A Timely Showdown In The Klondike

August 19, 2017 at 3:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , )

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un and his British House of Lords member Communist adviser Lord Byron Jennings had been working on another angle to destroy America besides nuclear weapons and the intercontinental ballistic missile program.

The idea was to send a 100,000 man North Korean Army with advanced weaponry, machine guns and tanks back in time and conquer America in the days when America did not have such weapons.

They sent their good friend Ares the Greek god of War to the Underworld to consult with Saturn/Cronus the Titan god of time on how this could be possible.

Saturn/Cronus told Ares that his reign was of course the Golden Age prior to being overthrown by his son Zeus/Jupiter.

And ever since, Saturn explained, he always had a hankering for gold.

In fact he had been building himself a small portal through time to reach Dawson City Yukon in the year 1897 at the height of the Klondike Gold Rush.

Saturn was still trying to figure out how to leave Tartarus (“that 3-headed dog Cerberus is a real pain in the ass namely because that’s where he always bites me” – Saturn/Cronus said half in Latin and half in Greek) but Ares was welcome to take the portal to Kim Jong-un and see what he could do with it on the promise that once Kim Jong-un had invaded and conquered America, he would then invade and conquer the Realm of Hades and release him the Tartarus imprisoned Saturn/Cronus (for the Titan had it on good authority that the United States of America was the gateway to Hell on Earth).

“How will I be able to carry this portal?” Ares asked Saturn looking at the large astral laser holographic rotating tunnel.

Saturn/Cronus started singing a Latin and Greek version of that old Jim Croce song “If I could save time in a bottle…’

The large astral laser holographic rotating tunnel portal then shrank to a very small size.

Saturn then reached for a bottle of The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, took the top off, said in a loud voice “Release the Kraken!” and then proceeded to empty the liquid contents of the bottle down his throat.

Saturn then instructed Ares to put the shrunken rotating portal vortex into the empty bottle and take it back to Kim Jong-un with the following instructions…

Ares told Kim Jong-un that he’d only be able to send a small group of men back in time to the Klondike in the year 1897- a group of 5000 men.

And then once they had secured the area of the spatial/temporal location of the portal, it would be possible to send more men- like Kim’s envisioned 100,000 man army.

The 100,000 man army could then march from the Klondike to Alaska and take it over.

Then board ships heading further south and take over the U.S. mainland.

Thus North Korea would be able to successfully conquer America in the late 1890s and not have to resort to nuclear weapons.

Ares then poured the rotating vortex out of the empty bottle of The Kraken Black Spiced Rum.

The astral laser holographic rotating tunnel portal then expanded to its original size.

Kim Jong-un then called for the leader of the 5000 men who would initially be sent back in time- a man by the name of Sum Yung Fuul.

Sum Yung Fuul was a big fan of the Jack London novels The Call of the Wild and White Fang and would use his knowledge of both books to find his way around the Klondike in that time period once there.

Sum Yung Fuul and his 4,999 men then walked into the rotating vortex singing the North Korean National Anthem which Lord Byron Jennings played on his theremin.

Sum Yung Fuul and his men then arrived in the Klondike on Thursday December 23rd 1897.

December 23rd of course was the last day of the ancient Roman Festival of the Saturnalia (which began on December 17th and ended on December 23rd) and it was for that reason that Saturn had chosen this date for which the rotating portal would land at the height of the Saturnalia festival.

Sum Yung Fuul and his men then walked out from the forest in which they landed and entered Dawson City.

While walking through Dawson City they encountered a blue box in the middle of the main street that said in large letters at the top just below a shining lantern POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX.

“Did they have public pay phone booths in the Klondike in 1897?” A young lieutenant asked Col. Sum Yung Fuul.

“I don’t think so,” Sum Yung Fuul replied.

He hadn’t recalled Jack London mentioning it in his books.

Another young lieutenant was about to say that it looked a lot like the TARDIS from the Doctor Who television series on BBC One but didn’t when he remembered that it was only Kim Jong-un who was allowed to watch decadent Western world TV shows and movies in the Hermit Kingdom.

If he were to open his mouth, he’d be shot by firing squad.

So he didn’t open his mouth.

The men then proceeded into the forest on the other side of Dawson City.

The lieutenant looked at his compass.

“We’ve almost got this spatial/temporal location for the portal secured, sir,” the lieutenant said to Sum Yung Fuul.

