Dulcinea Lucia and The Vampiric Knights-Templar

September 17, 2017 at 11:34 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Dulcinea Lucia and The Vampiric Knights-Templar

Once Private Eyes 👀 Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley decided to take the case for Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal and search for the 13 Vampiric Knights-Templar who survived French King 👑 Philip the Fair’s Friday October 13th 1307 raid on Jacques de Molay and his fellow Knights-Templars, they started where most Private Eyes would when confronted with such a case.

They went to see a gypsy fortune 🔮 teller.

And a young beautiful and sexy one at that.

Dulcinea Lucia the gypsy fortune teller of London’s Carnaby Street.

When they entered her shop, they discovered she was dressed like Elvira the popular American horror movie show hostess of the 1980s- a black evening dress slit at the sides from thigh to ankle, black silk pantyhose and black spiked stiletto high heeled shoes.

This would thus be an interview both men would enjoy.

Dulcinea Lucia told Agathor and Magog that the 13 Knights had managed to escape King Philip’s Friday the 13th raid by being in a Paris brothel at the time.

When informed of the raid, the 13 knights went south to the village of Rennes-le-Chateau in the Languedoc region of southern France 🇫🇷.

“Any idea, why there?” Agathor asked.

“One of Jesus’ cousins is buried in a grave there,” Dulcinea Lucia answered.

“The Jesus?” The Marxist atheist former Labour MP Magog raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Dulcinea Lucia answered.

“How did they become vampires?” Agathor asked.

“The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was in the village of Rennes-le-Chateau at the time,” Dulcinea Lucia answered, “she bit each man on the neck and turned them into vampires on the evening of October 23rd 1307 – 10 days after Philip the Fair’s Friday the 13th October raid on all the lodges and temples of the Knights-Templar in France.”

“And have those 13 Vampiric Knights-Templar survived since then?” Magog queried.

“7 of them were slain inside the Episcopalian Cathedral of St. John The Divine in New York City on Friday October the 13th 2006 while attending a Meatloaf concert being held at the central altar of the cathedral,” Dulcinea Lucia answered.

“The Meat Loaf?” Agathor asked.

“Yes,” Dulcinea Lucia nodded, “the one who sang Bat 🦇 Out of Hell, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad, I’d Do Anything For Love and Rock And Roll 🎸 Dreams Come Through.”

“And they had a Meat Loaf concert right at the central altar?” Asked Magog who had visited the Episcopal Cathedral of Saint John The Divine in New York City with Agathor on their recent U.S. trip where they had encountered Shiva the Hindu god of destruction and transformation at that very same central altar.

“It was more of a Knights-Templar Illuminati satanic ceremony where they were going to sacrifice Meat Loaf to the Baphomet because Baphomet wanted both a singer and a meatloaf dish for his birthday so the Illuminati and the Knights-Templar were going to give him a 2 for 1 special,” Dulcinea Lucia opened her book of meatloaf recipes.

“And you said that 7 of the Vampiric Knights Templar were slain at that Friday the 13th October 2006 Meatloaf sacrifice ceremony in the Episcopal Cathedral of Saint John The Divine?” Agathor questioned.

“Yes, the 7 who attended the ceremony,” Dulcinea smoothed her dress, “the other 6 were still in their New York City 🌃 hotel rooms recovering from severe hangovers the night before- hangovers that saved their lives in the long run.”

“Who slew the 7 Vampire Knights that attended the ceremony?” Agathor asked.

“That was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the mighty Lakota Sioux vampire huntress Jennifer Cochran,” Dulcinea Lucia smiled, “both of them were Meat Loaf fans.”

“Of the singer or the dish?” Magog inquired.

“Both,” Dulcinea Lucia smiled and winked.

A bell went off in the kitchen behind her gypsy 🔮 ball reading room.

“If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen,” Dulcinea Lucia stood up, “my own meatloaf is ready. Unless you care to join me.”

They did.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 17th
2017.

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Vampiress Priestess of Baal Hires Two London Private Eyes

September 13, 2017 at 6:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Vampiress Priestess of Baal Hires Two London Private Eyes

Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were both sitting in their newly opened London office.

