Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

Permalink 12 Comments

Renfield Discusses The Turkish Invasion of Syria

October 10, 2019 at 10:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Discusses The Turkish Invasion of Syria

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing the Turkish invasion of Syria with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“Well several civilians have been killed and tens of thousands of people have been forced to flee their homes in northern Syria as a result of the megalomaniac Erdogan’s invasion,” Renfield remarked as he carved a turkey to make a turkey sandwich.

“And is the megalomaniac Trump going to do anything about it?” Amadeus asked as he carved a ham to make a ham sandwich.

“No, he’s too worried about impeachment,” Renfield added a sliced peach to his turkey sandwich, “a couple of Eastern European friends of his lawyer Rudy Giuliani were arrested today and charged with campaign finance fraud in making illegal contributions to Trump’s 2016 campaign.”

Some shit hit the fan in the kitchen at that moment.

“I should have known better than to leave the window open with all those geese blowing around in this windstorm,” Renfield closed the window.

“Where is most of the fighting in northern Syria taking place at the moment?” Amadeus asked.

“Around the border towns of Ras al-Ain and Tal Abyad,” Renfield answered.

“And what is the UN doing about it?” Amadeus inquired.

“What the UN always does in these situations,” Renfield acknowledged, “Nothing.”

Athelstan the butler entered the kitchen to make tea, “I understand the UN Security Council held an emergency meeting today to discuss the situation at the request of Britain, France, Germany, Belgium and Poland.”

“Which will just produce nothing but a lot of handwringing,” Renfield noted.

A bunch of severed hands from living dead zombies began ringing the doorbell.

Athelstan went to the door with a can of RAID House and Garden Zombie Killer and started spraying the hands where they dropped like flies.

“I see Erdogan says that he’ll send the 3.6 million refugees that Turkey hosts to Europe if Europe dares to call the Turkish offensive an occupation,” Amadeus added mustard to his ham sandwich.

“Yes, Erdogan seems to have a thing about certain words,” Renfield put cranberries on his turkey, “just like he doesn’t like it when you call what Turkey did to the Armenians in 1915 a genocide.”

“How’s Prince Vlad Dracula doing on the ground in northern Syria?” Amadeus inquired.

“He’s fighting alongside the Kurds,” Renfield bit into his turkey sandwich, “and his daughter the Countess Draculina has joined him along with my personal Army brigade of Gurkhas.”

Countess Draculina: Battling the invading Turkish forces of Recep Tayyip Erdogan

. . .

Pope Francis was at his desk in his Vatican apartment when the phone rang.

It was Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan calling.

“Hello, Frankie old boy,” the Turkish President tried to sound informal, “I hear you deny the incarnate deity of Jesus Christ. Being a Muslim, I too deny the incarnate deity of Jesus Christ. So since we have that in common, I was wondering if you’d like to take part in my coronation when I’m crowned Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire.”

“What was the date you planned for that?” Francis asked.

Erdogan answered.

“Let me check my calendar,” Francis opened his little red notebook with a photo of Chairman Mao on the cover, “Yes, that should be fine.”

A lemon meringue pie was thrown in Francis’ face at that moment just as Swiss Guards outside the apartment shouted that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit had just entered the papal apartment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 10th
2019.

Permalink 6 Comments

The Ghost of Orson Welles and The Russian Spy Beluga Whale Defector To Norway

May 3, 2019 at 10:17 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Radio, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

While British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in Thailand to attend the coronation ceremony of King Maha Vajiralongkorn, his spirit advisors the ghosts of Orson Welles and Sir Winston Churchill were hanging around the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set smoking huge amounts of spectral cigars with Churchill drinking huge amounts of spectral brandy and Welles drinking huge amounts of spectral wine.

After a couple of days of this, an exasperated billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan, “What’s the number for Ghostbusters?”.

“I regret to say, sir, that Ghostbusters was pure fiction and the Ghostbusters team portrayed by Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson do not exist in reality,” Athelstan sighed.

“Damn,” Set spilled his crocodile casserole all over himself at this upsetting piece of news.

The phone rang.

Athelstan picked it up.