Just then a woman appeared in front of them out of nowhere.
Steampunk Klondike Serena of The Snows

The redheaded red dress woman (who was in fact the blonde Steampunk time traveler Serena who had dyed her hair red for this occasion since she’d be dealing with fighters in a Communist army) fired from both of the weapons she carried in her hands.

Like the TARDIS phone booth on Dawson City’s main street which was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, each weapon that Serena held in her hand contained 100,000 rounds of ammunition each.

She blew all 5000 men away to Hermit Kingdom come.

She then blew into each weapon and put each one back into her side holsters on either side of her sexy red skirt.

The North Korean invasion of America in the late 1890s had been nipped in the bud before it even began.

Meanwhile Donald Trump tweeted,

@realDonaldTrump Just had a vision of a woman named Serena. Lovely lady. I wonder who she is?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 17th
2017.

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London Swings Like A Pendulum Do: The Tower of Big Ben

August 17, 2017 at 8:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , )

London Swings Like A Pendulum Do: The Tower of Big Ben

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had received an urgent text message from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Apparently Qonzilqointec had always wanted to make out underneath the bell of Big Ben in the famous London clock tower that people also called by that name.

Now the Aztec vampiress had just found out that the Big Ben clock tower would be undergoing renovations for the next 4 years and the bell would fall silent following the chimes at noon next Monday August 21st.

She asked Dracul to meet her underneath the bell at the clock tower between 7 and 8 tonight so they could make out.

“I’ve got to go,” Dracul explained the whole situation to Amadeus Emanon whom he was having tea ☕️ with.

Dracul exited the tea shop.

Amadeus’ iPhone went off.

“Hello?” Amadeus answered.

“Hello, Amadeus?” It was Renfield R. Renfield, “I’ve lost Dracul’s mobile phone number. Is he still there with you?”.

“No, he’s gone to the Tower of Big Ben to make out with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec underneath the bell since they’re going to silence the bell for the next 4 years starting next Monday,” Amadeus unwrapped and ate a chocolate covered peanut shaped replica of the Dr. Who TARDIS Police Call Box Public Phone Booth.

“Wow, some guys have all the fun,” Renfield remarked as the Simon and Garfunkel song The Sounds of Silence played on the radio behind him.

. . .

Cardinal Walter Kasper was walking through the halls of the Vatican when a statue of Our Lady of Fatima crashed down right beside him.

“Oh well,” Cardinal Kasper looked at his watch ⌚️ 7:06 PM, “No great loss.”

. . .

The great South African artist SAREJESS was having another dream.

He dreamed that the Tower of Big Ben in London was sending out a great searchlight signal that read 1001 Positions of the Kama Sutra.

He saw Dr. Who’s TARDIS Police Call Box Public Phone Booth flying through the air.

He saw the Greek god Ares dressed in a full suit of armour prepared for war and sailing on the Ship of Hades (a ship he had recently painted a few weeks ago) at sea.

He saw North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un wearing a top hat 🎩, tux, tails and cane and tap dancing while holding hands with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby singing Thanks For The Memory while the clock struck midnight at Rick’s Cafe Americain in Casablanca.

He saw Donald Trump shampooing his hair and a barrel of monkeys falls out of it.

He saw the three-headed dog Cerberus biting a scythe holding Father Time on the buttocks.

He saw Ares trying to shove a large tornado shaped vortex into a small bottle.

He saw a red dress wearing red headed woman standing in the middle of snow ❄️ in the middle of a forest and firing two unusual looking armed weapons.

The woman (although a redhead) looked like Serena the blonde he had seen in the room with Belvedere on the 2nd floor of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon in that dream he had a few weeks ago where an Egyptian Pharaoh looking Orson Welles had come out of a Cuckoo Clock on the room’s wall.

. . .

British Prime Minister Theresa May was just walking below the clock tower of Big Ben at Westminster when a pair of very sexy red lingerie Victoria’s Secret panties fell down on top of her head.

“Nice looking panties, Mrs. May,” British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked as he walked by.

“They’re not mine,” Mrs. May’s blushing 😊 red face could not be seen under the red panties.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 17th
2017.

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Orson Welles and The Woman of Mystery Part 3

August 15, 2017 at 9:24 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Literature, Movies, Mystery, News, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , )

Orson Welles and The Woman of Mystery Part 3

“So,” Welles looked over again at Serena, “From where did Serena learn this ancient Egyptian spell that turned Belvedere into a ghost white salamander?”.

