Shiva Visits An Episcopalian Cathedral

July 13, 2017 at 5:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Shiva Visits An Episcopalian Cathedral

Former MPs Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were on a trip to New York City together.

Both men had been defeated in their respective constituencies by candidates for the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party in the recent British general election.

Agathor Christie of the British Conservatives had been defeated in his rural English constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds by British Transhumanist Renfield R. Renfield (the former Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises).

And Magog Rhys Petley of the British Labour Party had been defeated in his rural Welsh constituency of Newbridge by Transhumanist Morgana Fay Lee (who some people claimed was a vampiress and the niece of the Arthurian era sorceress Morgan Le Fay).

Since both men had two things in common- 1) both being defeated by British Transhumanists and 2) Both having an utter loathing for British Prime Minister Theresa May for calling a snap general election, the two men decided to go on a trip together to drown their respective sorrows.

Britain’s Sun tabloid newspaper had reported on the trip with the headline ELECTORAL DEFEAT MAKES STRANGE BEDFELLOWS.

Today Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were visiting the Episcopal Cathedral of Saint John The Divine in New York City which was the largest Anglican Cathedral in the world.

As they stood there looking up at the Rose Window, a strange looking fellow walked by.

“Say,” Magog nudged Agathor, “isn’t that the Hindu god Shiva?”.

“I believe it is,” Agathor put on his glasses and peered at the deity known as “The Destroyer” and “The Transformer” within the Hindu religion.

“What’s he doing in an Episcopal Cathedral?” Magog asked.

“Perhaps he’s becoming an Episcopalian,” Agathor replied.

“Shiva becoming an Episcopalian?” Magog was incredulous.

“Yes,” Agathor nodded.

“Gods don’t become Episcopalian,” retorted the atheistic Magog.

“They don’t become Catholic either,” Agathor reflected, “since Pope Francis says that there’s no Catholic god.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, officials reported that the large statue of Shiva the Destroyer outside the Collider tunnel had come to life and disappeared.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ resident chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was reading an article on how a Harvard University scientific research team had used the Crispr genome editing tool to insert a gif (five frames of a horse galloping) into the DNA of bacteria.

The gif was the image of a human hand and 5 frames of the horse Annie G captured in the late 19th Century by British pioneer photographer Eadweard Muybridge.

“Wow, inserting an image into DNA to allow it to pass down through generations,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher hit his head, “why didn’t I think of that before?”.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher decided to try this for himself.

For his image, he used a 5 minute YouTube video clip of the meeting between Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Donald Trump at last week’s G-20 summit in Hamburg Germany.

The clip not shown on any of the Fake News networks across the world showed the demon Asmodeus standing immediately behind the sitting Putin and sitting Trump and playing on his harmonica the musical melody to Lara’s Theme from the movie Doctor Zhivago.

Being the genius that Dr. Cadbury Rocher was, he was able to, in 5 minutes, insert the YouTube video into the DNA of bacteria what it took 5 days for the Harvard research team to do on their 5 frame gif.

He then put the bacteria in a sealed test tube and left it in the lab.

The Norse trickster god Loki, who had been hiding under a desk seeing what Dr. Cadbury Rocher was up to, decided to take the sealed test tube of bacteria and immediately teleported himself to the Western Wall on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

When he landed, he knocked over a tourist the Nibiruan ET gray Gali-Gula who was standing there taking pictures with his advanced extraterrestrial camera around his neck.

Loki then placed the sealed test tube of bacteria into one of the cracks in the Western Wall where people normally place prayer notes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 13th
2017.

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Amorous Laetitia’s Motorcycle Ride

June 23, 2017 at 4:34 pm (Humour, International Intrigue, Mythology, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis had been taking newly elected British MP Renfield R. Renfield on a motorcycle tour of the French countryside.

Renfield was bound to be successful in politics.

He had only been in office a week and already he was ignoring his constituents’ concerns and going off on an extravagant foreign trip.

This seemed to be the only issue on which politicians of the political left, politicians of the political right and politicians of the political center appeared to share mutual agreement.

Since Isis was a vampiress, they rode by night and slept by day.

Renfield and Isis were currently sleeping in a rustic rural French inn with their motorcycle parked outside.

The inn taverne door slammed and a rather large black cat stumbled outside.

The black cat was Amorous Laetitia who was the personal black cat and familiar to Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Her mistress had recently been beheaded by genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee and then her head was eaten by the Norse wolf Fenrir.

As such, Laetitia to drown her sorrows had turned to her favourite liquid substance in a saucer- which was Bailey’s Irish Cream and not milk.

Laetitia had spent the evening drinking Bailey’s Irish Cream inside the taverna and when she exited very late in the morning, she spotted Isis’ motorcycle.

