Carson Cody Albion Meets Princess Arabella

January 4, 2021 at 11:52 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


The world famous belly dancer Princess Arabella in Cairo Egypt in 1949

Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion was spending his holidays in Egypt.

After seeing the pyramids and sailing along the Nile, Albion returned to Cairo.

In his hotel lobby, a thorougly inebriated British businessman told Albion he should go to the Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub and see the belly dancer Princess Arabella.

“Is she a real princess?” Albion asked as he lit himself a cigarette.

“She has no royal blood in her,” the businessman explained, “but she definitely is a princess of dance.”

The businessman then fell face forward into the lobby fountain where he was swallowed by a giant goldfish.

“That’s the seventh time this week that’s happened to one of our hotel guests,” the hotel manager pulled his hair out.

Albion walked down to the Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub to see Princess Arabella as the dancer was called.

He very much enjoyed her show.

Afterwards he walked backstage to her dressing room:

“Did you enjoy the show, Mr. Albion?” She asked him as she smiled.

“You’ve heard of me?” Albion was surprised.

“Carson Cody Albion,” the Princess enunciated each one of his names very carefully, “The Egyptian goddess Isis spoke of you as did the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis and Semiramis the Queen of Babylon”.

“You seem to get around in divine and semi-divine circles,” Albion lit a cigarette and adjusted his private eye fedora hat atop his head.

“I’m not really a princess,” she smiled.

“So I was told by a thoroughly inebriated pinnacle of British commerce and trade prior to his being swallowed by a goldfish,” Albion blew smoke rings.

“I’m a goddess,” she lay back on her chair.

“I would agree with that epithet,” Albion gazed down appreciately at her.

“The goddess Asherah,” she laughed.

“I’ll have to look up that name in my mythology encyclopedia when I get back to LA,” Albion wrote down her name on his matchbook that had the logo and the name for Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub.

“Why don’t you look me up here while you have the chance?” She walked over to her dressing room couch and lay back on it.

“I like your quick action style of thinking,” Albion took off his fedora and raincoat.

“Well let’s hope you’re a quick action man who takes it nice and slow when it comes to the most important part,” she licked her lips.

“Your Divine Essence,” one of the nightclub waiters entered her dressing room, “one of our guests Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun seems to have choked to death while eating our world famous Alexandrian mollusks. What are we to do?”.

“Alexandrian mollusks are one of a few things that’s positively fatal to normally immortal leprechauns,” Asherah/Arabella, who had read the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments, remarked.

“Is there anything we can do to resurrect him and bring him back from the dead?” The waiter asked, “Having an Irish leprechaun die on the premises will bring bad publicity and be bad for business. The assistant manager has already impaled himself in shame on the spear of the statue of Vlad the Impaler that the bazaar sculptor is working on in his bazaar workshop tent.”

“Giving him a mixture of juniper, cucumber and damask rose is guaranteed to bring a leprechaun back from the dead,” Asherah/Arabella smiled, “or so Asclepius told me just before the Greek god Zeus killed him with a thunderbolt.”

Albion wrote down that remedy for resurrection of leprechauns in his souvenir Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub matchbook just on the off chance it might be needed someday.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 4th
2021.

Permalink 16 Comments

Lilith In The Graveyard Garden of Good and Evil

January 3, 2021 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in the graveyard garden of good and evil

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his Sunday night podcasts:

“Just an important historical note of interest, which if shown to be correct, will be noted by future historians.
Here’s the gist:
A final political showdown is coming January 6th as the U.S. Congress meets to elect CCP stooge Joe Biden as President.
The 1st American Civil War began on April 12th 1861 just 13 days after the previous Easter Sunday (March 31st 1861).
Will the 2nd American Civil War begin on January 7th 2021 just 13 days after the previous Christmas Day?
History has a strange way of balancing itself out in such occurrences.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

. . .

The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was rushed from Dublin Ireland to London England by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship the High Calypso.

It was assumed that the cause of Yaldabaoth’s death was the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka wearing a killer outfit.

However after an operation carried out by a surgical suit wearing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster wearing a surgical mask and using his surgical gloved lobster claws to perform an incision, it was determined that the cause of death was Yaldabaoth’s eating poisoned lutefisk.

After a quick check of the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments (a copy of which was found in the billionaire vampire Set’s library and rare book collection), apparently eating poisoned lutefisk was one of the few things that could kill a usually immortal leprechaun.

