Orson Welles Tells A Story About An Ox On Chinese New Year’s Eve

February 11, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles were celebrating Chinese New Year’s Eve via Skype with Mei-ling Manchu (who was Renfield’s ally in seeking to topple the Communist despot Xi Jinping from power in China).

Mei-ling Manchu was sampling a most delectable variety of rice wine.

Renfield was sipping from a rather large glass of sherry.

Orson Welles’ ghost was sipping from a rather large spectral glass of spectral sherry.

“Well, Happy Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass in a toast.

“Happy Year of the Ox,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in.

They drank to the New Year.

Hoping it would be better than the Year of the Rat which saw various plagues descend upon the world.

“Do you know there’s a little known Arthurian tale about Merlin being turned into an ox by the enchantress Morgan le Fay?” Welles’ ghost asked.

“It must be little known,” Renfield admitted, “because I don’t know it.”

Mei-ling laughed.

“Yes,” Welles’ ghostly cheeks were turning from ghostly white to cherry red after imbibing much sherry, “I’ll tell it to you now.”

And this is the story Welles’ ghost told:

It had come to the attention of Morgan le Fay that Merlin was urging Arthur to exile her from Camelot for making illegal moonshine.

The moon was apparently shining on nights when there wasn’t a full moon.

Angry, Morgan took a walk into the woods.

There she stumbled upon an inn The Wild Boar Inn.

Morgan entered the inn, ordered a glass of mead and sat down by the fireplace.

While there she noticed the rather corpulent Baron Grimwald of Grease sitting at a table demanding a large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.

“But there’s no ox in the vicinity,” the innkeeper protested.

“Bullocks,” Baron Grimwald cursed.

Morgan left a coin on the table after finishing her glass of mead and left the inn.

While traversing a path through the woods, she stumbled upon Merlin.

Morgan recalled a spell for turning a person into an ox and so she did that to Merlin.

She hastened back to the inn.

“Oh, innkeeper,” she laughed, “There’s an ox walking along that path through the woods. You can now give Baron Grimwald his large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.”

“Great,” the innkeeper grabbed all his butcher knives and headed out with his servants to slay and cut up the ox.

Merlin’s owl realized his master was in trouble so headed back to Camelot Castle for help.

Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table were at the time at a jousting tournament in another part of the realm.

Queen Guenevere was there however and she could even speak owl even though no one else in King Arthur’s court gave a hoot.

So Queen Guenevere got on her grayish white horse and rode to the rescue.

She arrived at the Wild Boar Inn just as the innkeeper and his servants were about to butcher the poor ox.

“Wait,” Guenevere got off her high horse.

“Your Majesty,” the innkeeper and his servants bowed to her.

Guenevere happened to know the spell for turning an ox back into a man and therefore used it.

The ox turned back into Merlin.

“Bullocks,” said Morgan when she saw what happened.

“”Bullocks,” said Baron Grimwald when he saw that his dinner was no more.

“And so that’s how Guenevere rescued Merlin from becoming a broiled ox soup,” Welles’ ghost smiled.

“No, I’ve definitely never heard that story before,” Renfield admitted.

“Nor I,” said Mei-ling.

“Here’s to the Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass again.

“Happy New Year,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in the toast.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 11th
2021.

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Arthur On Christmas Day

December 25, 2017 at 10:48 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Arthur On Christmas Day

The boy Arthur walked through the forest.

He was walking back home to retrieve his brother Kay’s sword.

His brother had forgotten it the day of a big tournament.

As he walked, the lovely dark-haired wood nymph Morgana walked out from behind a tree.

She stood there in a lovely silvery white dress.

“Arthur,” she called out to him.

“Morgana,” Arthur smiled.

They walked back to her cabin where they spent the afternoon making love.

When they finished, Arthur walked back to the tournament.

A couple of miles from the tournament site, it suddenly hit Arthur that he had been so busy using his own sword that afternoon, he had completely forgotten about his brother Kay’s.

It was then that he noticed an ancient church and churchyard.

In the churchyard was a large stone with a sword sticking out of it.

Arthur walked over to the stone and pulled out the sword.

“This seems to be a fairly good sword,” Arthur smiled, “even better than Kay’s. My brother should be pleased.”

Arthur turned in the direction of the tournament.

He failed to notice the inscription written on the stone, “Whosoever pulleth this sword out of this stone is destined to become the great High King of the Britons.”

A new destiny had arrived for Britain on that Christmas Day.

A destiny in more ways than one.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 25th
2017.

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King Arthur Meets Morgana: A Poem

March 27, 2017 at 4:31 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Through the mountains of Wales the young Arthur walked
recalling the days when he and his mentor Merlin talked
his mentor Merlin told him to beware of nymphs in these mountain passes
sexy creatures warned Merlin who turned men into bumbling jackasses

But Arthur was enjoying the crisp winter day
caring not what came his young regal way
he turned the corner
and erect went his sonar
though the aquatic tracking device Merlin saw was several years down the road
but what Arthur saw he now carried quite the heavy load

Morgana The Enchantress

And so the young King Arthur forgot Merlin’s sage advice
that night of lust would later cut him like a knife
so therefore my dear reader, beware of nymphs in the mountains
for like Arthur, what is sown may reap war’s blood-filled fountains.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday March 27th 2017

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