Ragnarok Approacheth

November 8, 2020 at 11:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I’d like to thank all the dead voters who helped me win this election…”
-Joe Biden in a special recorded message to residents of cemeteries.

“When the Norse god of thunder accidentally hit his thumb with his hammer Mjolnir once, his thumb was mighty Thor.”
-The Norse trickster god Loki

“If you were to take all the veins and arteries in your body and line them up from end to end, you’d be dead.”
-Dr. Marmalade Montague
eccentric scientist at Set Enterprises’ laboratories, London, England

“There is a division in the world today between objective reality and a fictional narrative as presented by the mainstream media.
Despite overwhelming objective evidence of a massive electoral fraud never before seen in U.S. history, the mainstream media insist that Biden won legitimately and even proclaimed him President-elect yesterday even though the vote counts haven’t been finished yet and the recounts haven’t even begun.
Biden and Covid-19 are both holograms (artificial realities) created by global elitists to pave the way for their Great Reset New World Order.
Biden and Covid-19 will be used until such time as they have served their purpose and will then be replaced by two new holograms Covid-21 and Kamala Harris when the Great Reset finally comes into view.”
-Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano in a letter dated and released Sunday November 8th 2020.

Michelangelo the Psychic lobster noted that the Vigano letter was indeed objective reality and other statements might be attributed to a Calgary based geopolitical analyst’s fictional narrative which was much more interesting and definitely better written than the mainstream media’s fictional narrative (although the geopolitical analyst’s fictional narrative contained more kernels of truth than the mainstream Marxist media’s fictional narrative ever could).

Michelangelo went back under the water and had his breakfast.

A Haitian witch doctor (who was Hillary Clinton’s personal voodoo instructor) had been brought in last week to raise Confederate soldiers and KKK members from the dead to go to the polls and vote in favour of Joe Biden.

After all Joe Biden had been a very good friend of KKK Democratic Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia who kicked the bucket back in 2010 and Biden had given a glowing eulogy at the latter’s funeral.

Biden had made numerous racist and anti-black statements over the years including his most recent, “If you’re a black who’s going to vote for Trump, then you ain’t black enough.”

Despite being a white supremacist and associating with Klansmen, he had pledged allegiance to both Xi Jinping and the coming Great Reset New World Order.

And that was all the global elitists, the mainstream Marxist media and the Neo-Maoist social media global tech giants (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google) cared about.

The Norse god Loki had used the asshole of his son the Norse World Serpent Jormungandr to shit ballots for the Biden-Harris ticket out of his ass to use in the states of Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania as well as the states of North Carolina, Georgia and Arizona.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Loki.

In order for Jormungandr to shit Biden-Harris ballots out of his ass, he had to release his tail out of his mouth.

For Jormungandr was an ouroboros a serpent who swallowed his own tail.

Suddenly a thought hit Loki.

An old Norse prophecy said that when Jormungandr released his tail from his mouth, the Battle of Ragnarok (the Norse Apocalypse and the Norse equivalent of the Biblical Battle of Armageddon) would begin.

And he Loki would die at Ragnarok.

“Oh shit,” Loki began hitting his forehead, “Oh, what a dummy.Oh, what a dummy.”

Meanwhile Loki’s son Fenrir the great Norse wolf was happily frolicking through the snow.

Dr. Marmalade Montague of Set Enterprises was looking at a blown up slide of the genome of the Covid-19 virus after Michelangelo had brought it into clearer focus with his lobster claws.

He was shocked to see something in the genome of the Covid-19 virus that no one else had seen before.

There clearly inserted into the genome was a photographic image of the Norse wolf Fenrir frolicking in the snow.

Pope Francis was having a conversation with one of his Cardinals Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

“I wish someone would rid me of this troublesome Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano,” Francis moaned.

“Well, I think there’s been a wide supply of poisons available in the Vatican since the days of the Renaissance hasn’t there been, your Non-Holiness?” Cardinal Salaman asked.

The ghost of Lucrezia Borgia wandered through the room carrying a spectral bottle of poison while Amorous Laeticia (the pet black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft) hid her large saucer of Baileys Irish Cream (that she preferred to milk) in a safe place that Lucrezia wouldn’t be able to tamper with.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 8th
2020.

Permalink 19 Comments

Archbishop Vigano Says The Vatican Never Released The Text of The Third Secret of Fatima

April 29, 2020 at 10:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Archbishop Vigano Says The Vatican Never Released The Text of The Third Secret of Fatima

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were once again walking the streets of Rome.

They noticed a cardinal giving money to a bunch of distressed looking drag queens standing at a street corner.

“That cardinal looks familiar,” Nimrod remarked as he licked a black fly flavoured ice cream cone he was holding in his little webbed hands.

“That’s Cardinal Konrad Krajewski the Papal Almoner (papal chaplain in charge of distributing money to the deserving poor),” Asmodeus replied, “Ever since the Covid-19 pandemic struck, Rome’s transgendered prostitutes have suffered a work stoppage as a result of no more clients taking them out.”

“So, why is the Papal Almoner giving them money?” Nimrod inquired.

“Guilt, I imagine,” Asmodeus ate a take out plate of lasagna, “It was Francis’ Vatican officials who were undoubtedly their biggest customers. Kept them in their Paris and Milan designed sequined dresses, Wolford pantyhose and Christian Louboutin spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes. Now they’re having to settle for hand me downs from the Salvation Army Women’s Clothing Department. It must have been quite the come down financially and fashionally speaking.”

A rare American tourist couple – a man and a woman- were out walking the deserted streets of Rome in total disobedience to the Italian government’s lockdown orders.

They were walking up the street and away from the Vatican.

The woman turned around and looked at the Vatican whereupon she turned into a pillar of salt.

“I see Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano (who’s been in hiding since the summer of 2018 to avoid being bumped off by Pope Francis’ gay lavender mafia) is saying that the Third Secret of Fatima (words spoken by the Virgin Mary to three shepherd children at Fatima, Portugal in 1917) has never been officially released by the Vatican despite Vatican claims they released it back on June 26th 2000,” Nimrod ate some Boston clam chowder soup with several flies in it.

“That’s true,” Asmodeus ate a beef donair, “British MP Renfield R. Renfield discovered the actual Third Secret in a retired Austrian Army colonel’s briefcase back on November 9th 2018. The same day that a geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield discovered that the text of the Third Secret had been given by the Virgin Mary to a Japanese nun Sister Agnes Sasagawa on October 13th 1973 finding the full message of Our Lady of Akita by deciding that the full message might actually be located at the back pages of Google Search on the topic Our Lady of Akita rather than towards the front.”

“And what was the essence of the message?” Nimrod swiped some hand sanitizing lotion from the back pockets of a Rome policeman so he could wash and sanitize his little webbed hands.

“It said that a Great War would be started in the 21st Century by Satan’s partisans in the East (possibly a reference to Russia or China or North Korea as Satan’s partisans in the West would of course be the United States of America and the European Union), fire would fall from Heaven and turn the waters of the ocean into steam and millions of people would die by the minute. There was also a prophecy that Satan would end up controlling one third of the Catholic clergy and Satan would succeed in infiltrating to the very top of the Church,” Asmodeus ate a submarine sandwich.

“What is considered the very top of the Church?” Nimrod struggled to get the top off a jar of roasted hazelnut peanut butter.

“The Papacy,” Asmodeus grabbed the jar of roasted hazelnut peanut butter for Nimrod and yanked the top off.

On the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica as the sun was setting, Pope Francis was making hand shadow puppets in the form of a horned goat’s head.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 29th
2020.

Permalink 11 Comments