After visualizing London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes wearing a killer outfit (which caused his lobster tank to explode), Michelangelo went into a trance and saw the circumstances which led to Yaldabaoth’s death.

Apparently after visiting the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, Yaldabaoth had gone to Rome to see the Vatican’s ugly looking Nativity display (which was put up to welcome the arrival of an alien ET saviour who graduated with a degree in New York School of Art Abstract Surrealist and Neo-Modernist Studies).

After barfing all over the Vatican Nativity display, Yaldabaoth then wandered the halls of the Vatican.

At first he thought he had entered a gay bath house but after viewing classical and Renaissance works of art in the halls and on the walls, the wee leprechaun deduced that he was indeed inside the Vatican.

Yaldabaoth went into a room where some Vatican Cardinals had prepared a New Year’s Day feast for their fellow cardinal Robert Cardinal Sarah of Guinea the prefect of the Vatican Congregation For Divine Worship and The Discipline of the Sacraments.

The feast, which consisted of large portions of poisoned Norwegian lutefisk, had been made by a group of atheistic Marxist Cardinals hoping to bump off Cardinal Robert Sarah who was a devout Catholic Christian.

Yaldabaoth, who was starting to feel hungry after having previously barfed all over the Vatican’s Nativity display, then proceeded to eat up all the poisoned lutefisk.

And in so doing saved Robert Cardinal Sarah’s life.

. . .


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith next to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore Maryland

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was kneeling in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore, Maryland.

She was kneeling in front of Edgar Allan Poe’s grave.

A group of mischievous Irish leprecauns living in Baltimore had put up Irish Celtic crosses atop Poe’s grave and graves next to it that would have caused the Ulster Irish Presbyterian pastor Rev. Ian Paisley of Belfast Northern Ireland to pull his hair out if he had still been alive and seen it.

It was a moonlit night in Baltimore, as billionaire Elon Musk who had just built himself an artificial moon and was giving a full moon trial test run over Baltimore on this lovely windswept evening, and so the moonlight shone down on top of Lilith in front of Poe’s burial place.

The artificial full moonlight of Elon Musk’s artificial moon was causing mysterious looking red roses to grow all over the cemetery.

A raven flew down atop Poe’s gravemarker and croaked “Nevermore”.

Indeed it would be the last time the Raven would croak Nevermore for he croaked shortly thereafter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 3rd
2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka Meets Yaldabaoth The Irish Leprechaun

January 2, 2021 at 11:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )


The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka In Dublin

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka had taken one of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airships -this one called the High Calypso- from London England to Dublin Ireland.

They were going to meet Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

What brought the meeting about was that Dracul had heard from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol that the plans of the Egyptian god Osiris, his son Horus, George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab for a One World government were locked inside the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo.

They could break into the Bank of Monte Carlo vault but to do that they’d need the advice of two people Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones who played two master thieves in the 1999 movie Entrapment where they stole $8 billion dollars from the International Clearance Bank in the North Tower of the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Sadly however actor Sean Connery had passed away last year and not so sadly actress Catherine Zeta-Jones was very busy keeping actor Michael Douglas very happy indeed.

However after consulting a crystal ball (which was actually a snow globe showing Lucy meeting the faun Mr. Tumnus carrying an umbrella and wrapped Christmas presents in the snowy woods of the land of Narnia), Whitstable had a vision that Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun knew the combination to the vault of the Bank of Monte Carlo.

After phoning Yaldabaoth, Whitstable discovered that was indeed the case.

So now, Dracul Van Helsing and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka were at their rendezvous location in Dublin where they would be presented by Yaldabaoth with the combination to the Bank of Monte Carlo vault.

The combination number would be inside a fortune cookie slip inside a Chinese fortune cookie that Yaldabaoth would give to them along with a take out order of Guinness soaked sweet and sour spareribs.


The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka: Wearing a killer outfit.

When Yaldabaoth saw Tanaka, the first thing he said was, “Wow. That’s really a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then keeled over and fell to the ground sending both the fortune cookie and the take out order of Guinness soaked sweet and sour spareribs flying.

Dracul immediately rushed over and felt Yaldabaoth’s pulse.

He then looked up at Tanaka, “Wow. That really must be a killer outfit you’re wearing. He’s dead.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 2nd
2021.

