Asmodeus Discusses Latin Tridentine Mass With Nimrod

July 19, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The chain smoking cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus was sitting in a Rome restaurant having spaghetti and meatballs with the little green frog Nimrod.

“Why is Pope Francis trying to get rid of the Latin Tridentine Mass?” Asked Nimrod.

“Because it’s preventing the advent of the Antichrist,” Asmodeus answered.

“It is?” Nimrod stuck his tongue out to capture a fly.

“Yes, His Satanic Majesty has been puzzled as to what is preventing the advent of the Antichrist,” Asmodeus explained, “He thought he hit the big time with Napoleon. He didn’t. He thought he hit the big time with Lenin. He didn’t. He thought he hit the big time with Hitler. He didn’t. He thought he hit the big time with Stalin. He didn’t. So he decided to name an infernal committee made up of Baal, Baphomet and Pachamama the Inca she-dragon who’s also the Inca earth mother goddess to investigate the matter shortly after Stalin kicked the bucket. The committee came up with the idea that it was the Latin Tridentine Mass that was preventing the Advent of the Antichrist. So His Satanic Majesty caught Pope John XXIII off guard one day and whispered in his ear to call the 2nd Vatican Council. Which Good Pope John did. John died within a year after the Council opened and Cardinal Montini was elected Pope taking the name Paul VI. A few of Paul’s advisors were under the complete control of His Satanic Majesty. After the Council finished in December 1965, Paul named the Freemason Annibale Bugnini to compose a new liturgy for the Church. Bugnini came out with the Novus Ordo Mass (designed to bring about the New World Order) which Paul VI promulgated in 1969 and the new liturgy was said in most parish churches throughout the world beginning in 1970. Except for French Archbishop Marcel Lefebvbre and the Society of Saint Pius X. The next decades saw the advent of the two Bushes and Bill Clinton who helped push the New World Order on America and the world. It continued under the Marxist Saul Alinsky inspired community organizer Barack Obama. Donald Trump was too much of a narcissist to follow the dictates of the New World Order elite so he had to be pushed out of the way. Pope Francis brought an idol of the demon Pachamama into the Vatican Gardens and later into Saint Peter’s Basilica itself. The result of that was to inspire the supernatural forces to bring about the release of Covid-19. All churches were shut down because of Covid. Within the Catholic Church the only groups who remained open without wearing masks and social distancing were those that practiced the Latin Tridentine Mass- the Society of Saint Pius X, the Fraternal Society of Saint Peter and the Institute of Christ The King Sovereign Priest. The Antichrist was supposed to arrive in 2020. But thanks to the Latin Tridentine Mass being said, he didn’t. So His Satanic Majesty (who’s Pope Francis’ god of surprises) directed his gay maidservant Francis to effectively abolish the Latin Tridentine Mass in his most recent motu proprio Traditionis custodes. Now His Satanic Majesty hopes the Antichrist will arrive within the next year.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 19th
2021.

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Releasing Judas- The Demon That Lady Gaga Clings To

April 27, 2021 at 10:23 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The demon Asmodeus and his friend the little green frog Nimrod were sitting in a taverna in Rome.

The taverna was supposed to be closed under lockdown but it did offer admittance to important beings.

Who were important beings?

Beings like the demon Asmodeus and Nimrod the builder of the tower of Babel now reduced to being a little green frog.

As Asmodeus and Nimrod sat at a table eating and drinking, the Greek gods Hades, Zeus and Poseidon were talking solemnly among themslves at another table.

“So,” Zeus scratched his beard, “Pope Francis wants you to release the ghost of Judas Iscariot from the Underworld?”.

Hades nodded as he sipped a soft drink in a cup shaped like the Disney character Pluto.

“In what part of the Underworld does Judas reside?” Poseidon asked as he ate his Fettichini ala Neptune.

“Roasting away on a rotating barbeque spit over an open flame in the fiery depths of Tartarus,” Hades stirred a hot toddy.

“I’m sure both Pope Francis and LA’s auxiliary Bishop Robert Barron will be disappointed to hear that,” Poseidon sipped a Caesar (a Canadian drink that was a combination of vodka and Mott’s Clamato Juice).

“They don’t know,” Hades remarked.

“So are you going to release Judas Iscariot from the Underworld?” Zeus inquired.

“I’m still trying to make up my mind,” Hades answered.

“Why don’t you throw an Alexander III King of Macedon (aka Alexander The Great) drachma coin up in the air?” Zeus gave him such a coin, “Heads, you release Judas. Tails, he continues to roast away. ”

Hades threw the coin up in the air.

And it landed on the table.

“Heads,” said Hades.

The three Greek deities finished their meal and left.

