Molly Lily Kwan O’ Reilly
Molly Lily Kwan O’ Reilly the Asian leprechaun 🍀
Molly Lily Kwan O’ Reilly was an Asian leprechaun.
She sat in a wing of the Emperor’s Palace in the Forbidden City.
She was hoping to see what Communist China’s 🇨🇳 paramount leader Xi Jinping was getting up to in his personal chambers.
. . .
Meanwhile in Canada, a Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit of korrigan commandos were busy bumping off green eco-terrorist arsonists who were starting forest fires 🌳 🔥 all over Canada in an effort to promote the World Economic Forum Climate Change Agenda.
As British MP Renfield R. Renfield put it, “Bureaucrats in the Western world seem to be singularly focused on the one-degree Fahrenheit change in global temperature since the time of Charlemagne.”
Korrigans are of course the fairies or dwarf like spirits from the Breton region of France 🇫🇷.
Many Korrigans were unhappy about living in a France ruled over by a cougar chasing World Economic Forum puppet like Emmanuel Macron so many had gone over to Britain.
And many were now working for Set Enterprises as a Commando unit.
For the past month green eco-terrorist arsonists had been starting forest fires all over Canada.
The arrests had been reported in small town newspapers (not affiliated with any huge corporate conglomerate) but the arrests had of course been totally ignored by the large corporate controlled brainless mainstream media who were all promoting the Orwellian Big Brother Ministry of Truth narrative that man-made CO2 emissions were responsible for climate change.
In this way the would-be global ruling elites would be able to eliminate all industrialization, most forms and practices of agriculture and 8.5 billion people from the world’s population.
The amount of eco-terrorist set forest fires 🌳 🔥 in Canada was so bad that the smoke was now reaching as far away as Norway.
The smoke was of course engulfing the U.S. northeast and in particular the cities of New York and Washington DC.
Already New York’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Sen. Chuck Schumer was blaming the forest fires on Climate Change.
And in the Canadian House of Commons, the Green Party’s facially aesthetically challenged leader Elizabeth May was blaming the forest fires 🌳 🔥 on Climate Change.
Her plea was immediately hailed by Canada’s bedwetting Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau as further proof as to why liberty and human rights must be curtailed in an effort to combat Climate Change.
People’s Party of Canada leader Maxine Bernier (currently running in a Federal By-election in Manitoba) tweeted that “Elizabeth May wanted to take the world back to the Stone Age in an effort to prevent green eco-terrorist arsonists from starting forest fires.”
Meanwhile in Ontario, a green eco-terrorist arsonist had just had 6 bullets fired into him by a Set Enterprises korrigan commando.
“Oh shit,” the dying green eco-terrorist arsonist lamented, “I guess this means I won’t live to see my paycheque from George Soros.”
. . .
Meanwhile in the South China Sea, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was aboard the Royal Navy aircraft carrier HMS Baskerville which was sailing alongside the Royal Navy destroyer HMS Conan Doyle.
Last week the Royal Canadian Navy frigate ship HMCS Montreal had been sailing alongside the U.S. Navy destroyer USS Chung-Hoon when the USS Chung-Hoon was almost hit by a Chinese PLA Navy destroyer in a near miss almost collision in the Taiwan Strait.
Today Renfield was invited to take off and fly in a Royal Air Force fighter jet off the aircraft carrier HMS Baskerville.
As Renfield was flying in the RAF Fighter jet above the South China Sea and happily singing the song On A Slow Boat To China, a Chinese PLA Air Force plane cut directly in front of him.
Renfield calmly reached for a tuna 🍣 fish sandwich from his lunch picnic 🧺 basket, munched on it as he pulled the trigger and happily blew the Chinese PLA Air Force plane and its pilot away to kingdom come.
Later in His Majesty King Charles III’s study, his personal aide-de-campe Paddington Bear arrived to inform him that British MP Renfield R. Renfield may have just started World War III.
“Who will rid me of this troublesome MP?” The King sighed.
Meanwhile in Beijing, Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping did an impersonation of Joe Biden in his underpants when he heard the news that a Chinese PLA Air Force plane was shot down by a British MP.
