Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec

September 25, 2019 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Boris Johnson, Benjamin Netanyahu and The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec 

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had to return to the Westminster House of Commons today after Britain’s Supreme Court ruled yesterday that his proroguing Parliament for 5 weeks was illegal.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield the United Kingdom’s Deputy Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering (and therefore a member of Johnson’s cabinet) was giving his friend Amadeus Emanon a run down of today’s parliamentary brawls and name calling.

“The Opposition needless to say,” but Renfield said it anyway, “acted like so much braying asses. It seemed that Labour MPs, Liberal Democratic MPs and Scottish Nationalist Party MPs were having a contest to see who could do the best facial impersonation of Swedish teen climate activist Grumpy Greta Thunberg. Simon Cowell would have had a hard time trying to judge a winner. Labour MPs were trying to outdo U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden in showing signs of advanced senility. The Scottish Nationalist Party showed why Scottish independence was so overwhelmingly rejected in the 2014 referendum as the Scots no doubt didn’t want this gang of bozos to be the leaders of their independent nation. The British Liberal Democrats looked like walking advertisements for the Before pictures in posters for an Enema Relief Medical Clinic. It made one wish this was the Taiwanese Parliament where one could use one’s fists and knock the living daylights out of one’s opponents.”

. . .

Meanwhile in Israel, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having a telephone conversation with his most ardent supporter in the deep state of the Mossad intelligence service the operative known as Star of Azazel.

“Now that the country’s President Reuvin Rivlin has asked me to stay on as Prime Minister and given me first shot at trying to form a coalition government in the state,” Netanyahu drank a glass of wine in celebration, “I hope you will proceed to do everything possible in ensuring that certain external circumstances outside the country will emerge in such a way as to get other parties to support me when Israel is faced with such a dire external threat.”

Star of Azazel put aside the book of Kabbalistic black magic wizardry and sorcery he had been reading when Netanyahu called and looked at his guests Ares the Greek god of war, Thor the Norse god of thunder and Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war who were in his living room.

“We’re working on that, Mr. Prime Minister,” Star of Azazel said before ending the phone call.

Azazel looked at Morrigan who was the most intelligent of the three deities present in the room.

“I’m sure more drones can be sent flying into Saudi Aramco oil refineries,” Morrigan smiled as she smoothed her dress, “and plenty of our agents in Foreign Affairs Ministries and Departments throughout the world can point fingers at Iran.”

Star of Azazel smiled and drank a toast, “Mazel Tov.”

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec did an Irish jig when she completed dressing prior to going down to the UN General Assembly to give a speech on Climate Change.

“Global warming will definitely hit the UN tonight,” Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing said when he saw what she was wearing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 25th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh

September 20, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec took a selfie of herself prior to going out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to meet British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the Irish border leprechaun Yaldabaoth, the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist MEP the Kraken Napoloeon VI and his ex-Gorgon wife Medusa to find a possible solution to the Brexit crisis involving the Irish backstop.

Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had offered to intervene as a mediator in the dispute between Britain and the EU.

Britain’s NHS (National Health Service) had informed Mr. Johnson however that the NHS was not able to give Mr. Quetzalcoatl the amount of living human hearts he required as payment for his mediation services.

Meanwhile the American news media was full of the story that Donald Trump had asked the government of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden’s son Hunter for corruption.

As the American news media were busy wringing their hands over this, Amadeus Emanon the musician and singer who was employed as personal concert pianist to the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was more concerned about a small news story that had appeared in the Wall Street Journal today – a story that was taken down off its news website a few hours later although it could still be found if one used a search engine to search for it but unless people knew that the story was out there, they most likely would not search for it.

The story was the Federal Reserve Bank of New York was offering to add at least $75 billion daily to the financial system until October 10th to ensure the liquidity of the financial system.

The Wall Street Journal added that the Fed will conduct further operations as needed after October 10th.

Amadeus could have asked his employer Set about the matter but the Egyptian god of night and the desert was currently on a vision quest and attending a Cree First Nation sweat lodge ceremony at Elk Island National Park in the Canadian province of Alberta.

