Athelstan The Valet Listens To Portions of Renfield’s Podcast

September 22, 2022 at 11:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera listens to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

She was horrified by the possibility that Russian President Vladimir Putin might launch a nuclear attack on the West.

Renfield seemed to have insider information from Russia as well as knowing the contents of the Third Secret of Fatima (whose text the Vatican claimed to have released back in 2000 but they lied. They only released a vision associated with the secret not the secret itself).

Hera decided she must do something.

She didn’t want to see the destruction of planet Earth.

She got in touch with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I.

Theodora had been turned into a vampiress on June 28th 548 AD by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Otherwise Theodora would have died from cancer.

“Hello,” Theodora picked up her phone at her estate in Athens, Greece.

. . .

Senile old fool Joe Biden was not listening to Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

He was sniffing the needles on his marijuana smoking cactus planet which inhaled marijuana cigarettes and then exhaled marijuana smoke.

Biden believed the cactus needles were the hair of The Woman In Green.

The Woman In Green was the name of a 1945 Universal Pictures Sherlock Holmes film with Basil Rathbone as Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Dr. Watson that he watched on late night television last night.

“Mr. President,” one of his aides entered the Oval Office.

“Ow,” Joe pricked his nose on a cactus needle, “What is it?”.

“The wealthy residents of Martha’s Vineyard are once again complaining about immigrants being sent there,” his aide said.

“Who’s sending immigrants this time?” Biden wiped his nose with a used diaper, “Ron DeSantis or Greg Abbot?”.

“Greg Abbott the Governor of Texas,” his aide answered, “But this recent batch of immigrants are different. These are zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors recently raised from the dead in Mexico by a South African witch doctor at the behest of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec who’s the goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (whom Utah Sen. Mitt Romney being Mormon thinks is the person of Jesus Christ when he visited the Americas according to Mormon teaching).”

“Why did Qonzilqointec send these zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors across the Mexico-U.S. border anyways?” Biden asked. “And does this Qonzilqointec have nice hair? Is it worth sniffing?”.

“Qonzilqointec is very beautiful, she does have nice hair and it probably is worth sniffing,” his aide explained.

“This new King Charles III of England was quite cranky when I sniffed the flowers on his mother’s coffin quite intently as the cameras looked away,” Biden recalled, “He asked me what the Hell I was doing? It was quite sad that it was a closed casket funeral. I quite enjoyed sniffing Her Majesty’s hair when she was alive. I wonder if…”

“Mr. President, to answer your 1st question,” his aide interjected, “The reason Qonzilqointec sent these living dead Aztec warriors across the border was to re-annex parts of the U.S. to a revived Aztec Empire.”

“But I don’t think Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts was ever part of the Aztec Empire,” Joe Biden reflected.

“It is now,” another aide entered the room.

. . .

Athelstan the butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was doing his daily housecleaning duties around the Set Estate mansion.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who lived in the mansion) was doing his Thursday night podcast from his bedroom.

Athelstan occasionally listened in before going on to his next cleaning job.

As he passed the room, he heard Renfield say, “They are a bunch of Belgian waffles who have fruits all over them…”

“Is Renfield talking about breakfast?” Athelstan asked Amadeus Emanon as he walked by.

“No,” Athelstan shook his head, “I think he’s talking about the Belgian Conference of (supposedly) Catholic Bishops who have voted to approve blessing gay unions.”

Athelstan dusted Set’s statue of Napoleon.

He walked by Renfield’s room where he heard Renfield say, “The Vatican is a Communist craphole…”

When he finished dusting Set’s nude statue of Pauline Borghese as Venus Victrix, he passed Renfield’s room again where Renfield asked, “What does Joe Biden have in common with the Vatican?”.

When he had finished dusting the statue of Queen Cleopatra, again he passed Renfield’s room where Renfield said, “Meanwhile in other news, U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris is bitching that a group of zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors have taken over her house…”

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Thursday September 22nd
2022.

Permalink 14 Comments

Amadeus Emanon On The Day of The Queen’s Funeral

September 19, 2022 at 10:40 pm (History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Grandchildren of Her Majesty standing vigil for The Queen this past Saturday night

Professional concert pianist Amadeus Emanon and his two friends Angelique Dumont and Dulcinea Lucia had spent the day standing along the streets of central London watching the Queen’s funeral procession from Westminster Hall to Westminster Abbey and then her burial procession from Westminster Abbey to Windsor Castle.

