Spiderman At Pope Francis’ Wednesday General Audience

June 23, 2021 at 10:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was standing at the door of the Set Mansion.

He had just received via courier delivery a package from the Royal Jordanian Embassy in London.

The package contained a pen that had been sent to him as a gift by King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan who were friends of his.

“What a lovely looking pen,” Amadeus Emanon commented as he went out the door, “I could use a pen like that to fill out all the forms that I’ll probably have to fill out at HM Revenue and Customs today.”

“Why don’t you take it with you?” Renfield suggested as he handed him the pen.

“Thanks,” Amadeus hopped into a waiting taxi.

Renfield’s smart phone then rang.

It was Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit secret agent Miranda Singh calling.

Apparently the Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit had discovered a plot by Communist China’s Ministry of State Security (MSS) to assassinate Renfield.

The plot involved sending a package that was postmarked with the stamp of the Royal Jordanian Embassy in London but was really a counterfeit stamp.

The package would contain a pen that was supposedly a gift from King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan but was really a Final Farewell gift from Xi Jinping.

When one clicked the pen, a bomb would explode.

“My God,” said Renfield, “I lent that pen to Amadeus. He’s gone down to an HM Revenue and Customs Office with it.”

Renfield thanked Miranda Singh for the information and then headed out the door.

He jumped into his 1953 Jaguar XK 120 roadster

and took off.

As Renfield raced through the streets of London to get to the HM Revenue and Customs Office before Amadeus did, he ran over an intersectional feminist who was foolishly standing in the middle of an intersection.

When he arrived at the HM Revenue and Customs office, he grabbed Amadeus just as he was going up the steps.

“Amadeus,” Renfield exclaimed, “Don’t click that pen I lent you. It contains a bomb.”

“Really?” Amadeus blinked, “I just gave that pen to my Inland Revenue auditor as he was going up the steps. He said he was in need of a pen prior to our appointment.”

An explosion was heard coming from inside the building.

“I have the feeling you’ll soon be getting a new Inland Revenue auditor,” Renfield stated.

. . .

In Nashville, Tennessee, First Lady Jill Biden scolded Tennesseans for not getting vaccinated.

“Only three in ten Tennesseans are vaccinated,” she whined before telling the crowd of ten people who showed up to hear her that the vaccine was safe.

“You’re full of crap,” said the ghost of frontiersman Davy Crockett who showed up on the scene, “just like airheaded woke zombies who can’t stand the music scene in Kelowna British Columbia.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of the demons Baal and Baphomet visiting Italian history professor Roberto de Mattei.

The demons told de Mattei that Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano was becoming a problem for the New World Order aka the Great Reset aka the 4th Industrial Revolution.

So Roberto de Mattei made the claim (under instructions from the demons Baal and Baphomet) that Archbishop Vigano had a double who was impersonating him and making outrageous claims in Vigano’s name.

What were these outrageous claims?

The first was made back in the summer of 2018 in which Archbishop Vigano claimed that Pope Francis was covering up for the pedophile and homosexual rape crimes of the predatory homosexual American Cardinal Theodore McCarrick the man who negotiated the Vatican pact with Communist China on behalf of Pope Francis.

The second claim was made in letters written by Archbishop Vigano throughout 2020 in which he said that Pope Francis was co-operating with the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), George Soros, Bill Gates and the World Economic Forum’s Klaus Schwab in trying to set up a Great Reset New World Order in which the super rich would continue to own private property but the middle class and the poor would not be allowed to.

This was an affront to Baal and Baphomet who had coined the slogan Build Back Better and so they enticed historian Roberto de Mattei to slander Archbishop Vigano.

. . .

In his Wednesday June 23rd 2021 General Audience, Pope Francis (protector of predatory homosexual clergy and friend of the Great Reset New World Order globalists) said that the old Christianity was dead and it was time for the new Christianity to take its place.

After that, Spiderman arrived on the scene.

Spiderman and Pope Francis shook hands.

