Panty Goatee Slays ISI Bigshot While Sherrielock Holmes and Fenrir Meet King Edward VII

February 17, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was enjoying a High Tea of Chai tea and cucumber and creamed cheese sandwiches with his friend the concert pianist Amadeus Emanon and the concert pianist’s girlfriend the New Orleans vampiress songstress Angelique Dumont.

They were sitting in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London Mansion.

“So what did the Indian and Iranian governments contact you about yesterday?” Amadeus asked as he helped himself to a dozen cucumber and creamed cheese sandwiches.

Renfield thought he was wise to ask Athelstan the butler to make 200 of those sandwiches.

“Well, the Indian government suspects the Pakistani ISI was behind the suicide bomb attack that killed 44 Indian paramilitary policemen in Kashmir this past Thursday and Iran blames the ISI for the deaths of 27 Revolutionary Guards earlier this week,” Renfield explained as he sipped his tea, “so they asked me to use my contacts to do something about it.”

Meanwhile over in Pakistan, the assistant deputy head of the ISI was off on his morning jog.

Suddenly this vision greeted him:

DARPA cotract assassiness Panty Goatee

“Excuse me, Miss,” the ISI bigshot jogged over to her with a very tiny little miniscule bulge in his jogging pants, “but that t-shirt mini dress you’re wearing is very blasphemous not to mention that your attire in general is very un-Islamic. So I’m going to have to take you in for questioning and (ahem!) other things as well.”

Panty pulled a gun out from underneath her dress and shot the man.

“Ah shit,” the man said as he fell backwards on to the ground.

“I thought you people were supposed to say Allah akbar before you die,” Panty smiled as she slit the man’s throat with a knife she pulled out from under her dress.

. . .


Serena the time traveller and magician’s assistant to Thoth the Egyptian god of time and recordkeeping looked down at Dracul Van Helsing from her wall of clocks.

“What are you looking at?” Serena asked.

“Well,” said Dracul, “it was 100 years ago today on February 17th 1919 that former Canadian Prime Minister Sir Wilfred Laurier died. It’s hard to believe that there was ever an honest Federal Liberal politician from Quebec but they still made them as late as Sir Wilfred Laurier.”

. . .

The year was 1907.

And England’s King Edward VII was walking down the street looking for a piece of tail to satisfy his lecherous royal appetite.

Suddenly he spotted Miss Sherrielock Holmes.

“Ah, there’s the delightful twin sister of consulting detective Sherlock Holmes,” Edward VII stroked his beard.

He walked in her direction.

When suddenly there emerged from behind her dress the Norse wolf Fenrir.

“Good Lord, look at the size of that hound,” Edward VII clutched on to his silver wolf’s head walking stick and turned the other direction, “I’ll have to talk to Sherrielock some other day.”

. . .

“Who was that who text messaged you?” Amadeus asked as he was on his 99th cucumber and creamed cheese sandwich.

“Countess Draculina,” Renfield answered, “She fears that her father Count Dracula has been kidnapped by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith for some nefarious purpose so she’s coming over to talk to me.”

The doorbell rang.

Renfield went to answer it.

There at the door stood Countess Draculina.

“Good God!” Renfield exclaimed.

“What’s the matter?” Amadeus asked.

“I’ve got an enormous erection,” Renfield answered.

“You always were one to boast about that,” Angelique remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 17th
2019.

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Baphomet, Baal and Santa Muerte In The Congressional Cafeteria

February 8, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was trying to see if he could enhance the psychic powers of his genetically created psychic lobster Michelangelo by getting him to stare at a marble bust of the Greek nature satyr god Pan.

Michelangelo was only able to stare at Pan’s bust for 10 seconds before he brought up his dinner of a seaweed burger.

“He’s able to stare at the busts and other assets of the leather skirted dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes a lot longer,” remarked Miss Miranda Singh the Executive Secretary to Set Enterprises’ owner the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“Yes, but we don’t want any more lobster tank explosions,” Dr. Rocher didn’t want any more lab floodings that happened whenever his immortal and eternally young looking great-grandmother the professional dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister) entered the lab.