Permalink 17 Comments

Tanaka and Dracul On New Year’s Day 2021

January 1, 2021 at 11:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )


The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was waiting for Dracul Van Helsing outside the British Museum in London

“Do you realize you and I seem to be the only people in London who are not wearing masks?” Tanaka mentioned as Dracul approached.

“Which for us is probably a good thing,” Dracul pointed out, “For a maskless Renfield R. Renfield is also out walking the streets of London today. Having had too many martinis last night, he’s walking around carrying a taser and tasering anybody who’s wearing a mask calling them “losers” and “disciples of the New World Order”. At least we won’t be tasered.”

“So why did you want to meet me outside the British Museum?” Tanaka asked.

“Because according to a text message I received last night from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol, Karl Marx’s ghost was seen by museum security guards last night. Since I have no desire to meet Karl Marx’s ghost (unlike most U.S. Democratic Party politicians and 99.9% of those who work at the Vatican), I decided to choose the daytime to meet outside the British Museum,” Dracul explained.

“You’re a strange one, Dracul,” Tanaka smiled, “But in the good sense of that word.”

“You know speaking of strange,” Dracul said, “I just found out that a good friend of mine when she was a girl started out the day reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion and then met the next door neighbour boy whom she had never officially met before and then ended up stealing the boy’s aunt’s panties with the boy and placed it in various places which she compared to a dragon discovering that people could be set on fire when he breathed on them and that somehow the dragon found that deliciously humourous. And so did she on what she had done that day.”

“Yes, you do seem to have a habit of attracting the strange ones and vice-versa,” Tanaka noted.

“I seem to drive the character of Mole crazy in my Wind In The Willows dreams,” Dracul recalled, “although what Toad of Toad Hall thinks of me, he doesn’t say. He’s too busy driving the latest motorcycle or motorcar or motorboat.”

“Dracul, shut up,” Tanaka finally said exasperated.

“Okay,” Dracul fell silent.

“What did you want to see me about?” Tanaka asked.

“Did you know that, prior to Pope Gregory XIII introducing his Gregorian Calendar to replace the old Julian calendar in 1582, that New Year’s Day used to be celebrated on April 1st and not January 1st?” Dracul inquired.

“I did not know that,” Tanaka answered.

“It was on the night of October 4th 1582 that Gregory introduced the Gregorian calendar and the next morning on what would have been October 5th on the old Julian calendar, the calendar jumped ahead 10 days to October 15th. The change was immediately adopted by the people of Spain and its colonies, the people of Portugal and its colonies, the united Commonwealth of Poland and Lithuania and almost all of Italy. The Holy Roman Empire shortly followed. The Protestant states of Europe with their horror of anything that smacked of Popery adopted the calendar more slowly. Prussia finally accepted it in 1610. Britain itself along with its colonies only adopted the Gregorian Calendar in 1750. Thus England was ridiculed by other states as “Fools” for not adopting the calendar and the New Year’s Day of April 1st was referred to as April Fool’s Day. Hence our origin of the term April Fool’s Day.”

“That’s all very interesting, Dracul,” Tanaka nodded, “And this is what you were so anxious to tell me?”.

“I only found all that out this morning,” Dracul explained, “But what really hit me was the date in 1582 that these “new times” came into effect – October 4th,” Dracul went on, “This explains why Pope Francis chose October 4th (in this case October 4th 2019) as the date he brought the Pachamama idol into the Vatican. It’s all tied in with the Great Reset of the global occultist Freemasons and their bastard children the Nazi/Fascists and the Communists. They’re seeking to change times and laws (Daniel 7:25) and tying it in with the Abomination of Desolation (Daniel 9:27).”

“You know, Dracul,” Tanaka smiled, “You strike me as being more like Fox Mulder than even Peter Whitstable is.”

“And will you be my Dana Scully?” Dracul asked.

“What are the benefits to being your Dana Scully?” Tanaka asked.

Dracul showed her.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 1st
2021.

Permalink 11 Comments

The 366th Night of The Year: Zeus Boasts He Was Alexander The Great’s Father and Odin Admits He Was Adolf Hitler’s Father

December 31, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

An independent radio station in London England was reading the news:

“Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez was rushed to hospital in Madrid earlier tonight after he ate a piece of what turned out to be poisoned Norwegian lutefisk sent to him as a New Year’s Eve gift.
The parcel containing the lutefisk had a British House of Commons postal mark on it.
WHO officials have told the hospital’s doctors to list the death as being caused by Covid-19 should the Spanish Prime Minister end up kicking the bucket…”

. . .