“Sounds like Judas will be back on the Earth’s surface again,” Nimrod commented.

“Lady Gaga will be able to cling to her demon in person instead of just singing about it,” Asmodeus noted.

. . .

Asmodeus and Nimrod went to their rooms at a YMCA youth hostel in Rome.

Most of the rooms there were occupied by Jesuit priests and members of the Vatican Curia who were dressed up as The Village People a 1970s American disco band.

“So I hear California Gov. Gavin Newsom is facing a recall election?” Nimrod sipped from a bottle of tequila.

“Did you know California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a deal with the demons Baal and Baphomet to get where he is today?” Asmodeus lit a cigarette.

“What? Getting recalled?” Nimrod was incredulous.

“No to become Governor of California,” Asmodeus answered.

“I suppose Baal and Baphomet will back Newsom in his re-election bid?” Nimrod said.

Asmodeus shrugged, “Baphomet being a transgendered and transpecies demon itself might back transgender Bruce Caitlyn Jenner’s bid to seek the state Republican nomination and then election to the Governorship.”

“So demons aren’t hesistant about throwing people (that they’ve made past agreements with) under the bus?” Nimrod swallowed the worm in the tequila bottle.

“Indeed not,” Asmodeus threw his cigarette butt out the window.

. . .

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal had heard about the plan to release Judas from the realm of Hades.

She and six Vampiric Knights-Templar had been living in the Vatican since the autumn of 2017.

But now she decided to leave.

With Judas coming, the Vatican wouldn’t be big enough for both of them.

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal: Seeking new accomodation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 27th
2021.

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Miranda Singh Raids The Gates of Hell Zoo

April 1, 2021 at 10:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his podcasts.

“Well,” Renfield began, “The Easter weekend is coming up and so naturally the world’s governments and health “experts” are suddenly discovering a surplus of cases of the various variants of Covid-19 that health “experts” suddenly discovered when the original Covid-19 virus suddenly seemed to be winding down. Ending the lockdown of most inhabitants of the planet and allowing the world a return to pre-March 2020 normality was definitely not in the cards as far as the Great Reset global oligarchy was concerned. Multitudes of people brainwashed by the mainstream media (who are not true journalists but are nothing more than the paid prostitutes and whores of the world’s global oligarchs) think that this all has to do with “health” or if they believe the current Vatican administration’s blathering “climate change”. This has nothing to do with “health” or “climate change”. It has to do with setting up a totalitarian one-world government under the control of the world’s global oligarchs.
As can be seen by the fact that 24 world leaders including Britan’s own brainless Boris Johnson just penned a declaration calling for a Global Pandemic Treaty. This treaty, if formally signed and implemented, will be the first step towards a one-world government. Now, John Lennon’s song Imagine has a nice melody and tune to it but don’t let that nice melody and tune suck you into the “Imagine no countries” scenario that the Great Reset global oligarchy has got planned for you, your family and your loved ones.
The line “Imagine there’s no heaven” will definitely have truth to it because there is nothing heavenly about the global oligarchs’ Great Reset plans.
“No Hell below us” will definitely be true as well because the Great Reset global oligarchs will have brought Hell up to the Earth’s surface for all to enjoy.
The first taste of Hell they’ve already unleashed on the world through Xi Jinping’s and the CCP’s Wuhan Institute of Virology.
Lo and behold! the CCP’s puppets on the executive of WHO (World Health Organization) couldn’t discover what was behind the origin of the Covid-19 virus in their recent joke of an investigation.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Tigray People’s Liberation Front Ethiopian Communist head of WHO should be shot by firing squad in my humble opinion (I don’t hold the same limp wristed pansy position on capital punishment as that held by Pope Francis) along with that obnoxious idiot Dr. Anthony Fauci who can’t even remember the numbered names of the numerous variants of Covid-19 virus that are supposedly out there when questioned by Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul.
Interestingly enough the proposed fine print of the Global Pandemic Treaty is proposed to be unveiled at this coming G-7 Summit to be held in June in Cornwall, England.
And Cornwall is the place where tradition holds that King Arthur was conceived – at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall.
King Arthur who spent his life battling demon possessed warriors and invading forces.
History seems to have come full circle.

. . .

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were walking through Saint Peter’s Basilica.

“Nice that we’re able to walk through Saint Peter’s Basilica on Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday,” Nimrod commented as he licked an ice cream cone with his long tongue, “How are we able to do that?”.