Sherrielock Holmes playing Cathy in a stage production of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights back in the 1930s.

However just the sight of looking at the marble bust of Pan was enough to send Michelangelo into a terrifying vision of the present.

. . .

The demon Baphomet was walking through the Congressional cafeteria on Capitol Hill with his good friend and devilish godfather/godmother Santa Muerte (who was worshipped by drug gangs and drug dealers in Mexico as their patron saint – he/she had originally been the fallen Archangel Samael but 85 years ago had become transgendered while living in Mexico and had undergone an extremely long transitioning process ever since- it was much longer for fallen angels like Samael than it was for mortal humans like Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner).

The two walked by House speaker Nancy Pelosi who was sitting there drinking Samuel Adams GOAT Beer (supposedly named after Tom Brady but really named after the Baphomet) and eating the cafeteria special of barbecued baby fingers and barbecued baby toes alongside the demon Baal.

“Well, the good thing is,” Santa Muerte/Samael slapped the Baphomet on the back, “is Pope Francis has now said that all religions are part of God’s plan in the joint statement that he signed on Human Fraternity with Sheikh Ahmad al-Tayyib the Grand Imam of Cairo’s al-Azhar University. So I guess that includes religions that worship us as well. This Pope Francis is certainly a lot more open minded than that Jesus Christ fellow ever was.”

They passed by a TV set in the cafeteria showing New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo doing a TV commercial for new Buffalo New York style Buffalo Baby Fingers and Buffalo Baby Toes.

. . .

German Cardinal Walter Kasper was thinking about the dreams he had been having every night since the start of this year.

He dreamt that he was visited each night by the Baphomet appearing to him as a combined incubus/succubus who had sexual relations with him.

He stopped to rub the fur of Amorous Laetitia the familiar black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft (a regular fixture around the Vatican since October 13th of 2017) as he pondered his dreams.


And in one of the Vatican greenhouses, Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal performed a ceremony using Pope Francis’s Baphomet stang that he carried at the Vatican Synod On Youth last autumn.

. . .

After having had these frightening visions of the Congressional Cafeteria on Capitol Hill and of the Vatican, Michelangelo had a more pleasant vision.

A vision of the billionaire vampire Set’s personal concert pianist Amadeus Emanon being married to the New Orleans vampiress/songstress Angelique Dumont in a beachside wedding on a tropical island a few years hence.

Wearing an extremely extremely powerful sunblock in addition to her wedding dress, the New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont is married to Amadeus Emanon in a beachside ceremony on a tropical island.

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Tom Brady and The Baphomet

February 6, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Celebrities, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was having lunch with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

Renfield was having his favourite item on the menu- the Deluxe Dagwood Bumstead sized tuna fish sandwich.

“So anyways,” Renfield went on between huge mouthfuls of tuna fish, “it turns out that the aide to Rep. Nancy Pelosi spoke to stakeholders in both Blue Cross and Blue Shield insurance companies and assured them that there was no way Rep. Pelosi would allow for a national publicly funded single payer health care system. Hence I was right to advise my favourite American politian Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to give Rep. Nancy Pelosi the raspberry she so richly deserved when the former arrived in Washington DC. Establishment Democrats are just as bad as Trump neo-Establishment Republicans in defending the interests of ordinary working class and middle class Americans but the pseudointellectuals who make up the editorial content and opinion of The New York Times and Washington Post haven’t figured that out yet. They’re still busy blaming the poor Russians for Trump’s victory in 2016. Have you noticed the Robert Mueller probe which has been going on and on have charged Trump’s cronies with all manner of felonies except collusion with the Russians? Trump and Pelosi may be divided when it comes to walls but when it comes to denying poor and sick Americans access to first rate quality health care, the Donald and Nancy are united as one. Egads that sickening imagery I just used in my last sentence I won’t be able to get out of my mind now.”

