Renfieldian TV Commercial For The New RCR GK 987 Assault Rifle

November 16, 2020 at 11:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

A new TV commercial was hitting the airwaves in America.

The commercial started out by showing video footage of Antifa rioting, burning and looting in various U.S. cities as well as beating people up in Washington DC this past weekend including a mother walking with two small children and pushing a baby stroller with a baby inside.

(Suddenly the camera focuses in on British MP Renfield R. Renfield looking glum and serious)

Renfield (looking glum and serious): Are you bothered by the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa?
Are the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa getting you down?

(Renfield opens a pirate chest with the words CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW WAS HERE and pulls out one mean looking assault rifle and semi-automatic weapon)

Renfield (smiling): Then buy the new Renfield Cadbury Rocher GK 987 Assault Rifle and blow those Antifa/BLM suckers to kingdom come.
It’s easy to handle and easy to use.

(Renfield turns to his left and begins shooting)

Renfield (proudly holding up the weapon): It doesn’t quite hit the billions and billions that Carl Sagan talked about on his old TV show Cosmos but it does successfully target dozens and dozens.

Voice of Shot Antifa/BLM member (calling out from off-screen): Aw, shit, I don’t feel so ‘woke’ now. I think I’m dying.

Renfield (grinning): See what I mean?

Renfield (holding up the assault weapon again): The new RCR GK 987 Assault Rifle is available in the Family Christmas Gifts Ideas section of a Walmart near you. You can also order one on-line at Amazon by looking under the Christmas Gift Ideas For Grandma Isolated In A Covid Lockdown Nursing Home Category. Or you can order by phone calling our 1-800-Toll Free number. For those of you who call this number before midnight in your local time zone, we’ll throw in a free autographed photo of me conducting the London Philharmonic Orchestra a few years back before this whole Covid nonsense started up.

(Renfield raises a glass of champagne and takes a sip)

Renfield (puts glass down and smiles): Oh, and happy shooting.

(He raises the RCR GK 987 Assault Rife and takes aim)

Antifa members: No peace without… shit. (All croak)

Renfield (sipping his champagne): I have the feeling Neville Chamberlain once said something similar.

World famous cellist Tina Guo was guest cellist the night Renfield conducted the London Philharmonic Orchestra.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 16th

Permalink 6 Comments

Renfield Discusses The PRC’s Connection With U.S. Anarcho-Marxist Thugs and Hooligans

September 10, 2020 at 10:10 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a Party caucus meeting with his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana (Member of Parliament for Newbridge in Wales).

“What’s that card you have on your desk?” Morgana asked Renfield.

“It’s a GET SICK SOON card I just received from Boris Johnson,” Renfield answered.

“I take it that it’s the opposite of a Get Well Soon card,” Morgana smiled.

“That’s correct,” Renfield took the card and put it on his mantlepiece above his office fireplace where a bunch of other GET SICK SOON cards were displayed.

“Who are those other GET SICK SOON cards from?” Morgana inquired.

“From Russian President Vladimir Putin, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko, China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping, Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews, Pope Francis, Bill Gates and George Soros,” Renfield replied.

“You seem to be very popular with the Hope You Catch Covid Soon crowd,” Morgana noted.

“Yes, that appears to be the case,” Renfield poured himself a brandy and offered one to Morgana which she declined.

She helped herself to a Lemonade Shandy instead.

“I was just reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on why the Chinese Consulate in Houston, Texas was closed,” Renfield browsed through the report.

“Didn’t U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo accuse them of stealing trade and technology secrets?” Morgana sipped her Shandy.

“Every Chinese consulate in the world does that but that was Pompeo’s official explanation,” Renfield read the report, “The real reason was because a group of PLA agents provocateur used that particular consulate as the home base for helping to direct the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who were conducting burning, looting and murdering riots in major cities across the U.S. in what America’s mainstream Marxist media referred to as peaceful protests,” Renfield answered.

“Wow, so the People’s Republic of China were helping to encourage these riots,” Morgana shook her head.

“Yes, there’s a South Korean geopolitical analyst called Kaheva on YouTube who released a video today saying that she thinks foreign spies are helping the rioters,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “She is correct on that although she said she didn’t know what country might be doing it. A geopolitical analyst friend of mine in Calgary discovered back in late July that the Chinese consulate in Houston was being closed because PLA agents provocateur had been using that as their base of operations to help support the Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionary riots throughout U.S. cities. And now the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has reached the same conclusion.”

“So do you still think these riots will lead to civil war in the U.S.?” Morgana ate her plate of Welsh rarebit.

“Yes, the left is already threatening to continue and even intensify the riots if Trump wins the election,” Renfield noted, “Joe Biden in a speech today or rather the fallen angel Mephistopheles speaking through Biden said, “Do you really think America will be less violent if Trump wins re-election?” in a tone of voice that clearly sounded like a threat. Of course it doesn’t matter which side wins the election in today’s polarized America. Neither side will accept defeat. And civil war will probably be the result.”

Film Noir genre style photo of Renfield and Morgana taken by the ghost of Orson Welles.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 10th

Permalink 8 Comments