“Well, the fact that Hecate’s skull was buried here around the time the document Amoris Laetitia was released and Hecate’s black cat familiar Amorous Laetitia did a dance around the High Altar at the time in honour of the Greek goddess of witchcraft helped,” Asmodeus sipped his cappucino, “along with the fact that an idol of the Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama was brought into the Basilica at the Amazon Synod back in October 2019 and Pope Francis has recently forbidden priests to say private Masses in the chapels here (and many of those priests were saying private Masses according to the Tridentine Latin Mass liturgy which His Most Luciferian and Satanic Majesty hates) so all that allows us to walk through here with impunity.”

. . .

Set Enterprises secret agent Miranda Singh had discovered information about an experimental animal farm in northern England.

The name of the animal farm was the Gates of Hell Zoo.

The zoo was said to be financed by an American couple with the last name of Gates.

A vaccine was to be given to the animals there to turn them all into zombie nosferatu.

Miranda Singh arrived there with an army of gnomes and knocked out the guards with Cadbury Rocher Tesla Knockout Laser Rays.

The animals were then freed.

Miranda Singh after all the animals were freed from the Gates of Hell Covid-1984 Experimental Animal Farm in northern England

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 1st
2021

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Asmodeus Comments On Loki’s Shenanigans

November 5, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Commentary, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

As Chief Vote Thief and China CCP employee Joe Biden addressed members of the mainstream Marxist media and what little of his actual supporters had actually shown up for his statement where he said, “Remain calm, democracy is messy”, the demon Asmodeus had shown up in Michigan to see if he could get a good bargain on an old Model T Ford.

Asmodeus’ good friend and little buddy Nimrod the little green frog was currently having an operation to get his tonsils out at DARPA headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.

Since Asmodeus hated hanging around hospital waiting rooms, he decided to go to Michigan to see if he could pick up a Model T Ford.

While standing outside the Ford Motor plant in Detroit, Michigan holding up a sign that said, COULD ANYBODY SELL ME A MODEL T FORD?, he happened to run into a sometime acquaintance of his Loki the Norse trickster god.

“Loki, what are you doing here?” Asmodeus asked as he lit himself about 600 cigarettes.

“I’m making up marked ballots for the Biden-Harris ticket and delivering them,” Loki explained, “I’m having to rush back and forth between Pennsylvania and here in Michigan and over in Wisconsin to say nothing of having to hightail it between Georgia and North Carolina and Arizona to deliver ballots. Fortunately for me my son the serpent Jormungandr is able to shit those ballots out of his ass fast enough.”

“I thought it was the ghost of the late Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley whom the Democrats hired to make and stuff ballots for this Presidential election,” Asmodeus blew his nose, “I had heard that Pope Francis had asked Hades the god of the Underworld to release Daley from Tartarus so he could do it.”

“He had,” Loki nodded, “but Daley had violated his probation conditions that Hades and Persephone had set out. So he’s back in the clanger again. Or rather roasting like chestnuts roasting on an open fire as Nat King Cole could put it more eloquently than I can.”

“So what things have you been doing to help Biden win?” Asmodeus asked.

“Well, take a look at this from election night,” Loki handed the nicotine addict chain smoking demon a chart.

Asmodeus looked at it.

At one point this past election night when 90.9% of votes had been counted in Michigan, Donald Trump had 2,200,902 votes or 51.64% of the vote.

And Joe Biden had 1,992,356 votes or 46.75% of the vote.

Then Michigan announced they would stop counting votes at about the same time Wisconsin and Pennsylvania announced they would stop counting votes.

When vote counting started up again, a record 138,000 new votes were found.

The new tally after 93.8% of the votes had been counted was:

Donald J. Trump 2,200,902 votes or 50.02% of the votes cast.

Joe Biden 2,130,695 or 48.42% of the votes cast.

“As you can see,” Loki grinned as he bit into a lutefisk sandwich, “Biden is starting to catch up.”

“Excuse me for watering on your parade,” Asmodeus sneezed all over Loki’s Armani suit, “but I noticed Trump’s numerical number of votes remained the same. He had 2,200,902 votes when 90.9% of the votes were counted and later after 93.8% of the votes were counted, he still had 2,200,902. While the percentage of his votes changed (going in a downward direction) the actual numerical value of his votes remained the same. You mean to say of those over 138,000 new votes that came in, not one of those votes was for Trump? Do you know what the statistical probability of that happening is? Shouldn’t you have had Jormungandr shoot a few ballots out of his ass with Trump’s name on them? I mean if you’re going to cheat, you shouldn’t make it so blatantly obvious at one point in the procedure.”

“Oh shit, I hadn’t thought of that,” Loki turned pale, “Well at least among those under 40, hopefully America’s public education system has dumbed them down enough that they’re not able to do math. And as for the over 40s, the mainstream Marxist media probably aren’t going to mention that and the tech giants of Facebook and Twitter are in bed with the Chinese Communist Party so hopefully any mention of that will be censored on both those sites.”

