Kwan Yin and The Goldfish

January 8, 2021 at 11:30 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


The immortal princess Kwan Yin in the middle of a goldfish pond in a Thai garden complex

The immortal princess Kwan Yin (who was venerated as the goddess of mercy within certain branches of Buddhism) sat in the middle of a goldfish pond in a Thai garden complex.

The goldfish in this pond were likewise immortal.

In fact they had been in various ponds and various fountains all over the world throughout their long lives having been sent there by the monks who owned the garden complex.

But always they eventually returned home to this goldfish pond in this garden complex owned by a group of Thai monks.

One of the places they stayed was the Nephthys Hotel in Cairo.

They had stayed in the hotel fountain lobby from 1949 to 1953.

When they retuned home to this Thai garden complex pond, the biggest of the gold fish vomited forth a skeleton.

The skeleton remained unidentified for years until they cracked the human genetic code in the late 1990s and the early 2000s.

And after DNA tests were done on the skeleton, it was determined that the skeleton belonged to a British businessman who had disappeared at the hotel back in 1949.

On this occasion in the year 2021, one of the goldfish in the pond jumped up on the fountain step in the middle of the pond where the princess Kwan Yin was sitting and after doing a voice impersonation of actor Humphrey Bogart coughed up a very old matchbook.

Of the variety that were once given out in restaurants, bars, lounges, pubs and nightclubs all over the globe during the days and nights and years and decades when cigarette smoking was allowed in public in most places.

People in those days and nights and years and decades often collected these matchbooks (with their matches inside) as souvenirs.

Because the matchbook usually had on its cover the name and logo of the establishment that was handing out the matchbook (usually for free to paying customers who bought food and drink from the establishment) as well as the name of the town or city and country where the establishment was located.

This matchbook had the name Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub Cairo Egypt on it as well as what was presumably the club’s logo.

Kwan Yin opened up the matchbook and discovered written on the inside slip (across from the place where the matches were lined up) the name Asherah as well as the words juniper, cucumber and damask rose which were said to be the ingredients used in resurrecting a leprechaun from the dead or so the matchbook’s previous owner had once written.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 8th
2021

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Carson Cody Albion Meets Princess Arabella

January 4, 2021 at 11:52 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


The world famous belly dancer Princess Arabella in Cairo Egypt in 1949

Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion was spending his holidays in Egypt.

After seeing the pyramids and sailing along the Nile, Albion returned to Cairo.

In his hotel lobby, a thorougly inebriated British businessman told Albion he should go to the Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub and see the belly dancer Princess Arabella.

“Is she a real princess?” Albion asked as he lit himself a cigarette.

“She has no royal blood in her,” the businessman explained, “but she definitely is a princess of dance.”

The businessman then fell face forward into the lobby fountain where he was swallowed by a giant goldfish.

“That’s the seventh time this week that’s happened to one of our hotel guests,” the hotel manager pulled his hair out.

Albion walked down to the Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub to see Princess Arabella as the dancer was called.

He very much enjoyed her show.

Afterwards he walked backstage to her dressing room:

“Did you enjoy the show, Mr. Albion?” She asked him as she smiled.

“You’ve heard of me?” Albion was surprised.

“Carson Cody Albion,” the Princess enunciated each one of his names very carefully, “The Egyptian goddess Isis spoke of you as did the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis and Semiramis the Queen of Babylon”.

“You seem to get around in divine and semi-divine circles,” Albion lit a cigarette and adjusted his private eye fedora hat atop his head.

“I’m not really a princess,” she smiled.

“So I was told by a thoroughly inebriated pinnacle of British commerce and trade prior to his being swallowed by a goldfish,” Albion blew smoke rings.

“I’m a goddess,” she lay back on her chair.

“I would agree with that epithet,” Albion gazed down appreciately at her.

“The goddess Asherah,” she laughed.

“I’ll have to look up that name in my mythology encyclopedia when I get back to LA,” Albion wrote down her name on his matchbook that had the logo and the name for Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub.

“Why don’t you look me up here while you have the chance?” She walked over to her dressing room couch and lay back on it.

