Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and The Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

May 26, 2018 at 10:10 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and the Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

After Donald Trump threw a temper tantrum and pulled red spider monkeys out of his hair and cancelled the June 12th Singapore Peace Summit in an announcement this past Thursday May 24th, Kwan Yin the Asian Buddhist goddess of mercy had asked Thoth the Egyptian god of wisdom, the moon and magic along with his immortal formerly mortal companion Serena the Time Traveler to go to the Underworld realm of Hades and ask the entity Hades (known to the Romans as Pluto) to release the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles from Purgatory.

In the past, Hades normally had to consult with the earthly Pope of Rome before he could do such things but since the current Pope Francis no longer believed in Purgatory (or even Hell for that matter), he was able to immediately accede to Kwan Yin’s request.

The ghost of Orson Welles left Hades saying, “Paul Masson will sell no wine 🍷 before its time but Hades will release my ghost before my time.”

Thoth and Serena escorted Welles to the DMZ (demilitarized zone) on the Korean Peninsula where Kwan Yin gave Welles a deadline of 48 hours to arrange a surprise “Hollywood” style summit between North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Welles never followed deadlines much in his mortal life (which is why most American film studios in Hollywood became reluctant to work with him) but what he had failed to do in life, he achieved in death.

The surprise summit happened today Saturday May 26th 2018.

Also present at the surprise summit were Kwan Yin herself as well as the Chinese Communist vampiress Meiling Manchu (who had recently broken with Chinese President Xi Jinping on the grounds he had become a Mao like cult leader and total totalitarian despot) and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Kim and Moon agreed to carry on talks for a planned Singapore Peace Summit between Trump and Kim on June 12th.

Meiling and Qonzilqointec were to go to the White House in Washington DC and hold down the Trumpster while the immortal London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes tomatoed the toupee wearing blowhard’s buttocks with her whip until he agreed to go to the summit as planned.

When Moon and Kim finished their meeting, Orson Welles asked Kwan Yin if it would not be possible for his ghost to remain out of Hades for a while so he could visit London, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 of which he had fond memories.

Kwan Yin, Thoth and Serena then text messaged Hades on their Divine Celestial Samsung Galaxy 6 Billion Model Smart Phones and put in a special request for the successful director of the surprise “Hollywood” style summit in the Korean Peninsula’s demilitarized zone to spend some more time out of the realm of Hades.

Hades agreed.

He had no objections.

Especially since Welles was consuming most of the wine 🍷 available in the Underworld to the dismay of other clients and patrons.

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 26th
2018.

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Renfield Sees A Ghost At Windsor Castle

May 20, 2018 at 12:56 am (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, love, News, painting, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Sees A Ghost At Windsor Castle

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was the sole politician in the world to have been among the 600 officially invited guests to the wedding ceremony of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on this Saturday May 19th 2018 in Saint George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle.

Renfield managed to get an invitation to the wedding by presenting Prince Harry and Meghan with an original painting of the wedding ceremony at Cana of Galilee (where the Lord Jesus Christ turned water into wine 🍷- one Biblical passage that is not often talked about in most teetotaling Baptist Church sermons) painted by the great early 19th Century Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai. Renfield gave the painting to the couple on the very day they announced their engagement on November 27th of last year.

The Queen approved of the invitation to Renfield as she was rather fond of him since he saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.

Renfield arrived dressed in a dashing looking formal suit, tie, top hat and late Victorian early Edwardian walking stick.

He also wore a red rose 🌹 in his lapel (a red rose that had been given to him by his good friend the famous London art gallery dealer Dashwood Forrest).

Dashwood was grateful to him because Renfield managed to convince Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to postpone laser eye surgery treatment on some rather important celestial deities and instead perform surgery on and stitch together Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie 🧟‍♂️.

Mulligan had been blown to pieces when he had rather heroically landed on top of a suicide bomber to prevent anyone else being injured or killed at the official opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem earlier this week.

In addition to giving Renfield the rose to put in his lapel, Dashwood also showed him the latest painting he had acquired painted by the little known Renaissance English painter Henry Tudor (better known to history as Henry VIII).

The painting was of Henry’s mistress later 2nd wife Anne Boleyn.

