Mephistopheles and Baal Outside Jerusalem

April 4, 2021 at 10:03 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

On a hilltop outside Jerusalem almost 2000 years ago.

“He seems to have risen from the dead,” Baal remarked wistfully.

“This wasn’t exactly part of our plans,” Mephistopheles replied.

“Who’s going to tell him?” Baal spoke of His Most Luciferic and Satanic Majesty.

“Let’s see who draws the shortest straw,” Mephistopheles walked over to a camel carrying a pile of straw on his back.

“Who will draw the straw first?” Baal asked.

“Age before beauty,” Mephistopheles bowed and stepped aside leaving Baal to do the initial honours.

Baal drew a straw.

“Now, my turn,” Mephistopheles drew a straw.

The camel fell down and writhed in agony after Mephistopheles drew a straw.

“That appears to be the straw that broke the camel’s back,” Mephistopheles remarked.

“Trying to coin a new saying are you?” Baal was sarcastic as he looked at the two straws in comparison and then uttered “Shit!”.

Beelzebub (whose name meant “Lord of the Flies” but was really just a nice way of saying “Lord of The Dung Heap”) arrived on the scene after Baal said “Shit!” thinking that Baal had called him.

“I got the short end of the straw,” said Baal and handed the short straw to Beelzebub.

“What do you want me to do with this?” Beelzebub asked.

“Take it to our lord,” Baal said in reference to His Most Luciferic and Satanic Majesty, “and tell him that He (Christ the enemy of the fallen angels and the demons) has risen from the dead.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Easter Sunday
Sunday April 4th
2021.

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Marxist Mingling of Voldemort and Baphomet

June 10, 2020 at 10:43 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received an email from Set Enterprises’ newest employee the eccentric self-proclaimed alchemist Dr. Marmalade Montague formerly of Paris.

In it, Dr. Marmalade Montague had made the claim that an evil German alchemist Dr. Wilhelm Das Tore the former CEO of Fenster Software was trying to alchemically mingle the two separate entities Voldemort and Baphomet together.

“There might actually be something to Dr. Montague’s assertion,” Renfield reflected.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had received reports that Marxists, Maoists, Trotskyites and anarchists as well as Baal and Baphomet worshippers were trying to infiltrate the Black Lives Matter movement and use it for their own nefarious purposes.

An example of this happened in Mexico this past Monday June 8th when Baal and Baphomet worshipping anarchists attacked the Cathedral of Xalapa in the Mexican state of Veracruz and the Expiatory Temple of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

The buildings were vandalized and spray painted with satanic graffiti.

The vandalism started out as what was supposed to be a peaceful protest against police brutality in sympathy with protests in the U.S.

Of course Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxists were on the warpath on behalf of Baal and Baphomet as well.

Actors and actresses, particularly those of the millennial and gen X variety, were stringent Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxists.

A group that Renfield called the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet (because of their fondness for appropriating letters of the alphabet for themselves) envisioned an Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxist global atheistic secular state ruling the world.

But this Marxist atheistic secular global state that the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet envisioned would have a secularized form of the old ancient Hindu caste system with they the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet as the secularized form of the Brahmin caste with traditional Catholics and Bible believing Evangelical Protestants becoming the secularized form of the Dalit caste or the untouchables.

And it would be they the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet who would be the ultimate arbiters of language and particularly pronouns.

If someone used a pronoun to describe someone that the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet did not like, they would be subject to abuse and ridicule on social media and jail terms, fines and imprisonment in real life.

The Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet claimed to be about equality but really they were about superiority- for themselves.

As Renfield was writing up a dossier on all this, he reflected to himself, “It’s rather ironic that most of these Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet claim to be following basic science when it comes to Climate Change (the Greta Thunberg hypothesis of climate change that is which is asserted to be scientific dogma) but fail miserably at Science when it comes to basic principles of Biology and human anatomy.”

Writer J.K. Rowling had recently come afoul of Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxist SJWs (and that did not stand for single Jehovah’s Witnesses – those who were unmarried and thus not getting a constant piece of tail which at least might explain their idiotic pronouncements).

J.K. Rowling had tweeted the George Orwell character Winston Smith equivalent of saying that 2 + 2 = 4.

She was immediately jumped upon by various actors and actresses from the Harry Potter series of movies (people like Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and others) who immediately tweeted and asserted in the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet equivalent of Orwellian Doublespeak that 2 +2 = 5.

“Yes, there’s definitely something to Dr. Marmalade Montague’s assertion that an alchemical mingling of Voldemort and Baphomet is unfolding along with a universe of chaos,” Renfield thought, “Voldemort is back, united with Baphomet and he seems to have the entire student population of Hogwart’s on his side.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 10th
2020.


