Vampiress Isis Meets Dr. Cadbury Rocher In Paris

October 29, 2014 at 6:24 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, Movies, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Vampiress Isis Meets Dr. Cadbury Rocher In Paris

The Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis felt like a school girl for some reason as she sat in a white dress in a Parisienne cafe on this Friday evening in mid-October.

And it had been well over 3000 years since she had last been a school girl.

She was about to meet Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was probably the greatest scientific mind of the early 21st Century.

Although few people had heard of him or known about his ability.

For Dr. Cadbury Rocher worked as a research scientist for her brother, brother-in-law, rival and arch-enemy the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set.

No one knew how much money Set paid him for Set kept it a secret.

That way no government or private individual or corporation knew how much money to offer him to snatch his services away from Set.

Plus Dr. Cadbury Rocher was also bound to Set in some sort of strange Egyptian Black Magic blood oath ceremony involving the burning of 9 tana leaves, the drinking of 100 tea leaves and the smoking of 666 marijuana leaves.

Still that wasn’t as bad as a bunch of wealthy country club Republicans running around in the nude and burning an effigy of an infant to a giant 40 foot owl in a bizarre form of Moloch and Ishtar worship like what happens at the Bohemian Grove every summer near San Francisco.

Whenever Isis went through one of her dieting crazes, she always watched the unedited version of the Alex Jones filming of the Bohemian Grove ceremony which immediately killed her appetite.

She also could never bring herself to shake Henry Kissinger’s hand ever again whenever she met him after seeing the unedited version of that video.

A Parisienne lady of the evening had also given up one of her most frequent fellatio receiving clients after viewing the unedited video in Isis’ Paris penthouse apartment.

However despite Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s blood oath to Set, something had happened this past week that changed the nature of the relationship between Dr. Rocher and Set.

Isis found out about it in a phone call when a constantly yawning Randall Hopkins had phoned her in a very irritating phone call last Friday evening.

( For the reason why Randall Hopkins Private Eye was yawning please read

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2014/10/20/randall-hopkins-private-eye/ )

So Randall Hopkins had found out that Set Enterprises (the scientific research and development firm owned by Set) needed to cut $2 billion in expenditures from its operating budget according to an audit conducted by professional chartered accountant Ian Mandell Boring who went by his initials I. M. Boring.

Then two days ago on Wednesday morning Isis received a phone call from her London hired private eye gumshoe spy Randall Hopkins saying that he had just received a phone call from his Deep Throat source within Set Enterprises Miss Miranda Singh who was the secretary to Set Enterprises’ Executive Vice-President Watson Holmes.

Apparently Watson Holmes and the billionaire Egyptian vampire Set would be having a dinner meeting with
Dr. Cadbury Rocher that night in the main dining room of London’s St. James’ Court Hotel hoping that a good meal of steak and lobster would help ease the pain as they gently broke the news to Dr. Rocher that the $2 billion in cuts would be coming out of the good doctor’s laboratory research budget.

Miranda told the private eye that Dr. Rocher had consulted Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (a lobster with amazing psychic abilities that Dr. Rocher had genetically created in the lab) at the morning coffee break on the Set Enterprises’ premises and asked him what would happen at the St. James’ Court Hotel steak and lobster dinner meeting with Set and Watson Holmes.

Michelangelo used his lobster antennae hooked up with wires to Dr. Rocher’s computer to communicate telepathically to the computer screen the cryptic remark that he had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

Randall Hopkins Private Eye maxed out his credit card by booking a last-minute reservation to the St. James’ Court Hotel main dining room and more specifically to a table right next to where Set, Watson Holmes and Dr. Cadbury Rocher would be sitting.

Fearing that Set and Watson Holmes might recognize him as the man who had sat next to their table at the Savoy Hotel main dining room last Friday night, Randall Hopkins wore a Halloween style pair of dark glasses and Groucho Marx mustache so as not to draw attention by making a spectacle of himself.

At the table on the other side of Randall Hopkins sat former U. S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger who was on his cell phone talking to elderly Hollywood actress and former sex symbol Mamie Van Doren.

Dr. Kissinger cooed and purred in his thick German accent over the phone, “Oooh, baby… I really loved you in that movie High School Confidential” as his glasses fogged up over the phone.

Mamie Van Doren.

That name sounded familiar to Randall Hopkins for some reason.

He had seen an old movie trailer for a Mamie Van Doren film on YouTube.

The announcer’s voice for the movie trailer said, “Mamie Van Doren in 3-D. She’ll knock both your eyes out” as the camera focused in on two huge protruding points near the top of Mamie Van Doren’s tight fitting sweater.

Meanwhile at the table on the other side of Randall Hopkins, Set and Watson Holmes had just informed Dr. Cadbury Rocher the unhappy news that $2 billion would be axed from his laboratory research budget.

“$2 billion?!” The lobster tail that Dr. Rocher spit out of his mouth upon hearing this news landed in Dr. Kissinger’s Baked Alaska as the former U.S. Secretary of State received an incoming phone call from Vladimir Putin threatening a nuclear missile attack on America.

“It could have been worse,” Watson Holmes sent back his over cooked steak tartare, “it could have been £2 billion that I. M. Boring suggested needed to be cut. Lucky for you that Mr. Boring got his accounting degree at an American rather than a British business school.”

