They’ll Kill For Slenderman

June 4, 2014 at 5:26 pm (Commentary, Crime, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

They’ll Kill For Slenderman

At one time girls would play Barbie and Ken getting a tan
but now they’ll kill for Slenderman
or play at being a princess in a royal garden waving her fan
but now they’ll kill for Slenderman
At one time pajama parties were their most exciting plan
but now they’ll kill for Slenderman
A child’s playground has now been replaced by the Net
and Al Jolson’s words now sound like a threat,
Hey, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday June 4th 2014
based on tragic events
that happened in the town of
Waukesha Wisconsin

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Renfield Recalls Conversation With Sekhmet

May 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm (Entertainment, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Recalls Conversation With Sekhmet

As Renfield swam in the hotel swimming pool, he recalled the conversation he had last Saturday night with Sekhmet the lead female singer for the band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers after their on-stage performance at The Tropicana Nightclub.

During the performance he had looked around for any sign of the ET gray but couldn’t spot any.

After the show he went backstage and ended up talking to Sekhmet.

Renfield was still dressed in blackface having performed an impromptu Al Jolson minstrel show performance in a Chinese restaurant earlier that evening much to the horror of embattled Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

So Sekhmet naturally mistook him for an Afro-American and Renfield played along speaking in an American Deep South southern accent.

Renfield told her that his name was Merlin Houdini Johnson and that he was the shortest player on the entire Los Angeles Clippers basketball team.

Renfield said how much he enjoyed their performance and particularly her outfit.

Sekhmet said that she’d be wearing the same outfit when they performed on The Arsenio Hall Show a few days hence.

Renfield said that he really loved her fringe skirted lion mini dress and her belt with Egyptian hieroglyphs on it.

What would really give the finishing touches to her outfit, Renfield suggested, would be if she could get her hands on a genuine ET gray’s laser death ray gun and put it inside her belt while she sang.

The resulting fashion ensemble would be an out-of-this-world experience and would make the Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers performance on The Arsenio Hall Show the most talked about performance in television history ever since The Beatles first performed on The Ed Sullivan Show back in February 1964.

Sekhmet blew an eyelash when Renfield spoke these words.

As a matter of fact, Sekhmet said, as she adjusted her dress and her belt, she did know how to get her hands on a genuine ET gray’s laser death ray gun.

Splendid, splendid, Renfield temporarily reverted back to his British accent, then he’d look forward to seeing her on The Arsenio Hall Show.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 28th
2014.

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Renfield In Southern California

May 26, 2014 at 6:49 pm (Entertainment, Music, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Southern California

“A young woman’s buttocks are still stinging after a drive-by spanking that occurred at a street corner in West Hollywood last night…”

Renfield turned off the alarm clock radio in his hotel room.

Yes, he was definitely in Southern California all right.

Southern California would be the only place on Earth where such a news story would happen.

. . .

Renfield contacted an entertainment reporter he knew at KTLA Channel 5 News in Los Angeles for the scoop on Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers.

He had deduced from stories on the Internet that this band knew the whereabouts of the ET gray who crashed his UFO in the desert near Mesa, Arizona.

He learned they were playing at The Tropicana Nightclub in downtown Los Angeles.

Renfield would attend their concert tonight.

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield passed a shoe shine stand as he walked along the street.

That was interesting, Renfield thought to himself.

He had often seen shoe shine stands in old classic American movies from the ’30s, ’40s, ’50s and ’60s.

He didn’t know they still existed.

Renfield continued walking in what he presumed was the direction of The Tropicana Nightclub.

He happened to pass a Chinese restaurant where he noticed that embattled Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling was sitting and complaining in a loud voice, “Why are there so many Asians in this place?”.

This gave Renfield an idea.

He still had an hour to kill before the Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers concert at The Tropicana.

He returned to the shoe shine stand where he bought some black shoe polish from the shoe shine boy.

He then borrowed a compact mirror from a woman wearing a sexy Halloween nurse’s outfit who said her name was Akira and she was trying to find her way to West Hollywood.

Renfield replied in his British accent that he was a stranger in Los Angeles and had no idea where West Hollywood was located.

As Akira held the compact mirror for him, Renfield applied the black shoe polish to his face, neck, arms and hands.

He borrowed some rouge lipstick from her and made his lips much bigger.

He soon looked like a blackface Al Jolson about to perform in one of those minstrel shows from the 1920s.

He thanked Akira for the use of the red lipstick and the compact mirror and continued walking down the street.

He then went into the Chinese restaurant where Donald Sterling was sitting.

Upon entering the restaurant and helping himself to both a top hat and walking stick from the coat check, Renfield immediately burst into a rendition of that old Al Jolson song Mammy.

He sang (mixing up the lyrics of the two old Al Jolson songs Mammy and Swanee), “Mammy, how I love ya. How I love ya.”

He then went up to Donald Sterling and gave him a kiss on the lips.

As Renfield left the restaurant and continued down the street, he could hear the restaurant’s doorman shouting up and down the street, “Paging an ambulance for Mr. Sterling. Ambulance for Mr. Sterling.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 24th
2014.

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