“It’s for you, Orson,” the valet called out to Welles’ ghost who was busy talking to the clock on the living room mantelpiece and telling it, “We will sell no wine before its time.”

“Who is it?” Welles asked.

“It’s Erna Solberg the Prime Minister of Norway,” Athelstan replied.

“What does the Prime Minister of Norway want with me?” Welles asked.

“Well, why don’t you pick up the fucking phone and find out?” Set said angrily as he was using vast amounts of Sherrielock Holmes’ Bavarian Magic Mushroom Stain Remover trying desperately to remove the crocodile casserole stains off his suit and tie.

Welles’ ghost took the phone.

After a long conversation, Welles’ ghost put the phone down.

“What is up, Senor Welles?” Athelstan asked.

“Apparently, that beluga whale that showed up in Norway that some people are calling a Russian spy wants to defect to the Norwegians,” Welles replied.

“And what does that have to do with you?” Set asked as he found out where Renfield kept his secret stash of bourbon (it was under the stairwell under a post office box marked HARRY POTTER Age 21) and helped himself to two bottles of bourbon.

“Apparently, the beluga whale doesn’t speak Norwegian,” Welles replied, “he only speaks Russian (which he learned at the Russian Navy’s Northern Fleet Headquarters in Murmansk where he was being taught to be a spy) and English. Apparently he learned English because his spy handler listened to my old radio programs that are available on the Internet. Shows like The Shadow, The Adventures of Harry Lime, and The Black Museum. He also liked a radio commercial ad I once did for Norwegian cod. Apparently it was that ad which inspired him to defect to Norway. While swimming towards Norwegian waters, he ran into the mermaid Miranda who had met Renfield once on the Israeli coast off Tel Aviv. Miranda told the beluga whale that while it is true that I’m dead, I was granted dispensational leave from Purgatory by Hades the god of the Underworld and I’m currently serving as a spirit advisor to Mr. Renfield along with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill. The beluga wants to make his formal defection to the Norwegian government with me present.”

“Does that mean you’ll go to Norway and be out of my house for a while?” Set asked as he started working on his 99th bottle of bourbon.

“Yes,” Welles nodded, “If I can borrow one of your Persian flying carpets to fly to Norway.”

“Yes, go down to the Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium and get one,” Set directed, “In the name of God, go.”

Welles’ ghost walked out the door and went out into the London night with his spectral fur coat adorning his huge spectral shoulders.

Set looked over into the armchair by the fireplace where Churchill’s ghost sat fast asleep and singing in his sleep, “Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine, you are lost and gone forever, oh my darling Clementine.”

“Now, if I can only find a way to get rid of that one,” the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire pointed a bony finger at Churchill before falling to the floor in a drunken stupor.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 3rd 2019.

Permalink Leave a Comment

1st Video of The Resurrected Dragon Princess Lenora of Lemuria

November 8, 2018 at 11:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, music videos, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, Video, videos) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was lying in his upright Egyptian sarcophagus in his colossal bedroom in his colossal London mansion drinking chai tea on a tray in front of him that was poured from a tea pot that resembled the Taj Mahal.

His cat Nefertiti Galore caught several vampiric flesh eating rats that had been sent into Set’s bedroom by his enemy siblings Isis and Osiris.

Set’s butler and valet Athelstan arrived to tell him how the Cousteau brothers’ marine archaeological expeditions (that Set was personally financing) were going.

Both Cousteau brothers Louis Alphonse and Toulouse (who were great nephews of the famous 20th Century French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau) had discovered the lost continents of Lemuria and Atlantis respectively the past couple of months.

In the South Pacific, Louis Alphonse Cousteau had discovered the glass coffin containing the perfectly preserved body of Lenora the last Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess of Lemuria in the sunken city of Mu the capital city of the lost continent of Lemuria.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had sent a drone (in the shape of a mechanical pterodactyl) to the South Pacific (an object photographed and video recorded by various people who posted the pics to YouTube conspiracy channels devoted to the topic of NASA covering up the existence of dinosaurs in the modern world) containing a test tube of Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Resurrection Serum – a combination of ambrosia (that kept the Greek Olympian gods immortal) dried tana leaves (like in the early 1940s Universal Pictures Mummy films that kept the mummy Kharis alive), dried eucalyptus leaves (whose fresh eucalyptus leaves keep koala bears alive) and dried Canadian recreational cannabis leaves (whose smoking and inhaling keeps Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s genetically created pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever alive).