And Spiderman presented Francis with a Spiderman mask.

Samhain Cardinal Salaman, who was watching the proceedings, said, “Well when it comes to deciding between the Marvel universe of super heroes and the DC universe of super heroes, we now know on which side the Pope stands.”

“Marvelous, simply marvelous,” said a man dressed up as Howard the Duck.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 23rd
2021.

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Amadeus and Athelstan Listen To Renfield’s Sunday Night Podcast

May 23, 2021 at 10:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing his usual Sunday night podcast.

His friend Amadeus Emanon and Athelstan (the butler and valet to the London based billiinaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) were watching and listening to the podcast on their respective mobile devices.

Read Renfield live on air at one point, “And here’s a couple of stories from the world of global military news.
North Korea is starting work on a new program of tactical nuclear weapons. And in the U.S., the U.S. Air Force has announced its plans to set up a Transgender Flying Academy to see how many drag queens they can get into the cockpits of B-52 bombers as quickly as possible.”

At another point, Renfield read, “Did you know that in terms of sheer percentage numbers, Covid-19 has a lower mortality rate than testifying (or threatening to testify) against the Clintons?”.

Renfield finished his podcast on a historical note, “Why was it a crime for President Richard M. Nixon to authorize a wiretap of the Democratic Party Headquarters at the Watergate Hotel but it was perfectly okay for President Barack Obama to wiretap Republicans at Trump Tower?”.

Both Amadeus and Athelstan reflected on the numbers of “woke” people who would wake up outraged by Renfield’s latest podcast.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 23rd
2021.

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UFOs Are Now UAP: The Truth Is OutThere

May 18, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having dinner with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“I’ve been hearing a lot in the news lately about what they’ve been offering people to take the vaccine for Covid,” Renfield sprinkled some Worcestershire sauce on his roast beef, “Krispy Kreme Donuts offered a free donut a day for a year, a Calgary brewery offered a free can of beer, the Freemasonically pastored First Baptist Church in Dallas Texas offered a free rock concert and a High School in Pittsburgh offered a free laser light show in its cafeteria to students who got the vaxx on site.”

“Yes, I’ve heard about that,” Amadeus ate his potato salad.

“To overcome what both Dr. Anthony Fauci (may seagull droppings be upon him) and Rev. Franklin Graham (who’s had a Breton Korrigan drop a gold plated shoe on his head and is having a heck of a time filling out his insurance claim form) call vaccine hesitancy,” Renfield noted, “It makes me wonder when they’re going to offer the ultimate bribe to get people to take the vaccine.”

“And what is the ultimate bribe to get people to take the vaccine?” Amadeus inquired.

“That a legalized State of Nevada brothel will offer a free lay to anyone who shows proof of having had a recent vaccine,” Renfield replied.

“That would probably do it all right,” Amadeus admitted, “Reel in the last of the vaccine hesitant.”

“There’d probably be a huge traffic jam to that brothel ranch in Nevada,” Renfield noted, “as well as a surplus of U.S. political leaders saying they only took a saline injection the first time around for public relations and political purposes. But now they’ll say they’ve had the real thing in their most recently photographed jab so they can get their lucky day freebie.”

At dessert time the subject turned to UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects) and what are now called UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena).

“I hear,” Renfield put his fork into his slice of Baked Alaska, “that beginning today, members of various branches of the U.S. Armed Forces will begin presenting evidence to a Senate Intelligence Committee on encounters that service personnel have had with UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena). What used to be called UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects).”

“I wonder why they changed the name?” Amadeus mused aloud.

“Governments always get the need to rename things for some reason or other,” Renfield shrugged, “In 1946, they used to be called Flying Saucers. Then in 1947, the name was changed to UFOs. In 2011, the term UAP started being used more frequently.”

“I see the Pentagon released video footage of a UAP encounter that U.S. Navy pilots had with a UAP back in 2014,” Amadeus bit into his apple pie, “I wonder why they decide now is the time to go public.”

