More UK Campaign Debates With Renfield

May 26, 2017 at 4:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency campaign debate chairwoman Sherrielock Holmes (who was on loan from Sherrielock Holmes Dominatrix Services of London) had a dream last night about one of the constituency candidates Renfield R. Renfield of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

In the dream, she saw Renfield R. Renfield on television standing in the middle of a group of people posing for a photo-op.

United States President Donald Trump strolled into the group and pushed Renfield out of the way so he’d have the center spot for the photo-op.

Renfield pulled out a gun and blew Trump’s head off.

Then Sherrielock woke up.

“Well,” Sherrielock thought to herself, “Trump never better do to Renfield what he did to Montenegro’s Prime Minister Dusko Markovic at yesterday’s NATO meeting.”

Later in the day at today’s constituency campaign debate, Sherrielock Holmes, in lieu of her dream, found Renfield’s wearing a t-shirt that said BEING A PSYCHOPATH MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY somehow appropriate.

Meanwhile during the debate itself, sitting incumbent British Conservative MP Agathor Christie was getting into a violent argument with the Liberal Democratic Party candidate on a point of history.

“I must remind my Conservative opponent,” said the Liberal Democrat, “that the quote with which he just wholeheartedly agreed was originally made by Germany’s Secretary To The Fuhrer who was none other than Herr Martin Bormann.”

“Interestingly enough,” Renfield R. Renfield interjected at that point, “Martin Bormann’s original last name wasn’t Bormann but he used to tell such uninteresting stories and uninteresting anecdotes at Nazi Party meetings that the Nazi Party unanimously voted to change his last name to Bormann.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 26th
2017.

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A UK Election Campaign Debate Like No Other

May 25, 2017 at 3:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was attending his first election campaign debate in the constituency where he was running- Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds. London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes was serving as the debate chairwoman since both Renfield and sitting incumbent British Conservative MP Agathor Christie were clients of her dominatrix services.

The sponsors of the debate thought that Sherrielock could keep at least two of the six candidates running in line.

Renfield R. Renfield was of course running as the candidate for the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party in the constituency.

The debate would begin with each candidate giving a 5-minute speech talking about their past accomplishments in life.

Conservative MP Agathor Christie had to be cut short after 5 minutes by Sherrielock Holmes and he had only got up to talking about his first year in kindergarten.

When Renfield got up to speak, he said, “Here’s one of the many music videos I’ve made in my life which should give you an idea of my accomplishments.”

On the background screen behind the candidates, a video is then shown.

The video begins with a short clip of popular 1960s singer Nancy Sinatra singing one of her biggest hits.

Nancy Sinatra (singing very slowly and very sensuously the opening lines of one of her biggest hits):

Strawberries, cherries and an angel’s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
ooh- summer wine…

The short clip is then followed by a film shot of Renfield R. Renfield dressed as a beautiful looking diva female drag queen wearing an exquisite tight fitting silver sequined evening dress and singing while holding a microphone.

Renfield (singing very sensuously): Strawberries, cherries and an angel’s kiss in spring…

(He breaks into a wide broad smile)

Renfield (continues to sing very sensuously): My summer behind is really made from all these things…

(He turns around and bends over showing a magnificently big tight evening dress accentuated skirted ass that would make Kim Kardashian’s grandiosely big skirted ass Instagram whammy that broke the Internet look positively microscopic by comparison)

Renfield (still singing sensuously): ooh- summer behind…

(At that point, the debate chairwoman Sherrielock Holmes sank off her chair onto the floor overcome by a huge fit of gales of laugher)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 25th
2017.

Kim Kardashian's Magnificent Skirted Ass
Kim Kardashian’s Magnificent Skirted Ass: Only Renfield R. Renfield’s breaks the Internet better

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An Early May Evening In The Life of Agathor Christie

May 9, 2017 at 4:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds’ sitting incumbent British Conservative MP Agathor Christie was in his large comfortable Tewkesbury home.

He was waiting by the door.

Waiting for his French maid Simone to come home.

When Simone walked through the door, she was surprised to see her employer standing there.

“What are you doing standing there with such a firm look on your face, Monsieur?” Simone looked at him, “I feel like I’ve done something something naughty.”

“You have done something naughty, Simone,” Agathor Christie looked as grave as a freshly dug cemetery plot, “Very, very naughty indeed.”

“Are you going to give me a spanking, Monsieur?” Simone placed her hands protectively on her short tight skirted buttocks.

“Not tonight, Simone,” Mr. Christie continued to look as stern as the back part of a ship.

Simone managed to breathe a sigh of relief and yet intense disappointment at the same time.

“What was it that I did, Monsieur?” She asked while batting her eyelashes at him.

“I got a visit from the Acting Deputy Chief Constable of Gloucestershire County this morning,” Agathor Christie poured himself a glass of brandy, “apparently you assaulted one of my opponent rival candidates in the Nottingham Arms Pub yesterday. While I admire your attempt at being naughty in the Nottingham Arms and further hitting one of my opponents, unfortunately it spells bad publicity for me.”

“I’m sorry, Monsieur,” Simone curtsied, “I did not know he was your opponent. I just assaulted him because he had insulted the French people.”

“I’d never heard of the bloke either until I got this visit from the Acting Deputy Chief Constable,” Agathor finished his brandy and then poured himself another, “I’d never even heard of his bloody party either. Something with a multi-syllable sounding name. It sounded like something straight out of Monty Python.”

Agathor Christie was, of course, referring to Renfield R. Renfield of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party.

“May I have a brandy too, Monsieur?” Simone looked at him with an Oliver Twist approaching Mr. Bumble-like expression.

“Well, we’ll discuss your drinking on the job on another occasion, Mademoiselle Simone,” Agathor Christie said firmly.

Once again putting her hands protectively on her short tight skirted buttocks and yet smiling broadly at the same time, Simone said, “Very good, Monsieur.”

“Now, you run off to bed while I make myself a cold roast beef sandwich in the kitchen,” Agathor Christie directed.

As Christie made himself a cold roast beef sandwich, he heard a lot of banging around and noise coming from the living room.

After he had eaten his sandwich and turned off the kitchen light, he walked into the living room.

Where he noticed Simone had made quite the mess going up the stairs.

Simone The French Maid Going Up The Stairs

That woman would really need a good talking to.

Perhaps more.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 9th
2017.

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