Renfield pushed aside his remaining half plate of the Deluxe Dagwood Bumstead Tuna Sandwich.

Amadeus (whose large appetite overcame any aversion he might have had towards Renfieldian imagery of Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi engaged in conjugal relations even though both were excellent at screwing the country) promptly started to eat the sandwich.

“And then of course the New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady who may or may not have inflatable and deflatable balls,” Renfield added, “is now promoting Baphomet worship through the beer named in his honour.”

“Baphomet the trans-species and transgendered hybrid goat-human demon worshiped by the Knights-Templar, Eliphas Levi, Aleister Crowley and all those groups who object to public displays of the 10 Commandments?” Amadeus stopped eating (albeit momentarily).

“The very same,” Renfield nodded.

“I’d heard about that,” said Angelique Dumont who was an American vampiress from New Orleans (and therefore most definitely not a Tom Brady fan), “The Samuel Adams Brewing Company based in Boston is brewing a limited edition beer that celebrates Tom Brady as the GOAT (Greatest of All Time except in those moments when his balls start deflating). But the goat they use in the image is the Baphomet goat head.”

“Wow,” Amadeus managed to say between mouthfuls of the tuna.

“And of course the quarterback holding the ball on the beer can who happens to have the head of the Baphomet bears the #12 on his jersey which of course is Tom Brady’s number but 2012 is also the year that the famous French Lovecraftian inspired artist and painter P.H. Felinedamour mysteriously disappeared on the night of December 21st just as the Baphomet was seen standing outside his art studios,” Renfield remarked as he sipped his Chai tea.

“Wow,” Amadeus repeated his mantra for the evening the same way that Fox news commentators mindlessly and stupidly repeat the mantra word of Venezuela whenever they were confronted with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s proposals for a publicly funded national healthcare system.

. . .

“Who are you?” New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady asked the ghostly white figure wearing the black mask who approached him.

“I am the ghost of Dr. Faustus,” the spectre replied, “the one who foolishly sold his soul to the demon Mephistopheles. I was recently granted temporary dispensational leave from Purgatory by Hades and Persephone the rulers of the Underworld to come warn you as Hades just happens to be a New England Patriots fan.”

“Warn me of what?” Brady spilled GOAT Beer all over himself.

“The Baphomet (whom you stupidly sold your soul to) will soon be coming for your soul,” Faustus sneezed an ectoplasmic sneeze all over the inside of his mask.

“But I was promised 7 Super Bowl titles in exchange for my soul,” Brady protested, “Just like Oliver Cromwell was promised 7 years of power as absolute ruler of Britain when he sold his soul to Lucifer the Devil himself. I only have 6 Super Bowl titles.”

“Yes, but the Antichrist might be coming soon,” Faustus took off his mask showing a heavily burnt and disfigured face, “and the Baphomet is afraid that in the confusion of the Apocalypse, your soul might somehow get away from him.”

“How the Hell is the Antichrist coming soon?” Brady asked.

“Well, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Pope Francis, Talpiot (which is the Israeli equivalent of DARPA) and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman are currently working on a strict timetable,” Faustus answered.

“Shit,” said Brady.

Faustus continued to walk down the street where he passed filmmaker Michael Moore in a pizzeria drinking GOAT Beer alongside the demon Baal and eating the pizzeria’s John Podesta pizza special.

-A vampire novel
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 6th
2019.


The Baphomet and Tom Brady merged in one on a GOAT Beer can.

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Hitler’s Ghost Views Paris and The Eiffel Tower As Amadeus and Angelique Make Out

August 23, 2018 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Hitler’s Ghost Views Paris and The Eiffel Tower As Amadeus and Angelique Make Out

Amadeus Emanon and his girlfriend the New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont were spending a romantic getaway in Paris France 🇫🇷.

The vampiress had stocked up on Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s special sunblock which prevented vampiresses from being fried to a crisp in the daylight sun.

They boated along the Seine River and lunched in elegant Parisienne street cafes as artists painted their portraits.