The serum when poured between Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria’s lips immediately brought her back from the dead.

Louis Alphonse Cousteau shot a video of the Lemurian Dragon Warrioress Princess doing her happy dance at being brought back from the dead:

The Dragon Princess wasn’t quite ready yet to show her face to the world.

After watching the video, Set then closed his sarcophagus lid.

Athelstan proceeded to do some dusting around the Egyptian vampire’s bedroom when suddenly he noticed a milky white substance overflowing from his Divine Vampiric Lordship’s sarcophagus.

“Good Lord!” Athelstan exclaimed, “Isis and Osriris have found a way to drown the master!”.

He immediately ran over and opened the sarcophagus lid.

“Close the f%!&*!ing lid, you idiot,” Set shouted as he was caught with his Hugh Hefner style red velvet pyjama bottoms down and his hands on the region between his hips.

“Sorry, sir,” Athelstan immediately closed the lid down, “I thought maybe your nephew Horus had come up with a way of Death By Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 8th
2018.

Permalink 16 Comments

U.S. Democrats and Radical Feminists Will Always Believe The Women Unless The Accused Is Named Bill Clinton

September 28, 2018 at 10:34 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

U.S. Democrats and Radical Feminists Will Always Believe The Women Unless The Accused Is Named Bill Clinton

“U.S. Democrats and radical feminists will always believe the women unless the accused is named Bill Clinton.”

Such was the reply given by British MP Renfield R. Renfield when he was asked to give his response on the reaction of various groups of Americans to the jail time sentence for disgraced comedian Bill Cosby and the Senate hearings regarding Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

Then Renfield added, “The same goes as well for the idiots at The Washington Post and The New York Times. They will always believe the women as well unless the accused is named Bill Clinton.”

Mrs. Worthington the rabid fanatical British and European football (soccer in the U.S. and Canada) fan who always got into violent vitriolic pub and bar brawls on the subject with other customers who were fans of her favourite teams’ opponents added (she was Renfield’s lunch companion at the time), “Just like these same gang of idiots are always opposed to pedophile covering up bishops unless the pedophile covering up bishop happens to be named Pope Francis. The only so-called “progressive” far leftist paper that seems to have a sense of decency is Der Spiegel which is finally attacking Pope Francis for protecting those priests and bishops who molest altar boys or rape young male seminarians.”

“Now, Mother, do calm yourself,” said Mrs. Worthington’s son Athelstan who was the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and was taking the day off to escort his mother around London, “Remember what your doctor says about your heart condition.”

“I’ll have to get a new doctor,” Mrs. Worthington answered, “He died yesterday. He’s the 32nd doctor in the past 10 years who’s died on me after constantly advising me to stop getting excited while watching British and European and FIFA World Cup Football games and to keep out of pub and bar brawls on the subject because it might aggravate my heart condition and I’ll keel over.”

“Mr. Renfield,” a reporter asked the MP, “why do U.S. Democrats, radical feminists, the New York Times and The Washington Post go after people like Brett Kavanaugh (who may or may not be guilty) but give a free pass to the likes of Bill Clinton and Pope Francis?”.

“Those sexual predators who either knowingly or unknowingly worship the demons Moloch and Baphomet they will give a free pass to,” Renfield answered, “since likewise most U. S. Democrats, radical feminists, Washington Post and New York Times editors and reporters either knowingly or unknowingly worship Moloch and Baphomet and their sacrifice of innocent human life agendas.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 28th
2018.

Permalink 59 Comments

Would-Be Sultan Erdogan Meets Pope Francis

February 5, 2018 at 9:25 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Would-Be Sultan Erdogan Meets Pope Francis

Renfield R. Renfield MP arrived home at the London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set after a long day in his parliamentary office where he had spent most of the day discussing world affairs with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill over glasses of brandy (one in material liquid form and the other in spectral spirit form).