“Possibly to help Pope Francis and his globalist allies get the Great Reset back on track as the Better Restart,” Renfield answered.

“How will that help?” Amadeus asked.

“Well the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has been examining some quotes from New Age and Theosophist leader Alice A. Bailey in her book The Externalization of The Hierarchy,” Renfield explained, “And how much they sound like recent statements by Pope Francis on politics and economics and social issues and the environment. Bailey thought the Ascended Masters (beings who supposedly live high in the Himalayas and had contact with other dimensions) would someday manifest in this earthly plane. Perhaps they’ll manifest as the occupants of UAP or the more poplar term UFOs.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 18th
2021.

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Renfield, Bill Gates and A Man Named Jed

May 10, 2021 at 10:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was hosting another one of his Monday night podcasts.

He was finishing his podcast by singing a pair of songs.

Grabbing his guitar he sang the theme song from the 1960s TV series The Beverly Hillbillies:

Well this is the story about a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
Then one day he was shooting at some food
When up from the ground came a bubbling crude
-oil- that is – black gold – Texas tea
Well the first thing you know old Jed’s a millionaire
Kinfolk said, Jed, move away from here
California is the place you ought to be
So he packed up the truck and he moved to Beverly
-Hills- that is – Swimming pools – movie stars-
Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Renfield then announced that he was going to sing a song about Bill Gates to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song:

Well this is the story about a man named Bill
Thought developing virus ridden software would give people quite the thrill
Then one day he kissed himself a toad
And up from the ground popped a new DNA code
-genetically modified- it is- hybrid key
Well the first thing you know old Bill’s a billionaire
Kinfolk said, Bill, move away from here,
Communist China is the place you ought to be
So he packed up his soul and he moved to Shangri-lee
-Communist- he is- mainstream media celebrity-
Y’all take the vaccine now, ya hear?

. . .

After the podcast, Renfield was having tea with his friend Amadeus Emanon and Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague.

“So I hear Pope Francis sent a video message to the recent Selena Gomez hosted and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle approved concert last Saturday titled Vax Live: The Concert To Reunite The World,” Renfield noted, “that was shown live on YouTube and you can apparently still view the full concert there.”

“Francis spoke to that concert live and sent his greetings?” Amadeus was flabbergasted.

“Apparently,” Renfield nodded.

“I watched the first minute and a half of that concert,” said Amadeus, “When it started with bearded men wearing women’s evening dresses in the dressing room, I thought I was watching a future U.S. Democratic Party Convention and decided not to see the rest.”

“A wise decision undoubtedly,” Renfield agreed.

“The title of that concert Vax Live: The Concert To Reunite The World,” Dr. Marmalade Montague put a slice of lemon in his tea, “I take it the vax being referred to is the Covid Vax?”.

“Yes, the vax that is being promoted by the next mega rock band Bill Gates and The T-Rex ETs whose music is really out of this world,” Renfield commented.

“The second part of the title The Concert To Reunite The World,” Dr. Marmalade Montague sipped his tea, “Now there have been great and vast empires throughout history but when have all the peoples of the world been fully united as one?”.

“There was only one other time in history I was told by Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds yesterday,” Renfield answered, “And that was at the building of the Tower of Babel.”

“So the Pope and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and all the celebrities who participated in that concert,” Marmalade Montague put down his tea cup, “They’re seeking to re-accomplish what was done at Babel.”

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded.

“But what happened at Babel didn’t really turn out so well in the end,” Amadeus commented.

“That’s very true,” Renfield had to agree.

. . .

Meanwhile in the People’s Republic of China, Renfield’s friend and ally Mei-ling Manchu was using her famous Dance of The Fans to ward off an attack from the Black Dragon (who was Xi Jinping’s supernatural spirit entity advisor).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 10th 2021

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When Tragedy and Comedy of Errors Meet

April 24, 2021 at 10:26 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

“How can one spot Apostles of the Antichrist? By their “vaccine” advocacy, ye shall know them.”
-Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds, Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic Parish, Collingwood Hills, West London

Amadeus Emanon sat at tea with his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Said Amadeus, “I heard your past Wednesday night podcast entitled Trouble On The Rock of Gibraltor.”