Set Enterprises’ eccentric employee extraordinaire Dr. Marmalade Montague was asking Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster what would happen on the geopolitical world stage if Joe Biden was actually inaugurated President of the United States on January 20th.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster visualized in his mind Sophia Loren giving Benito Mussolini a spanking and immediately went into a trance where he got in touch with his inner Michelangelo.

Michelangelo came out of the trance and proceeded to type on his waterproof iPad with his lobster claws the following:

Within 48 hours of Joe Biden being inaugurated President of the United States, the following 3 things would happen:

1) Communist China would invade Taiwan to forcibly annex the island nation

2) North Korea would invade South Korea to forcibly annex it

3) Vladimir Putin’s Russia would invade Western Ukraine to forcibly annex the whole country

. . .

The Greek god Zeus and the Norse god Odin (known as Wotan to the ancient and medieval Germans) were having a private New Year’s Eve party in an old Berlin discoteque famed as a meeting place back in the late 1970s at the height of the Cold War where spies would exchange secrets and orgasms (and not necessarily in that order).

Zeus was drinking Greek ouzo and Odin was drinking German beer.

Zeus (whose nose was currently as red as that of the famous reindeer Rudolph) blubbered to Odin, “You know all those legends that said I was actually the father of Alexander the Great? That I seduced Olympias while King Philip II of Macedon was spending the night gambling so he could win himself a new horse? They’re true. I laid Olympias in the same manner I made myself chief god of Olympus. And 9 months later, she gave birth to the future King Alexander III of Macedon (known to history as Alexander the Great). How about you? How many world conquerers did you sire?”.

Odin put down his beer and held his head in shame, “Unlike you with Hera, I was loyal to my wife Freya most of the time. I had a few mistresses whom Freya picked for me. But I confess one night in 1888, I made out with Alois Hitler’s wife while he was busy seizing an undocumented customs shipment of Bavarian sausages. While he was busy inspecting Bavarian sausages, Frau Hitler was inspecting mine. And 9 months later, little Adolf was born in the Austrian village of Braunau am Inn on April 20th 1889.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t want to brag about that,” Zeus bit into his wienerschnitzel.

At another table the Norse trickster god Loki mentioned to his son the Norse wolf Fenrir, “Did you know that 2020 is/was a leap year? Like all leap years, it had 366 days. So when people this year said that this year seemed to last longer than most, they were absolutely right.”

Fenrir didn’t bother answering as at this moment he was having a severe allergic reaction to German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s recipe for Hungarian Rhubarb Pie that he had just eaten.

And at another table, a Eurasian brown bear possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin was drinking Russian vodka while a grey wolf possessed by the spirit of Adolf Hitler (history’s most infamous vegetarian and teetotaler) was drinking Hendrick’s Gin because he had heard it was made with rose and cucumber blissfully unaware that it was made with alcohol as well.

Meanwhile in Rome Italy, pieces of a small meteorite had fallen on the Vatican’s extraterrestrial ET Nativity display.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 31st
2020.

Permalink 18 Comments

Renfield’s EU Vote, The Vaccine Recipient and Social Media CEOs Perform Satanic Child Sacrifice

December 30, 2020 at 11:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in the House of Commons to vote on the EU-Britain Brexit Trade Bill.

A few security guards objected to his not wearing a mask so he shot them.

Back in 2017, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had granted Renfield one of those rare licenses to kill (like James Bond 007 had) after he saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.

Thus people, after Renfield had killed his 7th security guard of the day, started getting out of his way as he approached.

Renfield publicly announced he was abstaining on the vote as he hadn’t had time to read the massive multi-page document to see if it was good for the British people.

“This might have been a last minute Christmas Eve turkey that 10 Downing Street was hoping to hoist on the British people,” Renfield pointed out, “to match the massive turkey egg that Johnson had earlier laid on the British public when he decided to cancel Christmas.”

Renfield then said that as Prime Minister of a majority government, Johnson seemed to be acting less of the Classics major at Oxford that he claimed to be and more like a Sociology major at Berkeley.

Johnson shouted that he had never been so insulted in all his life to which Renfield replied that he should get out more often.

. . .

Harold’s wife Carolyn was an NHS worker.

As a front line worker, she had just last night received the vaccine for the Coronavirus.

