The U.S. Embassy Opens In Jerusalem On Israel’s 70th Anniversary As A Nation

May 14, 2018 at 11:55 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Egyptian vampiress Isis arriving at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem:

The U. S. Embassy Opens In Jerusalem On Israel’s 70th Anniversary As A Modern Nation

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu got a huge erection when he saw her.

The Egyptian vampiress Isis arriving at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem.

Coincidentally at the same time as he called U.S. President Donald Trump the “reincarnation of the Persian king Cyrus.”

In Rome, Pope Francis (who didn’t have an erection as he watched the ceremony on television) retrieved the Handbook of Catholic Christian Dogma from his garbage can (where he had placed it since his election to the Papacy) as he couldn’t remember whether the Catholic Church believed in reincarnation or not.

If it did, it could be a dogma he could deny at some future date.

U. S. President Donald Trump (when he began his address via television) likewise got an erection when he saw Isis arrive at the U.S. Embassy Jerusalem opening on his television monitor.

“At this very moment, you have absolutely no idea how much I want to be there in person…” Trump began.

Rudy Giuliani was meanwhile thinking of a prophecy about storms in the (cheque) Book of Daniels.

Several Hamas operatives smashed their motor vehicles into one another (killing each other in the process) upon seeing Isis (the nice knockers in a see-through dress vampiress not the terrorist group) arrive at the Embassy opening.

The famous London art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest who was a personal friend of Ivanka Trump was also there along with his living dead manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie.

Even though Dashwood Forrest was gay, he too was overcome with an erection upon seeing the sensuously beautiful young looking vampiress Isis.

I hope my boyfriend isn’t watching this at home, Forrest thought to himself as the BBC World News camera panned in on him.

Katy Perry’s lyrics “I kissed a girl and I liked it…” kept running through his mind.

“I hereby declare the U. S. Embassy in Jerusalem officially open on this 14th day of May in the Year of Our Lord 2018- the 70th Anniversary of the birth of the modern State of Israel 🇮🇱,” Ivanka Trump pronounced as she unveiled the plaque next to the Embassy front door.

Both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Pope Francis winced when she used the term Year of Our Lord.

Ivanka Trump went over and hugged Dashwood Forrest after the plaque unveiling as soon as she saw him.

“Well,” Ivanka laughed a little taken aback after hugging the Oscar Wilde admiring London art gallery owner, “is that a paintbrush 🖌 in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”.

She brushed off her white skirt.

“You’ve always had that effect on me, my dear,” Dashwood Forrest laughed.

“Suicide bomber,” Mulligan the Irish zombie shouted as soon as he saw him.

Mulligan landed on top of the Lebanese Hezbollah operative (who was wearing such dark sunglasses that he never noticed the extreme sunblock wearing vampiress Isis) just as he detonated the explosives.

As a result of Mulligan’s drunken heroic actions, the only ones injured in the explosion 💥 was the suicide bomber himself as well as Dashwood Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant who went totally to pieces as a result of the rescue.

Both Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Iran’s Supreme Leader the Ayatollah Ali Khameini cried in their beer 🍺 when they saw the death of the Hezbollah operative.

“I don’t think I’m quite dead yet,” the moving lips on the head of Mulligan the Irish zombie impersonated an Englishman believed to have succumbed to the bubonic plague in the movie Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

“Well,” Dashwood Forrest picked up one of Mulligan’s middle fingers, “this looks like a job for Dr. Cadbury Rocher.”

Meanwhile in London, Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher put on his Superman costume as he headed out to a Costume Ball in London on a lovely May evening.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 14th
2018.

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The Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

May 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

The Egyptian vampiress Isis walked down the garden steps of the royal palace at Versailles:

https://pin.it/5acbbfmnqdrzvj

She had first seen Versailles back in 1799 when she came to France from Egypt with Napoleon Bonaparte.

Both Napoleon I and later Napoleon III the vampiress Isis had acted as a strong supporter of and an influential advisor to.

Now after having visited the royal palace at Versailles, she would be driven by limousine to Napoleon’s tomb in Paris where she would stop and say a prayer to her grandfather the Egyptian sun god Ra.

Then she would head to the French Presidential Palace there to meet with Emmanuel Macron the President of France 🇫🇷.

While visiting President Macron, they would hold a teleconferencing call with Pope Francis in Rome.

. . .

Pope Francis had been seeing a lot of demons around the Vatican the past month.

He finally got so sick of seeing them, he finally broke down and asked one directly, “Why are you wretched demons hanging around the Vatican these days?”.

“Where else can we go?” The demon shrugged, “You yourself have said that there is no Hell.”

Francis went away harrumphing like Major Hoople in that old newspaper cartoon and comic strip Our Boarding House.

He looked at the date on the calendar – May 4th 2018.

He was supposed to do something today but he couldn’t remember what it was.

He knew what he was planning to do tomorrow- May 5th 2018.

He had thought of canonizing Karl Marx as a birthday present for the latter’s 200th birthday tomorrow and declaring him a member of the Catholic Communion of Saints but he had been strongly advised against it by most of his cardinal advisers.

What was it he was supposed to do today?

He grabbed a pitchfork and stuck it up the rear end of some tiny elf sized little demon who got in his way.

Then he remembered.

He was supposed to be having a teleconferencing call with French President Emmanuel Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis who would be calling him from Paris.