“The one for which Boris Johnson isn’t speaking to me as a result?” Renfield sipped his tea.

“That’s the one,” Amadeus nodded, “although I don’t think he was speaking to you before then either.”

“Very true,” Renfield admitted.

“Your thesis that this super deadly third wave of Covid and all the emergent new variants springing up across the globe like mushrooms after an Uncle Ernie fertilizing party may be linked to the start of mass vaccination campaigns themselves and your idea that the spiked protein used in these vaccines is itself turning out to be a deadly pathogen?” Amadeus poured himself some more tea.

“What about it?” Renfield helped himself to a slice of toast.

“I heard something that may back up your thesis,” Amadeus took a sip from his vintage Edwardian tea cup.

“Oh?” Renfield sipped from his vintage Czar Nicholas II portrait Russian tea cup.

“Yes, apparently Dr. Harvey Risch a professor of Epidemiology at Yale University is now saying that 60% of all new Covid cases emerging in the U.S. are among those who have been vaccinated,” Amadeus pointed out.

“Really?” Renfield looked at Amadeus, “Well, I don’t expect senile old fool Joe Biden or the mainstream media will be shouting that information from the rooftops.”

“You’re probably right there,” Amadeus acknowledged.

“Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping is an evil man,” Renfield was thinking out loud, “but he does happen to be an evil genius unlike leaders in the U.S. and the U.K. who are evil but stupid. He is a master strategist like Putin (who is an outstanding master chess player and his strategy reflects that). No doubt he conceived that if he were to release a virus on the world that killed multitudes of people, the West, in its total incompetence, would then come out with a “vaccine” to the virus that would kill even more people and spread more rapidly and even more deadly and dangerously than the original virus itself. It would be a comedy if it weren’t such a tragedy. Or is that vice-versa?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 24th
2021.

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An Intersection of Time

April 10, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Film, Ghost Story, love, Movies, Music, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The year was 1929.
The bride was waiting for the wedding to begin.
She looked behind her.
And noticed one of the candles had burnt out.
Was this an omen she wondered?
Was she making the right decision?
Was her life about to become like that burnt out candle?

2021.
Amadeus Emanon was standing on the stage of an empty nightclub.
The nightclub was closed due to Boris Johnson’s lockdown.
But Amadeus felt at his best when performing on a stage.
He may not be able to sing to people in the club.
But he felt he was able to sing to ghosts.
The ghosts of the past.
The ghosts of the present.
And the ghosts of the future.

The ghosts of the present.
People alone and isolated.
And fading away
Under an iron curtain
That had descended all across the globe.

The ghosts of the future
If there was a future
Those whose anguished cries could not reach the present
As the darkness fell
And everything was void
and waiting for that moment
Of the spoken Word,
“Let there be light.”

Ghosts of the past.
In a distant theatre box
Amadeus saw a woman in silhoutte
A bride
Looking back at a burnt out candle
Silent
Apprehensive
As if she was looking at an omen.

Amadeus began to sing
And sang to the woman
To the bride…

Moon River, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style someday
Oh dream maker
You heartbreaker
Where ever you’re going I’m going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
Waiting round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon River and me.

Amadeus lowered his head
The song was finished
The spot light was fading
And it was as if the singer
Was waiting for the applause

That never came.

The bride listened
She had never heard the song
And probably would not again
Unless on some far off 1961 morning
She had breakfast at Tiffany’s

But the song gave her courage
And inspired her to walk down the aisle
And grasp the hand of her love
Her huckleberry friend
Two drifters off to see the world
Because
there’s such a lot of world to see

The moon came through
Shining through the stained glass window
Depicting the Jordan River
And at this nighttime service
It shone brightly
On the spot
Where the one candle had burnt out

In the far off distance
Amadeus’ voice carried through time,
“Moon River and thee.”