Coincidentally enough, Anne Boleyn herself had been beheaded on this date May 19th back in 1536.

“So that’s what Anne Boleyn looked like before she lost her head eh?” Renfield whistled, “Quite the catch.”

Renfield thoroughly enjoyed the service at Saint George’s Chapel.

He thought he might be able to catch some sleep during the sermon (as Renfield often slept through most sermons given by Church of England clergy) but to his surprise the sermon was given by the Presiding Bishop of the U.S. Episcopal Church Bishop Michael Bruce Curry who spoke with all the passion and fervour of a Southern Gospel preacher or Pentecostal minister.

Renfield was absolutely riveted by Bishop Curry’s address on The Power of Love (as was everyone else in Saint George’s Chapel on this day).

He made a mental note to himself to ask his friend Amadeus Emanon to lend him his Bible so he could read for himself The Song of Solomon to which Bishop Curry referred.

After the service, Renfield went to the wedding reception to enjoy some wedding cake.

He however was not among the 200 guests made up of close friends and family who were invited to the reception hosted by Charles Prince of Wales at Frogmore House on Saturday night.

So Renfield chose to walk around Windsor Castle late at night.

It was then that Renfield saw the woman who was the spitting image of Anne Boleyn in the Henry Tudor painting now in the possession of Dashwood Forrest.

The ghost of Anne Boleyn- this time with her head once again upon her shoulders.

“Wow!” Renfield thought aloud, “Anne Boleyn must have been so happy by the union of Harry and Meghan in life that her head and body have now united in death.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 19th
2018.

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Reblog of Dashwood Forrest Meets Ivanka Trump

May 18, 2018 at 10:43 pm (Art, Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

Dashwood Forrest stood in the middle of his hotel room dressed like Gainsborough’s Blue Boy and stared at himself in the full length mirror on the wall.

“I’m beginning to have some idea of how Narcissus must have felt when he saw his own reflection,” Dashwood swooned.

There was a knock at the door.

“Mulligan, would you please answer that,” Dashwood called out to his Irish zombie manservant, “and please put a towel over your head. I don’t want you frightening anybody like you did the cleaning staff this morning. It took a $50 tip to bring them back again.”

Mulligan put a towel over his head and went to open the door.

He crashed into several lamps on his way to find the door.

“Watch where you’re going, Mulligan!” Dashwood exclaimed.

“It’s rather difficult to see where I’m going wearing a towel over my head,” Mulligan complained as he…

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Pan Goatee Aesthetically Cleanses A Shopping Mall Parking Lot

May 17, 2018 at 9:53 pm (Aesthetics, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

Pan Goatee Aesthetically Cleanses A Shopping Mall Parking Lot

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee left the department store where he had gone to take a piss (or “rather to leave one” as he often told people).

He was headed for the Public Transit train 🚊 station platform next to the shopping mall.

He had his astral machete at the ready in case there was a vast array of fat ugly blimps on the platform like there was a couple of days ago.

The spectacle of landscape blemishing blimps had caused havoc for several deities who had made the mistake of visiting this city in the spring when the human cows come out of hibernation.

Both Zeus and Shiva had gone blind and were now awaiting divine laser eyesight restoration treatment at Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s optometry laboratory at Set Enterprises in London.

The Norse god Odin had wisely put a patch over his good eye on the platform but this caused him to stumble and he fell and hit his head.

The blow on the head had caused him to have a momentary drop in IQ.

On the other hand if the drop in IQ turned out to be permanent, he was rumoured to be named to a cabinet position in Donald Trump’s cabinet (which given the length of longevity in serving in the Trump White House in any position, that could be any one trillionth of a nanosecond now).

As Pan Goatee walked across the parking lot, he saw a beautiful Indian woman just ahead of him.

The serial killing former musician for the classical baroque and heavy metal playing rock band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers happily started singing and composing a song on the spot, “Won’t you please play Bolly on my wood?”.

She sadly got into a car and before you know it poor Pan Goatee was confronted by the sight of a white fat ugly blimp approaching him.

“What an abomination of desolation,” Pan Goatee expressed himself in Biblical terms, “and to think there are some sports and reality TV watching bozos in this city who think that whites are the master race.”