Pope Francis went to his room and waited by the speaker phone on his desk.

The phone rang.

Francis picked it up.

Sure enough it was President Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis.

After an exchange of pleasantries, they got down to business.

“Holy Father,” Isis asked, “what do you think of the idea of using a recently discovered ancient manuscript on magic written by King Solomon to invoke ancient jinn to rebuild the original Temple of Solomon on Mount Moriah?”.

Pope Francis spat out a mouthful from his glass of Mogen David wine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 4th
2018.

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Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

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Sherrielock Holmes Meets The Egyptian Vampiress Isis

February 2, 2018 at 9:38 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes Meets The Egyptian Vampiress Isis

Sherrielock Holmes got off the elevator and entered the Champagne Bar on the 3rd floor of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

She was wearing diamond 💎 earrings, a pearl necklace and a cobalt blue evening dress.

“Sherrielock,” a melodious feminine voice called to her from a table close to a window with an excellent view of the City of Lights on this Friday night.

The voice belonged to the Egyptian vampiress Isis who wore gold earrings, a jade necklace and a crimson red evening dress.

After eating plates of escargots and drinking glasses of champagne 🥂, Isis then got down to business with Sherrielock.

“Miss Holmes, I’ll get to the point,” she finished the last of her glass of champagne 🍾, “you are the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises having replaced Renfield R. Renfield who was elected to Parliament last year and who now claims to be receiving visitations from the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill- a statement I heard him make when he was being interviewed on George Noory’s Coast To Coast AM radio show last night. Well, I want you to stop working for my evil brother and brother-in-law Set and come work for me.”

. . .

The Mossad agent who was code named The Controller of The Golem would soon be leaving his native Israel 🇮🇱.

He would be parachuting into the Afrin region of northern Syria to help the Kurds fight invading Turkish forces.

Ever since Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan gave a speech to his supporters in Turkey last year in which he said the city of Jerusalem would be part of a revived Ottoman Empire, the Israeli government was anxious to see that the Turks would not move militarily beyond their borders.

Now that the Kurds had defeated the Islamic State, Turkey was moving into parts of northern Syria to defeat the Kurds.

Israel had decided to give covert support to the Kurds against Erdogan’s Turkish forces.

The Controller had been informed that Britain would be sending him an ally to help the Kurds fight the Turks.

The name of the ally would not be transmitted to the Controller by any electronic means (phone or Internet).

Instead the name would come to the Controller written on a piece of paper in a box.

The Controller’s instructions were to open the box, read the name on the piece of paper and then burn the paper by candle and then take the ashes and mix them with tobacco and smoke them in a pipe.

The Controller looked at the box in front of him.

Written in huge medieval lettering on the box were the words PANDORA’S BOX FOR THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE.

The top of the box was decorated with a lovely painted mural of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian and the Byzantine Empress Theodora seated on their Imperial thrones in Constantinople.

The Controller of The Golem opened the box.

Inside was a folded piece of paper.

The Controller unfolded the paper and read the name written on it.

DRACULA.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 2nd
2018.

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Isis Stabs Sir Elton John In The Back

March 19, 2015 at 6:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Isis Stabs Sir Elton John In The Back

The Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis was having dinner with a British cabinet minister in an exclusive London restaurant.

They were discussing the upcoming British general election, the state of Anglo-French relations, the emerging German domination of the European Union and the possibility of an Entente forming between Greece and Russia.

Spying on them and eavesdropping at the next table was Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Isis’ arch-enemy the London-based ancient Egyptian Vampire Set.

To escape the Vampiress Isis’ recognition and detection, Renfield had disguised himself by dressing up to look like Bruce Jenner if he/she was having a bad hair day.

“Didn’t the noted sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher work for you for a while?” The British cabinet minister asked Isis.

“He did,” Isis admitted, “but that nasty swine of a shapeshifting hamster/ human Renfield snatched him back to work for the Vampire Set again.”

Renfield quickly sprayed some more Febreze air freshener on his wig as a make-shift hairspray.

“Plus I see Dr. Cadbury Rocher is now doing TV commercials for Jaguar automobiles,” Isis put some red lipstick on her already blood red lips.

“He is?” The British cabinet minister seemed surprised.

“Yes,” Isis applied some more jet black mascara to her already jet black eyelashes, “the one where he takes a cylinder shaped glass elevator down to his secret laboratory brimming with automobiles and announces to the world “The devil is in the details” and then says “Oh yes, there’s method to my madness” as he drives away in either a red or a white Jaguar depending on which ad is being shown.”

“Now, that you mentioned it, I guess I have seen that commercial,” the cabinet minister sipped his Brandy.

Renfield silently seethed at the next table and wondered why he had never been asked to do a TV ad for Jaguar as he ragingly spilled hot chocolate over his formerly white blouse.

“That’s a lovely gown you’re wearing,” the cabinet minister admired Isis’ scarlet red evening dress.

“Thanks,” Isis smiled, “It’s a Dolce Gabbana.”

“That’s a Dolce Gabbana?” The minister put on his spectacles to get a better look down the front of her dress.

“Yes, Dolce Gabbana,” Isis nodded.

“Well, you’re certainly going to lose the admiration of Sir Elton John and his synthetic children over that,” Renfield piped up from the next table.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 19th
2015.

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