“Still $2 billion,” Dr. Rocher wept into his lime sorbet, “this will mean the death of the Pegasus project.”

“I’m afraid so,” said Set who was so hungry that he was eating a horse although the menu listed it as la viande de cheval.

“But after all the things I’ve created and developed for you over the years that made you billions and billions,” Dr. Rocher did his best impersonation of astronomer Carl Sagan, “and this is the thanks I get.”

“Well it’s like the whip-wielding dominatrix said,” Set replied while remembering an experience he had in a nightclub of the Berlin of the 1920s, “it’s the bottom line that counts.”

“But it’s been my lifelong dream,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher licked the whipped cream off the gingerbread cookie gingerbread woman figure of Penelope Cruz, “to genetically create a winged horse like Pegasus of classical myth.”

“Well,” Set sighed as he ate the horse’s tail, “sometimes our dreams don’t always come true.”

He recalled his dream of banging his sister Isis on a hot steamy and sultry Egyptian night millenia ago- a dream that never came true.

(Psychiatrists and reality TV shows would have had a field day if they had been around in the days of ancient Egyptian royalty!)

“That does it,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher stood up to leave, “I quit. I resign my position at Set Enterprises. Blood oath or no blood oath. You can take your blood oath and shove it up your ass.”

Considering the immense constipation problem Set would have that night as a result of eating a whole horse, that might have made for an excellent enema.

. . .

And now the Vampiress Isis was hoping to convince Dr. Cadbury Rocher to come work for her.

And put her brother, husband and lover Osiris’ sub-atomic particles back together again.

At that moment a cock crew on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the time period
Friday October 24th
to
Wednesday October 29th
2014.

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Cardinal JM and The Heart of Atum-Ra

March 7, 2014 at 11:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Cardinal JM and The Heart of Atum-Ra

Cardinal JM although a member of the College of Cardinals and the Vatican Curia was a worshipper of the ancient pagan gods.

Last night one of the two ancient deities that he devotedly worshipped Zeus ( the other deity was Apollo) appeared to him at his bedside and told him, “My most devoted servant I want you to consecrate Italy to the sacred heart of my good friend Atum-Ra tomorrow at noon.”

So Cardinal JM got up the next morning and awakened his secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe.

Although Father Wardenclyffe was already awake. He was busy sodomizing a young man he kept in his Vatican office that he called Hyacinth.

When Father Wardenclyffe heard Cardinal JM’s instructions, they went to Cardinal JM’s personal private chapel together.

Inside Cardinal JM’s private chapel there was ne’er a Cross nor Crucifix to be found.

So demons and most vampires and American megachurch Pastor Rick Warren would have felt right at home there.

Father Wardenclyffe put on top of the altar an ancient Egyptian statue of the god Atum-Ra.

Cardinal JM then went up to the altar and spoke in Latin (since his ancient Egyptian was a little rusty although much better than that of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith) the words of consecration consecrating Italy to the sacred heart of Atum-Ra.

Father Wardenclyffe then put on top of the altar a globe of the world below the statue of Atum-Ra.

He had pencilled in a huge X on top of the Italian peninsula.

Then he had pencilled in a huge arrow on the Adriatic Sea pointing to the left and had pencilled above it the words X Marks The Spot so as to be sure that the god Atum-Ra wouldn’t miss it.

Some 666 seconds after the words of consecration were spoken, a huge giant beating heart appeared above the altar- the Heart of Atum-Ra.

Above the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica the cry of a cock crowing twice could be heard.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 7th
2014.

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The Revenge of Isis

December 19, 2013 at 5:37 pm (Commentary, History, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Revenge of Isis

The Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis sat seething in a Parisienne sidewalk cafe.

Russian President Vladimir Putin was really starting to piss her off.

First, last December 21st, a Russian nuclear submarine had fired a laser death ray at the spaceship returning her brother, husband and lover Osiris to earth disintegrating both spaceship and Osiris.

Now she had a lot more pieces of Osiris to pick up and re-assemble together than she did the time Osiris was dismembered and cut up into 14 pieces by her brother, brother-in-law and enemy Set millenia ago.

A group of the world’s best particle physicists she had assembled to put Osiris together again.

But it was slow painstaking work.

They worked around the clock.

The night team of particle physicists were called All The King’s Horses.

And the day team of particle physicists were called All The King’s Men.

Osiris himself was designated by the U.S. Secret Service code name Humpty Dumpty according to the leaked Edward Snowden documents.

Now Putin was pissing her off again by arranging a financial bailout of Ukraine.

Putin’s puppet President of Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych had rejected EU integration and had received a financial bailout and cheaper Russian natural gas as a result.

By doing so, Ukraine was preventing her puppets from taking power, Isis thought as she angrily bit into an orange.

How dare Putin oppose her New World Order.

After all this had been something she and her exiled lover Osiris (Osiris had been exiled to the star system of Sirius by a black magic spell cast by their enemy Set- the black magic spell did have an expiry date- something that had been known to the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Hopi Indians but not the seer Nostradamus despite the claims of fictional History Channel programs)
had been planning for centuries.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 19th
2013

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