“You mean from whom?” Serena smiled seductively at Welles and licked her lips.

“From whom?” Welles looked at her quizzically, “You mean it was a person who taught her this spell?”.

“Let’s just say a being or an entity,” Serena laughed once again as she threw back her hair.

“And who is this being or entity?” Welles asked the blonde enchantress seated on the desk in front of him.

“It’s revealed at the end of the script,” Serena winked at him, “at the end of the movie.”

“But I notice the last few pages of the script are missing,” Welles held up the papers in his hand.

“That’s because I want you to take an oath never to reveal the ending of the script before I show it to you,” Serena brought out a King James Bible from her purse since she knew Welles loved the language of the King James Bible.

“An oath?” Welles looked shocked, “But my grandmother warned me never under any circumstances to join the Freemasons.”

“I’m not asking you to take a Freemasonic oath,” answered Serena who had recently seen a Vatican Cardinal do just that.

“That’s good,” Welles breathed a sigh of relief, “I don’t really relish the idea of getting my throat slit from ear to ear or getting disembowelled within stepping distance of the ocean.”

“No sane sensible person would,” Serena agreed.

“But how then are we to make this movie if the ending is kept a secret?” Welles looked at her.

“This will be the most unique movie in all recorded history, Mr. Welles,” Serena spoke in a whisper, “to go along with all the unique movies you have made. This movie will be released to the general public to see within a year of its making but its ending will only be seen in a re-release of the film several years down the road. You of course will shoot the ending Mr. Welles with your own unique style but the ending will be kept on a separate reel stored in a Swiss bank vault and released to the general public several years down the road during the film’s re-release.”

“What a splendid idea,” Welles enthused, “so splendid in fact that it’s a wonder I didn’t think of it…”

“You will, Orson, you will,” Serena laughed.

“So how long will the public have to wait before they see the film’s ending during the movie’s re-release?” Welles asked.

“August 2017,” Serena answered with a smile and a sudden flick of her classic vintage antique railway watch.

“That’s a long way aways,” Welles looked at Serena with an understated expression of shock and astonishment.

“72 years,” Serena did not bother counting the years down on her fingers and toes as she did not have that many fingers and toes.

. . .

Needless to say the chief executive of RKO Radio Pictures Studios did not look at Welles with an understated expression of shock and astonishment when Welles described the project to him.

In fact, the studio head had even taken back the cigar he had offered Welles when the young genius film maker had entered his office.

“A bit early in the day for you to be drinking isn’t it, Orson?” The studio head exploded, “Now get out of here and come back with a more practical idea for a picture.”

Welles hurriedly exited the studio head’s office.

As he left, he heard the studio head’s pet parrot say, “Squawk. You should drink no wine 🍷 before its time. Squawk. You should drink no wine before its time.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 15th
2017.

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Orson Welles and The Woman of Mystery Part 2

August 9, 2017 at 5:48 pm (Arts, Entertainment, Film, Movies, Mystery, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , )

Orson Welles and The Woman of Mystery Part 2

It turned out that Serena was a screenplay writer.

“A screenplay?” Welles reached for her script, “And what sort of screenplay have you written?”.

“It’s for a Western,” Serena replied.

“Really?” Welles raised an eyebrow, “I was just contemplating whether I should make a Western. You must have read 📖 my mind.”

“It’s a great mind to read, Mr. Welles,” Serena smiled at him.

“Thank you, my dear,” Welles started to read through her script.

When he had finished reading, Welles peered at Serena, his eyes looking at her just above the script.

“So, let me get this straight,” Welles looked at Serena, “this Wild West saloon bartender named Belvedere is still a virgin at 45 years of age. He is propositioned by one of the recently hired working girls at the saloon/bordello (which Belvedere naively doesn’t know is a bordello as well as a saloon) to come up to her room above the saloon and sleep with her. When he wakes up the next morning after a night of passionate lovemaking, not only is his virginity now gone but he’s received a bill for $20 as the price of payment for her sleeping with him.”

“That is correct,” Serena sat on Welles’ desk and crossed her lovely nylon clad legs as she smoothed her skirt.

“Ah, those glory days of the Wild Wild West,” Welles smiled, “it’s considerably more than $20 for such services these days.”

Serena looked at him.

“Or so I’ve been told,” Welles cleared his throat.