So Amadeus went to ask his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering instead.

“Wasn’t the Fed doing something similar to this before the global financial crisis of 2008?” Amadeus asked.

“It was,” Renfield admitted.

“God,” Amadeus turned pale, “I wish you had broken it to me gently in answering this question.”

“Well I’m sorry,” said Renfield, “but I haven’t been in politics as long as Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau have in order to come up with real whoppers to shield people from unpleasant truth and reality.”

Mammon, the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce and patron demon of wealthy elitist oligarchs, isn’t too concerned about the impact that another global financial crisis might have on average folks and those who are struggling below the poverty level 

Meanwhile in Australia, a notorious Australian misfit known to all as Uncle Ernie had (because he was stoned out of his mind) walked into the ladies’ washroom of a prestigious restaurant in Sydney’s Chinatown where he encountered the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was currently working for the Chinese Communist government in Beijing:

“Jesus!” exclaimed Uncle Ernie, “I need to get my hands on some Viagra quick!”.

He then passed out.

-A vampire novel chapter 
Written by Christopher
Friday September 20th
2019.

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Taking A Photo of A Vampiress

July 31, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Taking A Photo of A Vampiress

Genetically modified super soldiers were in London England awaiting their deployment to the Persian Gulf and the Middle East.

The super soldiers had been created by DARPA scientist Dr. Faustus Imhotep.

Among the many things they had been injected with was a youth serum to keep them young.

This mission to the Middle East was to be their first.

A chance for Imhotep to test their ability.

The DARPA doctor had booked the soldiers into a swanky London hotel.

Faustus Imhotep was sure the super soldiers would enjoy a little R and R before heading out on their mission.

And to stay in one of the best London hotels- surely nothing could possibly go wrong.

. . .

Selznick Foret was an aspiring photographer looking for his big break.

He sent an email to Vanity Fair magazine showing some of his work.

One of the editors answered saying that he was impressed with the photos and that if Foret sent them photos of a very unique and interesting subject, they might publish his photos.

Where, Foret wondered, would he find an interesting subject?

. . .

It just so happened that Foret ran into British MP Renfield R. Renfield now a member of the new British cabinet.

Foret had taken the photo for Renfield’s official parliamentary portrait and the MP loved his work.

Foret told Renfield his predicament.

It just so happened that the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was with Renfield at the time.

Van Helsing told Foret that his girlfriend the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was on her way to London.

She would probably agree to pose for a bunch of photos.

Foret was ecstatic.

And so was the editor at Vanity Fair.

Photographs of a vampiress would definitely sell a lot of copies of the magazine.

. . .

Qonzilqointec agreed to pose for the photos.

She would pose for them in her hotel room in a swanky London hotel.

When she arrived at the London hotel, she was looking very tired and haggard after a long flight.

The Aztec vampiress apologized for her appearance.

“Once I’ve drank blood, I should look really young again,” she smiled at him bearing her lovely teeth.

Selznick Foret suddenly felt troubled.

Would he have to make the ultimate sacrifice for getting the perfect picture?

Would he have to offer his neck and his blood to her in order to get her looking young and fresh for the photo session?

“It’s all right,” the vampiress smiled again as if she could read his thoughts, “I’ve got a suitcase of synthetic blood in my room. When I drink that, I should be fine.”

Selznick Foret went back to his own room to get his camera equipment while Qonzilqointec partook of her life giving refreshment.

The vampiress went to her room and when she checked her suitcases, she was horrified to discover that the hotel had misplaced her suitcase containing bottles of synthetic blood.

The blood had been delivered to the room of an American Internal Revenue Service auditor staying at the hotel along with a suitcase full of stones (that should have been sent to the room of a geologist staying at the hotel).

Qonzilqointec realized she’d have to break her promise to Dracul Van Helsing and drink real human blood in order to survive the night.

The vampiress walked around the hotel wondering who she should attack.

Meanwhile the genetically modified super soldiers were in their hotel room having a wild party.

