Nancy Pelosi: A Soviet State For 4 Horses
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was asleep in his aquarium at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.
He suddenly had a dream (or was it a vision?) of British MP Renfield R. Renfield fighting alongside anti-Communist forces in the 2nd American Civil War.
One of the Communists’ most pre-eminent “useful idiots” U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had the misfortune of falling into the hands of Renfield’s brigade.
The punishment Renfield envisioned for Nancy Pelosi had been inspired by an old Hammer Films horror movie that starred Christopher Lee that he had seen a few months ago.
In the film Christopher Lee played an evil landowner.
Finally the peasants got sick of his despotic rule and revolted (“How revolting these deplorables are!” as an upper crust leftist snob like Hillary Clinton might put it).
They had tied Lee’s evil landlord character between 4 horses.
With an arm or leg in a rope attached to one of the 4 horses x 4 (One limb for each horse facing a different direction).
Finally the leader of the revolt whistled and each one of the 4 horses galloped in different directions (towards the 4 corners of the earth).
Lee’s evil landlord character found himself being ripped apart into 4 different pieces.
No doubt an exceedingly painful experience for a brief moment.
Nancy Pelosi had been stripped naked (Renfield had to put blindfolds on the 4 horses and on the men in his brigade so as not to be turned to stone by the awful sight).
Renfield himself wore a very dark and powerful pair of welder’s sunglasses so he could see to direct the operation but at the same time not to be turned to stone by the awful sight of a naked Nancy Pelosi who was wearing nothing but her stupid looking Covid mask.
As Nancy Pelosi now found each limb of her body in a rope tied to a horse, she suddenly realized she was in a very perilous situation.
To say nothing of her hair being a mess as she had been unable to book an appointment with her San Francisco hairstylist lately.
“Jesus of the Gnostic heretics, Pope Francis’ god of surprises!” She cried out, “How awful it is that my arms and legs are spread out like this.”
“For once,” Renfield was getting an image of all this despite the powerfulness of the welder’s dark glasses he was wearing, “You have said something that I’m in total agreement with.”
Renfield then spoke the signal to the 4 horses, “May Geronimo defeat and crush and wreak havoc and vengeance on the Skull and Bones Society.”
The 4 horses then bolted and rode off into 4 different directions.
From a Dodge Ram truck parked nearby, its radio could be heard playing that old Patsy Cline song, “I fall to pieces…”
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up from his dream (or was it a vision?) in a sweat (adding further to the saltiness of the salt water he was in).
He went over to his waterproof iPhone, opened up his iPhone Notes and typed a note to himself to never ever get on Renfield’s wrong side.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 9th
2020.
Pan Goatee’s Aesthetics, Vladimir Putin’s Military Exercises, Hurricane Florence, The Unknown Drone and The Autumn of Terror
Pan Goatee’s Aesthetics, Vladimir Putin’s Military Exercises, Hurricane Florence, The Unknown Drone and The Autumn of Terror
There seemed to be a major disruption on the public transit train system.
Some idiot wearing a red spider monkey fur toupee (like his hero and American idol) actually suffered from the delusion that he would come out the winner if he crossed in front of a train at a train/pedestrian railway crossing.
He was of course wrong.
And as a result of the self-centered narcissistic idiot’s intense unbelievable stupidity, the inconsiderate asshole had tied up the entire public transit railway system throughout the city.
“I hope they remember to bury the idiot face downwards,” Pan Goatee remarked to a businessman waiting at the same train station as himself.
Finally Goatee got sick of waiting and decided to walk to a train station further up the line.
As he walked up the street, some fat ugly white blimp tried to walk in front of him.
He immediately beheaded the obese creature.
He decided to cut her up into 666 quintillion pieces for good measure.
As he was in a hurry to get home, he decided not to locate an environmentally unfriendly plastic garbage bag, pour gasoline on it and burn down a drug gang neighbourhood today.