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 10th
2021.

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The Turning Point

April 9, 2021 at 8:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“So, where is your friend Renfield R. Renfield tonight?” Angelique Dumont asked her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon as he came over to her apartment.

“I was informed by Athelstan the butler at the Set Mansion this morning that Renfield has apparently decided to vanish for a few days,” Amadeus answered.

“Vanish?” Angelique seemed perplexed.

“Yes, the number of governments and wealthy global oligarchs around the world who want to see him assassinated has really grown exponentially the past week,” Amadeus explained.

“So I take it then that Renfield won’t be attending Prince Philip’s funeral?” Angelique inquired.

“Well I understand Philip’s funeral is to be a small affair at the Duke of Edinburgh’s own personal request plus Covid restrictions are in place,” Amadeus was eating a Worcestershire sauce laced grilled cheese sandwich, “Plus I don’t think Renfield would have really been invited anyways.”

“Prince Philip didn’t like Renfield?” Angelique Dumont put honey in her tea.

“I don’t think Philip knew Renfield very well,” Amadeus pointed out, “But Prince Philip’s eldest son Charles Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall certainly doesn’t like Renfield very well.”

“Why doesn’t Prince Charles like Renfield?” Angelique wanted to know.

“Well, because a few years ago, Charles was only standing a few feet away from Renfield when Renfield said to someone else that in his opinion Charles’ 2nd wife Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall looked like a horse,” Amadeus sipped a ginger beer.

“That would explain the Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall Charles’ dislike of Renfield,” Angelique admitted.

“The next day, Renfield did issue an apology… to horses,” Amadeus recalled, “but even that didn’t quite cut the mustard with Prince Charles.”

“I should say not,” Angelique shook her head, “But I think Her Majesty the Queen likes Renfield does she not?”.

“Yes,” Amadeus nodded, “Because Renfield once saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”

. . .

“Who’s this Prince Philip guy?” American President Joe Biden asked one of his aides, “Is he the fellow who made Philips Electric Shavers?”.

“No, Mr. President,” The aide wore a t-shirt that said I’M WITH STUPID with an arrow pointing in Biden’s direction, “He was the Prince Consort of the Queen of England.”

“Victoria?” Biden reached for a glass of water to take his Geritol pills.

“That was Prince Albert,” his aide sounded exasperated, “And Victoria was queen for the most part of two centuries ago.”

“Who’s the current Queen?” Biden inquired.

“Are you referring to the Sovereign of Great Britain or your recent appointment to the position of Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services?” His aide wanted to know.

Biden scratched his head at that one.

. . .

After administering a severe spanking to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for being late to their meeting, the Norse Goddess Freya went to a corner of the room and stood looking at him.

“So did you find out if it’s true that my son Thor has formed an alliance with Loki?” Freya asked.

“It’s true,” Dracul Van Helsing lit a cigarette and poured himself a glass of bourbon.

“But such an alliance was not foreseen in the Poetic Edda or Prose Edda?” Freya pointed out.

“That’s true as well,” Van Helsing nodded, “Anyhow Thor and Loki have formed an alliance with Osiris and Horus to bring about a Great Reset New World Order. That idiotic English language mantra Build Back Better is being translated into ancient Norse and ancient Egyptian even as we speak.”

“This is depressing news,” Freya sighed, “I need a conjugal encounter right now to get rid of my depression.”

“So do I,” Van Helsing confessed.

They were soon on the bed in the apartment making out with one another.

The ghost of Orson Welles walked in at that moment.

“Not again,” Welles’ ghost went back into the hall.

A Norwegian otter carrying a notepad and a pencil asked Welles if he knew the ancient Norse word for Google.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 9th
2021.

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The Edge of Darkness

April 6, 2021 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon had watched the evening news before heading to Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic Church C. Of E. Parish (that he attended) to take part in the Easter Tuesday evening service.