Pan Goatee promptly cut off the fat ugly blimp’s head.

He was so angry by the sudden advent of sheer unblessed ugliness to his sight, he used his astral machete to laserly dissect and cut up the blimp of a woman into a trillion x a trillion tiny pieces making any form of identification impossible and forever rendering impossible the breaking of the infinitely happy news to next of kin.

Meanwhile in Oslo Norway 🇳🇴, a new Nobel committee had been formed.

The committee was meeting to award the 1st ever Nobel Prize in Aesthetics.

The Swedish member of the Committee was speaking.

He had recently returned to Scandinavia totally shell shocked after having made the mistake of visiting a certain city in Western Canada in the springtime.

He had stopped over in London prior to his return to Oslo to receive emergency treatment at Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s laser optometry lab.

The Swedish member suggested that satyr serial killer Pan Goatee receive the 1st ever Nobel Prize in Aesthetics.

The remark did not go over so well with the sole non-Scandinavian female fat ugly blimp member of the committee (who wore a gigantic paper bag over her head on the Committee Chairman’s orders).

Which reminds one of that old joke:

Question: Why are Scandinavian women all so beautiful 😍?

Answer: Because the Vikings never brought back any ugly women on their raids.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 17th
2018.

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One Wedding and A Funeral But Zero Hugh Grants

May 16, 2018 at 11:02 pm (Culture, Ghost Story, History, News, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

A very interesting blog post that Christine has written about May 19th – the date that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have chosen for their wedding.

In this fascinating piece of writing, Christine even brings in Anne Boleyn’s ghost in a blog post that’s part history lesson and part ghost story.

witchlike

All eyes will be on St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle next Saturday, May 19, 2018 as Prince Harry ties the knot with his American princess, Meghan Markle.

The event has been dubbed the ‘wedding of the century’ – much in the same way the wedding of Harry’s parents, Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer back in 1981 was the ‘wedding of the (20th) century’.  These nuptials, however, are filled with controversy.

In case you have been living under a rock, or missing the News, I will fill you in on the juicy details.

Former bad boy and beloved troublemaker Prince Harry – AKA Henry Charles Albert David Windsor, Prince of Wales – announced his engagement to American actress Meghan Markle on November 27, 2017.  Harry’s former outrageous antics include underage drinking, pot smoking, dressing as a Nazi for a costume party, and being photographed naked after he…

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The U.S. Embassy Opens In Jerusalem On Israel’s 70th Anniversary As A Nation

May 14, 2018 at 11:55 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Egyptian vampiress Isis arriving at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem:

The U. S. Embassy Opens In Jerusalem On Israel’s 70th Anniversary As A Modern Nation

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu got a huge erection when he saw her.

The Egyptian vampiress Isis arriving at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem.

Coincidentally at the same time as he called U.S. President Donald Trump the “reincarnation of the Persian king Cyrus.”

In Rome, Pope Francis (who didn’t have an erection as he watched the ceremony on television) retrieved the Handbook of Catholic Christian Dogma from his garbage can (where he had placed it since his election to the Papacy) as he couldn’t remember whether the Catholic Church believed in reincarnation or not.

If it did, it could be a dogma he could deny at some future date.

U. S. President Donald Trump (when he began his address via television) likewise got an erection when he saw Isis arrive at the U.S. Embassy Jerusalem opening on his television monitor.

“At this very moment, you have absolutely no idea how much I want to be there in person…” Trump began.

Rudy Giuliani was meanwhile thinking of a prophecy about storms in the (cheque) Book of Daniels.

Several Hamas operatives smashed their motor vehicles into one another (killing each other in the process) upon seeing Isis (the nice knockers in a see-through dress vampiress not the terrorist group) arrive at the Embassy opening.

The famous London art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest who was a personal friend of Ivanka Trump was also there along with his living dead manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie.

Even though Dashwood Forrest was gay, he too was overcome with an erection upon seeing the sensuously beautiful young looking vampiress Isis.

I hope my boyfriend isn’t watching this at home, Forrest thought to himself as the BBC World News camera panned in on him.

Katy Perry’s lyrics “I kissed a girl and I liked it…” kept running through his mind.

