Taking A Photo of A Vampiress

July 31, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Taking A Photo of A Vampiress

Genetically modified super soldiers were in London England awaiting their deployment to the Persian Gulf and the Middle East.

The super soldiers had been created by DARPA scientist Dr. Faustus Imhotep.

Among the many things they had been injected with was a youth serum to keep them young.

This mission to the Middle East was to be their first.

A chance for Imhotep to test their ability.

The DARPA doctor had booked the soldiers into a swanky London hotel.

Faustus Imhotep was sure the super soldiers would enjoy a little R and R before heading out on their mission.

And to stay in one of the best London hotels- surely nothing could possibly go wrong.

. . .

Selznick Foret was an aspiring photographer looking for his big break.

He sent an email to Vanity Fair magazine showing some of his work.

One of the editors answered saying that he was impressed with the photos and that if Foret sent them photos of a very unique and interesting subject, they might publish his photos.

Where, Foret wondered, would he find an interesting subject?

. . .

It just so happened that Foret ran into British MP Renfield R. Renfield now a member of the new British cabinet.

Foret had taken the photo for Renfield’s official parliamentary portrait and the MP loved his work.

Foret told Renfield his predicament.

It just so happened that the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was with Renfield at the time.

Van Helsing told Foret that his girlfriend the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was on her way to London.

She would probably agree to pose for a bunch of photos.

Foret was ecstatic.

And so was the editor at Vanity Fair.

Photographs of a vampiress would definitely sell a lot of copies of the magazine.

. . .

Qonzilqointec agreed to pose for the photos.

She would pose for them in her hotel room in a swanky London hotel.

When she arrived at the London hotel, she was looking very tired and haggard after a long flight.

The Aztec vampiress apologized for her appearance.

“Once I’ve drank blood, I should look really young again,” she smiled at him bearing her lovely teeth.

Selznick Foret suddenly felt troubled.

Would he have to make the ultimate sacrifice for getting the perfect picture?

Would he have to offer his neck and his blood to her in order to get her looking young and fresh for the photo session?

“It’s all right,” the vampiress smiled again as if she could read his thoughts, “I’ve got a suitcase of synthetic blood in my room. When I drink that, I should be fine.”

Selznick Foret went back to his own room to get his camera equipment while Qonzilqointec partook of her life giving refreshment.

The vampiress went to her room and when she checked her suitcases, she was horrified to discover that the hotel had misplaced her suitcase containing bottles of synthetic blood.

The blood had been delivered to the room of an American Internal Revenue Service auditor staying at the hotel along with a suitcase full of stones (that should have been sent to the room of a geologist staying at the hotel).

Qonzilqointec realized she’d have to break her promise to Dracul Van Helsing and drink real human blood in order to survive the night.

The vampiress walked around the hotel wondering who she should attack.

Meanwhile the genetically modified super soldiers were in their hotel room having a wild party.

The Aztec vampiress opened the unlocked door of the hotel room.

She recognized the men as genetically modified super soldiers from photos in a tweet that Donald Trump had published on his Twitter account in which he had boasted about American military superiority and intelligence.

Being Mexican, Qonzilqointec was not a big fan of Donald Trump to say the least.

And as it turned out, despite DARPA’s best efforts, the genetically modified super soldiers were no match for a good old fashioned vampiress.

After drinking all the blood of the genetically modified super soldiers, Qonzilqointec looked very young indeed.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec posing for a Selznick Foret photograph.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Wednesday July 31st
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

June 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had sent his secret agent the invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger to spy on the meeting of Donald Trump’s Security Council last night.

The security council was made up of Trump, National Security advisor John Bolton, U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Sen. Chuck Schumer and various leading members of both houses of Congress.

Tallbanger hung around as Trump met with various leading Pentagon officials afterwards.

Trump was going to order military retaliation for the downing of a U.S. drone by Iranian forces.
However he happened to ask a general how many people might be killed in a retaliatory strike on Iran.

When the general answered at least 150, the invisible 6 foot 8 bunny rabbit spoke up, “You can’t kill 150 people just for the downing of an unmanned drone.
That’s totally disproportionate to what happened. Besides you shouldn’t be giving the president of Amazon any ideas for when their drone parcel deliveries are taken down either by accident or design.”