At that moment, a group of Antifa and BLM members (who are Joe Biden’s equivalent of Adolf Hitler’s Brownshirts) marched by shouting, “Count every vote.”


Meanwhile some 87 years earlier: “Germany is finished. The trickster god Loki has just been to see President von Hindenburg. I have the feeling that Adolf Hitler is about to be named Chancellor.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 5th
2020.

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Renfield, Baal and Baphomet Professional Sports and A Communist Scientologist

August 3, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

“Mr. Renfield,” the BBC interviewer inquired of the British MP, “how would you describe yourself?”.

“As an altruistic empathetic narcissist,” Renfield answered.

The remark sent professional psychologists and psychiatrists and students of psychology all over the world scrambling for their textbooks and dictionaries to look up the meaning of this particular personality type.

Mental breakdowns were universal when they discovered the term wasn’t listed, classified or defined.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was sitting in his office looking at photos of competing NBA and MLB teams all linking arms and kneeling in front of BLACK LIVES MATTER logos while the U.S. National anthem was being played.

Whitstable had received a dossier from the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit documenting how the Black Lives Matter organization was a Communist organization founded by 3 Communist lesbians whose stated goals were a Marxist society and the destruction of both fatherhood and the nuclear family.

Whitstable then looked at a videotape of both ceremonies as recorded by an Interpol agent using a Dr. Cadbury Rocher Demon Detector Lens.

In both ceremonies as the overpaid athletes knelt to show their “wokeness” (Being “woke” in the 21st Century meant that one had turned into a living dead brain dead zombie according to Renfield R. Renfield’s definition of the word), the demons Baal and Baphomet walked by although unseen by the human eye but not by the eye of the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Demon Detector Lens.

Thus the overpaid athletes were bending the knee to the demons Baal and Baphomet in what looked to be an act of fealty and homage.

In this, they were boldly or maybe mincingly following in the footsteps of Rep. Nancy Pelosi who had done the same a couple of months earlier where the demons Baal and Baphomet were also picked up by the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Demon Detector Lens as Rep. Pelosi and her fellow Congressional Useful Idiots For The Devil Democrats bent the knee in an act of fealty and homage to the two demons.

Although the overpaid athletes were able to get back up again after bending the knee.

The same could not be said for the House of Representatives Speaker who had to be helped up by a Congressional aide as Ms. Pelosi did a very bad impersonation of the lady in the famous Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up TV commercials for Lifeline back in the 1980s.

. . .

Meanwhile as the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod sat at a milkshake bar in Los Angeles, they were discussing the fact that Rep. Karen Bass of California had emerged as the number one contender to become Joe Biden’s Vice-Presidential running mate.

“Do you suppose Joe Biden is really going to name a Communist Scientologist as his running mate?” Nimrod asked Asmodeus.

“Well if you’ve got a Communist Pope in the Vatican, why not a Communist Scientologist in the White House?” Asmodeus shrugged.

It just so happened that down in the fires of Tartarus, Karl Marx the Father of Communism was roasting away on a barbeque spit right next to the barbeque spit where science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard the founder of the Church of Scientology was busy roasting away.

Marx and Hubbard briefly wept tears of joy upon hearing the news before resuming screaming for the rest of eternity.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 3rd
2020.

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Saint Junipero Serra

June 24, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus and the little green fog Nimrod were sitting in a cafe diner in San Diego, California that had once been an old bus but was since converted into a diner.

Even though neither Asmodeus and Nimrod were wearing masks in public like California’s Neo-Stalinist governor Gavin Newsom had proclaimed in a Robespierreian Committee of Public Safety like Emergency Decree, the diner manager really didn’t feel like telling the demon or the little green frog to put on masks or leave.

The demon Baphomet (who likewise wasn’ wearing a mask) but looked and was dressed like a pre-eminent member of the LGBTQ+2S community (currently looking for more letters and numbers to appropriate), so wasn’t interfered with by the diner manager, passed by the duo’s table and showed them photos of statues of Saint Junipero Serra the Apostle of California being torn down in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

“This is what some of my Marxist-Leninist disciples have been up to,” the Baphomet grinned.

He/she/it then walked outside the diner to walk towards Saint Anne’s Catholic Church in the city.

A Neo-Bolshevik revolutionary had posted on his Instagram page calling on fellow Neo-Bolshevik revolutionaries to storm the Church, smash the statues and burn the Church to the ground.

The Baphomet was looking forward to the spectacle.

“Why did they tear down statues of Saint Junipero Serra?” Nimrod asked Asmodeus, “Who was he anyways?”.