Agathor Christie had been the sitting incumbent British Conservative MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds until he got defeated by British Transhumanist Party candidate Renfield R. Renfield in this past June’s UK 🇬🇧 General Election.

Magog Rhys Petley had been been the sitting incumbent British Labour MP for the constituency of Newbridge in Wales until he got defeated by British Transhumanist Party candidate Morgana Fay Lee in this past June’s UK 🇬🇧 General Election.

Since both men (although from different parties) had lost their respective parliamentary seats to candidates for the up and coming British Transhumanist Party, they decided to take a post-defeat consolation tour of the U.S. together.

Now back in London, both men decided to open up a private detective firm together since it turned out that, as children, both had loved reading Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe private eye novels and stories.

After officially opening the office and helping themselves to both bourbon 🥃 and cigars, they sat back in their respective comfortable leather upholstered mahogany armchairs and waited for their first client to walk through the door.

The story on BBC World News they watched on the office television was about a Kraken rising out of Lake Okanagan in British Columbia’s Okanagan Valley and walking through a grape 🍇 and wine 🍷 orchard near the city of West Kelowna and eating grapes 🍇 and drinking bottles of wine.

It then grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary as Our Lady of Lourdes from the orchard gardens and took the statue with him back into the lake.

The vineyard owner speculated that the Kraken might be the lake’s famed sea serpent lake monster Ogopogo who was said to have haunted the lake for centuries.

“Certainly a lot of krakens rising up all over the place these days,” Agathor quipped.

“There are,” Magog quickly downed his glass of bourbon, “nasty business that.”

“I wonder if some beautiful woman femme fatale will walk in through the door wearing a tight fitting dress like always happens in Philip Marlowe stories?” Agathor asked as he polished off his glass of bourbon.

“I wonder,” Magog re-filled his glass.

At that moment, a beautiful dark haired and dark eyed woman wearing a tight fitting Phoenician purple evening dress and a diamond 💎 necklace with the diamonds cut into the shape of human skulls around her neck walked into their office with the sharp click of spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes 👠.

“I am the Vampiress Allatallahbel the Priestess of Baal,” said the incredibly sexy and beautiful female figure standing in front of them, “I’m here to hire you to find the last of the band of 13 Vampiric Knights-Templar -13 individuals who were the sole escaping survivors of French King Philip the Fair’s Friday October 13th 1307 raid on Jacques de Molay and his fellow Knights-Templar.”

“Well that answers the question you asked a few minutes ago,” Magog addressed Agathor as he finished yet another glass of bourbon.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 13th
2017.

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Recep Tayyip Erdogan and The Vampiress Priestess of Baal

September 2, 2017 at 3:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was pacing the halls of his Presidential Palace.

Back in April, the Turkish leader had sent His Majesty King Abdullah II of Jordan a letter demanding that custodianship of the Haram al-Sharif and all Islamic holy sites in Jerusalem be transferred to him Recep Tayyip Erdogan when he the said Recep became the new Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire.

And of all the audacious things in the world, King Abdullah II of Jordan had still not bothered to answer him back and it was now September.

The man should really be beheaded, Recep thought to himself as he cut a head of lettuce in two with a meat cleaver.

“Good evening, your Majesty,” a sensuous feminine voice spoke behind him.

Recep turned.

Standing there was a beautiful dark-haired dark skinned and dark eyed woman wearing a purple evening dress.

Around her neck was a diamond necklace.

The diamonds were cut in the shape and form of human skulls.

“Well, I’m not the Sultan just yet,” Recep blushed, “Ummm… who are you by the way?”.

“I am the Vampiress Allatallahbel the Priestess of Baal,” she approached him.

“Baal?” Recep scratched his head, “Wasn’t he an ancient Canaanite deity?”.

“He was,” Allatallahbel stood inches away from his throat.

“Ummm… what do you want with me?” Recep asked.

“I’m here to help make you…” she smiled and showed her large vampiric incisors.

“To help make me…?” Recep was starting to feel visibly uncomfortable.