The Asian leprechaun Molly Lily Kwan O’ Reilly took a photo of the event with her Huawei smart phone and uploaded the picture to Instagram and in the unkindest cut of all also uploaded it to TikTok.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 8th
2023.
Apophis and Stalin
The Egyptian god Apophis
Apophis was the Egyptian god of chaos, disorder, earthquakes, thunder, darkness, storms and death.
Apophis was known as the Great Serpent and was the enemy of the sun god Ra in ancient Egyptian religion.
The sun was Ra’s great barge which sailed from dawn to dusk and then descended into the Underworld.
As it sailed through the darkness, it was attacked by Apophis who sought to kill Ra and prevent sunrise.
The Egyptian god Set was originally a protector god and was the strongest of the Egyptian gods aboard the sun god Ra’s barge defending the ship against Apophis.
Set only became a villain in history after he dismembered his brother Osiris and cut him up into 14 pieces.
“Everyone thinks that I’m a villain because I dismembered my brother Osiris,” the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set complained to his butler and valet Athelstan, “but have I ever told you how as a child, Osiris constantly destroyed my toy barges along the Nile River and then used to hide papa Geb’s cannabis pipe and blame it on me.”
“Many a time, sir,” Athelstan sighed.
Apophis was aboard the ship Aurora when it fired one salvo from the bow gun on November 7th 1917 (October 25th 1917 on the old Julian calendar of the day then in use in Russia) at 21:40 which signaled the Bolshevik attack on the Winter Palace in Petrograd (Saint Petersburg).
If it had not been for the help of Apophis, the Bolsheviks would not have been able to seize power in Russia.
The last remnants of the Russian White Army as well as rival political factions to the Bolshevik Communists were finally defeated on June 16th 1923 (the Los Angeles Dodgers would be celebrating the 100th Anniversary of the Anti-Bolshevik forces’ defeat on June 16th 2023 with an Alphabet Soup Community Pride Night in which an order of transvestite drag queen nuns would be performing).
The suggestion to Dodgers’ management came from the homosexual god Horus (who had once falsely accused his uncle Set back in the days of ancient Egypt of being homosexual himself and once claiming his uncle Set tried to seduce him).
Apophis disappeared after the Bolsheviks’ final victory in Russia on June 16th 1923.
He reappeared in Russia again on November 2nd 1942.
Appearing to Soviet dictator Josef Stalin in Moscow.
Stalin was convinced the USSR was bound to lose to Hitler.
Apophis offered to help Stalin and save the USSR if Stalin sold his soul to him (Apophis).
Stalin being a dialectical materialist of course didn’t believe in a soul and so had no trouble selling his soul to Apophis.
After all he had soul his soul to some strange being calling itself Moloch back in 1899 when he was studying at the Tbilisi Theological Seminary in Georgia 🇬🇪.
After swallowing the signed soul document 📃 after rubber stamping it with his fangs, Apophis then became an advisor to Soviet General Georgii Zhukov and on November 19th 1942, Soviet forces attacked the German Sixth Army of General Friedrich von Paulus at Stalingrad.
That would turn the tide in the Soviets’ favour in its Great Patriotic War against Nazi Germany.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written Wednesday June 7th
2023.
Desiree Davenport
Desiree Davenport with a Ph.D in Physics from Peterhouse College Cambridge worked as a scientist in the Physics Laboratory at Set Enterprises as well as a secret agent for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit
Desiree Davenport was currently sitting atop the bar in a first class cocktail lounge in Geneva Switzerland.
She was sitting in front of the table where sat a high-ranking CCP member and physicist Dr. Ying Niujiao.
Dr. Niujiao had spent years stealing secrets from the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva Switzerland working as an agent for Communist China’s MSS (Ministry of State Security).
His cover was as a merchant selling Chinese Herbal Teas 🍵 in an exclusive shopping district of Geneva.