The Aztec vampiress opened the unlocked door of the hotel room.

She recognized the men as genetically modified super soldiers from photos in a tweet that Donald Trump had published on his Twitter account in which he had boasted about American military superiority and intelligence.

Being Mexican, Qonzilqointec was not a big fan of Donald Trump to say the least.

And as it turned out, despite DARPA’s best efforts, the genetically modified super soldiers were no match for a good old fashioned vampiress.

After drinking all the blood of the genetically modified super soldiers, Qonzilqointec looked very young indeed.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec posing for a Selznick Foret photograph.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Wednesday July 31st
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

June 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had sent his secret agent the invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger to spy on the meeting of Donald Trump’s Security Council last night.

The security council was made up of Trump, National Security advisor John Bolton, U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Sen. Chuck Schumer and various leading members of both houses of Congress.

Tallbanger hung around as Trump met with various leading Pentagon officials afterwards.

Trump was going to order military retaliation for the downing of a U.S. drone by Iranian forces.
However he happened to ask a general how many people might be killed in a retaliatory strike on Iran.

When the general answered at least 150, the invisible 6 foot 8 bunny rabbit spoke up, “You can’t kill 150 people just for the downing of an unmanned drone.
That’s totally disproportionate to what happened. Besides you shouldn’t be giving the president of Amazon any ideas for when their drone parcel deliveries are taken down either by accident or design.”

Upon hearing the words coming at him from an invisible voice, Trump called off the attack 10 minutes before it happened.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield told Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that he Renfield would not be named to the cabinet next month even if Boris Johnson won the British Conservative Party leadership and became Prime Minister.

“Apparently most world leaders, friend and foe alike, are resolutely opposed to me becoming Britain’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering,” Renfield informed Athelstan over his 24th glass of brandy of the past half hour.

“I’m most sorry to hear that, sir,” Athelstan brought Renfield another glass of brandy, “Weren’t there any world leaders that spoke in your favour?”.

“Only King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan,” Renfield answered.

“I always admired King Abdullah and Queen Rania,” said Athelstan.

“Most intelligent people do,” Renfield answered.

“How does Boris Johnson feel about this?” Athelstan inquired.

“Hard to say,” Renfield downed his 25th glass of brandy, “Apparently Boris Johnson and his partner Carrie Symonds had a violent argument over the matter last night. Neighbours called police when they heard the commotion. Carrie Symonds told Johnson that he should tell Donald Trump, Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Emmanuel Macron to go fuck themselves along with the members of Britain’s deep dark state. Johnson apparently spilled red wine all over her sofa in response causing the ghost of Orson Welles to weep uncontrollably when he saw it happen.”

. . .

Allatallahbel the vampiress priestess of Baal had marked the morning of the summer solstice by performing human sacrifices in the catacombs below the Vatican.

Pope Francis awakened by the screams had spent the morning pondering what the French Jesuit theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin had thought of ETs (extraterrestrials) and whether he had written anything on the subject in his numerous writings.

. . .

Ares the Greek god of war, who had spent the night before celebrating with John Bolton and Mike Pompeo over the possibility of war with Iran, had spent all day today drowning his sorrows after Trump called off military action.

Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom on the other hand was very relieved.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 21st
2019.

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Qonzilqointec Encounters Neo-Nazi Billionaire In Dubai

June 13, 2019 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


Wearing protective sunblock invented for her by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was walking the streets of Dubai.

After touring Dubai’s extensive fashion district, she went to have lunch in a restaurant atop one of the city’s sky scraping towers.

It was while she was having lunch that she recognized the Havana-based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike sitting in the very same restaurant.

Robur Pike who called himself Robur The Conquerer II flew around in a giant propeller powered airship called The Albatross II.

Robur Pike had been genetically cloned from locks of hair belonging to Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike (a high-ranking Scottish Rite Freemason, Lucifer worshipper, racist and Ku Klux Klansman) in a Knoxville, Tennessee genetics laboratory back in 1966 by a Nazi scientist Dr. Eckhart Fromm who had been brought to the United States through Operation Paperclip.

