Netanyahu, Bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

April 27, 2020 at 9:41 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Netanyahu, bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

Some foul mouthed teen girl bicyclist was riding down the street shooting her foul mouth illiterate mouth off, “I’ve got the whole world at my feet, motherfucker.”

Pan Goatee who was putting the garbage out promptly beheaded the foul mouth trash can sporting a bad hair style and commented before hand, “Two words of advice. Don’t talk to yourself in public or people might think you’re insane. And don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur.”

He kicked the motherfucking female cyclist’s head down the street where it was promptly eaten by rats.

. . .

U. S. President Donald Trump was talking to his butler and valet Athelstan, “Somebody tweeted me an article from the Nostradumbass Science Enquirer saying that if I were to launch nuclear weapons all over the planet, that would provide enough heat and radiation to kill the Wuhan Virus. What do you think, Athelstan?”.

“Don’t do it, sir,” Athelstan answered.

. . .

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was talking to his allies in the United Arab Emirates about the genocidal campaign they had been carrying out against the Houthis in Yemen (with U.S. support) for the past several years.

“Why don’t they just roll over and play dead for real?” The Saudi Crown Prince was foaming at the mouth, “We’ve been cluster bombing them. We’ve been cutting off most of their food supply. But they won’t starve to death. We’ve been cutting off medical aid to them but they won’t succumb to Covid-19 or any other illness and die en masse. This is very inconsiderate of them. Why in the name of Allah the Merciful won’t they just die when we’ve spent hundreds of millions trying to exterminate them?”.

The U.A.E. representative had no answer for the bombastic Saudi Crown Prince.

. . .

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was talking to a Mossad agent named Star of Azazel.

“We are going to be annexing a whole bunch of territories in the West Bank over the next couple of months,” Netanyahu said between mouthfuls of kosher corn beef sandwich, “And the U.S. government says it will back us in this. I’m about to earn an everlasting legacy in Israel’s history. And in my humble opinion, I can say no Israeli politician is more deserving of this. I just hope I don’t come down with Covid-19 like Britain’s Boris Johnson did. That would put a damper on everything.”

. . .

Meanwhile in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome, the Greek nature god Pan and the demon Baphomet were taking the figure of Christ off a Crucifix and substituting in its place a figure of the Middle Eastern goat demon Azazel.

But since there were no public Masses being held in Italy these days, it would be a while before anyone would notice.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 27th
2020.

Permalink 10 Comments

Saint George and The Dragon

April 23, 2020 at 10:48 pm (History, Literature, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Saint George and The Dragon

There is an old tradition in the Greek Orthodox Church 
that angels could fall until the 1st Coming of Christ 
By Christ’s 1st Coming, the choices they made would then be their eternal decision and destination forever more.
Just as for mortal humans, they have until the moment of their own death or until Christ’s 2nd Coming (whatever comes first) to decide their eternal fate

And so even though Lucifer and a large portion of the angels fell in a Cosmic rebellion against the Creator of the Cosmos
Yet other angels fell afterwards 
Until Christ’s 1st Coming.

And so it was that a Watcher angel called Semjaza 
landed with 199 other Watcher angels 
on Mount Hermon 
on what is today the Israel-Lebanon-Syria border region 

They saw that the daughters of men were fair 
(Unlike today where a lot of the daughters of men are quite repulsively ugly and require a Pan Goatee to bump them off in order to restore Earth’s aesthetic balance)
And desired to mate with them

Semjaza got the other 199 to swear an oath upon Mount Hermon 
That he wouldn’t be the only one to participate in this angelic sin of mating with human women 

In addition to mating with mortal women
Semjaza also made out with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith
And she gave birth to Azazel

Azazel son of Semjaza and Lilith
Became the leader of the Watchers and the Nephilim
And taught humanity both war and witchcraft 

Later Azazel was bound hand and foot by the Archangel Raphael
And chained to the rough and jagged rocks of Dudael
which is east of Jerusalem 