“I hereby declare the U. S. Embassy in Jerusalem officially open on this 14th day of May in the Year of Our Lord 2018- the 70th Anniversary of the birth of the modern State of Israel 🇮🇱,” Ivanka Trump pronounced as she unveiled the plaque next to the Embassy front door.

Both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Pope Francis winced when she used the term Year of Our Lord.

Ivanka Trump went over and hugged Dashwood Forrest after the plaque unveiling as soon as she saw him.

“Well,” Ivanka laughed a little taken aback after hugging the Oscar Wilde admiring London art gallery owner, “is that a paintbrush 🖌 in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”.

She brushed off her white skirt.

“You’ve always had that effect on me, my dear,” Dashwood Forrest laughed.

“Suicide bomber,” Mulligan the Irish zombie shouted as soon as he saw him.

Mulligan landed on top of the Lebanese Hezbollah operative (who was wearing such dark sunglasses that he never noticed the extreme sunblock wearing vampiress Isis) just as he detonated the explosives.

As a result of Mulligan’s drunken heroic actions, the only ones injured in the explosion 💥 was the suicide bomber himself as well as Dashwood Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant who went totally to pieces as a result of the rescue.

Both Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Iran’s Supreme Leader the Ayatollah Ali Khameini cried in their beer 🍺 when they saw the death of the Hezbollah operative.

“I don’t think I’m quite dead yet,” the moving lips on the head of Mulligan the Irish zombie impersonated an Englishman believed to have succumbed to the bubonic plague in the movie Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

“Well,” Dashwood Forrest picked up one of Mulligan’s middle fingers, “this looks like a job for Dr. Cadbury Rocher.”

Meanwhile in London, Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher put on his Superman costume as he headed out to a Costume Ball in London on a lovely May evening.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 14th
2018.

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Lilith, The Raven and The Keys of Peter

May 13, 2018 at 9:03 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Lilith, The Raven and The Keys of Peter

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was in a chapel in a Cardinal’s quarters in the Vatican.

One of the Cardinals who was secretly a pagan.

So there were no Crosses or Crucifixes present in the chapel.

The sole faces on the altar looked like the faces of screaming deities undergoing the most horrendous forms of torture.

Blood red roses 🌹 and greenish vines curling like slithering snakes 🐍 crawled up the altar pillars leading to the ceiling.

The painting above the altar was a picture of a medieval castle that looked like it had once belonged to Count Dracula.

The candles and dark looking candle holders looked like they may have once graced the set of a 1930s Bela Lugosi horror film.

In Lilith’s sensuously exquisite gloved right hand she held a raven that held in its beak a chain with a golden key while her sensuously exquisite gloved left hand pressed against her breasts a pearl necklace to which was attached the Renaissance era Cross that belonged to the Borgia pope Alexander VI.

She addressed an entity who had stuck its head out of a hole in the floor of the chapel.

“Mercutio,” she said referring to the raven she held on her right hand, “has in his mouth the central key belonging to Peter and his successors. Lucifer willing, Mercutio will soon get ahold of the other keys of Peter and the Vatican will be totally ours.”

The entity nodded approvingly before disappearing below the chapel floor.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 13th
2018.

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Pope Rihanna and Diablos Nocturna At The 2018 Met Gala

May 12, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Avatar Speaks, Celebrities, Commentary, Culture, Fashion, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pope Rihanna and Diablos Nocturna At The 2018 Met Gala

Diablos Nocturna stood in the secret Time Tunnel at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.

The date was Saturday May 12th 2018.

Standing alongside him in the tunnel was the powerful French witch Sabrine Davignon.

https://pin.it/66zjfkycjmk57p

The CERN scientist Dr. Hades Spawnus threw the switch.

Both Diablos Nocturna and the French witch Sabrine Davignon went back in time to the Met Gala 2018 in New York City held on Monday May 7th 2018.

And standing there was Pope Rihanna on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art:

https://pin.it/oluijvyvk2jt63

Sabrine Davignon commanded the elements, “Freeze time except for…” and then she spoke names in Latin which confused the post Vatican II Jesuit priest Father James Martin.

All people at the gala were frozen in time and place except for Pope Rihanna, Diablos Nocturna and Sabrine Davignon herself.