As Renfield walked through the door, Athelstan was busy dusting a Ming vase showing the 15th Century Chinese dominatrix Lily Ling (a distant ancestress of Sherrielock Holmes) wielding a whip across the buttocks of a Ming emperor.

Amadeus was on the piano playing the melody to Chopsticks with a pair of chopsticks.

“So,” Renfield growled as he walked through the door, “I was informed that the would-be Sultan of the proposed revived Ottoman Empire Recep Tayyip Erdogan had a private papal audience with Pope Francis at the Vatican in Rome today.”

“Well,” Athelstan quipped, “that means there was one more person that showed up than there were at a recent public papal audience in Saint Peter’s Square.”

“Yes,” Renfield remarked, “it’s amazing how defending a Chilean bishop who covered up for pedophile priests can drastically reduce one’s popularity.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 5th
2018.

Permalink 2 Comments

Renfield Receives A Knighthood

December 30, 2017 at 11:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield Receives A Knighthood

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set looked somewhat perplexed as he sat in his chair in the living room of his colossal West London mansion and tried to read his copy of The Times of London.

For every time his former employee and current tenant the British MP Renfield R. Renfield entered the living room, Amadeus Emanon would play Sir Edward Elgar’s musical piece Land of Hope and Glory on the piano.

Finally exasperated beyond all point of vampiric endurance, Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan who was busy pouring tea, “Why is it that every time Renfield enters the room, Amadeus starts playing Sir Edward Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory on the piano?”.

“Beg your pardon, sir,” Athelstan handed Set his cup of Earl Grey tea, “but Mr. Renfield requested that Amadeus do so.”

“Why in the name of God (who doesn’t exist),” Set added honey, sugar, lemon, milk and brain expanding nanites to his tea, “did Renfield make such a request?”.

“Because Mr. Renfield has been named to the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list,” Athelstan answered.

“What?” Set spewed out a mouthful of tea which was a good thing because the sight of a vampire’s head exploding is not a pretty thing to see.

“Yes, he’s been awarded a knighthood,” Athelstan calmly wiped up the tea stain with Miss Sherrielock Holmes’ Bavarian Wild Mushroom Cleaner Stain Remover.

“In heaven’s name (even though Heaven doesn’t exist),” Set spewed out the remainder of his tea out of his mouth, “why?”.

“Ostensibly for planning that British Brigade of Gurkhas raid on that ISIS Islamic State training camp in Libya back on June 6th of this year in which Renfield had the Gurkhas tie nails and explosives to the ISIS members’ tiny testicles and which Renfield then detonated simultaneously at the push of a button – a raid Renfield planned and executed in retaliation for the Manchester and London terrorist attacks,” Athelstan answered.

“Is there another reason Renfield might have been awarded the knighthood?” Set asked.

“He dove in and saved one of the Queen’s corgis from drowning in a swimming pool earlier this year,” Athelstan remarked.

“Good God,” Set went into another relapse of Judeo-Christian terminology, “Renfield is conceited enough as it is. Imagine what he’ll be like once we have to call him Sir Renfield.”

“The whole thing fills me with chills, sir,” Athelstan dumped the tea outside which was then drunk by a rat whose head exploded after doing so.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 30th
2017.

Permalink 20 Comments

Amadeus and The Unicorn On Christmas Eve

December 24, 2017 at 10:21 pm (Christmas, Entertainment, Folklore, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Amadeus and The Unicorn On Christmas Eve

Amadeus Emanon was spending Christmas Eve walking through London’s Hyde Park.

He’d be attending Midnight Mass at an Anglo-Catholic Church of England parish later in the evening.

His friend Renfield R. Renfield the newly elected British Transhumanist MP was spending Christmas Eve in his bedroom with the doors locked.

Renfield had seen a live stage performance of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol earlier in the evening and was now terribly afraid that like Scrooge, he’d be visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.

Athelstan the butler and valet on the Set Estate would be spending Christmas with his mother in northern England where no doubt most of his time would be spent getting his mother out of drunken brawls arguing over who would win the FIFA World Cup in Russia next year.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (owner of the Set Estate) would be spending his time over the next few days hibernating in his sarcophagus until all the Christmas cheer died down.