Harold had heard a row late last night and when he opened the door, he discovered that it was his wife kicking cats and dogs down the street.

She poured his casserole down the garburator and proceeded to eat all the house plants including the cactus, the prize winning orchids and his mother’s favourite chrysanthemums.

And the biggest ambidextra in the world was no longer so big after she had belched down the last leaf.

Harold chose to sleep on the couch when he went to the bedroom and noticed that when she took her clothes off, she had grown several more arms and legs.

As Harold prayed for the arrival of Pan Goatee to bring deliverance, he was kept awake by the sound of brontosaurus mating calls and T-rex roars after being stabbed by a triceratops horn that came from the bedroom.

When his wife opened the door, she looked like a baby brontosaurus with a t-rex head with a triceratops horn growing out of her forehead.

The children arrived from staying at Grandma’s at that moment and Carolyn ripped off their heads, arms and legs prior to eating them.

Renfield’s radio broadcast came on the radio at that moment saying that a little publicized WHO directive was telling people not to be alarmed by the number of deaths that will be caused by receiving the vaccine.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his aquarium at Set Enterprises where he was having a vision of the social media tech giant CEOs meeting on a private island to perform satanic child sacrifices.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, Google CEO Sundar Pichai and Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey were all wearing dark robes and carrying long daggers.

Their lips and mouths were stained with blood after hours of feasting on the parts of dead babies sacrificed to Moloch.

On the large drive-in movie theatre screen in front of them, they received greetings from Joe Biden, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam and California Gov. Gavin Newsom who all wished they were there.

They likewise received a video message from Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping who also wished that he could be there but he was currently paying a courtesy visit to the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Clinic in Beijing.

Dr.Anthony Fauci likewise sent his greetings and said he agreed with the PLA’s Biological Warfare Commander’s statement that the Novel Coronavirus was not a synthetic virus created by uniting genetic sequences from the SARS-2 virus and the HIV virus forming a recurring chimera hybrid virus that the world will never be able to get rid of.

And the world’s choice was now everyone could die in a global prison.

Or they could live freely until the last person on earth finally keeled over from the virus.

Most people who would soon be idiotically greeting one another with wishes of Happy New Year were totally oblivious to the choice they could now make.

Instead the world’s self-proclaimed elite would decide it for them (everyone in the global prison with promises of a return to normal soon) as they gathered in homage to Lucifer/Satan the being who said he was from another planet and would be taking them the self-proclaimed elite there shortly.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 30th
2020.

Permalink 2 Comments

Mephistopheles Leaves Joe Biden’s Body Temporarily For Secret Meeting With Kamala Harris

December 29, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“Those who are adherents, followers and disciples of the united Deutero-Nazi Fourth Reich/USSR 2.0 New World Order One World Government (aka the Great Reset) now being imposed upon the world are easy to spot. They’re the ones wearing masks.”
-British MP Renfield R. Renfield

Renfield was finishing up his podcast by mentioning a news story about a disabled U.S. war vet who was beat up by people wearing masks in a shopping mall because he refused to wear a mask saying he “wasn’t disabled fighting for freedom in order to return home and be told that he didn’t have the freedom to breathe freely.”
After being beaten, he was then thrown to the ground and arrested by Deutero-Nazi stormtrooper mall security guards.

“What is the difference between these mask wearing thugs and stormtroopers and the terrorists of Leon Trotsky’s Bolshevik Red Army and Adolf Hitler’s Brown Shirts, SS and Gestapo?” Renfield asked and then answered, “Absolutely nothing.”

Renfield then noted that over 30 odd years of Star Wars films had wholeheartedly failed to clue in “the stupidest generation ever.”

“What was the first thing Anakim Skywalker/Darth Vader and the Empire Stormtroopers did upon going over to the Dark Side?” Renfield noted, “Put on masks of course.”

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was paying an unauthorized tourist visit to the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland.

What he saw outside the tunnel shook him to the core.

He dropped the William Tell arrowed apple that he was eating and took a second look.

He immediately got on the phone to Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Pete,” the wee leprechaun gasped, “There’s something unbelievable happening outside the CERN tunnel?”.

“What’s that?” Whitstable was examining a large fortune slip of paper that he had pulled out of a Great Pumpkin sized fortune cookie that purported to give details of the private sex life of Xi Jinping (the fictitious fortune had been in fact ghost written by the ghost of the Byzantine historian Procopius).

“The god Shiva is dancing outside the tunnel,” Yald (as the leprechaun was called for short) explained.