“I like your quick action style of thinking,” Albion took off his fedora and raincoat.

“Well let’s hope you’re a quick action man who takes it nice and slow when it comes to the most important part,” she licked her lips.

“Your Divine Essence,” one of the nightclub waiters entered her dressing room, “one of our guests Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun seems to have choked to death while eating our world famous Alexandrian mollusks. What are we to do?”.

“Alexandrian mollusks are one of a few things that’s positively fatal to normally immortal leprechauns,” Asherah/Arabella, who had read the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments, remarked.

“Is there anything we can do to resurrect him and bring him back from the dead?” The waiter asked, “Having an Irish leprechaun die on the premises will bring bad publicity and be bad for business. The assistant manager has already impaled himself in shame on the spear of the statue of Vlad the Impaler that the bazaar sculptor is working on in his bazaar workshop tent.”

“Giving him a mixture of juniper, cucumber and damask rose is guaranteed to bring a leprechaun back from the dead,” Asherah/Arabella smiled, “or so Asclepius told me just before the Greek god Zeus killed him with a thunderbolt.”

Albion wrote down that remedy for resurrection of leprechauns in his souvenir Qadshu Bazaar Nightclub matchbook just on the off chance it might be needed someday.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 4th
2021.

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Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

October 3, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

At the Vatican in Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was still in heavenly bliss after spending a night making out with the Vampiress Allatallahbel’s astral body twin double the succubus Asherah who was wearing a sexy nun’s outfit of veil, short skirted habit mini dress and black silk pantyhose.

Pope Francis was still vomiting 🤮 Gadarene pigs’ feet.

He got a Get Well card from Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy which gave him a recipe for a Korean pork dish with the inscription, “Try this. Korean pork is a lot healthier and less demonically possessed than Gadarene pork.”

At Brisbane in Australia 🇦🇺 meanwhile the pervert friendly and demon worshipping Roman Catholic Archbishop Mark Coleridge was having a dream where he was dressed as an ancient mariner and slaying albatrosses with a cross bow left, right and center.

A group of angry sailors angry that their ship had crashed on the rock as a result of Archbishop Coleridge slaying so many albatrosses ripped the gold pectoral Cross off from around his neck and put a necklace of albatrosses around his neck.

The Archbishop’s gods Baal and Baphomet appeared to him and said they actually preferred the necklace of albatrosses around his neck rather than the Cross.

Archbishop Coleridge went into a pub and downed several pitchers of Carlton Draught.

After doing so, the Archbishop went into a reception hall and stopped a wedding guest from entering the hall in order to tell him his story of the slaughter of the albatrosses.

The wedding guest punched Archbishop Coleridge and sent him flying across 3 oceans into a British Premier League football ⚽️ stadium.

The Archbishop decided to become a hawker of goods in the stadium and went around shouting “Albatross! Albatross!”.

“What does it taste like?” asked a spectator.

“How do I know what it tastes like?” The Archbishop retorted angrily, “It tastes like bloody sea bird bloody flavour.”

“Do you get wafers with it?” The spectator asked.

“Of course you don’t get bloody wafers with it,” Archbishop Coleridge answered as Communion wafers fell out of his ass by the truck load.

“All right, I’ll take that one then,” the spectator paid the Archbishop and the Archbishop ripped the selected albatross off his necklace of albatrosses and gave it to the man.

Archbishop Coleridge was then attacked by a zombie 🧟‍♂️ Norwegian Blue parrot tired of pining for the fjords and so brought back from the dead.

The Archbishop fell from the stands on to the field.

On the field, he was set upon and choked to death by a python 🐍 named Monty.

After kicking the bucket, Archbishop Coleridge was horrified to discover that his idol Pope Francis was wrong about Hell.

Mercifully at the moment Coleridge tumbled into the flames 🔥 while Australian singer Olivia Newton John sang, “Xanadu, your neon lights will shine for you, Xanadu” while the Mongolian Chinese Emperor Kublai Khan stood and applauded, the Archbishop suddenly woke up.

It had all been a dream.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 3rd
2018.

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