“Well years ago, some Neo-Marxist academic made the claim that Saint Junipero Serra exploited and enslaved the native peoples of California and so he’s been on the Neo-Marxists’ shit list ever since,” Asmodeus’ cigarette ash spilled all over his 6 patty giant chili burger as he ate and smoked at the same time.

“And was the claim true?” Nimrod asked.

“Communists aren’t concerned with truth,” Asmodeus answered, “If they were, they wouldn’t be Communists.”

“But what were the actual facts on the ground irrespective of the Marxist lens of empirical reinterpretation and baloney enhanced reintegration?” Nimrod ate his baked salmon.

“Saint Junipero Serra was actually concerned about the attacks that certain groups of Spanish soldiers made on California’s indigenous peoples,” Asmodeus sipped his bottle of Corona beer, “And so even though he had an infirmed leg, he walked all the way to Mexico City on it in order to obtain special faculties of governance from the Viceroy of Spain stationed in Mexico City in order to discipline the military who were abusing the indigenous peoples. There is a physical reminder of the Viceroy’s orders (issued at Junipero Serra’s request) today. Everywhere there is a presidio (soldiers’ barracks) associated with a mission of the 21 missions that Junipero Serra founded in California, the presidio is always located miles away from the mission itself.”

“So, despite that, Junipero Serra’s statues are being torn down?” Nimrod used his long tongue to lick up a fly that had stationed itself on one of Asmodeus’ large beef patties.

“Well after decades of dumbed down public education in America, today’s youth in this country aren’t exactly the brightest on the planet,” Asmodeus dipped one of his fries in gravy.

On the television set above the diner’s kitchen window and next to the cashier’s booth, Melinda Gates was announcing that any covid-19 vaccine developed in America should be first tested on blacks and indigenous people before being given to whites.

While the lastest eugenics based announcement from the Gates evil duo would be of concern to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (Son of assassinated 1968 U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Bobby Kennedy), most limousine owning and mansion owning white liberal Democrats (who were really Marxist Neo-Mensheviks (politically speaking) cheering on the Neo-Bolshevik mobs destroying small businesses, statues and churches outside their walled houses and gated communities) really wouldn’t raise an eyebrow of reprimand to the Gates duo.

After all the Gates duo supported the same globalist New World Order they wanted for the world.

In which a world of serfs (told daily that they were free within a Marxist paradise) would serve them.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 24th
2020.

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An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

June 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

Monsieur Philippe Geoffrei Gaston a TV reporter for France 24 Live (which is France’s 24/7 international news TV channel) was interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to get a British perspective on Britain leaving the EU.

Renfield was eating malt vinegar covered Fish and Chips wrapped in the Times of London newspaper, drinking brown ale and eating gulab jamun for dessert which as the British MP told the French journalist would definitely be considered the most typical British cuisine in the year 2020.

“Boris Johnson says he wants a final deal between Britain and the EU before December 31st of this year or otherwise it’s a no deal Brexit,” Gaston noted, “Do you think a final deal is possible before that date?”.

“No, it will probably turn out to be a no deal Brexit,” Renfield wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“And why is that?” Gaston asked.

“Because the Europeans are so unreasonable about everything,” Renfield lit a cigar.

“Well,” Gaston frowned, “as a Brit waving good-bye to Europe, what do you think would be the best thing to happen to Europe?”.

“The best thing to happen to Europe is if a Bourbon once again sat on a restored French throne, a Hapsburg sat on a restored Austro-Hungarian throne and a Romanov sat on a restored Russian Czarist throne,” Renfield answered, as with his heavy cigar smoke, he set fire to a small bookshelf behind him on which sat three books entitled respectively The Legacy of The French Revolution, The Legacy of Woodrow Wilson and The Legacy of Lenin.

Startled by this answer, Monsieur Gaston with his cigarette accidentally set fire to the small French tricoloured flag that sat on his desk.

The interview came to an abrupt end and Renfield was then interviewed by a BBC reporter.

Towards the end of that interview, Renfield was asked by the BBC reporter Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys on whether or not Bill Gates could be the Antichrist.

“No, Bill Gates is far too bland, boring and nerdy to be the Antichrist,” Renfield answered, “his vaccine implant tracking system could pave the way for the Antichrist’s Mark of The Beast system so in that way Gates could be a forerunner. But Gates just doesn’t have that necessary cool to be the Antichrist. Lucifer is not only intelligent but also an artist who likes to dazzle with his beauty. So Gates doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Although he most likely does cut the cheese.”

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys was quite taken aback by this answer.

Humphreys’ assistant, a man dressed in a British army captain’s uniform and wearing a peacock mask over his face, enters the room where the BBC reporter is livestreaming, “Are you free, Mr. Humphreys? We’d like you to look at some video footage of Donald Trump getting a cream pie in the face thrown by an invisible entity while Trump was surrounded by Evil Empire Stormtrooper looking Military Police as black military helicopters were hovering overhead in the background. One of our video technicians, who in my opinion has been drinking far too many Harvey Wallbangers on the job, claims that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did it. We’d like your opinion.”

