Sleipnir: A Poem

December 14, 2015 at 8:08 pm (Folklore, Mythology, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Sleipnir: A Poem

From Sleipnir
to reindeer
what a path was trod
from flying steed of Odin the Norse god
to aerodynamic reindeer carrying a red suited bod
oh what metamorphoses have taken place
Joseph Campbell noted till he was blue in the face
but now we’ll return to the beginning of the tale
just shortly after Jonah was snack for a whale
There was a Norse warrior Marlon Brando godfather like in appearance
whose body was so wide he needed plenty of room for clearance
he talked like he had marbles in his mouth
no one understood him from north to south
He made people offers they couldn’t refuse
And if they did, they wound up with body parts they could no longer use.

Now there was a Norseman who pissed off this godfatheresque Chief
And doing so would cause him a lot of grief
Godfather told Loki to put a horse’s head in his bed
Severed from his body, the horse would be dead.

Now Svadilfari was the name of this stallion
if he were a car, he’d get many miles to the gallon
Now Loki was a pervert of perverts beyond measure
his deeds would be something Caligula would treasure

When Loki saw Svaldifari was a handsome stud
his knees turned to jelly and his toes to mud
Loki turned himself into a mare
with long mane flowing hair
and they got it on in the buff- all naked and bare

So no horse’s head
wound up in warrior bed
Instead Loki gave birth to an 8-legged horse
Commented Mr. Ed, “Of course. Of course.”

And so Sleipnir was born
with 8 legs but no horn.

And so Odin rides this 8-legged steed across the skies
still seen by those on psychedelic highs.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday December 14th 2015
where Norse mythology meets
The Godfather Part One.

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Thor At The Movie Premiere of Thor

May 5, 2011 at 10:23 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon ate his popcorn as he stood in line outside a movie theatre in London waiting for the midnight Premiere of the movie Thor to open.

“You brought your own popcorn?” his girlfriend the New Orleans vampiress and operatic songstress Angelique Dumont said as she smoothed her navy blue skirt.

“Yes, to prevent my getting hungry while I stand in line,” Amadeus answered.

Just then a pizza delivery boy on a bicycle came up to him.

“You the Amadeus Emanon that called us on your BlackBerry?” the boy asked.

“That’s right,” Amadeus nodded.

“You ordered the ham, pineapple and curried chicken pizza?” the boy produced a box.

“Yes,” Amadeus paid and tipped the boy.

He opened the box and offered a slice to Angelique.

“You think of everything,” Angelique laughed as she threw back her hair, “so where is Renfield this evening?”.

“He’s still lying unconscious in a bed of the neurosciences unit of King’s College Hospital,” Amadeus replied.

“You mean after he knocked himself out when he discovered that you and your boss Set’s manservant Athelstan had both been invited to the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton and he hadn’t,” Angelique smirked.

“That’s right,” Amadeus bit into a slice of the steaming hot ham, pineapple and curried chicken pizza.

“Say, get a load of that guy there dressed like Thor,” Angelique pointed.

Amadeus looked in the direction that Angelique pointed.

The Thor like figure flashed a smile showing vampiric incisors.

Amadeus stopped eating and gasped, “Say, you really are the ancient Norse vampire Thor aren’t you?”.

“Yes,” Thor moved in threateningly with his hammer Mjollnir, “I am the son of Odin. I’ve come to see how Hollywood depicts me.”

“Very sympathetically I would imagine,” Amadeus reached for his Crucifix in his jacket pocket.

“Yes, probably,” Thor laughed and walked to the front of the line.

“Very sinister person in real life,” Angelique noted.

“Not at all like the Marvel Comics character,” Amadeus put the Crucifix back in his pocket and swallowed a pineapple off his pizza slice.

To be continued.

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