Upon hearing the words coming at him from an invisible voice, Trump called off the attack 10 minutes before it happened.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield told Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that he Renfield would not be named to the cabinet next month even if Boris Johnson won the British Conservative Party leadership and became Prime Minister.

“Apparently most world leaders, friend and foe alike, are resolutely opposed to me becoming Britain’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering,” Renfield informed Athelstan over his 24th glass of brandy of the past half hour.

“I’m most sorry to hear that, sir,” Athelstan brought Renfield another glass of brandy, “Weren’t there any world leaders that spoke in your favour?”.

“Only King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan,” Renfield answered.

“I always admired King Abdullah and Queen Rania,” said Athelstan.

“Most intelligent people do,” Renfield answered.

“How does Boris Johnson feel about this?” Athelstan inquired.

“Hard to say,” Renfield downed his 25th glass of brandy, “Apparently Boris Johnson and his partner Carrie Symonds had a violent argument over the matter last night. Neighbours called police when they heard the commotion. Carrie Symonds told Johnson that he should tell Donald Trump, Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Emmanuel Macron to go fuck themselves along with the members of Britain’s deep dark state. Johnson apparently spilled red wine all over her sofa in response causing the ghost of Orson Welles to weep uncontrollably when he saw it happen.”

. . .

Allatallahbel the vampiress priestess of Baal had marked the morning of the summer solstice by performing human sacrifices in the catacombs below the Vatican.

Pope Francis awakened by the screams had spent the morning pondering what the French Jesuit theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin had thought of ETs (extraterrestrials) and whether he had written anything on the subject in his numerous writings.

. . .

Ares the Greek god of war, who had spent the night before celebrating with John Bolton and Mike Pompeo over the possibility of war with Iran, had spent all day today drowning his sorrows after Trump called off military action.

Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom on the other hand was very relieved.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 21st
2019.

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Qonzilqointec Encounters Neo-Nazi Billionaire In Dubai

June 13, 2019 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


Wearing protective sunblock invented for her by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was walking the streets of Dubai.

After touring Dubai’s extensive fashion district, she went to have lunch in a restaurant atop one of the city’s sky scraping towers.

It was while she was having lunch that she recognized the Havana-based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike sitting in the very same restaurant.

Robur Pike who called himself Robur The Conquerer II flew around in a giant propeller powered airship called The Albatross II.

Robur Pike had been genetically cloned from locks of hair belonging to Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike (a high-ranking Scottish Rite Freemason, Lucifer worshipper, racist and Ku Klux Klansman) in a Knoxville, Tennessee genetics laboratory back in 1966 by a Nazi scientist Dr. Eckhart Fromm who had been brought to the United States through Operation Paperclip.

Robur Pike lived in Havana, Cuba (due to the huge financial donations he ironically gave the Cuban Communist Party) because that was the city his DNA father Albert Pike envisioned as the capital of a vast slave empire that would include not only the Confederate States of America but also Mexico and various Central American and Caribbean states as well as the South American nation of Brazil.

Various wealthy landowners in Mexico, Central America and Brazil as well as generals in those nations’ armies sympathetic to the cause were prepared to throw their support behind the Confederacy and send troops and soldiers north in support of the Confederacy to battle the Union Army.

The plan fell apart in a meeting in 1864 between Jefferson Davis (President of the Confederate States of America), Albert Pike and Robert E. Lee.

Lee who had only assumed command in the Confederate Army because his beloved home region of northern Virginia had voted to join the Confederacy was opposed to the plan.

Lee, a devout Christian, had become personally an abolitionist over time and while he supported the right of the southern states to secede (something that was actually granted in the U.S. Constitution), he personally thought the Confederacy would have to come to abolish slavery itself because he became convinced that no modern nation could be built on such an abhorrent institution.

Lee told Davis that if the Confederate President backed the Pike Plan, he Lee would join the Union Army.

The plan fell apart.

And Pike (the founder of the Knights of the Golden Circle the Masonic paramilitary group that backed the idea of an intercontinental slave empire of the Americas) never forgave Lee.

But disciples of the Devil can have the last laugh for a while in history.

Beginning in 2015, the brainless anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa sought to have statues of Robert E. Lee torn down throughout the south with their efforts being applauded by brainless liberal allies in the U.S. news media and brainless liberal U.S. politicians.

Totally oblivious to the fact that Lee had in fact saved the Union through his rejection of the Pike Plan.