“Yald,” Whitstable ate an egg roll with a pair of chopsticks, “That’s not the actual god. That’s a statue of Shiva as Lord of The Dance.”

“There’s a statue here, sure,” Yald noted, “But there really is the actual god himself. Shiva. He’s dancing a Bavarian polka with the Irish Celtic goddess Morrigan while the Norse god Thor is playing the accordion and the Greek god Ares is playing the tuba.”

“Really?” Whitstable ate the Peking Hot and Sour Baked Alaska, “Can you take a photo and email that to me? I’d like to share that on my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.”

. . .

The fallen angel Mephistopheles (who demonically possessed Joe Biden’s body so that the senile old fool could make an intelligent sounding statement on occasion) had temporarily left the senile old fool’s body for a secret meeting with Kamala Harris.

They were meeting to discuss what should be done with Joe shortly after he was inaugurated.

Should Oprah and Dr. Phil hold a joint press conference on the front lawn of the White House and declare Joe clinically insane as he’s seen in the background being carried away in a straight jacket by secret service agents dressed as members of the Emperor Caligula’s Praetorian Guard?

Or should Joe meet with an accident aboard Air Force One as the door is “accidentally” left open at 5,000 feet in the air and Joe “accidentally” steps through it?

After briefly serving as President, Kamala would crown herself Queen of the Land.

A Communist Queen of course somewhat like the Kim Communist dynastic heriditary monarchy of North Korea except Kamala could reign for over 100 years as a Communist transhuman.

She would adopt the title the White Queen to appease (closeted White Supremacist) eugenicist Bill Gates.

As for her name as Queen, she’d take a name to honour her predecessor Joe Biden and herself Kamala Harris.

She’d take the letters J and d from Joe Biden’s name and the letters “a” and “is” from her own name Kamala Harris to form the name Jadis which would be the name of the White Queen who’d rule for at least 100 years.

In a world where, as C.S. Lewis observed, “It would be always winter and never Christmas”.

The way had been prepared for it by Bill Gates, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Pope Francis and various political leaders all over the globe cancelling Christmas for 2020.

As Joe Biden himself had said, “It will be a long dark winter ahead.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 29th
2020.

Permalink 14 Comments

Vampiress Golgotha Encounters The Merry Monarch On A Late December Evening

December 28, 2020 at 11:39 pm (History, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )


The vampiress Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith in the sitting room of The Wild Boar Tavern

It was a late December evening in England in the year 1660.

Charles II (the man known to history as the Merry Monarch) had been restored to his throne earlier this year as King of England, Scotland and Ireland after years of despotic Puritan rule.

Oliver Cromwell the Puritan dictator par excellence had kicked the bucket a couple of years earlier in 1658.

Christmas Day had recently passed and New Year’s Day was approaching.

And Charles II chose this time to go on a wild boar hunt in the middle of winter.

Not that Charles was really interested in hunting wild boar.

He just used that as an excuse to escape the palace and engage in hunting what occupied his thoughts most of the time.

Not at all upset by the fact that he hadn’t caught a wild boar all day, Charles entered through the door of The Wild Boar Tavern the pub and inn he was staying in overnight on this Feast Day of the Holy Innocents.

As Charles entered through the tavern door, he encountered this vision in the pub’s sitting room:


Vampiress Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith

Upon encountering the vision Charles said aloud, “Jesus.”

“Close,” the woman sipped a goblet of wine, “The name is Golgotha actually.”

“Golgotha?” The monarch although a sex crazed sinner was still a believer in Christ and made the sign of the Cross upon hearing the name of the place of the Lord’s death, “What a strange name to have.”

“My mother was and is a strange woman,” Golgotha acknowledged.

“Still no matter,” Charles sat across from her, “Aren’t you cold on this December night… wearing… um… what you’re wearing?”.

“Or not wearing,” the woman smiled at him.

“Well, yes,” Charles nodded.

“The fire’s warm,” she smiled, “and getting warmer now that you’ve arrived. And we could probably find ways of getting me even warmer.”

“Indeed,” Charles threw his winter cloak over a chair, “I hope I can be of assistance in helping you achieve the appropriate warmth.”

“I’m sure you can, your Majesty,’ Golgotha played with her long red hair, “I’m sure an accomplished hunter such as yourself is good at thrusting his spear.”

“There is no greater spear thruster in the entire kingdom,” Charles bowed.