They watched someone wearing a Donald Trump mask dive into the river and announce to the world, “It’s official. I’m in Seine.”

They visited Notre Dame Cathedral and kissed under one of the gargoyles.

Not since the Hunchback of Notre Dame had lit up the night with Esmeralda the gypsy had the gargoyle seen such action.

Amadeus and Angelique then went to a spot with a great view of the Eiffel Tower and made out there.

Moments before, Amadeus had received a text message from his friend the British MP Renfield R. Renfield pointing out that today was the 79th Anniversary of the signing of the Nazi-Soviet Pact.

Renfield said he had just posted a message on the timeline of Vladimir Putin’s Facebook page to that effect and got a bunch of Russian 🇷🇺 expletives hurled at him in return.

And speaking of Nazis, Hitler’s Ghost had temporarily left the body of the grey wolf he was possessing and was walking in astral spirit form through the streets of Paris recounting memories of his glorious triumphal trip to Paris on June 28th 1940 after he had conquered the French nation.

He stood alongside Amadeus and Angelique as they looked at their tourist maps (fearing that Trump’s NSA would monitor the GPS on their smart phones) and stood looking out at the city before he then turned and gazed at the Eiffel Tower.

He then looked at Amadeus and Angelique who had dropped their tourist maps and were now kissing.

“Oh,” Der Fuhrer mused aloud to himself, “to be alive and young and in Paris.”

Coincidentally at that very same moment, Donald Trump was saying the exact same thing as he was watching an old reality TV show with Paris Hilton on Netflix.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 23rd
2018.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of Pope Francis’ Future Proclamation

June 3, 2017 at 3:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont waited impatiently by her car for her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon to leave the Set Enterprises building.

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont

Inside the building, Amadeus Emanon waited while Dr. Cadbury Rocher was checking the lab computers for the newest psychic revelation from the future that his genetically created psychic lobster Michelangelo was now receiving.

Eureka! Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster tapped on the aquarium glass with his lobster antennae in Morse code.

The revelation came in.

It was Pope Francis making an ex cathedra statement from the balcony of the Vatican.

Said Francis, “Many Muslims have expressed to me the desire to join the Catholic Church but they can’t because they cannot in good conscience accept the Doctrine of the Trinity nor the Doctrine of the Incarnate Deity of Jesus Christ. Henceforth in my capacity as Bishop of Rome, Successor of Peter and Vicar of Christ, I hereby proclaim ex cathedra that it’s no longer necessary to believe in the Doctrine of the Trinity or the Doctrine of the Incarnate Deity of Christ and still be Catholic. A Catholic no longer has to believe these doctrines.”

Dr. Cadbury Rocher and Amadeus Emanon both looked at the news telecast from the future (that Michelangelo had picked up on his lobster antennae) in shock.

Meanwhile outside, Angelique Dumont looked at her Rolex watch and said angrily, “The time is now.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 3rd
2017.

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Amadeus Gets A Cheesecake and Renfield Gets Walloped

May 11, 2016 at 5:39 pm (Comedy, Culture, Entertainment, Humour, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Gets A Cheesecake and Renfield Gets Walloped

Amadeus Emanon was sitting in a London tea shop with the New Orleans songstress and stage actress vampiress Angelique Dumont.

“I hear this stage magician Salaman the Magician puts on a wonderful show,” Angelique said reading a review in one of the London entertainment weeklies.

“He does,” Amadeus nodded, “I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I’m still totally mystified as to how he does his tricks. Like nothing I’ve ever seen.
Even better than Houdini, David Copperfield and Criss Angel in my opinion.”

“You saw Salaman the Magician?” Angelique raised an eyebrow, “By yourself?”.

“No, I was with Dulcinea Lucia,” Amadeus replied.

“The gypsy fortune teller?” Angelique raised her other eyebrow.

“That’s right,” Amadeus nodded again.

“You went on a date with Dulcinea Lucia?” Angelique glared at Amadeus.

“That is correct,” Amadeus put some honey in his tea.