When the processions were over, the trio retreated to a pub The George and Dragon to discuss the day’s events.

“Where was your friend the MP Renfield R. Renfield?” Dulcinea Lucia asked Amadeus, “I thought he would have joined us at both processions.”

“He was present in person at both the funeral and burial services for Her Majesty,” Amadeus answered.

“What?” Dulcinea was incredulous, “How does the leader of a party that has only two seats in the Westminster House of Commons end up getting invited to both those services?”.

“He once saved one of the Queen’s Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool,” Amadeus replied.

“That would do it all right,” Dulcinea had to admit.

“One final toast,” Amadeus raised his glass of ale, “To Her late Majesty The Queen.”

“To Her late Majesty The Queen,” Angelique Dumont and Dulcinea Lucia likewise raised their glasses of ale.

Outside the pub, a lone kilted bagpiper walked by playing a Scottish Regiment’s Final Farewell Post.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Monday September 19th
2022.

Permalink 27 Comments

From Key Largo To Mar-A-Lago

August 9, 2022 at 10:17 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Actress Claire Trevor won the 1948 Best Supporting Actress Award for her portrayal of former nightclub singer Gaye Dawn in the 1948 film Key Largo that starred Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall and Edward G. Robinson

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.

He was watching the 1948 film Key Largo on his waterproof 72 inch wide flat screen TV.

He was doing so on the recommendations of his good friends British MP Renfield R. Renfield and world-renowned concert pianist Amadeus Emanon.

In one scene as Claire Trevor’s character of Gaye Dawn stood smoking a cigarette in the lobby of the Hotel Largo,

Edward G. Robinson’s character of mobster Johnny Rocco orders hostage Frank McCloud (Humphrey Bogart) to turn on the radio while hostage Nora Temple (Lauren Bacall) paints her fingernails an indeterminate colour as the film was shot in black and white.

After McCloud turned the radio on, the film version that Michelangelo was watching suddenly took a strange sci-fi twist as the radio of the lobby of the Hotel Largo in Key Largo, Florida in 1948 picked up a news story from the year 2022.

Said the radio announcer, “U.S. President Joe Biden just can’t help himself. Joe Biden was eager to fondle girls and sniff hair after being cooped up for two weeks in Covid isolation in the White House.
Biden arrived in Lexington, Kentucky Monday morning to survey damage from the recent floods that the trio of Al Gore, Pope Francis and Bill Gates blamed on global warming, climate change and the refusal of the American worker to eat bugs for breakfast, lunch and supper.
A maskless Joe Biden repeatedly coughed into his hand as he sat next to Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear (Democrat) at a press conference.
Beshear leaned away from Biden as the President continuously hacked into his hand.
First Lady Jill Biden hovered over Joe to make sure he stayed in line as they visited families impacted by the Kentucky floods.
But Joe just couldn’t keep his paws off of young women.
Creepy Joe even sniffed a woman’s hair.”

In an action that wasn’t even mentioned in the original Key Largo movie script written by director John Huston and screenplay writer Richard Brooks, Johnny Rocco went completely beserk and shot and killed all of the Hotel Largo hostages (thus bringing the movie to a sudden and abrupt end) because he couldn’t believe that a pervert such as Joe Biden could ever be elected President of the United States.

Michelangelo picked up the remote with one of his lobster claws and shut off the TV.

From a nearby room, he could hear Set Enterprises’ scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Tuesday night podcast.

Said Renfield, “Yesterday Neo-Bolshevik Communist operatives in the American FBI raided Donald Trump’s home at the Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida…”

Michelangelo adjusted his waterproof blankets and patted his waterproof pillow and picked up a copy of the book Phil Huston’s Tales To Battle Insomnia off his nightstand.

The lobster immediately fell asleep after reading the first sentence of the first chapter.

He had a dream (or was it a vision?) of the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate.

He saw that the ghosts of Lavrentiy Beria (head of Josef Stalin’s NKVD Soviet secret police) and Jeffrey Epstein (pervert extraordinaire and close friend and bum buddy of influential politicians and globalist billionaires alike) were the ones leading the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid on the Mar-a-Lago estate.