“Not now,” Humphreys foamed, “I’m busy interviewing Renfield. Ask Mr. Lucas.”

“Mr. Lucas, are you free?” The peacock masked wearing army captain ran down the hall.

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys turned back to Renfield.

“So you think the Antichrist will be an artist?” Humphreys inquired.

“Yes, it will be a scientific technocratic world state that the Antichrist will be running,” Renfield answered, “But the Antichrist won’t come across as being a scientific technocrat himself as those of a strictly scientific technocratic personality are generally quite bland and boring. Most people would probably prefer being beheaded rather than pledging fealty to or offering worship to such a personality. However someone who is quite artistic and flamboyant the people would have no problem following or even worshipping. The Mexican artist Diego Rivera asked Leon Trotsky in 1938 who he thought would genuinely win the most popularity in a worldwide election if one were held, Hitler or Stalin? And Trotsky answered Hitler because Stalin too much acted the stiff technocratic scientific socialist in his personality and demeanour (unlike the smiling demeanour that Stalin was portrayed as having in Soviet art propaganda) whereas Hitler had the dramatic showmanship of an artist and could easily capture people’s emotions and feelings.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider Tunnel in Switzerland, the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were having a picnic.

Nimrod was adding black flies to a sandwich while Asmodeus was lighting a cigarette.

A hundreds of meters tall creature with an octopus head, the wings of a dragon and the body of a human with webbed looking human arms and legs emerged from the tunnel.

“Isn’t that Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the Sleeper of R’lyeh coming out of the tunnel?” Nimrod asked.

“I believe it is,” Asmodeus put on his monocle to look.

Cthulhu was followed by an elk.

“Isn’t that an elk?” Nimrod put peanut butter and jam on his black flies.

Asmodeus struggled between lighting his cigarette and putting his monocle on his right eye again, “I believe it is.”

“What’s Cthulhu doing emerging from the CERN tunnel with an elk?” Nimrod wanted to know.

“Well, I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you,” Asmodeus was trying to decide between buffalo gryphon’s wings or teriyaki gryphon’s wings from his KFC Hybrids Bucket.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 2nd
2020.

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Asmodeus, Bill de Blasio, Gal Gadot, Pachamama, Nimrod and The Miraculous Crucifix

April 2, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Asmodeus, Bill de Blasio, Gal Gadot, Pachamama, Nimrod and The Miraculous Crucifix

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (like all Marxist totalitarian despots in waiting outside Communist China and North Korea) was trying his hardest to use the Coronavirus pandemic to shut down religious centres of worship like churches and synagogues permanently.

He had announced last Friday that not only would those places of worship in New York City that remained open and ignored social distancing be fined but they may be closed permanently.

Mainland Chinese leader Xi Jinping and the ghosts of Josef Stalin and Mao Tse-tung (roasting away on their respective spits down in Tartarus) heartedly approved of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s announcement.

As Mayor Bill left his home today, he was surprised to get a cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

Meanwhile Gal Gadot who was wondering whether as a celebrity she was subject to the same home isolation rules as those of the common masses was putting her make-up on.

She had recently led a “star” studded cast of celebrity airheads and freaks in singing John Lennon’s song Imagine.

One little girl (whose grandmother had just died from the Coronavirus that morning) started bawling when she saw a TV news clip of Gal Gadot singing “Imagine there’s no Heaven…”

A short time later as Gal Gadot was once again filming and recording herself on social media, a cream pie was thrown in her face by an invisible entity.

“She doesn’t look so wonderful now,” Amadeus Emanon skyped to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

. . .

The U.S. Navy destroyer the U.S.S. Spiro Agnew was sailing in the Caribbean Sea.

Ostensibly as part of a fleet of warships to stop the smuggling of illegal drugs.

Although there were some aboard the ship who wondered if it wasn’t to prepare for a U.S. military invasion of Venezuela.

That Trump might cave in to the American Deep State’s desire to invade Venezuela as a way of diverting the American people’s attention from the pandemic they were in.

Last week U.S. Attorney-General William Barr announced that he was charging Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and other senior officials in the country with narco-terrorism, drug trafficking, money laundering and corruption.

Even with social distancing, none of those assembled for the Barr announcement in the U.S. Justice Department building were at close enough range to one of the pillars in the foyer to notice the dusty cob web covered skeleton of one John Q. Doe who had, 30 years ago, said, “I’m going to hold my breath until the U.S. Justice Department charges the American CIA with narco-terrorism, drug trafficking, money laundering and corruption.”