Robur Pike lived in Havana, Cuba (due to the huge financial donations he ironically gave the Cuban Communist Party) because that was the city his DNA father Albert Pike envisioned as the capital of a vast slave empire that would include not only the Confederate States of America but also Mexico and various Central American and Caribbean states as well as the South American nation of Brazil.

Various wealthy landowners in Mexico, Central America and Brazil as well as generals in those nations’ armies sympathetic to the cause were prepared to throw their support behind the Confederacy and send troops and soldiers north in support of the Confederacy to battle the Union Army.

The plan fell apart in a meeting in 1864 between Jefferson Davis (President of the Confederate States of America), Albert Pike and Robert E. Lee.

Lee who had only assumed command in the Confederate Army because his beloved home region of northern Virginia had voted to join the Confederacy was opposed to the plan.

Lee, a devout Christian, had become personally an abolitionist over time and while he supported the right of the southern states to secede (something that was actually granted in the U.S. Constitution), he personally thought the Confederacy would have to come to abolish slavery itself because he became convinced that no modern nation could be built on such an abhorrent institution.

Lee told Davis that if the Confederate President backed the Pike Plan, he Lee would join the Union Army.

The plan fell apart.

And Pike (the founder of the Knights of the Golden Circle the Masonic paramilitary group that backed the idea of an intercontinental slave empire of the Americas) never forgave Lee.

But disciples of the Devil can have the last laugh for a while in history.

Beginning in 2015, the brainless anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa sought to have statues of Robert E. Lee torn down throughout the south with their efforts being applauded by brainless liberal allies in the U.S. news media and brainless liberal U.S. politicians.

Totally oblivious to the fact that Lee had in fact saved the Union through his rejection of the Pike Plan.

But such is the attitude of a narcissistic nation that had in 2016 elected a narcissistic President.

For even most U.S. historians (including those at Harvard and Yale) were unaware of Pike’s plan.

A Master’s Degree History student from Brazil who was researching the papers of powerful Brazilian families and generals from the 19th Century knew about the Pike, Davis and Lee meeting.

But since American academia seemed to ignore the role that other world powers tried to play in the U.S. Civil War, such efforts being undertaken outside the U.S. did not fall under their radar.

And Lee had his statues taken down.

And Lee’s Battle Flag of Northern Virginia was adopted as the symbol of segregation by the Ku Klux Klux only in the 1950s.

The so-called Confederate Flag as it was called by brainless northern liberals never was the flag of the Confederate States of America but was in fact Lee’s battle flag for northern Virginia.

But Lee would come to be regarded with opprobrium in 21st Century America while Pike’s statue would continue to stand in Washington DC and Pike would be regarded as a respected Scottish Rite Freemasonic authority the author of the standard Freemasonic text Morals and Dogma.

Qonzilqointec got a text message from British MP Renfield R. Renfield as she gazed over at Pike.

Renfield wondered with Qonzilqointec being over in Dubai, if she’d keep her eyes and ears open as to who might be responsible for today’s attacks on two oil tankers in the Gulf of Oman.

Renfield said he couldn’t put much stock in U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s statement that Iran was responsible for the “unprovoked attacks” because as Renfield put it, “He would say that wouldn’t he?”.

A month earlier, 4 oil tankers were slightly damaged in an unclaimed attack off the United Arab Emirates.

The U.S. had blamed Iran for those attacks as well.

Qonzilqointec mentioned to Renfield that Pike was in Dubai and the attack on the Japanese owned Kokuka Courageous and Norwegian owned Front Altair oil tankers were the sort of dirty shenanigans he might be involved in.

“That is interesting,” Renfield sipped his 12 year old single malt highland whisky as he texted, “I wonder who Robur might be working for? The Iranians, the U.S. or in one of those twisted ironies of history, the Israelis? Since it’s an open geopolitical secret that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu would like nothing less than a U.S. war of regime change coming to Iran.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Thursday June 13th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec and The Statue of A Long-Necked Crane

June 8, 2019 at 9:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec and The Statue of A Long-Necked Crane

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in a room in the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

Dressed in an exquisite lilac purple evening gown, Qonzilqointec knelt on a neo-Louis XIV royal Bourbon blue chair alongside a modern statue of a long-necked crane raising its beak towards a lantern of good fortune.