On the news, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson told a group of people that his government would be introducing a vaccine passport.

Shortly after making the announcement, a malt vinegar laced fish and chips cream pie was thrown in Boris Johnson’s face by an invisible entity.

Although a London bobby (who had been imbibing too many Harvey Wallbangers that afternoon) swore that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit (purple in colour with big pink floppety ears) who had thrown the cream pie in Johnson’s face.

“Harvey Tallbanger certainly has his work cut out for him these days,” Amadeus thought as he walked to Saint Genevieve’s.

Upon arriving at the Church, he noticed Fascist members of Fascist female Police Commissioner Cressida Dick’s Metropolitan London Police Service standing outside looking glum and constipated at the fact that the Church was open.

This was interfering with the plans of the Great Reset global oligarchy to bring forth the Antichrist.

Amadeus entered the Church where the service was said by one of the Church of England’s leading exorcists the Rev. Fr. Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who also happened to be the parish Vicar.

As he sat down, two elderly ladies in front of him were whispering to one another, “I see the Saudi Royal Family is joining with Pope Francis and Boris Johnson to bring forth the Antichrist and his Mark of the Beast global vaccine passport by saying that only those who have been vaccinated twice with the vaccine will be allowed to go on pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina.”

“The Devil is everywhere,” the other lady whispered.

A Metropolitan London policeman who had stuck his head in through the door retreated when the woman made her remark.

The service then started.

During the sermon Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds announced, “Hans Kung the dissident Swiss Catholic theologian, whose writings were censured by the Vatican under Pope John Paul II and CDF (Congregation For The Doctrine of The Faith) head Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, has died today at the age of 93. Let us pray that he repented of his sins and errors and embraced the true Catholic Christian Faith before he died so he won’t spend all of Eternity languishing in eternal Hellfire.”

“Amen,” said Amadeus Emanon and the two ladies sitting in front of him.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was taking Miss Sherrielock Holmes’ orange tabby cat Mr. Truffles for a walk as Sherrielock would be busy at work tonight.

Renfield sat down on a bench and started to recite Edward Lear’s poem The Owl and The Pussycat to Mr. Truffles.

Suddenly a gunshot came out of nowhere and almost hit Mr. Truffles.

Renfield chased after the assailant and brought him down tying him up.

Later in the interrogation dungeon of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s West London mansion, Renfield questioned the assailant.

“I’m a Neo-Bolshevik Communist,” said the man proudly.

“Who do you work for?” Renfield inquired.

“The American FBI,” answered the man.

The answer did not surprise Renfield as today’s FBI and CIA were positively crawling with Neo-Bolshevik Communists.

“Why did you try to kill Mr. Truffles?” Renfield asked.

“I didn’t,” the FBI agent replied, “I was trying to kill you but I was startled by a jack rabbit and I misfired.”

“Like this jack rabbit?” Renfield showed the FBI agent a photo of Jack O’ Hare a wild hare jack rabbit who used to live in the back yard of a geopolitical analyst friend of his.

“That’s the one,” the FBI agent nodded.

“Well done, Jack,” Renfield called out the dungeon window.

Jack O’ Hare perked up his ears and British actor David Jason said “Thanks” as he walked by.

“Why did you want to kill me?” Renfield asked as he took a sip from his cup of Earl Grey tea and took a bite of cheese on toast.

“Because you’re a threat to the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Great Reset New World Order,” seethed the FBI agent.

“You’ve got a point there,” Renfield felt the FBI agent’s head in the manner of a well-known 19th Century Armenian phrenologist whose name Renfield had currently forgotten.

“I know,” the agent laughed.

“Did you know that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II gave me a licence to kill a la James Bond 007 after I saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool?” Renfield put some butter on his slice of toast.

“I did not know that,” the FBI agent shrugged, “Why? Are you planning to kill me?”.

The FBI agent laughed uproariously.