What, Michelangelo wondered, were Beria and Epstein doing leading an FBI raid on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate?

Meanwhile Donald Trump was having a phone conversation with his daughter Ivanka about the raid.

Said Donald to Ivanka, “I’m glad I left my dirty underwear in my safe. That will serve those Commie bastards in the FBI right as they sift through my underwear.”

Ivanka answered, “So you were able to keep all your dirty underwear in a single safe? I don’t think all of the safes in all of Fort Knox would be able to hold all of Joe Biden’s dirty underwear.”

Meanwhile in the Oval Office…

PLOOP !

Voice of Joe Biden (whining) : “Kamala, come change me…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 9th
2022.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Eugenio Scalfari Dead At The Age of 98

July 14, 2022 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Obituaries, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was meeting in a coffee shop with his friend Amadeus Emanon’s pastor the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London.

They were discussing today’s death of Italian atheistic journalist Eugenio Scalfari at the age of 98.

Scalfari was the co-founder of the influential Italian newspaper La Repubblica and was its editor from 1976 to 1996.

He continued to work as a journalist and write articles and do interviews even after he retired as editor.

Scalfari was most famous for doing interviews with Pope Francis.

Jorge Mario Bergoglio seemed to enjoy giving intimate personal interviews to Scalfari.

Scalfari took no notes during these interviews and relied on memory he said.

Thus Jorge Mario Bergoglio could theoretically have an out when Scalfari’s articles said that Francis during these interviews had denied the existence of Hell, the Divinity of Christ and His Bodily Resurrection.

However when concerns were raised about these issues by numerous Catholic faithful, not once did the Vatican ever issue a statement from Francis himself that the pontiff categorically denied the claims that Scalfari attributed to him.

“I do not know if Scalfari accepted Christ on his deathbed,” said Father Bury Saint Edmunds, “but if he didn’t and Scalfari’s soul was lost, Bergoglio has a lot to answer for in not preaching the Gospel to him. A man who is a priest and even more so a bishop has a lot to answer for from God in how he handles souls under his care.”

“But if Bergoglio didn’t really believe in the existence of Hell, Christ’s Divinity or His Bodily Resurrection,” Renfield noted, “He really wouldn’t feel inclined to preach the Gospel to Scalfari, would he?”.

“That’s a good point,” Father Saint Edmunds admitted.

“What are those little cards with pictures on them that you’ve got in front of you, Father?” Renfield asked.

“They’re prayer cards,” Father Saint Edmunds answered.

“And what are those pictures of?” Renfield inquired.

“Well this picture is of Jesus with His Sacred Heart, this is a picture of Saint Stephen who was the Christian Church’s first martyr, this is a picture of Saint James the Apostle and this is a picture of Saint Christopher carrying the Christ Child across a stream,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds replied.

“May I have those prayer cards, Father?” Renfield asked.

“Certainly,” the priest handed the MP the cards.

In another corner of the cafe, the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka sat watching.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 14th
2022.

Permalink 8 Comments

From Fay Wray Atop The Empire State Building To Elmo On Sesame Street

July 6, 2022 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Fay Wray who was originally from Cardston, Alberta, Canada played Ann Darrow who was King Kong’s love interest in the 1933 film King Kong

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was watching the 1933 film King Kong on television.

Upon hearing the line at the end of the film “It was Beauty killed the Beast”, Renfield commented, “That line would be considered politically incorrect today. It would be considered offensive to beheading victims of Pan Goatee.”

Renfield was to appear later today to give a talk to children at a London public library.

Apparently some parents had complained about Drag Queen Reading Story Hour at the library.

And last night a Drag Queen who was also a Boris Johnson impersonator read a story.

The sight of someone who looked like Boris Johnson wearing a gold evening dress, 6 inch black eyelashes and 6 inch red painted fingernails had apparently traumatized all the children present.

Someone in charge of the public library decided that it would be a good idea if this evening Renfield was invited to give a talk to children.

As Renfield arrived at the library with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, a British National Health Service nurse was just finishing her talk to the children in which she said that last week Sesame Street’s Elmo had been vaccinated against Covid-19.