But before that happened Azazel along with other Watcher angels and Nephilim
were engaging in genetic experiments and tampering with DNA of different species 
(As Christ said, “Behold as it was in the days of Noah, so it shall be at the Coming of the Son of Man”)

Azazel took a fossilized skull of an old T-Rex 
The fossilized body, wings and legs of a pterodactyl
The poisonous venom of a Basilisk
And the ability to breathe fire like from the mouth of the Middle Kingdom Phoenix bird (or Chinese Phoenix)
Put them together 
And created a hybrid monster of all those species 

Azazel threw this monster into the sea waters off Lebanon
Where it mainly fed on marine life
By the 200s AD however the dragon (for that is what it resembled most in appearance) was sunning itself on the beach when a mortal human maiden approached 
It ate her and developed a penchant for female human flesh 
So people up and down the coasts of Lebanon
Were forced to give their young females to the dragon as a sacrifice 
to prevent the dragon from running amuck 
And breathing fire down on their towns and villages 

A young woman called Sabra 
then found herself chained to a rock 
Awaiting the approach of the dragon 
one fine day in the late 290s AD

A young Roman soldier called George 
came along riding a white horse 
And slew the Dragon with his sword 
when it approached Sabra

George himself was later slain by the Roman Emperor Diocletian (a human that was very much in personality like a demonic dragon) 
for refusing to renounce his Christian faith

The death of George occurred on April 23rd 303 AD 
in Nicomedia 
The capital of ancient Bithynia 
Which later served as an interim capital 
for Constantine the Great 
while the city of Byzantium was being rebuilt and later became Constantinople.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 23rd 
2020.

Permalink 2 Comments

The Controller of The Golem In Prague

August 19, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Controller of The Golem In Prague

The Mossad agent code named the Controller of The Golem stood on the Charles Bridge in Prague the capital of the Czech Republic.

The Charles Bridge had been built back in 1357 by Charles IV the King of Bohemia and the Holy Roman Emperor.

The Controller was to meet in a rendezvous with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Back on February 19th of this year, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith while wearing a Karl Lagerfeld evening gown had, with the help of a hypnotized Count Dracula, stolen the inanimate body of the Golem of Prague from the invisible corner of the attic of Prague’s Old New Synagogue.

The inanimate body of the Golem of Prague was being held for ransom on the vampiress Lilith’s heavily guarded country estate outside Astana Kazakhstan.

Earlier today however Lilith had sent an encrypted coded message to the Controller of the Golem saying that she would return the Golem’s inanimate body to him tonight on the Charles Bridge in Prague with no questions asked.

The Controller naturally expected a trap which was why he was wearing a bullet proof vest as he walked across the bridge.

It was then that the Controller recognized a large centaur walking at an easy pace across the bridge.

The Controller of the Golem recognized the centaur as Acheronus a centaur who came from Acheron the River of Woe in the Underworld of Hades.

An eccentric Interpol friend of the Controller- Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol- had sent the Mossad agent a picture of the equine-homo sapien hybrid beast from Hades earlier this year.

The Controller did not pay much attention to the Centaur as Acheronus was mainly known for shooting and killing climate change deniers, people who pollute the environment and U.S. country club Republicans with his poisonous bows and arrows.

Imagine the Controller’s surprise therefore when a poisoned arrow came right through his bullet proof vest (which wasn’t arrow proof).

The Controller of the Golem collapsed at the foot of the Crucifix on the Charles Bridge in Prague.

. . .

The Mossad agent code named Star of Azazel received a text message from Hephaestus the blacksmith of the Greek gods.

Hephaestus who was currently working on a pair of horse shoes for Acheronus the Centaur informed Star of Azazel that the centaur assassin’s mission seemed to be a success.

Star of Azazel (who knew the codes for supposedly encrypted messages from the vampiress Lilith to Mossad) smiled.

His fellow agent the Controller of the Golem could have been a major pain in the ass in this matter of the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein.

. . .

The Controller of The Golem raised his head above the pavement and looked up at the figure of Christ on the Crucifix.