Diablos Nocturna went and knelt in front of Pope Rihanna.

He kissed her papal ring.

She then turned around and bent over and lifted her glittering sparkling papal robe and short tight skirted mini dress and he kissed her ass.

Sabrine Davignon thought to herself, “How like new members of the White House staff and the Trump Administration when they go in to meet the Donald in the Oval Office for the first time.”

Pope Rihanna kissed Diablos Nocturna on the forehead and both cheeks (facial cheeks for clarification).

She then ran her fingers through his hair and asked, “Have you been a good boy, Diablos Nocturna?”.

“No, I’ve been a very bad boy, your Holiness,” Diablos Nocturna confessed.

“Then I must punish you,” Pope Rihanna removed from underneath her robe a large wooden paddle that had written on it in large print MY PAPAL BLESSINGS AND INDULGENCES (written in Latin of course which would have further confused Father James Martin had he not been frozen in time and place).

She then sat on the steps, commanded Diablos Nocturna to take off all his clothes and lie across her skirted lap.

When Diablos Nocturna had done so, Pope Rihanna then administered 666 very strong and powerful whacks on his bare buttocks with her Papal Blessings and Indulgences (in Latin) paddle.

When she had finished, Diablos Nocturna then arose off her lap bearing a huge erection.

“Now perform the act of ritual tantric sex,” Sabrine Davignon said.

As Diablos Nocturna and Pope Rihanna performed the act of ritual tantric sex on the steps of The Metropolitan, the vampiress Golgotha (the daughter of Lilith) flew on top of a Cross in the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and The Catholic Imagination Exhibit at the Met and hung there with her arms outstretched.

Meanwhile in Rome Italy, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was dancing around the Vatican wearing a blood red evening dress and creating a huge whirlwind as she did so.

Sabrine Davignon (the immortal daughter of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft in her beautiful young maiden form and King Saint Louis IX of France from a night in which the blessed saint fell into temptation) smiled as she watched the Lady of the Dance on her smart phone (the image was being recorded by the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus on his smart phone in Rome).

Meanwhile at the Vatican itself, Pope Francis awakened in his bedroom confronted by the sight of Beelzebub the Lord of the Flies doing up his fly on his Prada men’s suit after emerging from the papal bathroom 🚽.

And finally Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster awoke in a sweat in his lobster tank at the Set Enterprises laboratory in London.

He quickly wiped the sweat off his lobster brow with one of his claws.

He wondered, had what he saw all been a dream or was it real?

It would be some time before Michelangelo pronounced his final judgement on the matter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 12th
2018.

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Renfield vs. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard: The Advent of Hagane-kyu

May 8, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Vs. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard- The Advent of Hagane-kyu

It was a day like no other.

May 8th 2018.

73 years since V-E Day – the end of the Second World War in Europe.

Donald Trump announced that the U.S. was pulling out of the nuclear deal with Iran.

Israel had hit a Syrian Army base outside Damascus killing at least 9 Iranian Revolutionary Guards.

It had also put its Armed Forces on alert in the Golan Heights expecting an Iranian military attack.

Donald Trump asked DARPA’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep to send Pan Goatee to Rome to slaughter a group of Iranian Revolutionary Guards who were planning to liberate the Vatican from the control of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal and The Vampiric Knights-Templar (who unknown to the world had been holding it hostage since October 13th of last year).

Ahriman the god of evil of the old Persian Zoroastrian religion had sent jinn under his control to astrally block Pan Goatee from doing that.

With Goatee blocked, DARPA was up shit creek.

In Havana, Cuba, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was meeting and drinking champagne with the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike saying that anti-Semite promoters of Jewish conspiracy theories on the Net would quite rightly blame Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu for Trump pulling out of the Iran nuclear deal.

The emerging Middle East War would forever blacken Israel’s reputation in the rest of the world, Lilith told Pike.

Trump ordered DARPA to look elsewhere when Pan Goatee was tied up in chains and ropes by a BDSM inclined Persian female jinn.

“Find someone else who will kill those Revolutionary Guards in Rome,” Trump ordered Dr. Faustus Imhotep.

