Idol Talk At The Set Mansion

October 18, 2011 at 10:22 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

As Renfield entered the colossal mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, he noticed a rather large and hideous looking creature leaving Set’s study.

The creature had a rather angry looking expression on his face.

“Say wasn’t that the demon Moloch who just left the Boss’ study?” Renfield asked Amadeus.

“It was,” Amadeus nodded as he continued to bite into a delicious Malaysian recipe for sweet and sour fish.

“What’s he looking so angry about?” Renfield inquired.

“Apparently His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI didn’t invite him to the Inter-Religious Dialogue and Pilgrimage For Peace which is being held in Assisi on October 27th of this year,” Amadeus answered, “so Moloch is somewhat upset about that. Eastern Orthodox priests have been invited, Protestant ministers have been invited, Jewish rabbis have been invited, Muslim imams have been invited, Buddhist lamas have been invited and Hindu gurus have been invited. In fact, 200 representatives of various different religious faiths from over 50 countries have been invited. But Moloch wasn’t invited.”

“Why not?” Renfield bit into a tuna fish sandwich which Athelstan the valet had brought him.

“I don’t think demons were invited,” Amadeus sampled some of the Malaysian Princess Diyana Aleeya’s delicious spaghetti.

“And why the Hell not?” Renfield felt sympathy for Moloch.

“I think it’s precisely because of Hell that demons haven’t been invited,” Amadeus answered.

“I fail to follow such logic,” Renfield drew a satanic inverted pentagram into his chocolate cake.

Suddenly Renfield’s cell phone emitted a beeping sound.

“Who’s that?” Amadeus took a sip of orange juice.

“It’s a text message from the demon Moloch,” Renfield replied, “he wants to know if he can borrow my creature the Were-Zomb-ire for a few days and get it to attack the Vatican in retaliation for the Pope not inviting him to attend the Assisi Inter-Religious Dialogue and Pilgrimage For Peace.”

“And what answer are you giving him, sir?” Athelstan the valet inquired.

“If he can successfully trap the Were-Zomb-ire himself,” Renfield replied, “he’s welcome to him. So far all the traps I’ve set up around London to capture the Were-Zomb-ire have failed.”

“And what sort of traps have you been using, sir?” Athelstan inquired.

“Giant mouse traps with giant pieces of cheese attached to them,” Renfield answered.

“And who suggested that the Were-Zomb-ire likes cheese?” Athelstan looked surprised.

Renfield pointed towards Amadeus.

Athelstan looked quizzically at Amadeus.

“Well,” Amadeus shrugged as he bit into a huge block of cheese, “since I like cheese, I thought maybe the Were-Zomb-ire might like cheese as well.”

To be continued.

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