The Controller found it ironic that Acheronus would shoot at him so that he would fall at this particular spot.

“Maybe you really are The Lord after all, Yeshua,” the Controller said thinking about his grandmother.

His grandmother had converted to Christianity before she died and so was considered the black sheep of the family.

Just before he left his Prague hotel room for his supposed meeting with Lilith on the Charles Bridge, a pterodactyl drone (invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) had tapped his robotic reptilian beak and robotic reptilian claws on his hotel room window.

When he opened the window, the pterodactyl drone presented him with a handwritten note from his friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher as well as a package containing a vest.

The note from Dr. Rocher read, “Please wear this poisoned arrow proof vest under your bullet proof vest for your meeting on the Charles Bridge tonight. Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster recommends it as he just received a vision of treachery and skulduggery.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 19th
2019.

Permalink Leave a Comment

More Uglos Slain, Donald Trump To Meet Loki and Vampiress Lilith Skis Mount Hermon

January 24, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again riding the bus when he saw a fat ugly blimp getting on.

“Jesus Fucking H. Christ!” Pan Goatee exclaimed when he saw the hideously grotesque offspring of a human male-female walrus abomination sexual liaison, “Calgary women seem to be getting uglier and uglier with each passing day. I feel like Sisyphus trying to roll that rock up a hill only to have it roll down again in my never ending efforts to bring a Friedrich Nietzschean and Oscar Wildean sense of beauty and aesthetics to this godforsaken city.”

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly cow and then cut her up into 666 trillion pieces with his astral laser machete.

He went and sat down again and the man sitting across from him asked, “What does the H. in Jesus Fucking H. Christ stand for?”.

“Harry,” Pan Goatee answered.

“Wow,” the man turned to his average looking but fortunately (for her) non-repulsive looking wife, “Jesus has the same name I do. Harry.”

“Oh shut up, Harold,” Martha replied.

When Goatee attempted to get off at his stop, some ugly stoat looking woman tried to get off in front of him and so he beheaded her and likewise cut her up into 666 trillion pieces.

“Jesus Fucking H. Christ!” Goatee exclaimed again at the mention of whose name Harold the passenger smiled, “What is it with these fucking ugly looking cretins wandering around all over the place? If the Watcher angels came down to Earth again like they did in the days of Mount Hermon, they wouldn’t be mating with the daughters of men as is mentioned in Genesis Chapter 6 and elaborated on in the Book of Enoch because these days the daughters of men are not fair and beautiful to look upon. They’re repulsively ugly and make one want to vomit all over the place. Especially in Calgary. Gives a whole new meaning to this city’s nickname of Cowtown.”

. . .

“I just got a call on my Huawei smart phone from the Norse trickster god Loki,” Donald Trump explained to his English butler and valet Lexington, “He wants to take me out for a Norse Norwegian lutefisk dinner.”

“That’s very nice of him, sir,” Lexington removed Trump’s toupee and put it in the sulphuric acid tank to kill germs.

“What is lutefisk anyways?” Trump asked as he noted how much he looked like an elderly Lex Luthor in the mirror.

“It’s a combination of dried/salted whitefish and lye, sir,” Lexington answered.

“Wow,” Trump replied as he watched the hairs on his toupee in the sulphuric acid tank stand on end, “Is it safe to eat?”.

“Well it is my understanding, sir, that a Norwegian-Canadian gentleman up in the town of Donalda, Alberta, Canada won a lutefisk eating contest back in the 1950s by eating 94 plates of the stuff. He wasn’t around to receive the prize however as he keeled over and died while starting on his 95th plate. Today he’s still looked upon as a dead living legend in the town of Donalda and the immediate surrounding areas. In fact, his name is always spoken in whispers by people who promptly make the Sign of the Cross while doing so. Which is strange considering that most people with a Norwegian background are Lutheran and not Catholic.”

“So you’d advise me then not to eat 94 plates of the stuff?” Trump pondered what to tweet about next.