Dr. Ying Niujiao’s cover was not discovered by any American or Western Intelligence Agency as these days those agencies were more concerned with identifying and targeting opponents of the New World Order (the order that was envisioned by George Soros, Bill Gates, Klaus Schwab and Pope Francis).
For example the American CIA was very concerned with stopping the Presidential campaign of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. not only for preventing the final revealings of the roles the CIA played in the murders of both Bobby’s father and uncle but also because Bobby Kennedy Jr. was a threat to the continued existence of the American Deep State (which was basically a Hegelian synthesis of Nazi Fascism and Bolshevik Communism).
As such it was no Western government intelligence agency that discovered the cover of Dr. Ying Niujiao but rather the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
Phoebe Sears the cryptographer and code breaker for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had cracked the code being sent from Beijing to Geneva.
And she had managed to do it as a result of a misspelling on the message in a fortune 🥠 cookie delivered to her apartment from Lydo Chinese Food 🍲 🥘 in London.
As the Chinese MSS operative and cook at Lydo’s Chinese Food in London was hitting his forehead and saying, “Oh, what a dummy! Oh, what a dummy!”, Set Enterprises was arranging for the dispatch of Dr. Ying Niujiao to the Underworld.
Phoebe Sears, even though she had cracked the code, would not be undertaking this particular intelligence mission.
She would be kept out of the public eye for a while as she had recently dispatched a trio of ancient Egyptian deities (who were worshipped by the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry) to the Underworld.
And so Desiree Davenport (who herself was a physicist by profession) would be sent to dispatch Dr. Ying Niujiao to the Underworld.
The nickname for Dr. Ying Niujiao was the Horny Eagle 🦅 as he apparently had quite an eye for the ladies.
“What are you drinking?” Dr. Niujiao asked her as he approached.
“Why don’t you take a sip and find out?” Desiree Davenport answered with a smile.
Dr. Ying Niujiao did so.
The heavy dose of Polonium-210 (a drink additive often favoured by Russian intelligence services) killed him instantly.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Monday June 5th
2023.
Aphrodite In Venice
The Greek goddess Aphrodite in the city of Venice
The Greek goddess Aphrodite was in the city of Venice wearing a beautiful lilac dress as she walked along a brick pier.
She was here to meet Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
Van Helsing was on a mission for Set Enterprises.
Set Enterprises was hoping to stop Asclepius the Greek god of medicine, Thoth the Egyptian god of math 🧮 and the sciences, the Norse trickster god Loki, evil deranged mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci and the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio from bringing the Egyptian divine trio of Isis, Osiris and Horus back from the dead.
Isis, Osiris and Horus had recently been dispatched to the Underworld by Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit secret agent Phoebe Sears.
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was hoping to use Van Helsing’s influence with Aphrodite to use her influence with Zeus to use his influence with his grandson Asclepius not to bring that Egyptian divine trio back from the dead.
Orson Welles’ ghost was on a boat enjoying a plate of spectral Black Sea caviar as Van Helsing approached Aphrodite.
Van Helsing and Aphrodite went to a nearby Venetian restaurant to discuss their plans.
The waiter in the restaurant poured Dracul and Aphrodite glasses of iced water as the pair examined the menu.
Samhain Cardinal Salaman (one of the few heterosexuals in Francis’ Vatican Curia) walked by.
He tapped each one of the glasses of iced water 💦 and turned it into wine 🍷.
“Don’t worry,” the Cardinal smiled, “I am just a volshebnik. I am not Christ.”
Meanwhile back on the boat, the ghost of Orson Welles holding a glass of red wine 🍷 that suddenly turned to iced 🧊 water 💦 watched as the ship The Flying Dutchman sailed into the Venetian harbour.
“Captain Hendrick Van der Decken at your service,” a man wearing the 18th Century maritime uniform of a sea captain for the Dutch East India Company appeared in front of Welles.
. . .
World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab would be speaking to a group of influential businessmen.
Set Enterprises had sent one of their Intelligence Unit secret agents the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger to inject a needle 💉 containing truth serum into the buttocks of Klaus Schwab so he would be compelled to tell the truth at some point during his speech.
