Renfield vs. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard: The Advent of Hagane-kyu

May 8, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Vs. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard- The Advent of Hagane-kyu

It was a day like no other.

May 8th 2018.

73 years since V-E Day – the end of the Second World War in Europe.

Donald Trump announced that the U.S. was pulling out of the nuclear deal with Iran.

Israel had hit a Syrian Army base outside Damascus killing at least 9 Iranian Revolutionary Guards.

It had also put its Armed Forces on alert in the Golan Heights expecting an Iranian military attack.

Donald Trump asked DARPA’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep to send Pan Goatee to Rome to slaughter a group of Iranian Revolutionary Guards who were planning to liberate the Vatican from the control of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal and The Vampiric Knights-Templar (who unknown to the world had been holding it hostage since October 13th of last year).

Ahriman the god of evil of the old Persian Zoroastrian religion had sent jinn under his control to astrally block Pan Goatee from doing that.

With Goatee blocked, DARPA was up shit creek.

In Havana, Cuba, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was meeting and drinking champagne with the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike saying that anti-Semite promoters of Jewish conspiracy theories on the Net would quite rightly blame Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu for Trump pulling out of the Iran nuclear deal.

The emerging Middle East War would forever blacken Israel’s reputation in the rest of the world, Lilith told Pike.

Trump ordered DARPA to look elsewhere when Pan Goatee was tied up in chains and ropes by a BDSM inclined Persian female jinn.

“Find someone else who will kill those Revolutionary Guards in Rome,” Trump ordered Dr. Faustus Imhotep.

When it was discovered that British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had just been given the name Hagane-kyu (which meant “Balls of Steel” in Japanese) by a group of Japanese Ninja assassins) was in Rome, he was immediately hired by CIA operatives in Rome to kill the Revolutionary Guards.

The Guards were in hiding at the Al Capone Trident Imports and Gifts For Bugs Moran Warehouse in Rome.

Renfield went to the garage dressed as a 1920s Chicago Police Department policeman.

He carried with him the machine gun that had been given him as a gift by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the National Rifle Association.

The same machine gun of which an astral replica was made by Dr. Cadbury Rocher and carried by a Renfield holographic image who crashed the Vladimir Putin Presidential Inauguration in Moscow yesterday.

Renfield entered the warehouse and blew the Iranian Revolutionary guardsmen away to kingdom come while singing the Elvis Presley song Heartbreak Hotel as he did so.

Renfield then dropped Valentine’s Day teddy bears all over the bodies of the guardsmen.

He left singing another Elvis song, “Treat me nice, treat me good, treat me like you really should because I’m not made of wood and I don’t have a wooden heart..”

At that point, the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte entered the warehouse and revelled in all the blood on the walls and on the floor:

https://pin.it/4upi5wbf32yrjo

“It’s a real blood bath 🦇 🛀,” she laughed and used her serpentine tongue to lick up all the blood.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 8th
2018.

Permalink 26 Comments

For Whom The Bell Tolls, The Missiles Send

June 1, 2017 at 4:33 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

The mysterious beautiful Korean woman in the white gown once again visited North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un just as he was shooting people in the back of the head because he didn’t like the way they were playing his Nintendo game with him.

“I have another message for you from Ahriman,” said the mysterious Woman In White.

“The Prince of Persia,” Kim knew the correct answer this time thus avoiding an angelic kick in the ass.

“Yes,” the Woman In White smiled.

“What is it?” asked Kim as he used the Nintendo game controller to gouge out a fellow player’s eye.

“When you launch your first ICBM with a nuclear warhead you are not to target either South Korea or Japan or even the United States,” instructed the Woman In White.

“Who am I to target then?” Kim asked as he picked up a gun and shot a dove out of the sky.

The Mysterious Woman In White handed him an ancient faded parchment that had a single name of a nation written on it.

“Them?” Kim looked at the name on the document.

“Yes, them,” the woman nodded and then vanished.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 1st
2017.

Permalink 2 Comments

The Wolf Adolf, Ahriman’s Korean Envoy and King Solomon’s Ring

April 30, 2017 at 2:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The wolf formerly known as Adolf (his spirit was allowed to inhabit the body of a grey wolf after Thor, at Odin’s request, asked permission from Hades and Persephone to allow Hitler’s spirit to leave the Underworld and to return to Earth for a brief period) was reflecting that today was April 30th- the day back in 1945 when he married Eva Braun and then shot himself.

After watching a BBC TV News Documentary on the state of marriage in the contemporary western world, the wolf formerly known as Adolf wondered whether it wouldn’t be a good idea for most modern husbands to follow in his footsteps.

Over in Pyongyang, North Korea, dictator Kim Jong-un was once again visited by the mysterious beautiful Korean woman in the white gown who had visited him twice before- once in a dream and then again in reality (In reality, she had kicked him in the ass).

“Who are you?” Kim Jong-un asked the mysterious Woman In White.

“I am the messenger of Ahriman,” the woman replied.

“Who’s Ahriman?” Kim asked.

“The Prince of Persia,” the woman answered.

“Persia?” Kim scratched his head, “Oh, Iran! My ally! Along with Venezuela! But I thought my friends the mullahs in Iran had deposed the Shah and kicked out his family. How can Persia then still have a prince?”.

The Woman In White commanded Kim Jong-un to bend over and turn around whereupon she kicked him in the ass again.

In Jerusalem, the Mossad agent called the Controller of the Golem was reading the passage in the Book of Daniel about how the archangel Gabriel wrestled with the (demonic angelic) Prince of Persia for 21 days and was only able to overcome him through the assistance of the Archangel Michael and then deliver his message to Daniel.

The Controller of the Golem closed the book.

And looked over at his desk.

On his desk was a package.

Inside the package was an important artifact of ancient Hebrew history.

King Solomon’s ring.

The signet ring with the Seal of Solomon on it that gave King Solomon the power to command demons to build the Temple in Jerusalem.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 30th
2017.

Permalink Leave a Comment