“How many here want to be like Elmo?” The nurse asked.

All of the children put up their hands.

Renfield whispered something to Michelangelo.

The lobster nodded and left the auditorium.

“And now dear children,” the head librarian announced, “I’d like to present a Member of the British Parliament Mr. Renfield R. Renfield.”

Renfield got up to the podium and started to sing the song I Am The Very Model of the Modern Major-General from the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta The Pirates of Penzance.

Sang Renfield,

“I am the very model of the modern Major-General
I’ve information vegetable, animal and mineral
I know the Kings of England, and I quote the fights Historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters Mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the Hypotenuse…

… I’m very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous…”

At that moment an animalculous being belonging to the Nephropidae family (i.e. Michelangelo) went up to Renfield and handed him a note with his right lobster claw.

“Dear children,” Renfield addressed them with a sad and solemn expression on his face, “I’ve just been informed that an hour ago Elmo from Sesame Street died of a massive heart attack.”

All the children gasped in horror.

Renfield went on, “In Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, I’m not going to talk about the fact that what just happened to Elmo has happened to people all over the world after they’ve taken the vaccine. No, I’m not going to talk about that. I’m not going to mention, in Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, that young athletes in particular have suddenly dropped dead after taking the vaccine. No, I’m not going to mention that. Also, in Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, I’m not going to talk about the fact that the number of still births has risen dramatically in the world ever since expectant mothers were given the vaccine. No, I’m not going to talk about that. And likewise, in Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, I’m not going to mention that Israeli and UK statistics show that your chances of dying from Covid are greater if you got the vaccine than if you didn’t. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

Amadeus whispered to Renfield, “I think you’ve traumatized the children.”

“Well it’s never too early to let children know that Big Government, Big Pharma and the brainless mainstream media are a bunch of lying sons of bitches,” Renfield answered.

“Who wants to be like Elmo now?” Renfield asked the children.

No show of hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Wednesday, July 6th
2022.

Permalink 9 Comments

Remembering Meat Loaf: Amadeus’ Tribute

January 21, 2022 at 10:28 pm (Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, music videos, Plays, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Singer Meat Loaf (September 27th 1947 – January 20th 2022) Known for his album Bat Out of Hell and his hit song I’d Do Anything For Love

Amadeus Emanon had just heard the news that one of his music idols Meat Loaf had just died at the age of 74.

He decided to do a tribute in his memory.

Amadeus who was a musician, a singer and an actor contacted some of his friends on social media about it this Friday night.

They went down to St. James’s Park and acted out Amadeus’ improvisationally written play.

The play began with a High Priest (who practiced satanism in private but was a respected ecclesiastical figure in public) who was plotting the death of a man who was a threat to him.

The high priest said to one of his subordinates, “We’ll track him down. We’ll get him through his weakest link. His youngest follower.”

The Apostle John (played by Amadeus) was approached by a girl (played by Angelique Dumont) he once knew.

The girl kissed him and asked him to love her.

As John slowly succumbed to the girl, the girl then made a request.

And Amadeus replied, “I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.”

Amadeus then began singing the song lyrics,

“And I would do anything for love but I won’t do that…”

He sang the lyrics up until the lines

“Some nights you’re like nothing I’ve ever seen before
or will again…”

Amadeus as the young Apostle John turns away from the girl played by Angelique.

John (Amadeus) then turns to a fellow actor who’s playing Jesus,

“And maybe I’m crazy
Oh it’s crazy and it’s true
I know you can save me
No one else can save me now but you…

That I would do anything for love
I’ll be there till the final act.”

John (Amadeus) bows to Jesus and then turned back to the girl he had known,

“I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.”

The scene then turns back to the satanic High Priest, “So much for the theory about who I thought was the weakest link…”

The High Priest is then approached by Judas Iscariot who sells out Christ for thirty pieces of silver.

The Apostle Paul had it right when he said, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 21st
2022.

Permalink 23 Comments

Pope Francis On Pfizer and UFOs and ETs

January 15, 2022 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“Will Pope Francis make a statement on UFOs and ETs this year?” Amadeus asked Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of St. Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. Of E. Parish Church.

“He may,” Father Bury Saint Edmunds nodded.