As Schwab stood up at the podium shooting his mouth off with banal platitudes, he suddenly grimaced but then went on.
Said Schwab, “Adolf Hitler said it by railway loudspeaker to the Jews leaving by train to the camps of Auschwitz, Buchenwald and Dachau almost a century ago and I will say it again, “You vill own nothing and you vill be happy.” Oh kacke scheisse, I can’t believe I just said that.”
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Saturday night podcast.
Noted Renfield, “Earlier today I got an invitation on Facebook from a group calling itself Bud Light Drinkers 4 Justin a group whose motto is Justin Trudeau is The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread 🥖 🍞. I googled the group and I’d have to say the photo of the group Bud Light Drinkers 4 Justin looks a lot like The Rocky Horror Picture Show but with a lot uglier looking transvestites. I messaged them back saying Thanks but no thanks. I also pointed out that Justin Trudeau is not the greatest thing since sliced bread. He’s the greatest thing since castration.”
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Saturday June 3rd
2023.
Atlantis
In fathoms deep
In the deep blue sea 🌊
She lies
Atlantis
The lost city
Louis Alphonse Cousteau
Great nephew of Jacques Cousteau
Was looking for her
Atlantis
Financed by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set
Cousteau sailed the submarine The Amphitrite to depths
Never before seen
And there she was
In front of Louis Alphonse Cousteau
And the entire Amphitrite crew
Atlantis
The mermaid 🧜♀️ Ionela appeared in front of the sub
“Away!” “Away!” She said
“For this is where the Kraken sleeps.”
“Which Kraken?” Cousteau asked.
“Zeus’ kraken,” Ionela answered.
“What is the name of Zeus’ kraken?”
Cousteau inquired.
“Phobos Maximus,” Ionela replied.
“Let us leave this place,”
Cousteau said to his crew,
“Let sleeping Krakens lie.”
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 31st
2023.
The Attack of Slek
Pan Goatee was thinking of liking a particular blog post.
But a really repulsively ugly woman had liked that blog post and Pan didn’t want his good looking satyr face to show up alongside such a repulsive uglo.
Then he went to another blog post.
Lo and behold! the same repulsive looking uglo had liked that post as well.
Pan Goatee put his astral laser machete on auto-pilot and threw it out the window to locate and track down the repulsive looking uglo wherever the uglo happened to reside on the globe and then behead the ugly looking bitch and then cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x etc. etc. pieces.
This Pan Goatee’s astral laser machete managed to do.
. . .
Meanwhile a provincial election was going on in Alberta and Slek the demon was eating ballots 🗳️.
Slek the demon prepares to eat election ballots 🗳️ in tonight’s Alberta provincial election.
The question of course was which side was he working for?
-Written Monday May 29th 2023.
Aphrodite In The Park
The Greek goddess Aphrodite in a park in London
The Greek goddess Aphrodite was sitting in a park in London.
She observed as the Greek god Asclepius met with the Norse trickster god Loki, a representative of evil deranged mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci and an envoy of Pope Francis.
The four discussed how to bring the Egyptian deities Isis, Osiris and Horus back from the dead as the three had all been bumped off earlier this week by Phoebe Sears a cryptographer and code breaker for Set Enterprises (Set Enterprises being owned by the London based ancient Egyptian vampire Set who was the arch enemy of brother Osiris, sister Isis and nephew Horus).
“Incest is never a good thing,” the blind ghost of Thebes’ Oedipus Rex commented as he walked by.
It was definitely applicable to Egyptian royal politics and intrigue especially when Egyptian royalty was elevated to godhood in a pyramid temple ceremony that prefigured contemporary Mormon Temple ceremonies by several millennia.
She watched as a Bud Lite drinking and cross-dressing Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI agent (on a covert mission for senile old fool Joe Biden) attempted to assassinate British MP Renfield R. Renfield for his recent elimination of much of Los Angeles Dodgers’ management.
The FBI agent was blown away to kingdom come (or queendom goeth) by Renfield sporting his Sean Connery personally autographed James Bond 007 gun.