“But I thought you and I were an item,” Angelique’s face flushed as red as her rouge red lipstick and her dinner the night before.

“I didn’t know we were an item,” Amadeus Emanon looked as surprised as a child’s face on Christmas morning.

“You didn’t know we were an item?” Angelique grabbed a piece of cheesecake off a passing waiter’s tray and shoved it in Amadeus’ face.

“Speaking of items, I didn’t know cheesecake was on the menu,” Amadeus wiped the cheesecake off his face.

. . .

In another corner of the tea shop, Renfield R. Renfield had his eyes on a very attractive woman wearing a green evening dress.

Renfield had recently been advised by his co-worker and fellow employee at Set Enterprises Dr. Cadbury Rocher that he needed to be more subtle in his approach with women.

Not to come on so strong.

Renfield decided to try this new approach that he had never before attempted.

So he walked past the woman and sang in a loud operatic style baritone voice, “Birds do it, bees do it, even dogs and trees do it…”

Purses apparently do it as well.

Because Renfield found himself clobbered over the head with the woman’s rather heavy purse and found himself lying on the floor with the woman in the green evening dress stepping over him and leaving the restaurant.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 10th
2016.

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Passing The Torch: Julius Caesar On The Ides of March

March 15, 2016 at 8:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Passing The Torch: Julius Caesar On The Ides of March

The great Shakespearian actor Quentin O’ Sullivan was starring in a West End London theatre production of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

After the performance he met a fellow performer the New Orleans actress and songstress Angelique Dumont for late night/early morning drinks in a cocktail lounge.

Miss Dumont was playing Mina Harker in a musical version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

When they parted, Quentin O’ Sullivan laughed to himself as he walked down the street.

There were rumours that Miss Angelique Dumont was herself a Vampiress.

Quentin laughed.

Oh where, oh where do these silly rumours get started?

He turned to look back in Angelique’s direction but there was no sign of the purple evening dress wearing lovely brunette songstress and actress.

Only a small bat flying down the street.

Quentin laughed again.

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow on his bed when he got home.

He dreamed a dream.

He dreamed he was in a theatre audience watching a live stage performance of Julius Caesar.

He could not see who was playing Caesar.

When Caesar fell after being stabbed by Brutus, Cassius and their fellow conspirators, the figure of Caesar dropped the Imperial Roman laurel crown of Emperor that Mark Antony had once offered him.

Donald Trump appeared on stage and picked up the blood soaked laurel wreath crown.

“Thank you, thank you very much ladies and gentlemen,” Donald Trump waved to the crowd, “The people of Ohio suck. But what can you say about a state that produces a comedian the likes of Drew Carey? However I thank all the intelligent voters who voted for me in all the places we won tonight. Thank you. And please light a votive candle to my genius and pray to my image. Thank you. Thank you very much.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 15th
2016.

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Ash Wednesday

February 10, 2016 at 7:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Ash Wednesday

It was Ash Wednesday 2016.

And so Tim Horton’s Restaurants were already advertising their Roll Up The Rim To Win TV commercials.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been told years ago by someone who was involved in advertising, “If you’ve ever noticed, Tim Horton’s always starts their Roll Up The Rim To Win coffee cup campaign in conjunction with Lent. There’s a very good reason for that. Because Tim Horton’s had begun to notice that when the Lenten season started, their coffee sales decreased. Because many people were giving up drinking coffee for Lent. So Tim Horton’s started their Roll Up The Rim To Win campaign. By offering the exciting prospect of winning exorbitant grand prizes by someone rolling up the rim to win on their coffee cup, people started giving up other things besides coffee for Lent.”

Since he was told that by the man in advertising back in 2007, Van Helsing paid attention ever since.

Sure enough, Tim Horton’s Roll Up The Rim To Win TV Commercials always appeared around Ash Wednesday and then vanished after Easter.

“Greed wins out over Christ every time,” the demon Mammon explained to guests in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York City.