The drug gang neighbourhoods were safe at the moment.
Goatee arrived at a public train transit station about 3 stations up the street.
It was another 2 minutes before his train arrived.
The train finally arrived and Goatee boarded it.
“There don’t seem to be too many ugly looking female idiots riding it at this time,” Goatee thought to himself as he looked around which was unusual for this city, “that’s a good thing.”
Goatee then got off at the stop where he would catch the bus that would take him directly in front of the apartment building where he lived.
As he stood there at the bus stop, some fat ugly white blimp tried to get on in front of him.
He quickly elbowed the fat ugly white blimp out of the way.
“Amazing how many of the fat ugly creatures in this city are Caucasian,” Goatee said aloud much to the fat ugly white blimp’s displeasure.
As if the Fates decided to make a liar 🤥 out of him, a fat ugly South Asian woman exited the bus right in front of him.
Not liking being made a liar out of, Goatee immediately beheaded the woman and cut her up into 666 quintillion pieces.
He then turned around and beheaded the fat ugly white blimp for good measure likewise cutting her up into 666 quintillion pieces.
As some people started to freak out and scream at the bus stop 🚏, Goatee decided he better leave.
DARPA probably wouldn’t like the bad publicity.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin consulted with General Sukyur Kokerov his leading military commander in Siberia on how the largest Russian military exercises since the Cold War were going.
When first announcing the military exercises, Putin’s leading female FSB agent the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had put out the disinformation story that the exercises would be conducted in the eastern Mediterranean off the coast of Syria 🇸🇾 causing U.S. President Donald Trump to take a major dump in his pants.
This information was reported to the FSB by Trump’s enema nurse 👩⚕️ who was a Russian agent.
Being an enema nurse to Trump was a difficult job as the Donald was full of it.
Putin was going to recommend that she receive The Medal of Saint Vladimir when her service for the Motherland ended.
. . .
The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was on her smart phone to her spiritual goddaughter the Renaissance Italian vampiress Florence De Medici who was directing the Eye of the Storm of Hurricane Florence towards the Carolinas in the southern United States 🇺🇸.
Lilith spoke to Florence the words of Christopher Columbus to his crew,
“Sail on, sail on, sail on and on…”
. . .
Israel’s Mossad agent known as the Controller of The Golem was examining the remains of a crashed drone.
It didn’t appear to be a Russian, Turkish, Iranian, Saudi Arabian, American, French, British, Chinese or North Korean drone.
So who the Hell sent it? the Controller of The Golem wondered.
. . .
Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard had received a package 📦 with a bizarre set of photographs inside.
The photographs were all of bizarre looking ceramic figurine dolls all bearing the same caption.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 11th
2018.
Pan Goatee’s Continuing Aesthetic Cleansing and False Flag Chemical Attack In Syria
Pan Goatee’s Continuing Aesthetic Cleansing And False Flag Chemical Attack In Syria
DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was riding the public transit train 🚊 when he noticed a stupid looking fat ugly white blimp boarded the train with her equally stupid looking heavyset white boyfriend.
What a travesty! Goatee thought to himself.
Proof positive that the decline of civilization was upon us.
He could well imagine the great Renaissance Pope Julius II (who commissioned Michelangelo to decorate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and hired a young man named Raphael as an artist to bring numerous artistic improvements to the Vatican) rolling over in his Michelangelo sculpted tomb.
Oh well, at least this allowed him to see the direction his papal successor Pope Francis was going when he got around to kicking the bucket.
Pan Goatee realized that such a horribly and repulsively ugly looking couple would produce multitudes of equally repulsive ugly looking children.
And while the progeny of such a horrible to contemplate union would probably result in the final nail in the coffin of the ludicrous ideas of the white race supremacist theory, for the sake of aesthetics and the end of visual pollution in the world (a subject totally ignored by Pope Francis in his environmental encyclical Laudato Si), he Pan Goatee the 21st Century Saviour of the Human Race (a title that America’s Twitterer-In-Chief had reserved for himself) would have to stop such a union in its tracks.
