Renfield vs. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard: The Advent of Hagane-kyu

May 8, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Vs. The Iranian Revolutionary Guard- The Advent of Hagane-kyu

It was a day like no other.

May 8th 2018.

73 years since V-E Day – the end of the Second World War in Europe.

Donald Trump announced that the U.S. was pulling out of the nuclear deal with Iran.

Israel had hit a Syrian Army base outside Damascus killing at least 9 Iranian Revolutionary Guards.

It had also put its Armed Forces on alert in the Golan Heights expecting an Iranian military attack.

Donald Trump asked DARPA’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep to send Pan Goatee to Rome to slaughter a group of Iranian Revolutionary Guards who were planning to liberate the Vatican from the control of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal and The Vampiric Knights-Templar (who unknown to the world had been holding it hostage since October 13th of last year).

Ahriman the god of evil of the old Persian Zoroastrian religion had sent jinn under his control to astrally block Pan Goatee from doing that.

With Goatee blocked, DARPA was up shit creek.

In Havana, Cuba, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was meeting and drinking champagne with the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike saying that anti-Semite promoters of Jewish conspiracy theories on the Net would quite rightly blame Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu for Trump pulling out of the Iran nuclear deal.

The emerging Middle East War would forever blacken Israel’s reputation in the rest of the world, Lilith told Pike.

Trump ordered DARPA to look elsewhere when Pan Goatee was tied up in chains and ropes by a BDSM inclined Persian female jinn.

“Find someone else who will kill those Revolutionary Guards in Rome,” Trump ordered Dr. Faustus Imhotep.

When it was discovered that British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had just been given the name Hagane-kyu (which meant “Balls of Steel” in Japanese) by a group of Japanese Ninja assassins) was in Rome, he was immediately hired by CIA operatives in Rome to kill the Revolutionary Guards.

The Guards were in hiding at the Al Capone Trident Imports and Gifts For Bugs Moran Warehouse in Rome.

Renfield went to the garage dressed as a 1920s Chicago Police Department policeman.

He carried with him the machine gun that had been given him as a gift by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the National Rifle Association.

The same machine gun of which an astral replica was made by Dr. Cadbury Rocher and carried by a Renfield holographic image who crashed the Vladimir Putin Presidential Inauguration in Moscow yesterday.

Renfield entered the warehouse and blew the Iranian Revolutionary guardsmen away to kingdom come while singing the Elvis Presley song Heartbreak Hotel as he did so.

Renfield then dropped Valentine’s Day teddy bears all over the bodies of the guardsmen.

He left singing another Elvis song, “Treat me nice, treat me good, treat me like you really should because I’m not made of wood and I don’t have a wooden heart..”

At that point, the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte entered the warehouse and revelled in all the blood on the walls and on the floor:

https://pin.it/4upi5wbf32yrjo

“It’s a real blood bath 🦇 🛀,” she laughed and used her serpentine tongue to lick up all the blood.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 8th
2018.

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Syrian Presidential Election Announced

April 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Syrian Presidential Election Announced

British Prime Minister David Cameron sat wondering what the Hell on earth had happened to the parliamentary envoy he had sent to Russia last week- Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (although Cameron didn’t know that the man was a werewolf) who had been sent over to Moscow for secret diplomatic talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin on the Ukraine crisis.

The man Magog had just vanished on the streets of Moscow a week ago and hadn’t been seen since.

. . .

It was announced at a meeting of the Syrian Parliament in Damascus that a Presidential election in Syria would be held on June 3rd of this year.

As the announcement was made, the Syro-Phoenician Vampiress Astarte sat in Parliament and listened.

She immediately checked the messages on her smart phone and noticed that the U.S. was already condemning the election as a “parody of democracy”.

She smiled.

The Russian government had already been saying the same thing for weeks about the planned Ukrainian Presidential election set for May 25th of this year.

She licked her lips and her vampiric fangs delicately and exquisitely.

All was going according to plan.

. . .

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont was in her exclusive London apartment.

The Vampiress who was a songstress and an actress now made her career performing live on stage in theatrical productions and musicals in the theatre district of West London.

She held in her hand a message delivered by courier that was from a Park Avenue billionaire in New York City.

The billionaire had offered her $500,000 U. S. if she would sing for him at a private recital for him and a group of friends in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment next week.

Despite the high fee he was offering, she felt an extreme queasiness and unease at accepting.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 21st
2014.

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Werewolf On The Road To Damascus Part 2

November 20, 2011 at 9:08 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley was meeting with Syrian President Bashar Assad in the Presidential Palace in Damascus.

“Mr. President,” Rhys Petley pulled a letter from out of his pocket, “I’m here to give you a highly confidential message from the British government…”

“First, I must tell you there are no human rights violations or mass killings going on in Syria,” Bashar Assad wagged his finger at Magog Rhys Petley.

Outside could be heard the sounds of machine gun fire and the voices of men, women and children screaming in unison, “I’ve been shot… I’ve just been shot…”

Suddenly the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte appeared from behind the curtains wearing only a see-through black silk lingerie nightie and did a quiet dance for Magog Rhys Petley’s viewing pleasure.

Magog Rhys Petley felt a huge erection coming on.

Not to mention the fact that whenever he was sexually aroused, he turned into a werewolf.

Within seconds, Rhys Petley had grown fur and was crawling around on all fours and snarling and growling.

“A werewolf,” President Assad screamed, “the British government has sent a werewolf to kill me.”

Quickly Assad’s Presidential bodyguard formed a circle around him to protect him from said werewolf.

*      *    *

BBC News Announcer: This just in.  The Arab news service al-Jazeera is reporting that the Syrian government is making the bizarre claim that British Intelligence sent a werewolf to kill Syrian President Bashar Assad.

To be continued.

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