Meanwhile Dracul Van Helsing was amused by an email he had just received from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

It seems that Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had decided to crash this Friday’s meeting between Pope Francis and Moscow Patriarch Kirill (the head of the Russian Orthodox Church) at Jose Marti International Airport in Havana, Cuba.

Meanwhile in London on this Ash Wednesday evening, the New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont wearing a purple evening dress was struggling in the middle of a fierce windstorm as she left the theatre where she had been singing the role of Mary Magdalene in a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar.

It was strange.

Instead of blowing snow, the wind was blowing great quantities of ash all around her.

“Where did all this ash come from?” Angelique asked herself as she wrapped her cape tightly around her.

In his bedroom at the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, Amadeus Emanon was having a dream about the movie director Alfred Hitchcock.

In the dream, Alfred Hitchcock was being interviewed by Barbara Walters.

Barbara Walters: Mr. Hitchcock, why did you always start your weekly TV show with the words “Good evening.” ?

Alfred Hitchcock: Well you see, Barbara, when I was a boy, I attended a Jesuit school for boys where my teachers were all Jesuit priests. As a result of that experience, it has always been my dream to someday direct a movie about a Jesuit priest who’s elected Pope. This Pope will prepare the world to accept the coming of the Antichrist. When he’s first elected Pope, when he goes out on the balcony of Saint Peter’s to address the world for the first time, instead of saying something like “Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ” (the words one might expect from a new Pope), he shall greet the world with a calm and quiet “Good evening” or as they say in Italian, “Buona sera.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 10th
2016.

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Amadeus Stardust

January 14, 2016 at 8:07 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, News, Obituaries, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Stardust

The New Orleans songstress and vampiress Angelique Dumont was sitting in a black evening dress in a West London theatre auditorium memorizing her lines for the role of Mina Harker in a musical version of Dracula.

She heard the theatre auditorium door open and in walked her friend Amadeus Emanon.

He looked disheveled and his hair was wild and uncombed.

“Why, Amadeus, what’s wrong?” Angelique asked him.

“David Bowie is dead,” said Amadeus, a tear dripping down his cheek.

“Why, yes,” Angelique nodded, “the whole world knows that David Bowie is dead. But… did you know him personally at all, Amadeus?”.

“No, I never met the man,” Amadeus started to weep uncontrollably.

Angelique reached into her purse and handed him a handkerchief which he accepted gratefully.

“You must have been quite a devoted fan,” Angelique patted his shoulder, “to take his death pretty hard.”

“He was one individual I could really relate to,” Amadeus wiped his eyes, “he and Oscar Wilde I could both relate to. Although of course Oscar Wilde was already dead by the time I was genetically cloned and created in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s lab, Oscar Wilde having died way back in 1900.”

“You could really relate to both Oscar Wilde and David Bowie?” Angelique was somewhat taken aback, “Does this mean you’re gay or bisexual, Amadeus?”.

Angelique was somewhat surprised. She had dated Amadeus on numerous occasions. Although Amadeus had always been the perfect gentlemen (as opposed to the multitude of horny males who were always trying to hump her particularly one Renfield R. Renfield), she had put this down to a somewhat Peter Pan style childlike innocence about him rather than a lack of sexual attraction to females.

“No,” said Amadeus, “what I liked about Wilde and Bowie was that they always felt like outsiders, like aliens, like strangers living in a strange land. I always felt like an outsider, an alien, having been cloned and genetically created in a lab and then born wholesale as an adult emerging from a giant test tube. I was adult in body at my birth but my mind was still like a child’s, like an infant’s. Even now, I still grapple with being an adult on the outside but I still feel like a child on the inside.”

Amadeus, she knew, had been cloned and created back in late 2005. So in effect he was only 10 years old although as he had said, he had emerged out of the giant test tube in Dr. Rocher’s lab with the body of an adult.

Funny, he and Renfield were so different.

Renfield, she understood, had been genetically cloned and created back in early 2005, several months before Amadeus.

He too had emerged from the giant test tube with the body of an adult.

But she gathered that Renfield had always acted with the mind of an adult.