The two continued their walk down the Thames.

“How much does the Vatican know about UFOs and ETs?” Amadeus inquired.

“I really don’t know,” Father Bury Saint Edmunds replied, “We can only speculate.”

. . .

It had come to the attention of SNN (Set News Network) that Pope Francis had held two secret meetings in 2021 with Albert Bourla the CEO of Pfizer.

Unlike most papal private audiences, these meetings were not announced by the Holy See Press Office.

Interestingly enough, Francis had also secretly received Melinda Gates in November 2019 just before the Covid hysteria began.

A month after Pope Francis had welcomed a wooden statue of Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess into the Vatican Gardens and into Saint Peter’s Basilica.

. . .

Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai worked in the Antiquities Section of the Vatican Museum, headed the Rome chapter of the O.T.O. (Ordo Templi Orientis) an Aleister Crowleyite organization and served as an advisor on papal liturgies for the Mass to Pope Francis.

He was currently meeting with Pope Francis on setting up the basis for a United Federation of Planets when contact with ETs and UFOs was finally made.

Francis proposed that the United Federation of Planets should have as its symbol the UN symbol around a familiar earthling symbol.

. . .

As Amadeus and Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds continued their walk along the Thames, they encountered Psyche of Cupid and Psyche fame.

Psyche had been worshipped by the ancient Greeks as the Greek goddess of the soul.

Said Psyche, “There’s a connection between Luciferase and UFOs/aliens.”

Cupid had an arrow dipped in Hydra’s poisonous blood and fired it at Psyche.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 15th
2022.

Permalink 10 Comments

Renfield Addresses UK Catholic Parents Conference

January 12, 2022 at 11:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to address the UK Catholic Parents Conference.

The President of the UK Catholic Parents Conference Mr. Finnegan Nyet Awake had been asked to select a speaker for tonight’s conference.

While under the influence of seven glasses of Scotch whisky, Finnegan decided on MP Renfield totally oblivious to the fact that the Vatican would definitely not approve of his choice.

Renfield began his speech to the UK Catholic Parents Conference this way,

“Do you remember? Do you remember when “the Pope” wasn’t a lurid yellow-teethed ghoul who wanted to destroy the Mass and put you and your family in a quarantine camp? I remember. God bless Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. One who did not have the Seat of Saint Peter purchased for him by George Soros. I’d like to start my address by reading a recently discovered addendum added to the list of anathemas of the Council of Trent (1545-1563). The addendum, lost for centuries until now, reads thus, “If any whose name be Jorge Mario Bergoglio, let him be anathema…”

. . .

The anchorman for the Set News Network (SNN) read the following news headline,

“The UK’s own government data shows that 286% more deaths occurred among the vaccinated than among the unvaccinated…”

. . .

Meanwhile at a Ronald McDonald House in Vancouver British Columbia, a family whose 4-year-old son is being treated for leukemia are being evicted from the facility (a charity that provides a temporary home to pediatric cancer patients and their families free of charge while they’re being treated at local hospitals) because they’re not vaccinated against Covid-19.
Said the boy’s father, “This is some kind of crazy evil like I’ve never seen in my life.”
Shortly after the boy’s father made the statement, holographic images of Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Pol Pot, Justin Trudeau, Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels, CNN’s Jim Acosta, Dr. Josef Mengele and Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared outside the Vancouver Ronald McDonald House holding up a huge banner that read, “WE ARE NOT EVIL.”

. . .

As Amadeus Emanon sat at the back of the auditorium, his friend Renfield was delivering the final line of his speech to the UK Catholic Parents Conference,

“The fact that there’s a Highway To Hell and only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers.”

Amadeus thought sadly about one of his favourite singers Ronnie Spector the lead singer of The Ronettes who died today at the age of 78.

Ronnie Spector the lead singer of The Ronettes

Amadeus said a silent prayer that Ronnie Spector was on that Stairway To Heaven following in the footsteps of actor Sidney Poitier who left this earthly existence a few days ago.

Holographic images in front of Ronald McDonald House in Vancouver heard the AC/DC song Highway To Hell played in back of them.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 12th
2022.

