Pan Goatee and The Origins of The Name Jack The Ripper

July 30, 2018 at 10:24 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Philosophy, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pan Goatee and The Origins of The Name Jack The Ripper

Satyr serial killer and DARPA contract assassin Pan Goatee was just leaving the bank when an ugly woman stepped in front of him.

He immediately beheaded her with his astral laser machete.

“Haven’t you heard the saying Beauty before ugliness, bitch?” Pan Goatee exclaimed before kicking the ugly woman’s head out into the parking lot.

He then walked down the sidewalk from the bank’s entrance to the mall’s main entrance.

As he walked through the doors, a beautiful woman standing there asked him, “My God but aren’t you the America’s Got Talent magician Aaron Crow?”.

Pan Goatee replied by looking like he was talking in sign language with his hands.

Then he smiled, “Just kidding. I’m actually Pan Goatee – satyr serial killer Extraordinaire, DARPA contract assassin Extraordinaire and the 21st Century’s leading Philosopher in the field of Aesthetics having just written a best selling book To Seek A More Beautiful World. You may have heard my great quote Some men see nightmares as they are and ask why? Others grab a machete and with beheadings end them.”

“You certainly look like Aaron Crow,” the beautiful woman asked for his autograph.

“So I’ve been told,” Pan Goatee smiled as he signed her wonderful knocker of a right breast that she whipped out from her blouse 👚, “That’s why numerous feminists boycott his magic shows. And why the Hillarybeast pledged to deport him back to Belgium 🇧🇪 his birthplace during the 2016 Presidential campaign and why she also promised to slap on a 666% tariff on Belgian waffles.”

“I love Belgian waffles,” the beautiful woman smiled as she orgasmed in her panties and turned her black mini skirt a creamy white colour.

“So do I,” Pan Goatee smiled as he orgasmed in his boxer shorts and showed a white lava pouring out of the volcano 🌋 on his Hawaiian scenery depicted boxers.

Pan Goatee then walked down the mall hallway when another ugly woman stepped in front of him.

Pan Goatee likewise beheaded her.

“God, you’re rude,” Pan Goatee said as he kicked the head into a Western Union money transfer chain franchise in the mall where radical Islamist imams transferred money to ISIS in the Middle East, “were you born and raised in a barn? I guess if you’re as ugly as you are, you probably were.”

Goatee then rounded another corner where he came face to face with another ugly woman.

He likewise beheaded her.

“Well, there goes my lunch,” Pan remarked as he vomited 🤮 all over the place even though he hadn’t yet eaten lunch.

He did however upchuck 🤮 his anti-psychotic medication (which didn’t seem to be working and never had).

On his way home, he came across two fat ugly blimps getting off the bus.

He likewise beheaded them.

“Who let the dogs out?” Pan Goatee quoted that old song.

. . .

And on the subject of serial killers, British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to speak to the London Ripperology Society (a society dedicated to the study of Jack The Ripper) on a topic of his own choice.

The Ripperologists filed in and during Renfield’s lecture, they were absolutely shocked by what he had to say.

The poster he presented on the screen at the end of his lecture summed up the theme of his talk:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 30th
2018.

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