Renfield’s Monday Night Podcast and Michelangelo’s Vision of Renfield At Future Oscars

March 28, 2022 at 10:56 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Violinist Tina Guo is performing with the Hans Zimmer Live Tour over in Europe
Hans Zimmer won Best Musical Score for the movie Dune at last night’s Oscars

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Monday night podcast.

Said Renfield, “A few days ago senile old fool Joe Biden was in Poland shooting his mouth off about “freedom” and “liberty”.
What does a vaccinazi despot like Joe Biden know about “freedom” and “liberty” when he wanted to impose a national vaccine mandate on all of America?
The senile old fool Joe Biden also called for “Putin to be removed from power”. There’s nothing like tellng the leader of a rival nuclear power that you want him removed from power.
Of course Joe Biden’s handlers want nuclear war with Russia.
That way they can reduce the world’s population without waiting for those vaccine booster shots to kick in.
Although they are doing an excellent job in my own country of England.
British government data shows that 92.2% of all Covid deaths are among the triple vaccinated.
And last week Eastern European members of the European Parliament gave visiting Canadian Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau the raspberry that he so richly deserved.
Romanian and Croatian MEPs mentioned how he sent police horses to trample peaceful protestors and then passed an Emergencies Act so that he could seize the bank accounts of people whose political views he disagreed with.
This is the stuff of dictatorship the Romanian and Croatian MEPs pointed out (who were all too familiar with Communist dictators in their own countries).
Even the Presidents of both El Salvador and Honduras have called Justin Trudeau a despot and a dictator for sending police horses to trample protestors and for seizing bank accounts.
Personally I think Justin Trudeau should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland should be burnt at the stake as a witch.
Failing that, both of them should be charged with high treason against the Charter of Rights in the Canadian Constitution (that Justin’s stepdad Pierre had put in) and then thrown in jail.
If Justin Castro Trudeau was to have his lily white ass sodomized numerous times while he was in prison,that would be the best thing that could ever happen to him.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of a future Oscars ceremony some years down the road.

Renfield had been nominated for the role of Best Actor for playing the role of Prince Hal in a Kenneth Branagh directed production of William Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1.

Michelangelo was surprised to see Renfield was married in the vision as he sat at a front table close to the stage with his wife.

A foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was to present the next award for Best Porn Film (a new Oscar category) in Michelangelo’s vision.

Foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was a former Canadian Prime Minister who had been jailed for treason for a number of years.

Despite Justin Trudeau having been such a huge asshole, believe it or not his anus was a lot bigger after it had left prison than it was before coming in.

The foul mouthed alleged comic Justin Trudeau made an obscene insulting remark about Renfield’s wife.

Renfield got up on to the stage and approached the foul mouthed comic.

“Oh, oh,” one of the Academy Awards commentators could be heard saying, “I wonder if Renfield is going to punch Justin Trudeau like Will Smith did to Chris Rock a few years back.”

Renfield reached into his pocket, pulled out a gun and blew Justin Trudeau’s head off.

Justin Trudeau lay dead on the stage in a pool of blood- his perfectly coiffured hair now a tangled mess.

“Oh, oh,” one of the other commentators said, “I wonder what can be done about this situation as Renfield was granted a 007 License To Kill by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a few years back. Maybe if he wins the Best Actor Award for his portrayal of Prince Hal in Henry IV Part 1, they’ll take the Oscar away from him.”

“Not if they want to live until the next morning, they won’t,” his commentating partner suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 28th
2022.

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Renfield Performs Comedy Video Skit At 90th Academy Awards

March 4, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Movies, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Performs Comedy Video Skit At 90th Academy Awards

Since there didn’t seem to be any rising new American politicians at the moment, the Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel decided to ask Britain’s rising new politician Renfield R. Renfield MP to perform a comedy video skit at this year’s Academy Awards that would be broadcast live via satellite transmission from London to Hollywood.

The theme for the 1 minute comedy skit that Renfield had been given was to play a character in a non-musical movie singing a song from a movie musical.

Renfield for his comedy skit decided that he’d play Christian Grey from the movie Fifty Shades of Grey singing a song Julie Andrews made famous in the musical The Sound of Music.

Renfield (as Christian Grey opening the door to the Red Room) singing,

“… Girls in white dresses all tied up with string,
these are a few of my favourite things…”

(On the floor of the Red Room were a bunch of beautiful women wearing white dresses all tied up with ropes)

Jimmy Kimmel immediately signalled to the technician to cut the live satellite 🛰 transmission from London.