Serena just smiled.

“And then,” Welles returned to the script, “when Belvedere refuses to pay her, she uses an ancient Egyptian spell to turn him into a white salamander. In fact a colour of white that was ghostly white in colour so he becomes a ghost white salamander.”

“That is correct,” Serena nodded.

“And then in a panic once he discovers that he’s become a ghost white salamander, Belvedere runs down the outside stairwell of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon and jumps into the Main Street of the town where he is promptly run over by a covered wagon heading west. He dies instantly and becomes the ghost of a ghost white salamander.”

“You’ve got it,” Serena threw back her hair and smiled at him.

“You know,” Welles sat there and reflected, “years ago when I was in my radio studio in New York City 🌃 and doing my final script reading of the Mercury Theatre On The Air’s War of The Worlds broadcast before it was actually broadcast over the airwaves, a ghost white salamander named Belvedere appeared to me and told me a similar story of what had happened to him. Later I just thought I had fallen asleep at the microphone 🎤 while rehearsing and dreamed the whole thing.”

“Maybe you didn’t dream the whole thing,” Serena uncrossed and crossed her legs again.

“I must say,” Welles laughed, “that I love the idea of the proprietress of this Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon where Belvedere works being Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister Sherrielock Holmes who’s a professional dominatrix by profession.”

“It makes for interesting reading doesn’t it?” Serena laughed.

“And for even more interesting camera 🎥 angles and close-up shots,” Welles mused aloud with a huge smile on his face, “I particularly love the directions in the script where the saloon/bordello’s new working girl Serena… say that just hit me now… same name as yours… has a classic old style railway watch that hangs on a chain down the middle of her bosom.”

“Yes, Belvedere really liked that,” Serena smiled, “he was always asking what time it was.”

Welles looked at her and laughed, “You almost talk like you were there.”

Serena just smiled and said nothing.

“Funny that dream… or what I thought was a dream the day I was rehearsing for that evening’s War of The Worlds broadcast back on October 30th 1938, Belvedere the ghost white salamander told me that he thought it was a gypsy he didn’t pay for sleeping with him who turned him into a ghost white salamander,” Welles recalled.

“It wasn’t a gypsy,” Serena pulled a classic vintage antique railway watch on a chain up from her blouse, “it was a time traveler.”

“A time traveler?” Welles smiled at her, “so we have a movie that’s both a Western and Science-Fiction at the same time?”.

“That is correct,” Serena put the antique railway watch back down her blouse undoing some buttons at the top.

Welles had noticed this action.

“I say,” Welles said to her, “you wouldn’t happen to know what time it is would you?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 5th
2017.

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Orson Welles and The Woman of Mystery

August 4, 2017 at 5:41 pm (Arts, Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , )

Orson Welles and The Woman of Mystery

It was August of 1945. Japan had surrendered. Hitler was dead. Roosevelt was dead. Churchill had been defeated in the recent British general election.

And Clement Attlee, Harry Truman and Joseph Stalin had met in Potsdam to decide the fate of the world.

And Orson Welles was busy contemplating the next movie he should make.

He was thinking of making a movie about the aftermath of the war.

But given what the world just went through, maybe audiences were looking for a film that wouldn’t be about war.

What then?

A western perhaps?

It was watching John Ford’s 1939 Western film Stagecoach over and over again that Welles had taught himself the techniques of film making when he had signed the unprecedented contract with RKO Radio Pictures to make 3 films for them.

But what sort of Western?, Welles wondered to himself.

His secretary walked into his studio office, “A young woman here to see you, Mr. Welles.”

“Really?” Welles looked out his office door and noticed a very beautiful young blonde woman standing in the reception room.

Welles stood there positively enchanted.

“Send her in,” said Welles.

His secretary motioned the woman to enter.

The young beautiful blonde woman did so.

Welles’ secretary exited and closed the door behind her.

“I’m Orson Welles,” Welles extended his hand.

“Serena,” the young woman shook his hand.

“Serena…?” Welles waited for a last name.

The woman looked at him and smiled, “The past is history and the future is mystery. So for now, I’m just Serena.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 4th
2017.

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South African Artist SAREJESS and The Cuckoo Cuckoo Clock

July 27, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Art, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , )

South African Artist SAREJESS and The Cuckoo Cuckoo Clock

The great South African artist SAREJESS was once again dreaming a dream.

He was dreaming he was in a Wild West bordello room above a Wild West saloon.