She hiccoughed and thought to herself that one thing about being a familiar to the goddess Hecate is you quickly learn how to hotwire a motorcycle.

She did so and sped down the open road.

Black Cat On A Chopper: A Poem

It’s really something to see- a black cat on a chopper
as tall tales go, you think I’m telling a whopper
but Amorous Laetitia rode down the road- not very straight
because the taverne waiter in refilling her Bailey’s was never late

Now it’s really not a very nice thing to drink and drive
as the bees thought when she crashed through their hive
now motorcycle gendarme Nicole Bardot was riding her police cycle
when she saw Laetitia speed past the statue of Saint Michael

She got on her cycle and rode
as Laetitia hit a toad
who was Asmodeus in disguise
the cat blinked her bleary red eyes

And soon the cat was in the village drunk tank
and Nicole Bardot found herself promoted in rank.

-A vampire novel chapter and poem
written by Christopher
Friday June 23rd 2017.
Nicole Bardot
French motorcycle gendarme Nicole Bardot: Busted the black cat Amorous Laetitia for drinking Bailey’s Irish Cream and then stealing and driving a chopper motorcyle.

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Asmodeus On Eiffel Tower In Paris

June 13, 2017 at 7:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

The demon Asmodeus stood on top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Smoking a cigarette.

“I wonder if I flicked this cigarette,” Asmodeus reflected, “if Hitler would once again ask the question he asked that German general, Is Paris Burning?”.

He flicked the cigarette down to see.

“No,” said Asmodeus, “it will obviously take more than one cigarette.”

Still the demon had become rather fond of Paris.

So he wouldn’t buy a warehouse of cigarettes to test his newly mused theory.

Like that German general who defied Hitler, he’d spare Paris.

“Of course,” Asmodeus laughed, “other cities won’t be so lucky.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 13th
2017.

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Lilith, Asmodeus, Kim Jong-un and Aphrodite

May 13, 2017 at 3:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith stood on the Mount of Olives overlooking the old city of Jerusalem.

Alongside her was the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf Hitler (his spirit was granted a temporary leave of absence from the Underworld by permission of Hades and Persephone and he had entered and possessed the body of a grey wolf).

Lilith had found the grey wolf wandering the streets of Kiev, Ukraine (where she was currently living) and had adopted the creature as her pet.

She brought him with her to the Holy Land.

“Someday,” Lilith bragged to the grey wolf, “we shall rid this land of all the Jews.”

“Sounds like a splendid idea to me,” the lupine former Fuhrer wagged his tail.

Meanwhile in France, the demon Asmodeus was visiting the village of Rennes-le-Chateau and more specifically the Church of Saint Mary Magdalene.

He had heard that there was a statue of himself holding up the holy water stoup inside the Church.

“A very good likeness,” Asmodeus grinned as he lit a cigarette and took a selfie of himself alongside the statue and posted it to Facebook.

Meanwhile back at the Presidential Palace in Caracas, Venezuela, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro was in hot water.

His residence was one of the few places in Venezuela where the hot water was still working.

But none of this concerned the megalomaniacal President as he sat in his bath tub text messaging with his ally North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

Kim Jong-un boasted to Maduro on his Skype screen, “I’ve got the Greek god Hephaestus designing and making my missiles for me.”

Meanwhile in Athens, Greece, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been informed by MI-6’s Diablos Nocturna Division that Hephaestus was now making missiles for Kim Jong-un.

He had arrived in Greece for one purpose.

To convince the Greek goddess Aphrodite to go to Pyongyang North Korea and convince her husband Hephaestus to stop making missiles for Kim Jong-un.

“Why should I do that for you, Dracul Van Helsing?” She asked the Canadian vampire hunter who was also an operative for MI-6.

“I’ll give you an entire evening of reasons why,” said Dracul.

After an evening of passionate love making, Aphrodite got up and greeted the dawn.

The Greek Goddess Aphrodite

“All right,” Aphrodite cooed at Dracul, “I’ll go.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 13th
2017.

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October 13th, Vampiric Knights-Templar and Russia

October 13, 2016 at 3:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Russian President Vladimir Putin gazed down at the document in front of him.

As he did so, the Russian leader was gripped with a profound metaphysical question.

Where he wondered, did God’s work end and the Devil’s work begin?

Well, he was about to find out.

He took a pen and signed the document.

. . .

Vatican Cardinal Walter Kasper was about to impart his apostolic blessing on a same sex marriage ceremony.

The happy couple were a pair of vampiric Knights-Templar who managed to escape French King Philip !V’s onslaught against the Knights-Templar and their grandmaster Jacques de Molay on Friday, October 13th 1307.