Into the room walked her friend and lover the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

He had just returned from Jerusalem Israel where he had escorted Miranda Singh (the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) who was beginning a top secret mission for British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Your Highness,” Dracul addressed the Aztec vampiress, “you look the epitome of regal royalty.”

Qonzilqointec smiled, “Those weren’t the words Donald Trump spoke when I lay on his neck and threatened to drain every ounce of blood from his body unless he decided to drop the tariffs he was threatening to impose on my homeland of Mexico.”

“I see you were successful in your negotiations,” Dracul noted, “The U.S. has reached an agreement with Mexico and will not be imposing the tariffs Trump had threatened to impose starting this Monday.”

“Having lived 600 years, I have mastered the art of the deal,” She approached Dracul and gave him a non-fatal hickey.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles was having a spectral dream.

He dreamed of his wife Rita Hayworth as Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon speaking to a bird who was a parrot-raven hybrid created by a 1930s mad scientist forerunner of an early 21st Century Transhumanist scientist.

Said Rita as Semiramis to the parrot-raven hybrid,

“Oh bird who spoke to Poe in the bleak December
Crossed with a bird who can’t shut up and is able to remember 
The world is confused and troubled 
And about to burst an economic bubble 
Putin warns of a new arms race
Stretching from sea to outer space 
Because on arms control, the U.S. won’t negotiate 
Preferring to leave humanity’s hands up to a very dark fate
“Nevermore” you might cry
As peace dove falls from the sky 
Lenore is lost but so are we all 
The end result of Eden’s fall.

-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Saturday June 8th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec Plots Against Trump Tariffs

May 31, 2019 at 10:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was not happy with the tariffs Trump might levy on Mexico

The stock market fell at the news that Donald Trump might levy tariffs on Mexico if Mexico did not stop Central American immigrants from nearing the U.S.-Mexico border.

“Something must be done,” Qonzilqointec said to British MP Renfield R. Renfield over the phone.

“What did you have in mind?” Renfield asked.

“Well Trump will be in Britain for a state visit next week,” the Aztec vampiress pounded her fist on the desk, “I shall fly to Britain and we shall see what will be done.”

“I shall love to see the results,” Renfield smiled as he loved observing the outcome of a vampiress scorned.

“Strange,” Trump spoke to his aide as he woke up from his nap.

“What is it?” His aide asked.

“I had a dream where my name appeared on the cover of a book titled The Art of Making An Involuntary Blood Transfusion,” Trump seemed surprised.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 31st
2019.

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Roast Basilisk In Hell’s Kitchen

April 19, 2019 at 10:43 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing flying the winged horse Pegasus had won the showdown in the Libyan desert with the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone and his rider the dark arts practicing Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai this past Wednesday.

The ghost of Howard Cosell had been on the scene doing commentary for the underworld based Baphomet Broadcasting Network until he succumbed to spectral laryngitis.

Qonzilqointec had doused the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone with Odour of Weasel Perfume sending the genetically recreated satanic beast plunging to its death in the desert sands.

The evil Jesuit Father Caiaphas bar Yochai had survived the fall due to the combination of basilisk venom and extra strong Starbucks dark roasted coffee he had imbibed prior to combat.

The evil priest was not to get off scott free however for Dracul Van Helsing had used the Sword of Saint George to stab the Baphomet worshipping cleric in his phallus.

After Dwayne the Rock Johnson arrived on the scene to declare Qonzilqointec and Dracul the winners, the couple flew off to the Queen Cleopatra Hotel in Alexandria where they spent an evening of tantric sex together.

Star Wars Star Troopers had arrived from Set Enterprises in London to return the basilisk’s body to Britain.