Aphrodite then watched as Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles stole the magical love inducing bow and arrow 🏹 from her son Cupid/Eros 💘.
They did so because they needed Cupid/Eros’ bow and arrow 🏹 💘 for an upcoming mission on behalf of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
Aphrodite watches as Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles steal the magical bow and arrow from her son Cupid/Eros.
“Come here,” Aphrodite said to Dracul Van Helsing as she adjusted her skirt, “and get across my lap. You need a good spanking for doing that.”
Van Helsing did as he was told.
And Aphrodite spanked the living daylights out of Dracul’s bare bottom.
Van Helsing then made out with her when the spanking was over.
The ghost of Orson Welles grabbed the magic love 💗 inducing bow and arrow 🏹 of Cupid/Eros 💘 and got the Hell out of there.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Saturday May 27th
2023.
A Dragon For World Dracula Day
The Black Knight summoning the Black Dragon.
He was the Black Knight of Arthurian Legend.
Thought long dead.
But he survived on a Morgan Le Fay cocktail.
And lived even into the 21st Century.
As befitting this Black Knight, he flew a winged Black Dragon for special occasions.
And today was a special occasion.
It was World Dracula Day.
World Dracula Day was celebrated every May 26th because it was on May 26th 1897 that Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula was first published.
The holiday was created in 2012 by The Whitby Dracula Society 1897.
And Count Dracula (aka Prince Vlad Tepes aka Vlad III aka Vlad the Impaler), who was brought back from the dead a few years ago (interestingly enough by Dracul Van Helsing who pulled a wooden stake out of the famous vampire’s heart) would be visiting the ruins of Whitby Abbey where he had originally landed in England over a century ago prior to being slain by Dracul’s ancestor Dr. Abraham Van Helsing.
He would be paying the visit to Whitby Abbey today.
World Dracula Day.
In celebration of the occasion, British MP Renfield R. Renfield had impaled several members of Los Angeles Dodgers management on wooden stakes outside the ruins of the abbey.
Members of the society and Dracula picnicked under the stakes.
The Black Knight arrived with the Black Dragon.
Dracul was Romanian for Dragon.
Just as Dracula was Romanian for son of the dragon.
So it was appropriate that a real dragon was there.
Dracula drank a toast in red wine 🍷 (he did drink wine despite actor Bela Lugosi’s protests to the contrary in the 1931 Universal Pictures film).
As he sipped wine 🍷, drops of Bud Lite fell out of the cans in the impaled Los Angeles Dodgers management’s pockets.
“Thank you, Mr. Renfield,” a real nun (wearing her habit) said as she walked by.
Renfield, who was wearing a top hat 🎩, doffed his hat in her direction.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 26th
2023.
Pan Goatee Beheads A Repulsive Uglo Who’s Changing A Tire
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s 🦞 vision of Pan Goatee after he’s seen one too many ugly women
Pan Goatee was back down south after visiting the wildfire region of northern Alberta.
He was not up north fighting fires but beheading those who started them.
Cerberus the 3-headed dog of the Underworld had uncovered a plot by the Alberta Provincial NDP to win the Alberta Provincial Election.
The idea was to start forest fires and in the confusion the NDP would use the computerized electronic ballot system to pull a Joe Biden and steal the Alberta Provincial election like Joe Biden did with the U.S. Presidency back in 2020.
Pan Goatee however was not beheading those who started the fires because of the fear of election fraud.
But because the Alberta Forestry Service spokesperson was a really pathetic looking super repulsive ugly woman.
And every night on TV since the Alberta wildfires were generally the top lead news story, the super repulsive uglo’s TV screen breaking ugly face would appear on screen breaking the television as the said uglo gave her statement on the Alberta wildfire situation.
However no statement was issued on the high number of Alberta males with IQs of over 140 and highly developed tastes in aesthetics who were committing hari kari in the province roughly about the same time as local news broadcasts were starting in the province and this high number of hari kari suicides had been going on ever since the wildfire situation started.
During the plandemic of 2020-22, Alberta Health Services had a really repulsively ugly looking woman named Dr. Dina Hinshaw as their news media spokesperson.