Renfield pulled out his gun, pointed it at the man’s head, pulled the trigger and blew the man’s head off.

“Yes, in answer to your question,” Renfield put the gun back in his holster.

He got on the phone to Set Enterprises Laboratories and asked them to send over some man-eating nanorobots aka nanobots to eat the man’s body and lick up all the blood.

“The vampire Set doesn’t like his dungeon floor looking like a mess,” Renfield explained.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 6th
2021.

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Yaldabaoth’s Interesting 48 Hours

March 29, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I understand Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun has had an interesting 48 hours,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked to his friend Amadeus Emanon as they sat down to late evening tea and crumpets in the dining room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal west London mansion.

“He did?” Amadeus bit into a crumpet.

“Yes, yesterday he was almost arrested by Irish Garda police for driving a Catholic priest to his parish church to say public Mass,” Renfield answered.

“Is that a crime?” Amadeus was shocked.

“It is now,” Renfield nodded, “The Antichrist government of the once Catholic nation of Ireland is now the most Antichrist government in Western Europe. They’re recently made it a crime for a priest to leave his home to say a public Mass as well as made it a crime for anyone to leave their home to attend Catholic Mass.”

“How did Yaldabaoth escape the Irish Garda Police?” Amadeus inquired.

“The car Yaldabaoth was driving was a replica of the Batmobile from the 1966-68 television series Batman starring Adam West and Burt Ward (that the little leprechaun won in a Guinness drinking contest a few years back) so he managed to outrun them,” Renfield explained.

“Then what did Yaldabaoth do in his next 24 hours?” Amadeus poured himself a cup of English Breakfast Tea even though he was having late evening tea and crumpets.

“Well, earlier today Yaldabaoth was small enough to fit inside a baby submarine the Seed of Nautilus that succeeded in freeing the 1300 foot Evergreen Marine container ship MV Ever Given that was stuck in the Suez Canal,” Renfield smiled.

“Yaldabaoth was responsible for freeing the Ever Given?” Amadeus was astounded.

“Yes, his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom should be so proud,” Renfield sipped his own cup of English Breakfast Tea.

Meanwhile the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a phone conversation with his CEO of Set Enterprises a man called Watson Holmes.

“This is a public relations disaster,” Set wept in his beer, “Our company has baby subs. We could have easily leant Yaldabaoth one when he was doing his deep canal route dive to free the Ever Given that was stuck in the Suez Canal. Instead my rival, sister and sister-in-law the Paris based Egyptian vampiress Isis gets all the glory and publicity for letting Yaldabaoth use her baby sub the Seed of Nautilus ”

“I’m afraid it was that idiot Dr. Marmalade Montague who took the phone call when Yaldabaoth phoned Set Enterprises,” Set Enterprises’ CEO Watson Holmes explained, “Dr. Montague misheard and thought Yaldabaoth was asking for a baby tub to use. And Marmalade said, “Sorry, we have no baby tubs” and hung up the phone.

Meanwhile in Paris, France the Egyptian vampiress Isis (who was worshipped as the goddess of the moon, magic and healing in ancient Egypt and who was Set’s rival, sister and sister-in-law as well as the wife of Osiris and the mother of Horus) was basking in the glory of having had her baby sub the Seed of Nautilus used by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun in freeing the container ship Ever Given from the Suez Canal.

She was being photographed by the assembled world press.

Egypt’s goddess Isis basking in glory.

It was a good thing for Yaldabaoth that he was still in Egypt.

Otherwise he might have keeled over and died on the spot had he been in Paris and saw the killer outfit that Isis was wearing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 29th
2021.

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Miranda Singh Vs. The Zombie Nosferatu

March 24, 2021 at 10:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his friend Amadeus Emanon were down at the Set Enterprises Laboatories in London.

They were talking with Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague while Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his aquarium playing Frederic Chopin’s Prelude In E-Minor on his underwater piano.

“So that was one of the underreported big news stories last week,” Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked, “North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un’s younger sister Kim Yo-jong is threatening to kick Joe Biden’s senile old ass.”