Father Caiaphas bar Yochai managed to catch an Uber ride with an Islamic State terrorist to Paris, France.

There the now swordless Jesuit looked up the ancient Egyptian vampiress Isis since she had previous experience in creating wooden phalluses having created one for her husband Osiris since that was the one part of his 14 missing body parts (after he was dismembered by their brother Set) that she was unable to find.

The American Jesuit priest Father James J. Martin SJ held a Requiem Mass for Father Caiaphas’ fleshly phallus as he had rather fond memories of it.

The basilisk’s body was delivered to Chef Gordon Ramsay and some of his previous winners on the TV program Hell’s Kitchen.

The Rothschilds and some of their business associates were holding a buffet luncheon dinner this Good Friday in London and thought roast basilisk would be just the thing.

Chef Gordon Ramsay and his Hell’s Kitchen crew were brought in to prepare it.

“It tastes like chicken,” one of the Rothschild associates remarked.

“That’s because basilisk is part rooster as well as part serpent,” Chef Gordon Ramsay explained.

Meanwhile the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was worried whether his company would face a law suit as his company’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was responsible for creating this basilisk that caused the fire at Notre Dame this past Monday April 15th 2019 when the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone (driven by the evil Father Caiaphas bar Yochai) breathed venomous fire on repair scaffolding at the cathedral.

However no one on the Paris scene suspected a basilisk as basilisks really hadn’t been around for the past 500 years until Dr. Cadbury Rocher recreated one.

Meanwhile over in France, the ancient Greek god Zeus was having a meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron.

“Monsieur le Presidente,” Zeus spoke impeccable French as he had spent the greater part of the Age of Louis XIV deflowering the loveliest of the French courtesans before the Sun King had the chance to do so, “you may not know this but Notre Dame was built over the site of a Temple of Jupiter. Jupiter was of course the name under which the ancient Romans worshipped me. So I was wondering if you could place a replica of my altar at Pergamum at the top of the new Notre Dame where the old spire and Cross used to be before it collapsed in the towering inferno.”

President Macron, who was busy mentally calculating the age of Zeus’ wife Hera and figuring that she must still be a pretty good looking woman judging from her statues, replied, “Why don’t we discuss this over souvlaki and ouzo?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 19th
2019.


The Greek goddess Hera: Still an extremely good looking woman

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Renfield Vs. Crowley Idolizing Jesuits: Vengeance For The Basilisk Attack On Notre Dame

April 16, 2019 at 9:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

After Dr. Cadbury Rocher was handed over to his great-grandmother the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to get his buns tomatoed for genetically creating the basilisk that caused the fire that engulfed Notre Dame, Renfield was busy tracking down the Aleister Crowley admiring Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai the dark arts practicing sorcerer who flew the basilisk named Basilisk Wrathsbone that set fire to repair scaffolding at Notre Dame with his fiery venomous breath.

Father Caiaphas worked in the Antiquities Section of the Vatican Museum, headed the Rome chapter of the O.T.O. (Ordo Templi Orientis) and served as an advisor on papal liturgies for the Mass to Pope Francis.

Renfield found out in between blood curdling screams screamed by Dr. Rocher in Sherrielock’s dungeon below the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion that the odour of the weasel was apparently fatal to the basilisk.

Renfield bought a bottle of Odour of Weasel Perfume from a discount drug store in London’s Soho district.

He went down to Set Enterprises laboratory and got Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to visualize the current location of the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone.

The Baphomet worshipping Jesuit Father Caiaphas bar Yochai had apparently flown the basilisk to Libya for safety after the disastrous choice he made in getting the basilisk to set fire to Notre Dame with its fiery venomous breath.

The basilisk was a big hit with some of the Islamist terrorist militants there who shouted “Allah akbar!” when Notre Dame went up in flames.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had volunteered to fight the basilisk and Father Caiaphas.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul had flown to Amman Jordan to meet Pegasus the winged horse (also genetically recreated by Dr. Cadbury Rocher) who would be their steed in battling the evil basilisk and its evil Jesuit rider.

Pegasus was currently owned by Queen Rania of Jordan.