What sheer sadist in the Alberta Provincial Civil Service was arranging for really repulsive ugly looking women to be news media spokespersons when some disaster was unfolding in the province.
This was really adding insult to injury.
Or in this case adding uglo to disaster.
The sadists in the Alberta Forestry Service had the uglo spokesperson under 24 hour guard and in a concrete bunker to prevent her beheading and her 999 trillion x infinity and beyond dismemberment at the hands and astral laser machete of Pan Goatee.
The idea for the Alberta Wildfires and Alberta NDP Electronic Ballot Stuffing Scheme had originated from the disembodied head of the apostate Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (the idol of the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio).
A number of years ago, Teilhard’s head had escaped from Tartarus and the Underworld (his body had been eaten by Cerberus the 3-headed dog but his head managed to roll out of a Gates of Hades cave near the ruins of the ancient city of Caesarea Philippi at the base of Mount Hermon in the Middle East).
His head had been still flaming as a result of being in the fires of Tartarus since Easter Sunday 1955 (the day that the Apostate Jesuit priest had kicked 🦶 the bucket 🪣 ).
Teilhard had, a few years back, set fires 🔥 with his flaming head to the Amazon rainforest and also forests in California in an effort to get the World Economic Forum and its idiot apologists to blame all the fires on climate change (and in turn blame climate change on man-made CO2 emissions which was an erroneous notion).
Teilhard was now intending to do the same with forests in Alberta in order to get the Alberta NDP (a party made up of perverts, freaks and weirdos) headed by World Economic Forum loving, Justin Trudeau loving and Big Pharmaceutical Corporate loving socialist airhead Rachel Notley elected to power in Alberta.
Teilhard’s head had started a fire in Edmonton’s North Saskatchewan River Valley not far from Edmonton’s Hotel MacDonald several weeks ago.
But then his head got caught in a lobster 🦞 trap in the North Saskatchewan River.
The lobster 🦞 trap had been set by a very eccentric gentleman named Harry Woo who did not realize that there were no lobsters 🦞 in the North Saskatchewan River.
“Oh, who’s Winston Churchill?” Harry would ask as he walked past the statue of Sir Winston Churchill in Edmonton’s Churchill Square on his way down to check his lobster 🦞 traps in the North Saskatchewan River.
Harry had forgotten about Trap 🪤 #666 which had caught the disembodied head of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
Teilhard had instructed scarab beetles visiting his lobster 🦞 trap to pass the message on to his disciples about starting fires in Alberta forests 🌳 to get the NDP elected.
Thus Pan Goatee was beheading Teilhard’s disciples who were starting the fires thus allowing Alberta Forestry Service’s super repulsively ugly female uglo spokesperson to shoot her ugly mouth off on television every night.
Pan Goatee decided to go out for a walk in his neighbourhood.
While he was out walking, he encountered a really repulsive ugly looking woman who was busy changing a tire.
The uglo was a repulsive looking thin ugly stoat in the satyr’s classification system of human female uglos (thin ugly stoat, medium size ugly gargoyle and fat ugly blimp) as opposed to a fat ugly blimp.
Thus this form and shape of uglo was probably not responsible for the car tire 🛞 being flat as would have been the case if this was a fat ugly blimp.
Goatee beheaded the uglo anyways and the car jack fell on top of a bunch of Egyptian scarabs.
-written Thursday May 25th 2023.
Dracul Van Helsing 
British MP Renfield R. Renfield Explains Critical Race and Critical Gender Theories In A Nutshell
June 1, 2023 at 9:51 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Agente Secrete Miranda Singh, Joe Biden, Miranda Singh, Miss Miranda Singh, Renfield R. Renfield, Set Enterprises' Secret Agent Miranda Singh, The Ghost of Orson Welles, The Ghost of Sir Winston Churchill, U.S. Oval Office Senile Old Fool Joe Biden, Wicked Principalities and Powers)
Miranda Singh a special intelligence agent and operative for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit listens to a Thursday night podcast from British MP Renfield R. Renfield
Miranda Singh a Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit operative was listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast while sitting in a park in London, England.