Perhaps it was the DNA they were cloned from.

Amadeus was cloned from the DNA of strands of hair from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, British actor Alan Rickman and California mass murderer Charles Manson.

Renfield had been cloned from the DNA of strands of hair from Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, French poet Charles Baudelaire and Germany’s Iron Chancellor Otto von Bismarck as well as the DNA of North Korean cannibalistic killer hamsters (who had been secretly created in a Pyongyang lab back in 2000).

The latter strands of DNA allowed Renfield to shape shift from human to hamster and back again.

“I’m sorry you feel like such an outsider, Amadeus,” she patted his shoulder again.

“It doesn’t help knowing that I’ve got someone like Charles Manson in my DNA,” Amadeus moaned, “does this mean that I’m going to someday become a murderer like Manson?”.

“Despite what the eugenicists of old and the eugenicists of today might think,” Angelique whispered to Amadeus, “DNA like clothes do not make the man.”

Amadeus stopped crying.

“So,” Amadeus asked Angelique, “who do you think will be the next David Bowie?”.

Angelique smiled at him, “David Bowie was one of a kind. There will never be another David Bowie. Just like there will never truly be another Oscar Wilde. That’s the thing about great artists. They’re truly one of a kind. No one will ever be truly like them. Great artists were and are great because they were and always are what they are.”

“So no new David Bowie?”Amadeus looked at the stage.

“The world never does know what it’s looking for,” Angelique said, “it stumbles around like a man in a fog shrouded night. Oscar Wilde burst on the world in the late 19th Century. David Bowie burst on the world in the late 20th Century. The world is only 4 years away from the decade of the 2020s. Maybe what the world needs right now is not another Oscar Wilde or another David Bowie.”

“So,” Amadeus looked down, “what does the world need right now?”.

“Well,” Angelique stood up, “maybe what the world needs right now… is… Amadeus Emanon.”

Angelique walked away leaving Amadeus in the darkness of the theatre auditorium.

A few minutes later the theatre’s lightning technician, practicing for when the play started in an hour’s time, just happened to shine the spotlight on Amadeus sitting in his seat in the darkened auditorium.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 12th
2016.

Post-Script: The great actor Alan Rickman who played Severus Snape in all 8 Harry Potter films as well as numerous other great roles in film, on stage and on radio died today Thursday January 14th 2016 at the age of 69.

I’ve always been a huge fan of Alan Rickman.
When I first introduced the character of Amadeus Emanon into my series of vampire novels back in 2006, I chose Alan Rickman as one of the persons whose DNA was involved in his cloning.

I wrote this particular chapter two days ago Tuesday January 12th (two days after the death of David Bowie),

Little did I know at the time of that writing 2 days ago that Alan Rickman (from whom part of Amadeus Emanon was cloned) would die 2 days later.

It makes the ending of this chapter a lot more poignant (and possibly prophetic).

-Christopher

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Svetlana Kireeva On Earth Day

April 22, 2014 at 7:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Svetlana Kireeva On Earth Day

Spanish vampire Manuel de Rivera y Vargas was walking the streets of Memphis Tennessee.

Manuel was a good vampire.

In fact, he was a close friend of the famous Canadian vampire hunter Christopher Dracul Van Helsing who slew evil vampires.

Manuel a concert pianist by profession had been turned into a vampire against his will by the Egyptian Vampiress Isis in New York City back in 1942 after he had performed a particularly rousing rendition of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata in a Manhattan concert hall.

Although Manuel like all vampires needed human blood to survive, he refused to attack humans to get it.

He bought vials of blood from hospitals and the Red Cross.

The only person he had ever bitten and also turned into a vampire was a young woman who was dying of cancer and had requested it because she wanted to live a few more years.

The woman was Angelique Dumont an aspiring young classically trained singer and actress.

Manuel had found her in a crypt in a New Orleans cemetery which was submerged by floodwaters when Hurricane Katrina had smashed into Louisiana back in the summer of 2005.