“I’m sure the bear skin rug by the fireplace is an excellent place to demonstrate your prowess in these matters,” she stood up, walked over to the bear skin rug and lay down.

All the growling and panting that night did not come from the bear’s mouth.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 28th
2020.

Permalink 8 Comments

Newly Invented Van Helsingian Style Haiku About Mai The Illustrator

December 27, 2020 at 11:43 pm (Poetry) (, , )

He’d never met a professional illustrator before
And now having met one
He was glad he had

Permalink 13 Comments

Exposed: Krampus’ Christmas Eve 2020 Kidnapping of Santa

December 26, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

As everyone knows Santa Claus lives at the North Pole.

Of course Santa Claus isn’t his original name.

The original name of the extremely tall and very fat elf was Caerthalian.

However Caerthalian was so impressed with the saintly bishop Saint Nicholas of Myra (March 15th 270 AD to December 6th 343 AD) and his beautiful habit of giving gifts at Christmas, that, after the good Saint died, Caerthalian and some of his smaller and shorter elf acquaintances moved up to the North Pole and built a small toy workshop where they made gifts for good little girls and boys that they then delivered around the world by Christmas morn.

As the Middle Ages started to drift into the era of the Renaissance, three little boys Martin Luther, John Calvin and Ulrich Zwingli never received any gifts at Christmas from Caerthalian (who had since changed his name to Santa Claus a variant of the Dutch Sinter Klaas which was the Dutch nickname for Saint Nicholas) because they were consistently naughty throughout the year.

As such when grown men, all 3 consistently argued for justification by faith.

Thus from Caerthalian’s/Santa Claus’ penchant for only giving gifts to good little girls and boys, the seeds of the Protestant Reformation were born.

Caerthalian’s/Santa Claus’ discriminatory policy of not giving gifts to the ethically challenged would be thoroughly repudiated by Jorge Mario Bergoglio in the 2nd decade of the 21st Century.

Turning to the point where the second and third decades of the 21st Century would merge- Christmas Eve 2020- after a meeting of demons and fallen angels in the newly formed Council For Inclusive Debauchery, it was agreed that the half-demon half-goat Krampus (who was the most unholy creature at December in the territory of the old Holy Roman Empire) should kidnap Santa Claus on the night of December 24th and commandeer his gift laden one horse open sleigh that was driven by eight reindeer (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen) plus Rudolph (who had been putting in a special cameo appearance every Christmas Eve since 1939).

Olive the other reindeer would stay home and get plastered drinking Mrs. Claus’ rum laced eggnog.

This year Krampus would be carrying a special gift that was made by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

Bill Gates was already rubbing his hands with glee as visions of the next vaccine danced in his head.

Dr. Anthony Fauci and the Xi Jinping Commie loving idiots at WHO had already told the children of the world that Santa was immune from Covid and they should not be afraid to hug the jolly old elf if they see him.

Any change in Santa’s appearance from previous Christmasses (i.e. looking like Krampus) could be explained by an allergic skin reaction to a teen elf acne medication he was taking.

With the blessings of Dr. Anthony Fauci and the WHO, Krampus as the Santa imposter set out on his Christmas Eve mission.

It was agreed by all involved with the Council For Inclusive Debauchery that Rudolph plus the original 8 reindeer plus Olive the other reindeer should be held under quarantine so that reports of the Krampus posing as Santa story would not get out to the world and give the mainstream Marxist media in the West a chance to think up a cockinbull story knocking any honest reports of the incident.

Rudolph however managed to escape and got to the Set Estate in London where he told British MP Renfield R. Renfield the story.

Renfield went in and informed his former employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set of what had happened.

“What reindeer relayed this info?” Set asked.

“Rudolph,” Renfield replied.

“How do you know it was Rudolph?” Set inquired.

“Because of his red shiny nose,” Renfield answered.

Set lit himself a cigar and asked, “What is the cause of his red shiny nose?”.

“Could it be Oom-Pah-Pah?” The woman playing the female character of Nancy sang on the old LP record belonging to Set which contained songs from the 1960 musical Oliver! a musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic 1838 novel Oliver Twist.

Renfield, looking back into the living room where he noticed Rudolph hitting the bottles of gin, remarked, “The lady on the record says it all.”

-A Christmas children’s story
for adults
and
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 26th
2020.

Permalink 14 Comments

« Previous page · Next page »