Doe might still be alive today if he had not taken his own statement so literally.

So there was always the possibility that an invasion of Venezuela would fall in line with the announced policy of stopping the smuggling of illegal drugs across the Caribbean Sea.

Meanwhile aboard the U.S.S. Spiro Agnew, a U.S. Navy sailor had just spotted the ghostly outline of Christopher Columbus’ flagship the Santa Maria as well as the haunted ghost ship the Flying Dutchman.

. . .

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were sitting in the middle of an empty Saint Peter’s Square in Rome drinking bottles of cognac.

They noticed a coffin going by.

“I wonder if that’s a Coronavirus victim,” Nimrod said as he used his long tongue to carefully lick up every drop of the precious liquid from the bottle that he had for the most part emptied.

“According to my sources,” Asmodeus lit himself 3 dozen cigarettes and put them in his mouth, “that coffin contains the 14th Century Sienese School Miraculous Crucifix that survived the San Marcello al Corso Church fire of May 22nd 1519 and halted the Great Plague of Rome of 1522 but was unable to withstand Pope Francis’ long-winded Urbi et Orbi speech of this past March 27th 2020 as Francis blathered on comfortably standing under a canopy while the Miraculous Crucifix got drenched in the pouring rain since it was outdoors by itself with no canopy protecting it. The wood on the sculpture apparently tumefied and exploded as the rainwater penetrated it.”

“What part of Italy is the most devastated by the Coronavirus?” Nimrod asked as he opened up a bottle of Mexican beer that was more popular outside Mexico than it was inside.

“It’s the town of Bergamo Italy (population 122,000) that’s the epicenter of the epidemic,” Asmodeus answered as he used a fire extinguisher to put out his burning mouth, “where over 600 each day are dying from the virus.”

“Why does the name Bergamo ring a bell?” Nimrod inquired as church bells rang in the distance.

“It was the Bishop and the Diocese of Bergamo that were the first in Italy to publish the prayer to the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama on their website,” Asmodeus tried to bring back to life his water drenched cigarettes but was having about as much success as the Pope Francis invited Amazon female shaman who was using her rattles to try to raise the Miraculous Crucifix from its water drenched coffin.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 2nd
2020
The 15th Anniversary 
of the death 
of Pope Saint John Paul II

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Asmodeus, Nimrod and The Amazing Syrian Teen Saint Who Fights Epidemics

March 27, 2020 at 11:24 pm (Biographical, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Asmodeus, Nimrod and The Amazing Syrian Teen Saint Who Fights Epidemics

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were sitting atop one of the buildings that overlooked Saint Peter’s Square and were watching the proceedings down below.

They watched a lone Pope Francis stroll across the square and then sit in a chair under a canopy with a microphone in front of him.

Behind him was a Miraculous Crucifix of Christ that was only brought into the square at Christmas or Easter of a Holy Year (the last time it was in the Square was during the pontificate of Saint John Paul II during the Holy Year of 2000) or during times of plague and epidemic.

Pope Francis, after a priest had read from the Gospel of Mark where the account of Christ calming a storm at sea is told, then addressed the empty square to impart an Urbi et Orbi blessing upon the City (Rome) and the World.

“Why is the Pope speaking with his back turned on Christ?” Nimrod asked as he licked his Venus Fly Trap ice cream cone.

“It probably serves as a metaphor for the past 7 years of his 7 year papacy,” Asmodeus answered as he smoked a cigarette and sipped his bottle of Louisiana bourbon.

“What’s he saying?” Nimrod asked as he tried to get wax out of his ears.

An after effect of trying to read the Latin edition of The Necronomicon by candlelight last night.

“Oh, the gist of it is he’s telling people, It’s all your fault that this pandemic happened. If you had only followed the globalist agenda that I as your feigning humility Neo-Marxist tyrant-in-chief had told you to do, none of this would have happened. And now you have to stay in your homes and not receive the Body and Blood of Christ at the Mass as your punishment,” Asmodeus lit himself another dozen cigarettes and stuck them in his mouth.

“Wow, he actually said that?” Nimrod was horrified to discover that the take-out delivery soup he had ordered did not have a fly in it.

“Not in those blunt words of course,” Asmodeus rubbed some Friar’s Balsam on his lip burns, “He used nice sounding euphemisms like all adherents of the Modernist heresy are prone to do as Pope Saint Pius X noted in his 1907 encyclical Pascendi.”

“What is the heresy of Modernism?” Nimrod asked as he took a selfie of himself with his smart phone.

“It’s the synthesis of all heresies,” Asmodeus answered as he started playing an antique theremin musical instrument.