Aztec vampiress and Canadian slayer returned to London on Pegasus.

There the Aztec vampiress picked up the bottle of Odour of Weasel Perfume from Renfield to slay the evil basilisk and Dracul picked up the authentic sword of Saint George the Dragonslayer from The Old Curiosity Shop (of Dickensonian fame) to slay the evil Jesuit.

Then they were off to Libya for the final showdown.


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec: With a small bottle of Odour of Weasel Perfume in her purse, she’s off to Libya on Pegasus to slay the evil basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 16th
2019.

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Renfield Muses On The Mueller Report

March 25, 2019 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had left the House of Commons while fisticuffs and wrestling matches over Brexit were still going on.

British Prime Minister Theresa May had former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson in a headlock and British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was having his balls crushed by members of the Democratic Ulster Party.

Renfield joined his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont for dinner in a nearby restaurant.

As Renfield and Angelique already had both dessert and then coffee while Amadeus was now working on his 33rd plate of the All You Can Eat Fish and Chips Special, the chef and the owner were both down on their knees saying their Hail Marys that the concert pianist’s ravenous appetite would soon come to an end.

“So,” Amadeus sipped on his iced tea, “what’s your reaction to the Mueller Report?”.

“Well, it should come as no surprise to intelligent people that there was no collusion between the Russians and the Trump campaign,” Renfield slowly worked on his third post-dinner and dessert cup of coffee, “as intelligent people realize that Vladimir Putin is too intelligent a man to have his intelligence agencies co-operate and work with a disaster in the making like Donald Trump. That fact was of course totally lost on the New York Times, The Washington Post and most Congressional Democrats. But then of course it would be.”

“I noticed the Mueller Report did not give a definite statement one way or the other on whether Donald Trump obstructed justice,” Angelique noted.

“No, I suppose a legal opinion will have to be formulated on whether or not being an idiot constitutes obstruction of justice,” Renfield leaned back in his seat, “The question did not have to be addressed previously in American history because no one like Donald Trump had ever occupied the White House before.”

“What does this portend for the future?” Amadeus asked as he was trying to decide between eating his piece of halibut or his piece of cod next.

“Well, it does bode well for Trump,” Renfield said, “given the New York Times and Washington Post track record. Both papers said there was no way Trump would win the 2016 election. When he did, both papers’ editorial boards tried to explain away their colossal error in judgment by blaming Trump’s victory on the Russians. Now that Mueller has shot a hole in that theory leaving both The Times and The Post with egg on their faces (causing vegan subscribers to both papers to cancel their subscriptions over the outrageous use of poultry byproducts), they will no doubt continue to insist that there’s no way Trump can win re-election. Which should be good news for Trump.”

“What will this mean for the world stage?” Angelique asked.

“Well, the Nicolas Maduro regime in Venezuela can probably breathe a sigh of relief,” Renfield answered, “as there probably won’t be any U.S. military intervention in Venezuela in the near future. Which would have been the case had Mueller found any criminal wrongdoing on Trump’s part. Trump would then have done what any U.S. President had done in the past when faced with a major political scandal at home and that is to start a war abroad in order to divert the electorate’s attention and get people to rally around the flag and rally around the President as the bearer of the flag. Venezuela being the closest place to intervene would have been Trump’s first choice. An added benefit as well since the body bags wouldn’t have so far to fly home.”

“So does this mean peace on the world stage?” Amadeus waved to the waiter to order another plate of fish and chips.

“Sadly no,” Renfield shook his head, “The situation in the Middle East could blow sky high at any moment. There was already a Hamas rocket attack on a suburb of Tel Aviv overnight. And the Israeli Air Force are currently bombing Gaza in retaliation. Syria, Iran and Russia may decide to do something about the Golan Heights situation in response to Trump recognizing Israeli sovereignty over the area. There are all sorts of fuses that could go off over there.”


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec during a raging sea storm on the Isle of Patmos (site of the Apostle Saint John’s vision of the Apocalypse)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 25th
2019.

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