But such is the attitude of a narcissistic nation that had in 2016 elected a narcissistic President.

For even most U.S. historians (including those at Harvard and Yale) were unaware of Pike’s plan.

A Master’s Degree History student from Brazil who was researching the papers of powerful Brazilian families and generals from the 19th Century knew about the Pike, Davis and Lee meeting.

But since American academia seemed to ignore the role that other world powers tried to play in the U.S. Civil War, such efforts being undertaken outside the U.S. did not fall under their radar.

And Lee had his statues taken down.

And Lee’s Battle Flag of Northern Virginia was adopted as the symbol of segregation by the Ku Klux Klux only in the 1950s.

The so-called Confederate Flag as it was called by brainless northern liberals never was the flag of the Confederate States of America but was in fact Lee’s battle flag for northern Virginia.

But Lee would come to be regarded with opprobrium in 21st Century America while Pike’s statue would continue to stand in Washington DC and Pike would be regarded as a respected Scottish Rite Freemasonic authority the author of the standard Freemasonic text Morals and Dogma.

Qonzilqointec got a text message from British MP Renfield R. Renfield as she gazed over at Pike.

Renfield wondered with Qonzilqointec being over in Dubai, if she’d keep her eyes and ears open as to who might be responsible for today’s attacks on two oil tankers in the Gulf of Oman.

Renfield said he couldn’t put much stock in U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s statement that Iran was responsible for the “unprovoked attacks” because as Renfield put it, “He would say that wouldn’t he?”.

A month earlier, 4 oil tankers were slightly damaged in an unclaimed attack off the United Arab Emirates.

The U.S. had blamed Iran for those attacks as well.

Qonzilqointec mentioned to Renfield that Pike was in Dubai and the attack on the Japanese owned Kokuka Courageous and Norwegian owned Front Altair oil tankers were the sort of dirty shenanigans he might be involved in.

“That is interesting,” Renfield sipped his 12 year old single malt highland whisky as he texted, “I wonder who Robur might be working for? The Iranians, the U.S. or in one of those twisted ironies of history, the Israelis? Since it’s an open geopolitical secret that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu would like nothing less than a U.S. war of regime change coming to Iran.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Thursday June 13th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec and The Statue of A Long-Necked Crane

June 8, 2019 at 9:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec and The Statue of A Long-Necked Crane

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in a room in the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

Dressed in an exquisite lilac purple evening gown, Qonzilqointec knelt on a neo-Louis XIV royal Bourbon blue chair alongside a modern statue of a long-necked crane raising its beak towards a lantern of good fortune.

Into the room walked her friend and lover the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

He had just returned from Jerusalem Israel where he had escorted Miranda Singh (the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) who was beginning a top secret mission for British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Your Highness,” Dracul addressed the Aztec vampiress, “you look the epitome of regal royalty.”

Qonzilqointec smiled, “Those weren’t the words Donald Trump spoke when I lay on his neck and threatened to drain every ounce of blood from his body unless he decided to drop the tariffs he was threatening to impose on my homeland of Mexico.”

“I see you were successful in your negotiations,” Dracul noted, “The U.S. has reached an agreement with Mexico and will not be imposing the tariffs Trump had threatened to impose starting this Monday.”

“Having lived 600 years, I have mastered the art of the deal,” She approached Dracul and gave him a non-fatal hickey.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles was having a spectral dream.

He dreamed of his wife Rita Hayworth as Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon speaking to a bird who was a parrot-raven hybrid created by a 1930s mad scientist forerunner of an early 21st Century Transhumanist scientist.

Said Rita as Semiramis to the parrot-raven hybrid,

“Oh bird who spoke to Poe in the bleak December
Crossed with a bird who can’t shut up and is able to remember 
The world is confused and troubled 
And about to burst an economic bubble 
Putin warns of a new arms race
Stretching from sea to outer space 
Because on arms control, the U.S. won’t negotiate 
Preferring to leave humanity’s hands up to a very dark fate
“Nevermore” you might cry
As peace dove falls from the sky 
Lenore is lost but so are we all 
The end result of Eden’s fall.

-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Saturday June 8th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec Plots Against Trump Tariffs

May 31, 2019 at 10:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was not happy with the tariffs Trump might levy on Mexico

The stock market fell at the news that Donald Trump might levy tariffs on Mexico if Mexico did not stop Central American immigrants from nearing the U.S.-Mexico border.