The date on the room’s calendar was marked August 15th 1885.

Outside the room through the window (for the drapes were not closed) was a neon sign that said The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon.

SAREJESS scratched his head and thought to himself, had neon lights even been invented yet back in the 1880s?

A lobster suddenly appeared on the floor of the room and started speaking to SAREJESS, “This sign was made from the earlier Geissler tubes and was arranged in a sign for this saloon by the saloon’s genius proprietress owner Miss Sherrielock Holmes who is the love of my life. Albeit an unrequited love since she is human (although an immortal human) and I but a mere lobster (albeit a lobster with psychic abilities).”

“A lobster with the power of speech?” SAREJESS was amazed.

“But only in my dreams or, in this case, in your dreams,” answered the lobster whose name was Michelangelo, “for in the real world outside dreams, my geneticist creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher did not give me the power to speak. Which is a shame. Otherwise every night, I’d crawl out of my salt water tank and use Dr. Rocher’s mobile phone to phone and text message Sherrielock Holmes and recite Shakespearean and Byronic love poems to her.”

“I’m sure she’d be impressed,” said SAREJESS.

“Indeed, she would,” Michelangelo nodded, “for she is a woman of impeccable good taste.”

The lobster then vanished with the next cry of the cuckoo clock.

Meanwhile in the bed in the room, the man in the bed (whose name was Belvedere) rolled over on top of the lovely blonde woman with nice knockers in the bed (her name was Serena).

“Oh my gosh,” Serena gasped, “here you come again.”

“Wasn’t that the name of a Dolly Parton song?” SAREJESS asked himself.

The cuckoo clock’s cuckoo then came out of the clock again.

This time the cuckoo bird had the face of Orson Welles as he appeared in the 1949 film The Third Man.

“You know,” a much older looking Orson Welles (the same age Welles was when he gave his last interview with Merv Griffin on October 10th 1985) dressed as an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh appeared to SAREJESS, “I always regretted during my long theatrical career that I never played the role of an ancient Egyptian.”

Then SAREJESS woke up.

The Paint Zombie (as his wife now called him due to his recent spate of nocturnal painting sprees) then rushed to his studio where he painted a picture of two cuckoo clocks. One had a cuckoo bird with the face of Orson Welles as the Third Man coming out of it and the other clock had a cuckoo bird with the face of Orson Welles as an Egyptian Pharaoh coming out of it.

As his wife remarked later, “You’ve definitely gone cuckoo, Tim.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 27th
2017.

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Belvedere and The Enchantress’ Spell

July 24, 2017 at 7:10 pm (Art, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , )

Belvedere and The Enchantress’ Spell

Belvedere lay asleep 😴 in the arms of Serena.

With a look of post-orgasmic bliss on his face. 😁

In her room above the bar of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon.

In his sleep, Belvedere whispered, “Knockers, must have knockers, cried the paint zombie.”

“Who’s the Paint Zombie?” Asked the awake Unsleeping Beauty Serena beside him.

“SAREJESS,” Belvedere answered.

“Who’s SAREJESS?” Serena asked.

“He hasn’t been born yet,” Belvedere replied as the cuckoo clock on the wall silently started moving ahead.

“I see,” Serena laughed.

“Reminds me of that song from the 1980s who can it be now, knickers at my door 🚪?” Belvedere continued to quietly rant and rave.

“My, we have moved forward in time, haven’t we?” Serena laughed again.

The cuckoo bird 🐦 came out of the cuckoo clock holding a small sign that said GREED IS GOOD.

“Oh, dear,” Belvedere continued his somniac insanity, “Knockers, a pair of knockers for my king 👑 dom.”

“Knickers and knockers?” Serena continued her exquisite laughter, “This SAREJESS must have a lot on his mind these days.”

“He does,” Belvedere nodded, “He’s the one chosen to paint the arrival of…”

“Hush,” Serena put her fingers on Belvedere’s lips, “you mustn’t name the name of He who cannot be named at this point in time.”

She then kissed his lips with her own lips 👄.

Outside her window, an ancient Egyptian Nile River barge seemed to quietly float over the moon. 🌙

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 24th
2017.

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Belvedere and The Enchantress

July 22, 2017 at 7:58 pm (International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Belvedere and The Enchantress

It was a hot August night in 1885.

And Belvedere the bartender at The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon was the laughing stock of the entire town of Hayden Colorado.