“On the contrary, sir,” Lexington shook his head, “on behalf of the 800,000 unpaid federal government workers, I think you should eat at least 94 plates of the stuff.”

“I guess I’ll have to cut down on the number of hamberders I eat ahead of time then,” Trump noted.

. . .

The Mossad agent they call the Controller of The Golem was on the southern slopes of Mount Hermon in the Israeli controlled Golan Heights.

The ski hill at Mount Hermon had been hit this past Sunday January 20th (around the time of the Super Blood Wolf Moon) by an Iranian missile in retaliation for Israeli Air Force strikes on Iranian targets near Damascus Airport.

The Controller of The Golem had been informed that a lovely and sexy redheaded woman wearing a slit skirted jade evening dress was skiing in spiked stiletto high heeled shoes and skis down the southern slopes of Mount Hermon.

The Controller of The Golem came to see for himself concerned that his agents might be smoking legalized Canadian recreational cannabis on the side.

He saw however that they were right.

“Lilith,” the Controller of The Golem remarked as the sexy slit skirted evening dress Babylonian vampiress skiied up to him.

“Nathan,” the Babylonian vampiress greeted him by name.

“What are you doing here?” Nathan asked.

“Recounting memories of making out with Semjaza the leader of the Watchers when he landed on Mount Hermon,” Lilith laughed lusciously.

“You were here when that happened?” Nathan’s jaw dropped.

“Of course,” Lilith winked, “Semjaza told me that I was the best earth lay he ever had. Azazel was our son.”

“The demon Azazel was your son?” Nathan was shocked again, “But I thought he was one of the original Watchers.”

“Many people assume that,” Lilith laughed, “yet if they paid attention to Chapter 7 of the Book of Enoch where the names of Semjaza the chief and the names of the prefects of the 200 Watcher angels are named, nowhere is Azazel’s name mentioned. Azazel is only mentioned in Chapter 8 after the Watcher angels made out with Earth women. And I being an earth vampiress and Semjaza being an angel gave rise to Azazel who taught men warfare and women witchcraft.”

“I recall what the Scapegoat did to the world,” Nathan answered.

“Yes,” Lilith smiled, “those who have power practice war and those who don’t have power practice witchcraft. Which is why since 2000 in the U.S., the Republicans have been waging war and the Democrats have been practicing witchcraft.”


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith when she was in Saint Petersburg Russia on October 13th last autumn.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 24th
2019.

Permalink 16 Comments

Putin and Our Lady of Kazan

October 4, 2016 at 2:10 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Putin and Our Lady of Kazan

Russian President Vladimir Putin was watching replays of the Donald Trump-Hillary Clinton debates on a television screen in a room in the Kremlin.

He thought he heard portraits of Ivan The Terrible, Peter The Great and Josef Stalin sing Tomorrow Belongs To Me (from the musical Cabaret) while the debate was on.

A map of Russia on the wall joined in the singing.

One of his aides approached the Russian leader.

“Comrade President?” his aide interrupted.

“What is it, Dmitri?” Putin inquired.

“An incident happened at one of our military bases in Syria,” his aide whispered.

“What sort of incident?” Putin asked.

“An icon of Our Lady of Kazan that hung in the base’s headquarters was stolen,” the aide (and former atheistic Marxist) looked grim.

“Stolen?” Putin blinked, “By whom? ISIS terrorists hoping to desecrate it?”.

“No, Comrade President,” his aide shook his head, “that’s the thing. It was stolen by Israeli commandos.”

“Israeli commandos?” Putin was incredulous.

“Yes, Comrade President,” his aide looked equally shocked.

. . .

In Jerusalem, a pre-eminent rabbi, who was best known in Israeli society for wanting to rebuild the Jewish temple on the Temple Mount, bowed before an image of Azazel who was mentioned in the Qumran Enochian literature and some medieval Jewish writings as being a demon.

The rabbi (who was viewed by most of his fellow Israelis as a promoter of hatred) sprinkled the ashes of a burnt icon at the feet of Azazel.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 1st
2016.

Permalink 8 Comments