“Something must be done,” Qonzilqointec said to British MP Renfield R. Renfield over the phone.

“What did you have in mind?” Renfield asked.

“Well Trump will be in Britain for a state visit next week,” the Aztec vampiress pounded her fist on the desk, “I shall fly to Britain and we shall see what will be done.”

“I shall love to see the results,” Renfield smiled as he loved observing the outcome of a vampiress scorned.

“Strange,” Trump spoke to his aide as he woke up from his nap.

“What is it?” His aide asked.

“I had a dream where my name appeared on the cover of a book titled The Art of Making An Involuntary Blood Transfusion,” Trump seemed surprised.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 31st
2019.

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Roast Basilisk In Hell’s Kitchen

April 19, 2019 at 10:43 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing flying the winged horse Pegasus had won the showdown in the Libyan desert with the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone and his rider the dark arts practicing Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai this past Wednesday.

The ghost of Howard Cosell had been on the scene doing commentary for the underworld based Baphomet Broadcasting Network until he succumbed to spectral laryngitis.

Qonzilqointec had doused the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone with Odour of Weasel Perfume sending the genetically recreated satanic beast plunging to its death in the desert sands.

The evil Jesuit Father Caiaphas bar Yochai had survived the fall due to the combination of basilisk venom and extra strong Starbucks dark roasted coffee he had imbibed prior to combat.

The evil priest was not to get off scott free however for Dracul Van Helsing had used the Sword of Saint George to stab the Baphomet worshipping cleric in his phallus.

After Dwayne the Rock Johnson arrived on the scene to declare Qonzilqointec and Dracul the winners, the couple flew off to the Queen Cleopatra Hotel in Alexandria where they spent an evening of tantric sex together.

Star Wars Star Troopers had arrived from Set Enterprises in London to return the basilisk’s body to Britain.

Father Caiaphas bar Yochai managed to catch an Uber ride with an Islamic State terrorist to Paris, France.

There the now swordless Jesuit looked up the ancient Egyptian vampiress Isis since she had previous experience in creating wooden phalluses having created one for her husband Osiris since that was the one part of his 14 missing body parts (after he was dismembered by their brother Set) that she was unable to find.

The American Jesuit priest Father James J. Martin SJ held a Requiem Mass for Father Caiaphas’ fleshly phallus as he had rather fond memories of it.

The basilisk’s body was delivered to Chef Gordon Ramsay and some of his previous winners on the TV program Hell’s Kitchen.

The Rothschilds and some of their business associates were holding a buffet luncheon dinner this Good Friday in London and thought roast basilisk would be just the thing.

Chef Gordon Ramsay and his Hell’s Kitchen crew were brought in to prepare it.

“It tastes like chicken,” one of the Rothschild associates remarked.

“That’s because basilisk is part rooster as well as part serpent,” Chef Gordon Ramsay explained.

Meanwhile the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was worried whether his company would face a law suit as his company’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was responsible for creating this basilisk that caused the fire at Notre Dame this past Monday April 15th 2019 when the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone (driven by the evil Father Caiaphas bar Yochai) breathed venomous fire on repair scaffolding at the cathedral.

However no one on the Paris scene suspected a basilisk as basilisks really hadn’t been around for the past 500 years until Dr. Cadbury Rocher recreated one.

Meanwhile over in France, the ancient Greek god Zeus was having a meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron.

“Monsieur le Presidente,” Zeus spoke impeccable French as he had spent the greater part of the Age of Louis XIV deflowering the loveliest of the French courtesans before the Sun King had the chance to do so, “you may not know this but Notre Dame was built over the site of a Temple of Jupiter. Jupiter was of course the name under which the ancient Romans worshipped me. So I was wondering if you could place a replica of my altar at Pergamum at the top of the new Notre Dame where the old spire and Cross used to be before it collapsed in the towering inferno.”

President Macron, who was busy mentally calculating the age of Zeus’ wife Hera and figuring that she must still be a pretty good looking woman judging from her statues, replied, “Why don’t we discuss this over souvlaki and ouzo?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 19th
2019.