Earlier in the evening, Belvedere had told a saloon bar patron that he was still a virgin.

“What?” The patron started laughing his head off, “You’re 45 years old and you’re still a virgin?”.

Word of Belvedere’s admission had spread around the town like wildfire.

When a fire ranger rode up from Denver to Hayden and was told there was no actual fire, he fell off his horse 🐴 laughing when told the real reason for the excitement in town.

Unfortunately for Belvedere, his employer Sherrielock Holmes the proprietress of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon was away attending an opera in San Francisco on the West Coast.

Otherwise she’d have tomatoed many of the townspeople’s bottoms for making fun of her bartender.

Belvedere sat on the wooden sidewalk in front of the saloon blubbering away when a beautiful blonde woman walked by.

“What’s wrong, Belvedere?” The beautiful blonde asked.

“Do I know you?” Belvedere blinked at her.

“I’m Serena, one of the new girls that Miss Sherrielock hired last week,” the blonde sat beside him and raised her skirt showing very shapely legs.

“Oh yes, I heard Miss Holmes had hired some new girls,” Belvedere blew his nose into his tie and then took it off and put it into a box intending to give it as a Christmas gift to the man who had told the whole town that he was a virgin.

The lovely blonde reached into her low-cut blouse and pulled out a beautiful railway watch on a chain (that she kept between her cleavage).

“I see it’s 8 in the evening,” Serena cooed, “what do you intend to do the rest of the night?”.

“I have no idea,” Belvedere looked up at the night sky 🌌 and saw a shooting star 🌠.

“Did you make a wish, Belvedere?” She moved closer to him and put her arms around him.

“Um, yes I did,” said Belvedere.

“Well, why don’t you come up to my room then,” she whispered in his ear, “and then we can make your wish come true.”

Belvedere looked inside the water trough for the horses that was a few feet away.

The reflection in the water showed the pyramids of Egypt against the night sky.

Belvedere thought it was an opportune night to make his wish come true.

He walked up the saloon’s back stairs with Serena to her room.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 22nd
2017.

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Belvedere Discovers His Enchantress

June 24, 2017 at 3:40 pm (International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , )

Belvedere the reporter for the Times of London had not always been the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander.

He was originally human but had been turned into a ghost white salamander back in August 1885 when he did not pay a working girl for services rendered in a room above a Wild West saloon.

The brothel girl cast a spell that turned him into a ghost white salamander.

He turned into the ghost of a ghost white salamander when an ox cart heading west ran over him as he crawled in a westernly direction.

Belvedere had heard through his sources that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had managed to take a coloured photograph with his lobster antennae of an assassination attempt made on Josef Stalin in his personal steam locomotive train back on June 22nd 1931.

Belvedere wondered if Michelangelo’s lobster antennae could photographically go back in time to August 15th 1885 the day that he was changed into a ghost white salamander.

And spot who was the enchantress who did this to him?

For Belvedere had forgotten what she looked like after he got run over by an ox cart.

Not of course that the Enchantress was probably still alive to turn him back.

But he’d like to know who she was.

Belvedere went down to the Set Enterprises lab and put in the request to Michelangelo.

Michelangelo’s lobster antennae started flashing red and blue lights as the photo started coming in.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher checked the screen of the computer hooked up to Michelangelo’s antennae as the photo appeared.

Serena

“That’s her,” said Belvedere, “that was the newly employed brothel girl at The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon who turned me into a ghost white salamander when I didn’t pay her for sleeping with me.”

“What,” cried the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set as he entered the room, “that’s Serena my fiancee. You mean to say she time traveled back to the day August 15th 1885 and slept with you?”.

Belvedere decided it might not be a good idea to stay in the same room as an angry vampire so he vanished.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 24th
2017.

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Sherrielock Holmes Reflects On The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

December 20, 2016 at 5:14 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes Reflects On The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

Things quieted down in Hayden, Colorado after the Aztec gold was dug up and stolen by a group of marauding Mormons who took it to Utah with them.

This later gave American forensic geologist Scott Wolter something to do for his early 21st Century TV show America Unearthed.

Since there was no longer any reason to stay in Hayden, Isis flew back to Paris by way of New York and Qonzilqointec returned to Mexico City by way of San Francisco.

“At last, peace and quiet,” Sherrielock sighed to herself as she lay in bed.

She might finally be able to get to sleep at night.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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