Ash Wednesday 2021

February 17, 2021 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was walking the streets of Rome.

Away from the Vatican.

He could not stand the hypocrisy of the place.

He himself was an atheist with some leanings towards Jewish kabbalistic mysticism.

Thus he was surprised when he was invited a few years ago by Francis to become a Cardinal and ended up being baptised, confirmed, ordained a deacon then a priest and then consecrated a bishop and then elevated to the Cardinalate all on the same day.

Still he found today’s display of a whole bunch of priests, bishops and cardinals pouring ashes over one another’s heads (instead of using the ash to mark the Sign of the Cross on one another’s forehead) a bit much.

It seemed that the Vatican was more concerned with the worship of the One, Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus than it was with the worship of Jesus Christ True God and True Man.

He found it strange that those who professed to believe the Catholic Faith did not do so.

Maybe he should leave the Cardinalate.

The smell of mendacity was too much for him to stomach.

As he walked along the street, he came in sight of an elderly priest with a silvery white beard.

The man stood holding a small bowl.

“Good evening, Father,” the Cardinal greeted him.

“Good evening, your Eminence,” said the priest, “Do you know what day it is?”.

The Cardinal was about to say “It’s Wednesday” and then he thought carefully about it and instead answered, “It’s Ash Wednesday.”

“It is,” the priest nodded and then taking ashes from the small bowl marked the Cardinal’s forehead with the Sign of the Cross using the ashes saying, “Dust thou art and unto dust thou shalt return.”

And with that the priest vanished.

Quite literally vanished.

Just disappeared.

Into thin air.

Not knowing what to make of it, Cardinal Salaman continued walking.

It must have been a figment of my imagination, the Cardinal thought to himself.

He happened to pass a fountain.

He looked down and noticed his reflection.

The Sign of the Cross in dark black ashes was there on his forehead.

Looking very very real.

And not illusory.

A church bell rang in the distance.

Only once.

Seemingly the only sound on these desolate Roman streets in this the 2nd year of the One Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus.

On this Ash Wednesday 2021.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Ash Wednesday
Wednesday February 17th
2021.

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Jack O’ Hare On Saint David’s Day: A Short Poem

March 1, 2017 at 7:42 pm (Children's Story, Comedy, Humour, Poetry, Religion) (, , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare On Saint David’s Day: A Short Poem

Saint David’s Day today
Saint David the patron Saint of Wales
Some whales landed on Welsh shores
this Ash Wednesday 2017
claiming him as their Saint

Jack O’ Hare the wild rabbit ate some Welsh rarebit
in celebration.

-A short poem
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 1st
2017.

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Ash Wednesday

February 10, 2016 at 7:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Ash Wednesday

It was Ash Wednesday 2016.

And so Tim Horton’s Restaurants were already advertising their Roll Up The Rim To Win TV commercials.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been told years ago by someone who was involved in advertising, “If you’ve ever noticed, Tim Horton’s always starts their Roll Up The Rim To Win coffee cup campaign in conjunction with Lent. There’s a very good reason for that. Because Tim Horton’s had begun to notice that when the Lenten season started, their coffee sales decreased. Because many people were giving up drinking coffee for Lent. So Tim Horton’s started their Roll Up The Rim To Win campaign. By offering the exciting prospect of winning exorbitant grand prizes by someone rolling up the rim to win on their coffee cup, people started giving up other things besides coffee for Lent.”

Since he was told that by the man in advertising back in 2007, Van Helsing paid attention ever since.

Sure enough, Tim Horton’s Roll Up The Rim To Win TV Commercials always appeared around Ash Wednesday and then vanished after Easter.

“Greed wins out over Christ every time,” the demon Mammon explained to guests in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York City.

Meanwhile Dracul Van Helsing was amused by an email he had just received from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

It seems that Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had decided to crash this Friday’s meeting between Pope Francis and Moscow Patriarch Kirill (the head of the Russian Orthodox Church) at Jose Marti International Airport in Havana, Cuba.

Meanwhile in London on this Ash Wednesday evening, the New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont wearing a purple evening dress was struggling in the middle of a fierce windstorm as she left the theatre where she had been singing the role of Mary Magdalene in a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar.

It was strange.

Instead of blowing snow, the wind was blowing great quantities of ash all around her.

“Where did all this ash come from?” Angelique asked herself as she wrapped her cape tightly around her.

In his bedroom at the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, Amadeus Emanon was having a dream about the movie director Alfred Hitchcock.

In the dream, Alfred Hitchcock was being interviewed by Barbara Walters.

Barbara Walters: Mr. Hitchcock, why did you always start your weekly TV show with the words “Good evening.” ?

Alfred Hitchcock: Well you see, Barbara, when I was a boy, I attended a Jesuit school for boys where my teachers were all Jesuit priests. As a result of that experience, it has always been my dream to someday direct a movie about a Jesuit priest who’s elected Pope. This Pope will prepare the world to accept the coming of the Antichrist. When he’s first elected Pope, when he goes out on the balcony of Saint Peter’s to address the world for the first time, instead of saying something like “Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ” (the words one might expect from a new Pope), he shall greet the world with a calm and quiet “Good evening” or as they say in Italian, “Buona sera.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 10th
2016.

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