“I wonder if she’ll be doing that while Biden is debating Russian President Vladimir Putin on livestream,” Renfield commented, “that is if Biden accepts Putin’s challenge of a debate which I doubt he will.”

“What’s Kim Yo-jong doing issuing ultimatums on behalf of North Korea?” Amadeus Emanon asked, “Is she acting as de facto leader of North Korea?”.

“Undoubtedly,” Renfield nodded.

“What’s Kim Jong-un doing?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Undoubtedly taking one of his lengthy refrigerator breaks,” Renfield answered, “Either that or going on a diet after one of his lengthy refrigerator breaks.”

Suddenly Michelangelo started tapping a unique sound on his piano keys.

“What is that?” Renfield listened attentively to the sound.

“It’s Morse code,” Dr. Marmalade Montague answered.

“Morse code?” Renfield looked puzzled, “I thought that went out of use when the last telegraph line was eaten by the last dinosaur.”

Extremely Curious George the recently created stegosaurus shot Renfield an extremely curious look when he walked by the room.

He continued down the hallway.

Presumably in search of the last telegraph line.

“Michelangelo saw a vision a moment ago,” Dr. Marmalade Montague started jotting down dots and dashes on his notepad with his pencil, “so not having the power of vocal speech, he’s communicating what he saw. Apparently Set Enterprises’ secret intelligence agent Miranda Singh is in mortal danger. Zombie nosferatu at the American CIA are plotting to kill her. Even now zombie nosferatu are descending upon a castle in Spain as we speak.”

“What’s Miranda doing at a castle in Spain?” Renfield asked.

“She’s currently on a modeling fashion photo shoot for Shinihas Ageless Collection,” Dr. Montague replied.

Miranda Singh’s cover was working as a fashion model at various locales in the world.

“We better warn her,” said Amadeus.

“Already on it,” Dr. Montague parted curtains next to his office water cooler.

Behind the curtains was an unusual contraption.

“That looks like a 1940s era ham radio,” Renfield remarked.

“That’s because it is,” Montague started sending out a transmission on it, “Miranda has a radio receiver in her left earring.”

Meanwhile in Joe Biden’s Oval Office, a high-ranking Neo-Bolshevik Communist official in the American CIA put down a document on Biden’s desk for him to sign.

“What is this?” Biden asked.

“A document authorizing the assassination of an enemy agent,” the CIA official answered.

“But I didn’t think my signature was required for these?” Biden looked baffled- in other words his usual self.

“Yes, but just on the off chance anything goes wrong in this case, we want the buck to stop here,” the CIA official put down an American dollar bill on Biden’s desk.

“Whose picture is this?” Biden asked.

“George Washington,” the CIA official replied.

“He looks white,” Biden looked carefully at the bill.

“He was white,” the CIA official pointed out.

“But isn’t depicting white guys a sign of racism and white privilege?” Biden scratched his head.

“It is,” the CIA official agreed, “Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is currently trying to track down a rare black and white photo of Karl Marx doing a rare minstrel show performance in London to use as the face on the new American dollar bill which will be printed in time for the next trillion dollar Covid bailout which will bankrupt this country for generations to come.”

“I see,” Biden nodded and signed the paper.

At that moment in Spain a zombie nosferatu American CIA agent (treated with a special formula invented by DARPA using a combination of goats’ milk and old photographic dark room chemical fluid that allowed zombie nosferatu to venture forth in the daylight) approached Miranda Singh.

Miranda Singh turned and faced him directly.

She unhooked her right earring (that contained a silver arrowpoint designed to kill vampires and werewolves) and threw it at him.

The zombie nosferatu fell over dead.

A multiple charging laser beam (activated by the radio receiver in her left ear) then shot out and went forth and killed all the zombie nosferatu in the immediate vicinity.

It was a photo shoot that the Shinihas Ageless Collection camera crew would never forget.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 24th
2021.

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