Miss Dumont had gone to visit the Dumont Family Crypt to tell her ancestors that she was dying of cancer when the hurricane suddenly hit.

When Manuel found her almost submerged under water in the crypt, she refused to leave.

She said he could either bite her and turn her into a vampire or let her die by drowning than face the awful fate of an agonizing death by cancer.

So Manuel had granted her request.

Miss Dumont was now a successful singer and actress who appeared in musicals in the theatre district of West London in England.

The New Orleans Songstress as she was dubbed by the British press was particularly noted for playing the role of Christine Daae in the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical The Phantom of The Opera.

Like Manuel, Angelique did not attack humans but bought bottles of human blood from hospitals.

As for Manuel, he had watched the woman he loved- a beautiful young Iranian girl and reformer- being murdered by the tyrannical mullah’s regime in Tehran in the wake of the street protests that had gripped Iran in 2009-2010 following Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s re-election as President of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Now Manuel was in Memphis Tennessee taking a personal pilgrimage honouring another great musician he admired- Elvis Presley.

As Manuel stood outside Graceland, he blinked.

And the vampire Manuel although a supernatural creature himself was in shock.

For just like the singer in that song Walking In Memphis, he had just seen the Ghost of Elvis.

What could that possibly mean?

. . .

In another Memphis- Memphis, Egypt- the eerie winged Flying Eye of Horus flew above the ruins of the pillared hall of Rameses II at Memphis.

. . .

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II lay in bed.

From a distant room, she could hear the radio playing.

The song being played on the radio was being sung by Johnny Cash.

It was that old song The Devil Went Down To Georgia.

Her Majesty had always loved Johnny Cash’s music.

The Devil went down to Georgia.

Her Majesty gazed in the distance to the globe of the world by her bedroom window.

Coincidentally her eye fell on Georgia on the globe of the world- the spot seemed to be directly in her gaze.

Although it was not the Georgia of America’s Deep South

It was the Eastern European country of Georgia.

The country that Vladimir Putin had invaded in August 2008 and had seized the Georgian territories of Abkhazia and South Ossetia.

. . .

Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB stood inside the mausoleum of Lenin’s Tomb and gazed at the body of Lenin- founder of Soviet Russia and the Soviet Union- as he lay behind his glass enclosure.

Today was Lenin’s 144th birthday.

It was also Earth Day.

The world’s very first Earth Day had been April 22nd 1970- which had been Lenin’s 100th birthday.

The date had been selected by Communists who had infiltrated the then emerging environmental movement in the U.S.

The KGB and its agents hoped to seize control of the burgeoning environmental movement and use it to bring about the rapid industrial decline of the U.S. and the Western world.

In the meantime, heavy Soviet industry would continue to rape and pillage the sacred earth of Mother Russia in order to bring about the Soviet Workers’ Paradise on Earth while they hoped the environmental movement in the West would lead to the rapid industrial and technological decline of the U.S. , Great Britain and Western Europe.

And so Communist infiltrators in the U.S. environmental movement had deliberately chosen the date of Lenin’s 100th birthday- April 22nd 1970- as the world’s very first Earth Day.

And none of the non-Communist members of the environmental movement had ever bothered asking why that particular date had been chosen for Earth Day.

As Lenin himself had shrewdly and astutely noted, there would be no shortage of “useful idiots” for the Communist cause in the West.

And so here on this 44th Earth Day, Svetlana Kireeva stood inside Lenin’s tomb and made a personal vow to restore the Empire that Lenin and Stalin had built.

This April 22nd 2014.

Lenin’s 144th birthday.

144.

12 x 12.

12.

Like the 12 Tribes of Israel.

144,000.

144,000 witnesses in the Book of Revelation.

12,000 from each of the 12 Tribes of Israel.

Israel.

Were Israel and Russia connected somehow? she wondered.

Suddenly to her horror, Lenin’s eyes opened on his corpse behind the glass enclosure and Lenin’s corpse spoke these words,

“The time is now.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 22nd
2014.

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