Bolivia Minus Karl and The Marx Brothers

November 10, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Evo Morales Resignation or One Night In Bolivia Minus Karl and The Marx Brothers

Bolivian President Evo Morales has resigned today.

The resignation followed weeks of protests after his disputed re-election last month.

On the night of the October 20th Bolivian Presidential election, the results count was inexplicably stopped for 24 hours.

When the so-called final result was announced the next night, it gave Señor Morales more than the 10% lead over his nearest opponent for him to be declared the outright winner in the first round of the race.

His opponent and his supporters disputed the results citing irregularities with the vote.

Today auditors with the Organization of American States which had monitored the elections said it had found evidence of wide-spread data manipulations and could not certify the results of the poll.

Hillary Clinton was unavailable in Bolivia to blame the whole thing on Russian assets.

It was a call by the Bolivian Army Chief General Williams Kaliman today that finally convinced Morales to resign.

Behind the scenes however, Evo Morales was expecting supernatural intervention to keep him in power.

The ancient Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama had blessed some soil and grasses in the Vatican Gardens at a female shaman led invocation ceremony for the goddess on Friday October 4th last month in which Pope Francis had participated and gave his papal blessing.

A few years back during a papal visit to Bolivia, President Evo Morales had given Francis a Crucifix which showed Christ nailed to a Soviet style hammer and sickle.

Now Francis would return the favour by getting Pachamama to keep Morales in power.

Soil and grass was blessed by Pachamama at the Vatican Gardens on Friday October 4th.

A group of Communist Cardinals and bishops had signed a new Pact of the Catacombs in the Catacombs of Domitilla on Sunday October 20th of last month (the same date as the first round of the Bolivian Presidential election) in which they had invoked the blessings of Pachamama on the pact they called the Pact of The Catacombs For The Common Home.

The next day a group of Catholic traditionalists had gone into the Church of Santa Maria In Traspontina (where the papal and shaman and Inca goddess blessed) Vatican Gardens Pachamama statues were located and took them out of the Church and cast them off a bridge into the Tiber River.

To add insult to injury, the men never even bothered to throw in bottles of the variety of environmentally friendly shampoo that was Pachamama’s favourite so she could have at least shampooed her hair as she floated down the river.

But on Sunday October 27th the goddess blessed Pachamama grasses and soil were put in a planter pot and given to Pope Francis to be presented as a gift along with the Communion bread and wine on the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica at the closing Mass of the Amazon Synod.

On Monday October 28th a pact was signed between the Vatican and the United Nations to establish a one world government by the year 2030.

Present at the signing were U2 singer Bono and economist Jeffrey Sachs.

Pope Francis gave the planter pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil to Bono.

Morales was hoping that the planter pot would eventually wind up in his possession.

However thanks to a blabber mouth headless horseman and his tap dancing horse, a copy of the Pact of The Catacombs For A Common Home eventually found its way into the hands of the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

And as for the planter pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil, an Irish cow guided by an Irish leprechaun visited the Bono estate in Ireland with the said cow eating the plants and the said leprechaun vacuuming up the soil.

This incident which happened this past Friday night November 8th sent Pachamama into a deep state of depression which not even a combination of herbal tea and Saint John’s Wort was able to fix.

As such Pachamama was in no condition to impart her goddess blessings on Evo Morales when he really needed them.

As such he was forced to resign.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday November 10th
2019.

Even a combination of herbal tea and Saint John’s Wort wasn’t enough to get Pachamama to sing away those Irish cow ate my grasses and Irish leprechaun vacuumed up my soil blues.

Permalink 2 Comments

Witch Hazel On All Souls Day

November 2, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Witch Hazel On All Souls Day

Down in Mexico, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was marking Dias de los Muertos by beheading various notorious drug dealers making them join the ranks of the dead.

The beheading spectacle was pissing off Santa Muerte the self-proclaimed patron saint of drug dealers.

Qonzilqointec’s approach to dealing with drug dealers was not something that was done by American agencies who seemed to operate in a Pope Francis anti-capital punishment limp wristed pansy style fashion when it came to dealing with the problem.

Which is why America was losing the War on Drugs.