Pan Goatee went up and beheaded the ugly looking couple.
Later when Pan Goatee was sitting on a public transit bus 🚎, the bus was about to leave when the stupid low-IQ holding bus driver stopped to let a repulsive fat ugly white blimp on the bus (a blimp who could easily win elephant hands down the Ms. Fat Ugly White Blimp Ugliness Pageant in what was a city of mainly fat ugly white blimps).
Pan Goatee immediately went up and beheaded the fat ugly blimp saying aloud the prayer, “Lord, deliver us from all ugliness.”
A prayer that had been composed by the great Renaissance Pope Julius II.
A prayer that had been omitted from the lectionary of Pope John XXIII’s Second Vatican Council that resulted in the past 60 years of bad theology and the past 20 years of lousy aesthetics in that part of the world’s population most heavily influenced by post-Vatican II neo-modernist theology.
After kicking the fat ugly blimp’s head off the bus and killing a Neo-Nazi Ku Klux Klansman with the hideous looking projectile, Pan Goatee then beheaded the stupid low-IQ holding white bus driver saying aloud the prayer, “Lord, deliver us from stupidity” – a prayer composed by one of Donald Trump’s ancestors (a prayer that went unanswered).
He then cut the stupid bus driver up into 666 quintillion pieces and put all the parts inside a non-City of Calgary approved garbage bag.
At that moment, Pan Goatee received a text message on his Samsung Galaxy smart phone from Australia’s leading poet that he should really start using environmentally friendly garbage bags that met with the approval of Pope Francis.
Oh well, Goatee thought to himself, he really didn’t have time to find an environmentally friendly garbage bag now because as one might now say of the late brainless bus driver’s remains, “Lord, he stinketh.” (A line that had been used originally by another one of Donald Trump’s ancestors- an Elizabethan-Jacobean theatre 🎭 critic after a negative 👎 review he wrote of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet).
Pan Goatee then went to another drug dealer gang controlled neighbourhood in the city and poured gasoline on the brainless bus driver’s remains and threw the bag through the window of the neighbourhood’s main drug selling house.
This caused a 32-alarm fire that burned down the entire neighbourhood and made roasted toasted very well done marshmallows out of drug gang members.
Once again Pablo Escobar’s ghost wept over the spectacle and Nero’s ghost stood there scratching his chin 🤔 wondering what tune he should play on his violin 🎻 as this had been happening so often lately, he was starting to run out of fresh tunes for his audience.
. . .
Donald Trump was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office looking immensely depressed.
He wasn’t immensely depressed because of what journalist and writer Bob Woodward had reported about him Donald Trump in the investigative reporter’s latest book.
He was depressed because he hadn’t been invited to attend Aretha Franklin’s funeral last Friday.
As such, he missed out on the opportunity to ogle Ariana Grande’s shapely and lovely derrière.
Why should Crooked Hillary’s husband get to have all the fun?
Meanwhile on the Twitterer-In-Chief’s desk, a severed charcoal burnt human hand was desperately trying to get Trump’s attention by pointing at a certain spot on the globe of the world on Trump’s desk.
. . .
Meanwhile in the province of Idlib, Syria 🇸🇾, a radical Islamist militant terrorist group (acting on the orders of Donald Trump’s, Emmanuel Macron’s and Theresa May’s intelligence agencies) was preparing a chemical weapons attack against civilians in the region to give the 3 western leaders an excuse to bomb the Hell out of Damascus in a last ditch western effort to drive Bashar al-Assad out of power.
Unbeknownst to Donald Trump, a 300,000 man Russian military force was in the Mediterranean (a sea 🌊 that Trump was unable to locate on the globe of the world) heading straight towards Allied forces aimed against Syria 🇸🇾.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 4th
2018.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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