The Greek goddess Hera: Still an extremely good looking woman

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Renfield Vs. Crowley Idolizing Jesuits: Vengeance For The Basilisk Attack On Notre Dame

April 16, 2019 at 9:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

After Dr. Cadbury Rocher was handed over to his great-grandmother the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to get his buns tomatoed for genetically creating the basilisk that caused the fire that engulfed Notre Dame, Renfield was busy tracking down the Aleister Crowley admiring Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai the dark arts practicing sorcerer who flew the basilisk named Basilisk Wrathsbone that set fire to repair scaffolding at Notre Dame with his fiery venomous breath.

Father Caiaphas worked in the Antiquities Section of the Vatican Museum, headed the Rome chapter of the O.T.O. (Ordo Templi Orientis) and served as an advisor on papal liturgies for the Mass to Pope Francis.

Renfield found out in between blood curdling screams screamed by Dr. Rocher in Sherrielock’s dungeon below the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion that the odour of the weasel was apparently fatal to the basilisk.

Renfield bought a bottle of Odour of Weasel Perfume from a discount drug store in London’s Soho district.

He went down to Set Enterprises laboratory and got Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to visualize the current location of the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone.

The Baphomet worshipping Jesuit Father Caiaphas bar Yochai had apparently flown the basilisk to Libya for safety after the disastrous choice he made in getting the basilisk to set fire to Notre Dame with its fiery venomous breath.

The basilisk was a big hit with some of the Islamist terrorist militants there who shouted “Allah akbar!” when Notre Dame went up in flames.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had volunteered to fight the basilisk and Father Caiaphas.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul had flown to Amman Jordan to meet Pegasus the winged horse (also genetically recreated by Dr. Cadbury Rocher) who would be their steed in battling the evil basilisk and its evil Jesuit rider.

Pegasus was currently owned by Queen Rania of Jordan.

Aztec vampiress and Canadian slayer returned to London on Pegasus.

There the Aztec vampiress picked up the bottle of Odour of Weasel Perfume from Renfield to slay the evil basilisk and Dracul picked up the authentic sword of Saint George the Dragonslayer from The Old Curiosity Shop (of Dickensonian fame) to slay the evil Jesuit.

Then they were off to Libya for the final showdown.


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec: With a small bottle of Odour of Weasel Perfume in her purse, she’s off to Libya on Pegasus to slay the evil basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 16th
2019.

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Renfield Muses On The Mueller Report

March 25, 2019 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had left the House of Commons while fisticuffs and wrestling matches over Brexit were still going on.

British Prime Minister Theresa May had former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson in a headlock and British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was having his balls crushed by members of the Democratic Ulster Party.

Renfield joined his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont for dinner in a nearby restaurant.

As Renfield and Angelique already had both dessert and then coffee while Amadeus was now working on his 33rd plate of the All You Can Eat Fish and Chips Special, the chef and the owner were both down on their knees saying their Hail Marys that the concert pianist’s ravenous appetite would soon come to an end.

“So,” Amadeus sipped on his iced tea, “what’s your reaction to the Mueller Report?”.

“Well, it should come as no surprise to intelligent people that there was no collusion between the Russians and the Trump campaign,” Renfield slowly worked on his third post-dinner and dessert cup of coffee, “as intelligent people realize that Vladimir Putin is too intelligent a man to have his intelligence agencies co-operate and work with a disaster in the making like Donald Trump. That fact was of course totally lost on the New York Times, The Washington Post and most Congressional Democrats. But then of course it would be.”

“I noticed the Mueller Report did not give a definite statement one way or the other on whether Donald Trump obstructed justice,” Angelique noted.

“No, I suppose a legal opinion will have to be formulated on whether or not being an idiot constitutes obstruction of justice,” Renfield leaned back in his seat, “The question did not have to be addressed previously in American history because no one like Donald Trump had ever occupied the White House before.”

“What does this portend for the future?” Amadeus asked as he was trying to decide between eating his piece of halibut or his piece of cod next.

“Well, it does bode well for Trump,” Renfield said, “given the New York Times and Washington Post track record. Both papers said there was no way Trump would win the 2016 election. When he did, both papers’ editorial boards tried to explain away their colossal error in judgment by blaming Trump’s victory on the Russians. Now that Mueller has shot a hole in that theory leaving both The Times and The Post with egg on their faces (causing vegan subscribers to both papers to cancel their subscriptions over the outrageous use of poultry byproducts), they will no doubt continue to insist that there’s no way Trump can win re-election. Which should be good news for Trump.”