Meanwhile at the Catholic Cathedral in the German city of Aachen built by the Emperor Charlemagne (who was also buried there upon his death in 814 AD), the Cathedral’s resident archivist and historian suddenly recalled recently that the Cathedral held the relics of the little known patron saint of resisting epidemics in its basement chamber of relics.

The relics were of a 16-year-old girl killed by the Romans in Syria for professing the Christian faith.

The girl suffered a particularly excruciating death.

She was tied to two bent palm trees and then torn apart as the trunks were released.

The Syrian teen saint’s relics were brought to Aachen by King Otto III in 997 AD.

They were kept in a tomb underneath a slab in the cathedral which could be seen up until 1912.

They were then moved to the reliquary in the basement.

The removal of the Syrian teen saint’s shrine from a prominent place in the cathedral to a basement reliquary occurred in the year which saw the Titanic sink.

The First World War broke out a couple of years later.

But nobody would have really connected the moving of the saint’s relics with those events.

That is until it suddenly hit the Aachen Cathedral’s resident archivist/historian.

The archivist/historian knew that the patron saint of resisting epidemics had her relics among the relics in this cathedral.

What was her name again? The archivist/historian tried to recall.

And then her name- the name of the teen Syrian girl who had died so cruelly at the hands of the Romans for professing her Christian faith in 177 AD Syria- the teen saint who became the patron saint of resisting epidemics – her name?

Saint Corona.

And her Feast Day is May 14th- the date that Pope Francis was to announce this year that Catholic schools and centres of learning were to henceforth promote loyalty to the New World Order.

The meeting had to be postponed to October due to the outbreak of the Coronavirus.

Saint Corona: In happier times before she encountered soldiers of the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius’ army.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Friday March 27th
2020.

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Asmodeus In Rome On Saint Raphael’s Day

October 24, 2019 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Asmodeus In Rome On Saint Raphael’s Day 

The demon Asmodeus was sitting in a Rome taverna and enjoying a glass of absinthe with the little green frog Nimrod (who had been a mighty hunter back in the day of the Old Testament Book of Genesis).

The TV in the taverna was on and the news was being read,

“In Britain, Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering has been placed in charge of the investigation to find the human trafficking gang responsible for the deaths of 39 migrants who had been found frozen to death in a refrigerator truck that was parked in an industrial area in Essex…”

“I wonder what will happen to the human traffickers when Renfield gets his hands on them?” Nimrod asked.

“I imagine from what I’ve heard of Renfield’s reputation,” Asmodeus lit his 10,000th cigarette of the day, “they will die a slow painful death by bodily dismemberment.”

“I suppose that’s why Renfield is considered the inspiration for the character of Raymond Red Reddington on The Blacklist TV show,” Nimrod licked up absinthe from his glass with his long tongue.

“I imagine,” Asmodeus agreed as he sipped his absinthe.

“In other news,” the announcer on the TV went on, “Pope Francis dove into the Tiber River today when he spotted what he thought were Pachamama idols floating by. The idols had been thrown off the bridge into the Tiber River on Monday…”

“I wonder if Pope Francis knows how to swim,” Nimrod finished his absinthe.

“Don’t know,” Asmodeus shrugged as he motioned for the waiter to bring another couple of glasses of absinthe.

A girl walked by the window wearing a Saint Raphael medal around her neck.

“Great balls of fire,” Asmodeus turned pale and made a reverse Sign of the Cross.

“What is it?” Nimrod inquired.

“That woman was wearing a Saint Raphael medal,” Asmodeus answered.

“Si, signor,” the waiter said as he put down the glasses of absinthe, “today is Saint Raphael’s Day on the old Roman Rite Latin calendar.”

“What have you got against Saint Raphael?” Nimrod asked Asmodeus when the waiter departed.

“Well over 2 millennia and a half ago, when I had the hots for a young Hebrew maiden named Sarah so much so that I murdered 7 of her husbands on the night their marriages to her were supposed to be consummated,” Asmodeus explained, “The Archangel Raphael befriended a young Hebrew man named Tobias and helped him get engaged to Sarah. The awful smell of a fish’s liver and heart being burnt and its fumes drove me away when I tried to attack Tobias on their wedding night. The smell was so bad, I fled from Media (where Sarah lived) all the way to Upper Egypt where Raphael followed me, bound me and buried me. I lay bound and buried for several centuries until an intoxicated Irish leprechaun named Yaldabaoth accidentally released me while he was visiting his mother Sophia in Egypt.”

“I can see why you’re not very happy with Raphael,” Nimrod nodded.

Meanwhile in another part of Rome, the Greek goddess Artemis rang the doorbell of a Vatican Cardinal’s apartment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 24th
2019.

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