The pair fleeing the king’s guard were able to get themselves turned into vampires through a bite on the neck from vampiress Marguerite de Fleur de Bel.

11 other Knights-Templar were likewise bitten on the same day by the same vampiress and became vampires.

Now after centuries of living together, the romantically inclined Knights-Templar vampiric couple were about to get their union sanctioned by the Church.

Cardinal Kasper used a footnote in Pope Francis’ document Amoris Laetitia to perform the ceremony.

Bill Clinton acted as Best Man via teleconferencing and Hillary Clinton served as Maid of Honour.

Sir Elton John via teleconferencing performed his own piano melody for the occasion Smile On Jacques de Molay (to the tune of Goodbye Norma Jean and Goodbye England’s Rose).

. . .

The demon Asmodeus was smoking his 1307th cigarette of the day while sitting atop the Temple Mount and drinking bottles of Polonium-210 laced Scotch whisky just to show everyone he could do it.

“What a boastful wag,” the demon Azazel thought to himself as he planted Hell’s flag atop the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 13th
2016

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Lilith In Washington D.C.

March 2, 2015 at 8:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith In Washington D.C.

The Mossad agent called the Controller of The Golem was in Washington D.C.

To provide security for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as he gave his speech to the U.S. Congress tomorrow.

In the White House, U.S. President Barack Obama sat at the dinner table bitching to his wife Michelle about how the Israeli Prime Minister was speaking to the U.S. Congress without his permission.

“Barack, can’t you talk about something else for a change?” Michelle admonished him.

“Yes, Daddy,” his two daughters joined in, “you’re starting to sound like a broken record and if we didn’t watch Turner Classic Movies, we wouldn’t even know what that is since we live in an age of iTunes.”

As the Controller of the Golem stood looking at the Washington Monument
Obelisk, he reflected on a report that had been sent to him a year ago from Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

In the report, Whitstable claimed the ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith had formed an alliance with the ancient demon Asmodeus to destroy the State of Israel.

When the Controller had asked Whitstable why Lilith and Asmodeus would want to destroy Israel, the Interpol officer replied that Lilith was still pissed off at Israel for what she considered were all the lies and slanders told about her by the Jewish writers and commentators in the Babylonian Talmud.

As for the demon Asmodeus, he was still pissed off by the fact that a young Jewish boy from Nineveh named Tobias had snatched the fair and lovely maiden Sarah from his reptilian hands in the land of Media and furthermore how the said young Jewish lad had befriended the archangel Raphael and how on Tobias and Sarah’s wedding night the archangel Raphael had bound Asmodeus in the land of Upper Egypt where the demon lay imprisoned for several centuries.

Now Lilith and Asmodeus were plotting their revenge against the Jewish people.

The Controller of the Golem noticed a bat flying above the Washington Monument.

The bat flew towards the ground and then turned into a beautiful red headed woman wearing a white and gold evening dress although some passers-by insisted it was blue and black.

The woman hailed a cab and got in.

Lilith.

The Controller of the Golem got on his cell phone to the Israeli Prime Minister.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 2nd
2015.

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The Cobra On The Temple Mount

March 31, 2014 at 7:29 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Cobra On The Temple Mount

On this last day of March in the year 2014, Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol once again stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

He once again looked for signs of the panther Konalu the supernatural entity that was astral projected at a great distance by Fenrir the Norse apocalyptic wolf of the Battle of Ragnarok.

But no Konalu.

He also looked around for signs of the demon Asmodeus that he had recently spotted on the Temple Mount.

But no Asmodeus.

What he saw instead was a giant Cobra seemingly emerging from the center of the Earth below the Temple Mount.

The Cobra rose and rose.

And stood atop the Temple Mount rising to a tremendous height above the City of Jerusalem- the same height as the statue of Christ the Redeemer that overlooks the City of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.

People on and around the Temple Mount were oblivious to the presence of the Cobra as if it were an invisible force.

Muslim believers continued to enter and exit the al-Aqsa Mosque.

Jewish believers continued to pray at the Wailing Wall at the foot of the western side of the Temple Mount.

And confused American tourists at the bottom of the Temple Mount asked whereabouts was the Temple of Solomon as they wanted to get a pic of it to post to their Facebook page.

The Cobra bared its fangs and let out a huge hiss.

The hiss seemed to attract a huge flock of ferocious looking ravens who flew down and settled all over the Temple Mount.

Opposite the Temple Mount in the eastern sky flew a lone white dove.

In his mind, Whitstable thought he could hear a soft gentle female voice singing,

Fly little white dove fly
spread your wings sing out your cry
‘cross the universal sky…

The little white dove turned and flew away looking for a land where it would truly feel welcome.

It had a long way to fly.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 31st
2014.

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