“What will this mean for the world stage?” Angelique asked.

“Well, the Nicolas Maduro regime in Venezuela can probably breathe a sigh of relief,” Renfield answered, “as there probably won’t be any U.S. military intervention in Venezuela in the near future. Which would have been the case had Mueller found any criminal wrongdoing on Trump’s part. Trump would then have done what any U.S. President had done in the past when faced with a major political scandal at home and that is to start a war abroad in order to divert the electorate’s attention and get people to rally around the flag and rally around the President as the bearer of the flag. Venezuela being the closest place to intervene would have been Trump’s first choice. An added benefit as well since the body bags wouldn’t have so far to fly home.”

“So does this mean peace on the world stage?” Amadeus waved to the waiter to order another plate of fish and chips.

“Sadly no,” Renfield shook his head, “The situation in the Middle East could blow sky high at any moment. There was already a Hamas rocket attack on a suburb of Tel Aviv overnight. And the Israeli Air Force are currently bombing Gaza in retaliation. Syria, Iran and Russia may decide to do something about the Golan Heights situation in response to Trump recognizing Israeli sovereignty over the area. There are all sorts of fuses that could go off over there.”


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec during a raging sea storm on the Isle of Patmos (site of the Apostle Saint John’s vision of the Apocalypse)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 25th
2019.

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Kraken Uhluhtc Causes Venezuela Electrical Blackout

March 11, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was sitting in her Mexico City penthouse apartment having a long distance phone conversation discussing the crisis in Venezuela with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Do you have any idea what’s causing this massive electricity and power blackout that’s been going on in Venezuela since last Thursday?” Renfield asked.

Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and the U.S. government had both been blaming the other for causing the blackout.

“My sources tell me it’s Uhluhtc that’s causing the problem,” Qonzilqointec answered.

“And who’s Uhluhtc?” Renfield helped himself to a dish of calamari in front of him.

“Uhluhtc is a kraken that recently rose from the bottom of the Caribbean Sea a couple of years ago,” Qonzilqointec answered.

“I see,” Renfield added some Jamaican Hot Sauce to his calamari, “and what caused him to rise?”.

“North Korean leader Kim Jong-un reading aloud a passage from a medieval Korean edition of The Necronomicon by radio and loudspeaker to a North Korean ship named The Red Scorpion that was sailing in the Caribbean at the time,” the Aztec vampire princess replied.

“Really?” Renfield helped himself to some Korean dumplings and fried scorpion, “Interesting how this information is sort of forming a Jungian synchronicity with what I’m having on my lunchtime menu.”

“One of my drones spotted Uhluhtc attacking electrical transformers throughout Venezuela,” Qonzilqointec added.

“Any idea why he’s doing this?” Renfield found a toy figure of Godzilla as the prize in his box of children’s cereal.

“None whatsoever,” Qonzilqointec smoothed her dress and watched another one of her carrier pigeon shaped drones returning.

. . .

Donald Trump was receiving a briefing from the National Security Agency as his English butler and valet Lexington poured tea.

“Um, is it appropriate for him to be here?” The NSA operative pointed towards Lexington.

“That’s all right,” Trump shrugged, “he’s got high level security clearance.”

“Your English butler and valet has high-level security clearance?” The NSA operative was astounded.

“Hey,” Trump helped himself to a hot buttered crumpet, “if I can get high-level security clearance for my daughter and my son-in-law, I can get high-level security clearance for my English butler and valet.”

“Fuck everybody and let’s build a Trump casino in Moscow. Fuck everybody and let’s build a Trump casino in Moscow,” Trump’s pet Norwegian blue parrot squawked from inside his cage.

Trump was currently working on getting high-level security clearance for his parrot.

“Anyways we wiretapped a conversation New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently had in a Washington DC restaurant with Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change,” the NSA operative explained.

“Bully for you, we need surveillance to find out what these Communist saboteurs are up to,” Trump accidentally pushed the Record button on his Huawei smart phone.

“They were discussing the Green New Deal,” the NSA operative said.

“I noticed,” Trump remarked as he drank his cup of Earl Grey Tea, “that even British MP Renfield R. Renfield who supports AOC’S plans for a single user pay national public health care system says that AOC “is out to lunch like most leftists are” when it comes to the subject of climate change.”