When it was discovered that British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had just been given the name Hagane-kyu (which meant “Balls of Steel” in Japanese) by a group of Japanese Ninja assassins) was in Rome, he was immediately hired by CIA operatives in Rome to kill the Revolutionary Guards.

The Guards were in hiding at the Al Capone Trident Imports and Gifts For Bugs Moran Warehouse in Rome.

Renfield went to the garage dressed as a 1920s Chicago Police Department policeman.

He carried with him the machine gun that had been given him as a gift by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the National Rifle Association.

The same machine gun of which an astral replica was made by Dr. Cadbury Rocher and carried by a Renfield holographic image who crashed the Vladimir Putin Presidential Inauguration in Moscow yesterday.

Renfield entered the warehouse and blew the Iranian Revolutionary guardsmen away to kingdom come while singing the Elvis Presley song Heartbreak Hotel as he did so.

Renfield then dropped Valentine’s Day teddy bears all over the bodies of the guardsmen.

He left singing another Elvis song, “Treat me nice, treat me good, treat me like you really should because I’m not made of wood and I don’t have a wooden heart..”

At that point, the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte entered the warehouse and revelled in all the blood on the walls and on the floor:

https://pin.it/4upi5wbf32yrjo

“It’s a real blood bath 🦇 🛀,” she laughed and used her serpentine tongue to lick up all the blood.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 8th
2018.

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Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

May 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Science, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

Today Monday May 7th 2018.

Vladimir Putin is inaugurated President of Russia for the 4th time.

The ceremony is held in an ornate Kremlin hall in front of 5000 guests.

It was the same hall used for the coronations of Czars Alexander II, Alexander III and Nicholas II.

Putin walked alone through several hallways and several rooms to the swearing-in ceremony.

He was hailed by the guests as the omnipotent Saint George ready to slay the Western dragon 🐉.

After being sworn in, Putin then gave the Inaugural Address to those assembled.

It was at that moment that British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared carrying a machine gun.

Observers from the FSB (Russia’s state security intelligence service) recognized the weapon as one that had been given to Mr. Renfield by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the NRA (National Rifle Association).

Mr. North had bought the weapon from a Walmart store when he went in dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte but wearing an Adolf Hitler moustache under his nose.

Ollie (as Ronald Reagan used to call him) was not asked to produce any ID when he purchased the weapon while singing the song, “I want to mow down and kill hundreds of people today.”

FSB agents immediately started firing their guns at Renfield but he kept on going.

Even stranger no blood flowed from the MP.

The agents looked at one another terrified.

Mr. Renfield pulled a giant Bavarian sausage out of his vest jacket (he was wearing a sharp looking Armani suit) and hit former German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder (a staunch Putin supporter and current head of a branch of Russian gas giant Gazprom) over the head with it.

The sausage seemed to go right through Mr. Schröder causing him a great amount of pain.

“Bumsun it all to Hell!” Herr Schröder shouted in a mixture of German and English.

Renfield then pointed his gun at Putin and fired the trigger.

The Russian leader ducked.

The mysterious bullets left laser marks on the podium.

Finally FSB agents tackled Renfield and he vanished into thin air.

“It’s a bloody hologram,” Putin shouted as he got up off the floor, “who the Hell is manipulating that?”.

Putin was right.

It was a hologram invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher in a technological race with French government scientists to invent the perfect holographic image.

Dr. Rocher won the contest because he developed a holographic image of Renfield R. Renfield whereas French government scientists only invented a holographic image of French President Emmanuel Macron.

DARPA scientists in the U.S. decided not to take part in the race to develop the perfect holographic image as the Oval Office Executive Order directive from above directed them to make a holographic image of Donald Trump dressed only in leopard skin briefs and even the killer robot designing mad scientists at DARPA had yet to descend into that level of evil and madness.

Again Putin’s voice echoed through the Kremlin hall, “It’s a bloody hologram and I want to know who is manipulating it?”.

In his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises laboratory, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was using one claw to operate the joystick of the Cadbury Rocher designed waterproof PlayStation that controlled the Renfield holographic image in Moscow and with his other claw he was using it to play the harmonica in a beautiful musical rendition of Henry Mancini’s Moon River.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 7th
2018.

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