Over a year ago, British MP Renfield R. Renfield had conducted a one man commando raid down in Mexico in which he had dismembered and beheaded the entire membership of a drug trafficking gang who called themselves the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

If Renfield’s action had been emulated by American agencies, it might not be necessary for the U.S. to build a wall as was proposed by a certain toupee wearing bozo in the Oval Office since those who would be coming north of the border would be those families in search of a better life for themselves instead of drug dealers seeking to maximize their profits on American streets.

. . .

In Washington DC, Donald Trump had tweeted a tweet,

@realDonaldTrump Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is a great guy. Wonderful guy. Very highly intelligent guy. Said in recent interview that I’m America’s best President. Very astute and sound judgement.

. . .

Meanwhile in London, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was riding his horse Bucephalus Reborn through a London park in search of his jack o’ lantern pumpkin head.

His head had been blown off in a terrific wind storm that had hit central London this past Wednesday night.

The Headless Horseman did manage to borrow a new jack o’ lantern pumpkin head from the kitchen of the Saint James Court Hotel where he was staying this past Halloween night but still he missed his old head.

His old jack o’ lantern pumpkin head had been autographed at the back by Scottish actor Sir Sean Connery.

So now he had been hoping to see if his head had blown into this particular park.

He came across London’s famous Witch Hazel who was holding his head:

After Buchephalus Reborn had performed the old Irish Rovers jig Dance of The Sugarplum Fairies at Witch Hazel’s request, Witch Hazel returned the head to the Headless Horseman.

Off rode Friedrich with his favourite head on his shoulders again as the back of the jack o’ lantern pumpkin told passers-by, “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Saturday November 2nd 
2019.

Permalink 2 Comments

The Headless Horseman’s Halloween

October 31, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Headless Horseman’s Halloween

Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was sitting in a booth in the lounge in the Saint James Court Hotel in London along with his zombie black horse Bucephalus Reborn.

Both had managed to escape last night from the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s pet attack cat Nefertiti Galore by running down a back alley.

The alley was then blown up by an Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi impersonator who whimpered like a dog and then detonated a suicide vest.

Nefertiti Galore managed to dodge the falling rubble and then went around the corner and had a plate of Fish and Chips at a nearby Fish and Chips shop.

The Headless Horseman and his horse went from the back alley (now blocked by rubble at the street entrance) through the back door of a professional live theatre where they joined the cast of Shakespeare’s Richard III in taking a bow and a curtain call at the end of their performance.

One of the actresses remarked to the actor who played Richard III, “It looks like your horse arrived a little too late.”

The actor who played Richard III remarked to the Headless Horseman, “I’d have given you my kingdom if you had arrived a little sooner.”

The impromptu remarks were met with vigorous applause from the audience.

The Headless Horseman and Bucephalus Reborn then walked to the Saint James Court Hotel where they had booked a room for a couple of nights.

Now they were spending Halloween having drinks in the lounge and dancing with costumed patrons.

Someone dressed as a Vatican Cardinal entered the lounge.

“Authentic costume,” remarked the Headless Horseman who had borrowed a jack o’ lantern pumpkin from the hotel kitchen and put it on his shoulders so he could see.

“I really am a Vatican Cardinal,” answered Samhain Cardinal Salaman, “My flight to the Irish border has been delayed. I was supposed to perform the ancient Celtic Druidic Mass of Samhain this evening on the Irish border between north and south between 11:30 PM and 11:59 PM to forever bind the United Kingdom to the European Union so the whole continent can be under the Egyptian god Osiris when he becomes Pharaoh of the coming United States of Europe. Osiris, Maitreya the Himalayan serpent and golden cobra High King of Ireland are expecting me as are the demons Baal and Baphomet, the High Queen of Ireland who is the resurrected Egyptian Queen Cleopatra and no doubt Yaldabaoth the infamous intoxicated leprechaun who sleeps on the border.”

“Wow, well sit down and have a drink and drown your sorrows,” Friedrich ordered him a drink.

Buchephalus Reborn managed to drink both the Headless Horseman and the Vatican Cardinal under the table.

The Vatican Cardinal missed his next available flight.

And so the Celtic Druidic Mass was not said.

Allowing Britain a brief reprieve from the coming United States of Europe.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday October 31st
2019.

One of the many beautiful women in the Saint James Court Hotel Lounge lucky enough to dance with the horse Bucephalus Reborn.

Permalink 14 Comments

Next page »