“Anyhow the Department of Homeland Security recently uncovered frightening information with regards to Lev Tomi,” the NSA operative read from his briefs as he dressed down to his briefs since it was rather hot in the Oval Office.

“And what was that?” Trump seeing the NSA operative dressed down to his briefs brought back memories of last year’s private one-on-one encounter with Vladimir Putin in which no aides nor translators were present.

“That Lev Tomi is in fact a vampire,” the NSA operative’s glasses steamed up, “and in his mortal life had been the Russian Communist Revolutionary Leon Trotsky. Trotsky did not die on the night of August 20th/21st 1940 succumbing to his ice axe wounds delivered by a Stalinist NKVD assassin as the history books teach us. Instead he was turned into a vampire by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.”

“Aztec?” Trump felt a sudden craving for enchiladas, “They’re Mexican aren’t they?”.

“That is correct,” the NSA operative answered.

“Then I’m right to build that damned wall,” Trump pounded his fist on his desk.

“Begging your pardon, sir,” Lexington removed the Gloucester cheese from the table, “but if this Qonzilqointec is a vampiress, then she can just turn into a vampire bat and fly over the wall.”

“What a bummer,” Trump grimaced.

“That’s exactly what Putin said to me afterwards,” squawked the parrot, “that’s exactly what Putin said to me afterwards.”

. . .

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing thought back to the 1941 film Sundown with Gene Tierney and George Sanders that he had been watching for the first time on YouTube early Sunday morning when his BBC app sounded a five second long musical note indicating a breaking news bulletin.

That was when he first heard about the tragic Ethiopian Airlines plane crash from Addis Ababa Ethiopia to Nairobi Kenya that had killed all 157 people on board.

Today after watching the news he found out that 18 Canadians had been aboard the plane including a Carleton University professor from Ottawa, a family of six from Brampton Ontario, an environmentalist from Winnipeg Manitoba and a young mother from Edmonton Alberta along with her 5-year-old daughter.

There was also an assistant pastor from the City of Calgary (who also worked as an accountant at Calgary City Hall) killed- a man that Dracul Van Helsing had personally met on one occasion.

In another connection to the City of Calgary, the pilot of the plane had an aunt who lived in Calgary.

In this interconnected world of the 21st Century, tragedy now connected all corners of the globe.


Gene Tierney in the movie Sundown 1941.
A movie that was set in the border region between Kenya and Ethiopia.
A movie that had as its premise the importance of Africa to world geopolitics and how Africa served as the pivotal point of the interconnectivity of the world.
It was while watching this film, a breaking BBC News bulletin on a tablet app showed that the premise still held true in the year 2019.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 11th
2019.

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Saint Valentine’s Day 2019

February 14, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had come up with yet another plan to bump off Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

He had co-ordinated the plan with the ghosts of Orson Welles and Sir Winston Churchill along with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Before explaining the plan to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield pointed out the dangers of getting Maduro out of office with the help of a U.S. invasion of Venezuela or an American planned overthrow.

“As we know both being acute students of history,” Renfield explained, “America’s unique talent and gift to the world is its ability to make a country worse off than it was when it lived under a brutal dictator. This actually is a unique bit of creativity unsurpassed in the history of human stupidity. That disaster we call George W. Bush (aided and abetted by that disaster Tony Blair – an Englishman who fancied himself a French poodle to a former Texas governor) invaded Iraq to topple Saddam and succeeded in that but then plunged the country into years of sectarian violence and bloodshed that continues today. Those disasters we call Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton thought they could get Syria’s Bashar al-Assad out of power by encouraging the Syrian people and part of the Syrian Armed Forces to rise up in revolt against Assad. The result has been 8 years of bloody civil war which is still ongoing, Assad is still in power and if Vladimir Putin and the Iranians hadn’t intervened, large portions of Syria would still be under the control of the ISIS Islamic State. And then of course that disaster we call Bill Clinton ordering the NATO bombing of Serbia from March 24th 1999 to June 10th 1999 helped pave the way for Vladimir Putin to come to power in Russia. Then Russian President Boris Yeltsin was so upset by the way Bill “He couldn’t keep it in his pants” Clinton treated Russia’s long standing ally Serbia that Yeltsin spent the entire spring and summer of 1999 hiring and firing new Prime Ministers until Yeltsin finally decided on Putin as his Prime Minister in August 1999 and then named Putin his successor as President on December 31st 1999. So Bill in effect screwed his wife Hillary twice. Once when they had Chelsea and secondly when he bombed Serbia thus paving the way for Putin to take power in Russia which if we are to believe the whining and sniveling of the New York Times, The Washington Post and the Deep State within the U.S. government is the man ultimately responsible for Hillary’s defeat in 2016.”