Permalink 4 Comments

Amadeus and Angelique In The Sherlock Holmes Pub

January 11, 2022 at 9:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Concert pianist/singer/musician Amadeus Emanon was having dinner with his girlfriend New Orleans singer/songstress Angelique Dumont in The Sherlock Holmes Pub.

They watched a Renfield R. Renfield podcast which was often shown in the pub when it was on.

“A pathology report prepared by Sucharit Bhakdi MD and Arne Burkhardt MD in the U.S. shows that 93% of people who died after being vaccinated were killed by the vaccine,” Renfield started out.

“Hah,” a “fact checker” for Reuters news agency started laughing, “I just got my third booster shot today.”

He then keeled over.

A paramedic team brought in to save him couldn’t revive him after his major cardiac arrest.

He would never write another lying and inaccurate “fact check” again.

“And in other news,” Renfield carried on, “The Canadian province of Alberta’s Chief Medical Officer Dr. Deena Hinshaw admitted that Alberta Health Services have manipulated the numbers during this pandemic. Hinshaw admitted that AHS reported non-ICU patients as ICU patients throughout the pandemic.”

Putting aside the triple AAA Alberta steak he had been eating, Renfield then started eating poutine.

“Moving from Alberta eastwards to Quebec,” Renfield went on, “Quebec Premier Francois Legault announced that he would impose a health care tax on the unvaccinated.”

Renfield then called for the assassination of Quebec’s Premier.

“If Renfield gets his way, there won’t be many politicians left on the Earth,” Angelique Dumont remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 11th
2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

Some Renfieldian Mischief On A November Day

November 11, 2021 at 10:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was flying over America in one of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airships named The Robert E. Lee.

The name of the ship was lit up in neon so as to positively offend all “woke” and cancel culture individuals on the ground below.

Renfield was performing acts of mischief.

He had hacked into a computerized video presentation being held at a military academy for army cadets.

The academy would apparently be visited by senile old fool Joe Biden next week and the instruction video was showing the cadets how to perform a 21-gun salute.

The video was showing actual footage of another military academy giving a 21-gun salute to Biden.

Renfield had hacked into the video’s audio making the narrator sound like the narrator of one of those old 1950s public service style films that were shown to school kids during Film period in schools.

Renfield had also written his own script for the 1950s style Film narrator to deliver.

As the video started with Biden approaching the assembly of military cadets on the martial drill grounds, the 1950s narrator began his narration of the instructional video being shown to this cadre of cadets,

“Joe Biden is America’s Pooper-In-Chief. As Carly Simon might put it in a theme song for a James Bond movie, “Nobody does it better…”
Yes, whether it’s extending geetings to the Pope or letting America’s middle class and workers know what he actually thinks of them, Joe is the sort of man who’s willing to show the world exactly what he’s full of.”

As Joe Biden in the video went and stood on the dais with which he would view the honour guard as the 21-gun salute sounded, Renfield’s 1950s style film narrator continued, “And it is from this vantage point that Joe Biden will drop a 21-load salute in his pants…”

The video finally came to a screeching halt as the Drill Sargeant screamed “Off!” and cadets were rolling around on the floor in huge gales of laughter.

Renfield then had the dirigible flown over Saint John, New Brunswick where he did a podcast broadcasting to residents below.

“Saint John New Brunswick is the home of 52-year-old Canadian cardiologist Dr. Sohrab Lutchmedial who spent most of 2021 insulting the unvaccinated,” Renfield explained, “Lutchmedial told the unvaccinated only weeks ago, “I won’t cry at your funeral” and now he himself has kicked the bucket two weeks after his 3rd mRNA injection shot.”

Then Renfield added, “Might I suggest giving this fool the posthumous raspberry he so richly deserves by bringing New Year’s Eve party horns and bells and a bunch of Whoopie! cushions to his funeral.”

As Renfield flew back across the Atlantic, already the British Foreign Office was receiving numerous complaints from both Washington DC and Ottawa over the MP’s North American visit.

Angelique Dumont said to her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon (who was Renfield’s best friend), “I can’t believe there’s anybody in the world like Renfield.”

To which Amadeus responded, “In these times in which we live, if Renfield didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 11th
2021.

A poster for James Cameron’s 1997 film Titanic outside a London repertory film theatre which had been retouched by Renfield.

Permalink 10 Comments

Next page »