Seeing as how Renfield R. Renfield was not Christian Grey, his video was deemed inappropriate for the post-Weinstein political climate of 2018 Hollywood.

Outrage on social media was immediate.

Various feminists posted Twitter tweets and Facebook statuses accusing Renfield of being misogynistic and holding patriarchal attitudes.

Sir Elton John tweeted that he enjoyed wearing white dresses and had never seen the Red Room and would Mr. Renfield please show him?

Hillary Clinton immediately made a YouTube video where she dressed up as the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini in drag and pronounced a feminist death fatwa on Renfield while writer Salman Rushdie mournfully sang the song Kumbaya in the background.

Numerous women hit Renfield with the Twitter hashtag #MeToo saying that the British MP was obviously guilty of sexually harassing women.

Since Renfield wisely did not have a Twitter account of his own (unlike some political bigmouth ignoramuses), he immediately hacked into Donald Trump’s Twitter account and responded with hashtags of his own:

@realDonaldTrump

#VirginLookingForHisFirstLay
#MeToo

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 4th
2018.

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Renfield and The Oscar Envelope Mix-up Fiasco

February 28, 2017 at 7:16 pm (Celebrities, Entertainment, Film, Movies, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield the genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human who was Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises was in the kitchen of the colossal mansion owned by his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Sitting alongside him in the kitchen was his friend and fellow employee Amadeus Emanon the genetically created personal concert pianist to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (Amadeus had been cloned from the DNA from locks of hair of composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, British actor Alan Rickman and California mass murderer Charles Manson).

Amadeus was busy working on his 12th plate of bacon and scrambled eggs and his 11th plate of pancakes smothered in Canadian maple syrup.

Upstairs the vampire Set was complaining to his butler and valet Athelstan about the increasing amount being spent on food in the household budget.

Back downstairs in the kitchen, Renfield still hadn’t finished one plate of bacon and scrambled eggs.

He was still busy reading email messages between Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Donald Trump having hacked into both countries’ secure national encrypted security systems. (more of a challenge than hacking into former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s private email server that she used when serving in that position but what the heck- challenges made life interesting).

“I noticed,” Amadeus wiped some scrambled eggs and maple syrup off his chin, “that you haven’t been around the house the past few days. Where were you?”.

“I was in Los Angeles,” Renfield took his sunglasses off and put them on the table.

“What were you doing in Los Angeles?” Amadeus asked while crunching on a slice of bacon, “Visiting the porn studios you own there?”.

“No,” Renfield put aside his autographed photos of actresses Akira Lane and Nicole Oring, “I was at the Academy Awards.”

Amadeus sat with his mouth open, “How did you manage to get in there? Were you with that bus tour group that Jimmy Kimmel brought in?”.

“Well,” Renfield started putting some pet hamster food and some ketchup atop his scrambled eggs, “if you recall, I was created with the genetic ability to be able to shapeshift into a hamster. So I just shapeshifted into a hamster and wandered all over the auditorium. On stage, backstage, in the audience,accidentally wound up in Matt Damon’s underwear (horror of horrors!) where I discovered he has a Jimmy Kimmel Loves Matt Damon and Vice-Versa heartshaped tattoo on his ass. I also managed to get into Salma Hayek’s underwear which I thoroughly enjoyed.”

“You filthy disgusting pervert,” Amadeus was shocked.

“Funny those words you just used happen to match the 10,000 most favourite sentences that other people seem to post on my Facebook timeline,” Renfield was reflective.

“Did you do anything else during the Oscars?” Amadeus asked.

“Well, while the PriceWaterhouse Coopers accountant was busy playing with a certain part of his anatomy while photographing actress Emma Stone backstage with his smart phone, I ran up and switched two red envelopes on him,” Renfield grinned broadly.

“You didn’t?” Amadeus looked horrified.

“I did,” Renfield stuck his chest out proudly, “ever since Dr. Cadbury Rocher told me at last year’s Set Enterprises’ Christmas party that part of my genetic make-up contains the DNA of Loki the Norse trickster god in Norse mythology, I am now endeavouring to become the greatest practical joker of the 21st Century.”

Amadeus lost his appetite (a rare occasion for him).

He stood up and walked over to the kitchen window.

He thought to himself that living with a kook like Renfield was like living in La La Land.

He opened the drapes of the kitchen window, noticed it was now nighttime and moonlight was starting to shine through.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 28th
2017.

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