“Karma’s returning to bite one in the ass always happens eventually,” Van Helsing acknowledged.

“So you see how it’s absolutely vital that a British Transhumanist MP such as myself working in concert with the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill and Orson Welles do something to get Maduro out of power before the Americans try anything stupid,” Renfield pointed out.

“Time is indeed of the essence,” Dracul looked at his Latin numerals sundial wristwatch until he remembered it didn’t work indoors.

“So I want you to go over to the gymnasium at the Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium Building and start to set things in motion with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and by set things in motion,” Renfield admonished, “I don’t mean tantric sex with her.”

“Damn,” Dracul swore.

. . .

“So Lexington,” Donald Trump addressed his British butler and valet, “I gave Nancy Pelosi a Valentine’s Day present this year.

“That’s very kind of you, sir,” Lexington took off the Donald’s jacket.

“As you know today is the 90th Anniversary of Al Capone giving a Valentine’s Day present to Bugs Moran in a garage and warehouse in Chicago so I thought I’d do the same for Nancy,” Trump smiled.

Earlier that evening a group of Democratic Party supporters had gathered to sacrifice a new born baby to Baal/Moloch at a garage and warehouse in Washington DC.

Despite the best efforts of the hospital to ensure the baby wouldn’t survive birth, the baby managed to survive.

It was a health care debacle that would have provided existential angst to the likes of New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam.

Double angst for Gov. Northam as the baby was an Afro-American.

Although probably double angst for Gov. Cuomo as well but since northern white liberals do a much better job at hiding their racism than their southern white liberal counterparts, you wouldn’t have noticed the look of disappointment on the face of Mario’s son.

The baby was smuggled into the ceremony by a large “reproductive health” (as they euphemistically call themselves) provider to be sacrificed to Baal/Moloch for this evening’s ritual.

Outside the warehouse a group of Mammon and Mephistopheles worshipping Republicans (all members of the National Rife Association and vitriolic opponents of a nationally publicly funded single pay user health care system) stood ready to burst in on the pro-infanticide Baal and Baphomet worshipping Party of Death Democrats.

The signal was given.

And the NRA members went in with guns ablazing.

Soon all the Party of Death Democrats were dead.

Santa Muerte who had been at the ceremony eating enchiladas looked sad.

Miraculously the baby girl (who was to be sacrificed) managed to survive.

She was found by a traditionalist Catholic nun who had been walking in the neighbourhood.

Earlier in the day, the nun had been personally excommunicated by Pope Francis.

Now like George Eliot’s Silas Marner, she had found true gold.

. . .

On his way to the warehouse gymnasium at Set Enterprises, Dracul Van Helsing passed Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was crawling on his way towards Sherrielock Holmes’ office and carrying a large bouquet of roses in his lobster claws.

Dracul entered the gym and there saw Qonzilqointec:

And within minutes the gym was heating up with steam from the Valentine’s Day tantric sex between vampire hunter and vampire princess.

. . .

Amadeus Emanon was attending a Saint Valentine’s Night Evening Prayer service at Saint Genevieve’s Church- the Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish that he attended.

Delivering a short homily at the service was the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who was one of the Church of England’s leading exorcists.

“Saint Valentine,” Father Aidan noted, “was a Catholic priest who lived and worked in Rome in an age of severe persecutions. The Emperor Claudius II had ordered that Roman soldiers should not be allowed to marry so they could concentrate on war without a double mind. For that reason, the soldiers began living promiscuous lives. Saint Valentine ordered soldiers in his congregation to marry and he began wedding them secretly. For that reason, he was caught, imprisoned and executed on the 14th of February 270 AD.”

“Wow,” Amadeus thought to himself as he reached stealthily into his pocket to grab and eat a stick of licorice, “So there was no Cupid with bow and arrow in the original Saint Valentine story.”


Betty Grable as a female Cupid in a photo taken back in the 1940s.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 14th
2019

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