Amadeus sat down on a park bench and looked at the snow and the decorative lights on some of the trees.

Suddenly from behind one of the trees a unicorn appeared.

Snow white in its appearance, it walked with its glistening horn towards Amadeus and bowed.

It then went on its way and seemed to vanish into the night.

After its appearance, a musical melody entered Amadeus’ head.

Taking out a notebook 📓 (a real old fashioned notebook and not an iPad) and a pen, Amadeus wrote down the notes to the melody.

No doubt seeing a unicorn on Christmas Eve conveys an important message, Amadeus felt.

Meanwhile back on the Set Estate, Renfield R. Renfield hid under his bedroom blankets and covers when he heard the old grandfather clock in the hall chime 11 PM.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 24th
2017.

Permalink 6 Comments

Of Soccer Players, Renfield and New Orleans Vampiresses

September 20, 2017 at 4:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

It was a hectic day in the colossal west London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set himself had flown to Atlanta, Georgia to meet former U.S. President Jimmy Carter to discuss an emergency matter that had just come up (involving a WW1 German U-boat submarine).

The butler and valet Athelstan’s mother (who was staying as a guest in the house for a few days) was screaming in her sleep and awakening the whole house, “Oh yes, Senor Messi, yes! You’ve definitely got your balls in the right place. Keep going! Keep going!!”.

Athelstan went running into her room to wake her up, “I have the feeling that if people dream about the same thing, then FC Barcelona’s Lionel Messi is having one Hell of a nightmare.”

Renfield R. Renfield was once again working on a speech he was giving on global affairs in the British House of Commons this time warning that the enigmatic Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike was plotting a hostile takeover of Monsanto warning “that this would be a major threat to agricultural and food production in Africa and Asia given Mr. Pike’s racist and genocidal attitudes.”

And Amadeus Emanon was getting ready for a date with the New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont.

They were planning to go see a play featuring the great London stage actor Sir Carlton Hardisty.

The name of the play was An Evening In London On The Eve of Sarajevo 1914.

Amadeus walked into the mansion’s piano room where Angelique Dumont was waiting for him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 20th
2017.

Permalink 18 Comments

Renfield and Jane Austen

July 18, 2017 at 3:01 pm (books, Celebrities, History, Literature, News, Vampire novel) (, , , )

British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield returned to his home- the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

At the door, he was greeted by Set’s personal valet and butler Athelstan.

“You’re wearing more black than usual today, Athelstan,” Renfield noted, “Is there something wrong?”.

“Begging your pardon today, sir,” Athelstan answered, “but I’m in mourning.”

“Did your mother die after being killed in a bar room brawl arguing over who’s the best premier league football player in all England?” Renfield asked.

“No, sir,” Athelstan shook his head, “but I do worry about that happening, I must admit. Every time I see her, I keep telling her, Mother, you’re going to have to stop drinking and getting into violent arguments about British, European and FIFA World Football at the same time. Having to bail you out of jail all the time is starting to affect my savings to say nothing of my worrying about you being killed in one of these silly arguments.”

“If it’s not your mother,” Renfield inquired, “who is it that you’re in mourning for?”.

“It was 200 years ago today, sir, on July 18th 1817 that the great British novelist Jane Austen died,” Athelstan looked sad, “I’m in mourning for her.”

“Did you personally know her, Athelstan?” Renfield opened up a bottle of Brown Ale.

“No, sir, I’m not a vampire, I’m a mortal 50 years old,” Athelstan replied, “but I do love her work.”

“Didn’t Dracul Van Helsing once play Mr. Darcy in an amateur drama company’s live theatrical production of Pride and Prejudice in his home town in Alberta, Canada?” Renfield asked.

“I believe he did, sir,” Athelstan nodded.

“Well, carry on then, Athelstan,” Renfield looked at his watch, “and do let me know when it’s the 200th Anniversary of Charles Dickens’ death.”

“I will, sir,” Athelstan took Renfield’s hat and cane and now empty bottle of Brown Ale.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 18th
2017.

Permalink 2 Comments

Next page »