“Sultan,” she smiled at him.

“Oh, Sultan,” he laughed and adjusted his collar, “of course.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 2nd
2017.

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Solomon and The Temple of Baal At Palmyra

April 18, 2016 at 8:05 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Solomon and The Temple of Baal At Palmyra

“And Solomon built Tadmor in the wilderness, and all the store cities, which he built in Hamath.”

-II Chronicles 8:4

“When he (Solomon) had therefore built this city, and encompassed it with very strong walls, he gave it the name Tadmor; and that is the name it is still called by at this day among the Syrians; but the Greeks name it Palmyra.”

-Josephus, Antiquities of The Jews Book VIII, 6:1

“Palmyra was in ancient times an important city of central Syria, located in an oasis 215 kilometers northeast of Damascus and 120 kilometers southwest of the Euphrates. It has long been a vital caravan city for travelers crossing the Syrian desert and was known as the Bride of the Desert. The Greek name for the city Palmyra is a translation of its original Aramaic name Tadmor which means “palm tree”. Tadmor is today the name of a small city next to the ancient ruins of Palmyra and is heavily dependent on tourism. The ancient site of Palmyra is itself an UNESCO World Heritage Site.”

-Tourist Brochure About Palmyra, Syria prior to the outbreak of the Syrian Civil War in 2011.

King Solomon stood and surveyed the city that he was building- the city of Tadmor (the city that would later be called by the Greeks Palmyra).

Night was approaching.

A full moon was rising.

A beautiful dark-haired dark skinned and dark eyed woman approached him.

She was wearing a beautiful purple evening dress- slit at the sides and low-cut at the front.

A necklace of diamonds cut in the shape and form of human skulls hung around her neck.

“Thou art Solomon the wisest of the wise?” She asked as she stood before him.

“I am,” Solomon answered.

“I am Allatallahbel the Priestess of Baal,” she curtsied in front of him making sure he caught a glimpse of her ample and succulent breasts.

“What can I do for you, Allatallahbel?” Solomon shifted uncomfortably in his robes.

“I wish you to build in this city a temple to Baal that’s as splendid as your Temple to your god Yahweh in your city of Jerusalem,” she answered.

“Well,” he answered, “why should I do that?”.

“This night, I shall give you six hundred and sixty-six good reasons why you should do that,” she approached and rubbed her thigh against his.

“Six hundred and sixty-six eh?” Solomon breathed deeply, “that’s a lot of reasons.”

The next morning after Allatallahbel had given Solomon her 666 reasons, she stroked his head in her arms, “Art thou convinced?”.

“I am,” Solomon had to agree.

“Any other woman give you so many reasons to do something?” Allatallahbel laughed.

“One,” Solomon answered.

“Really?” Allatallahbel became jealous, “who?”.

“Her name was Isis,” Solomon recalled, “she was the wife of the architect Hiram Abiff who helped build my Temple.”

(For more on Isis and who Hiram Abiff really was, please read:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2011/03/06/isis-and-solomon/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2015/01/31/osiris-in-rome/

)

“I see,” Allatallahbel stared angrily at the morning sunrise.

“Art thou angry?” Solomon kissed her on the lips, “let me show you my master mason’s tool again. That should make you happy.”

“You say her name is Isis?” Allatallahbel ate some lobster which she gave to Solomon and he likewise did eat even though it was forbidden him as an Israelite to do so.

“Yes,” Solomon nodded.

After she had eaten the lobster meat, Allatallahbel stood and showed her magnificent nude form and then spake and prophesied, “This magnificent Temple to Baal that you shall build in this city, o Solomon, one day replicas to it shall be built in cities all over the world and then Baal shall come.”

“Really?” Solomon rubbed what he felt was an itchy invisible third eye in his forehead.

“Yes, and it will all be due to…” Allatallahbel laughed.

“Due to who?” Solomon asked.

“Due to ISIS,” Allatallahbel laughed like the demons of Hell, “Thou evil woman, who darest to trespass on what should have been mine, thy name shall be as mud and darkened and vilified.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 18th
2016.

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