His Majesty King Charles III in disguise 🥸 as a Groucho Marx lookalike walked by the lovely and beautiful Miss Singh.
“Oh, to be King Henry VIII,” Charles sighed, “I could order that wretched MP to be beheaded.”
Renfield’s podcast started with a bunch of weird looking rainbow 🌈 holographic images being shot down with laser death rays being fired by Set Enterprises’ hypersonic missiles.
The display caused senile old fool Joe Biden to trip and fall to the ground at a U.S. Air Force cadet graduation ceremony.
Next the ghost of Orson Welles appeared sitting at a table and sipping a glass of spectral red wine 🍷.
“Saint Paul the Apostle said it in one of his epistles almost 2000 years ago,” Welles held up the glass of wine 🍷, “and in a somewhat paraphrased version, I will say it again, ‘Welcome to Pride in the ability to masturbate into the rectum of another Month’.”
This was followed by British MP Renfield R. Renfield sitting at a desk wearing a JENNIFER JOHNSON FOR LACOMBE-PONOKA ALBERTA MLA campaign button.
“Diversity, equity and inclusion,” Renfield began, “are code words for the perverts in the Alphabet Soup Community to be in your face (and possibly other areas of your anatomy) 24/7, 365 days a year, 100 years a century and 10 centuries a millennium.”
Renfield then went on to analyze contemporary sports and baseball ⚾️.
“Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Anthony Bass is a wimp and a wuss,” Renfield put on a colourful sports commentator Don Cherry suit and tie, “At first he did splendidly by giving the sodo-Nazis, pronoun Fascists and lesbo-Stalinists in the Alphabet Soup Community the raspberry they so richly deserve. Then he turns into a sissy and apologizes to them. Over to the ghost of Winston Churchill for his comment.”
Winston Churchill’s ghost sat in a comfortable armchair smoking a spectral cigar and sipping a spectral glass of brandy.
“Anthony Bass,” Churchill spoke in his distinctive Battle of Britain 🇬🇧 style speaking voice, “What a wimp. What a wuss.”
Renfield then went on to explain Critical Race Theory and Critical Gender Theory in a nutshell.
Said Renfield, “Critical Race Theory in a nutshell is this: The white race is responsible for all the world’s problems.”
Renfield then went on to the subject of Critical Gender Theory, “Critical Gender Theory in a nutshell is this: The male gender – and particularly those members of the biologically born male gender who actually think they’re males and are actually sexually attracted to members of the biologically born opposite sex- they are responsible for all the world’s problems.”
Renfield then went on to explain a lesser known theory – Critical Non-Binary Freak and Weirdo Theory.
“Now of course,” Renfield pointed out, “Non-binaries do not consider themselves freaks and weirdos even though that’s exactly what they are. What a Calgary based geopolitical analyst labels as Critical Non-Binary Freak and Weirdo Theory is being taught by cultural Marxist Neo-Bolshevik Communist groups such as the Alberta Teachers’ Association whose only accomplishment these days is to ensure that Alberta schoolchildren are transgendered, queer and Communist upon graduation.”
Renfield then went on to explain Critical Non-Binary Freak and Weirdo Theory in a nutshell.
Said Renfield, “Critical Non-Binary Freak and Weirdo Theory is this: Those who identify as members of the biologically born gender they’re born into and who are sexually attracted to members of the opposite biologically born gender are responsible for all the world’s problems.”
Joe Biden was immediately alerted by the European Union 🇪🇺 Commission (who most definitely were getting their panties in a knot 🪢 at the moment) as to the British MP’s most recent genocidal and Crimes Against Humanity statement.
Mused Biden, “I wonder if I should order a Cruise missile attack on Renfield’s office in the British House of Commons.”
After dropping a load of large sized brownies in his pants, Biden said, “I think I shall.”
Biden immediately got on the phone 📞 to the Afghan Taliban government in Kabul and asked if he could buy a U.S. Cruise missile from them.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Thursday June 1st
2023.
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