Mirabella Francesca Franconia: Renfield R. Renfield’s Executive Assistant on the lookout for disciples of an alchemically mingled Voldemort and Baphomet

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Saint George and The Dragon

April 23, 2020 at 10:48 pm (History, Literature, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Saint George and The Dragon

There is an old tradition in the Greek Orthodox Church 
that angels could fall until the 1st Coming of Christ 
By Christ’s 1st Coming, the choices they made would then be their eternal decision and destination forever more.
Just as for mortal humans, they have until the moment of their own death or until Christ’s 2nd Coming (whatever comes first) to decide their eternal fate

And so even though Lucifer and a large portion of the angels fell in a Cosmic rebellion against the Creator of the Cosmos
Yet other angels fell afterwards 
Until Christ’s 1st Coming.

And so it was that a Watcher angel called Semjaza 
landed with 199 other Watcher angels 
on Mount Hermon 
on what is today the Israel-Lebanon-Syria border region 

They saw that the daughters of men were fair 
(Unlike today where a lot of the daughters of men are quite repulsively ugly and require a Pan Goatee to bump them off in order to restore Earth’s aesthetic balance)
And desired to mate with them

Semjaza got the other 199 to swear an oath upon Mount Hermon 
That he wouldn’t be the only one to participate in this angelic sin of mating with human women 

In addition to mating with mortal women
Semjaza also made out with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith
And she gave birth to Azazel

Azazel son of Semjaza and Lilith
Became the leader of the Watchers and the Nephilim
And taught humanity both war and witchcraft 

Later Azazel was bound hand and foot by the Archangel Raphael
And chained to the rough and jagged rocks of Dudael
which is east of Jerusalem 

But before that happened Azazel along with other Watcher angels and Nephilim
were engaging in genetic experiments and tampering with DNA of different species 
(As Christ said, “Behold as it was in the days of Noah, so it shall be at the Coming of the Son of Man”)

Azazel took a fossilized skull of an old T-Rex 
The fossilized body, wings and legs of a pterodactyl
The poisonous venom of a Basilisk
And the ability to breathe fire like from the mouth of the Middle Kingdom Phoenix bird (or Chinese Phoenix)
Put them together 
And created a hybrid monster of all those species 

Azazel threw this monster into the sea waters off Lebanon
Where it mainly fed on marine life
By the 200s AD however the dragon (for that is what it resembled most in appearance) was sunning itself on the beach when a mortal human maiden approached 
It ate her and developed a penchant for female human flesh 
So people up and down the coasts of Lebanon
Were forced to give their young females to the dragon as a sacrifice 
to prevent the dragon from running amuck 
And breathing fire down on their towns and villages 

A young woman called Sabra 
then found herself chained to a rock 
Awaiting the approach of the dragon 
one fine day in the late 290s AD

A young Roman soldier called George 
came along riding a white horse 
And slew the Dragon with his sword 
when it approached Sabra

George himself was later slain by the Roman Emperor Diocletian (a human that was very much in personality like a demonic dragon) 
for refusing to renounce his Christian faith

The death of George occurred on April 23rd 303 AD 
in Nicomedia 
The capital of ancient Bithynia 
Which later served as an interim capital 
for Constantine the Great 
while the city of Byzantium was being rebuilt and later became Constantinople.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 23rd 
2020.

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Pope Francis Opens Synod On Sex Abuse By Putting Foot In His Mouth

February 20, 2019 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Philosophy, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

This was the opening of the Vatican special synod on sex abuse.

The demons Baal and Baphomet sat in the chamber as special theological advisors to the body.

Pope Francis opened the synod by angrily waving his finger in the air and pontificating in Josef Stalinesque fashion, “Those who do nothing but criticize, criticize, criticize, criticize and further criticize the Church are friends of the Devil.”

Baphomet looked concernedly at Baal over these words.

Baal smiled reassuringly as he helped himself to a large tin of fresh unborn babies, “I think the Devil that the Unholy Father is referring to is the same Devil that the 19th Century French sorcerer Eliphas Levi referred to in his 1860 book The History of Magic and the Scottish Rite Freemasonic occultist Albert Pike referred to in his 1872 work Morals and Dogma which is the Devil is Adonai (the God of the Hebrews). Adonai and Lucifer are both God. Adonai is the dark evil side of God. And Lucifer is the lightbearing side of God.”

“That makes sense,” Baphomet tried to remain calm for the male/female human goat demon transgendered hybrid was having a bad day.

His/her breasts were lactating, his/her female genitalia was undergoing her period and his/her male genitalia kept undergoing premature ejaculations every 5 minutes.

In many ways, Baphomet’s current state was almost symbolic of the entire U.S. Democratic Party- the vast majority of whose members either knowingly or unknowingly worshipped the transgendered human goat demon hybrid.

As for Baal and Baphomet’s demonic rivals Mammon and Mephistopheles (either knowingly or unknowingly worshipped by the vast majority of U.S. Republicans), they were in the White House wondering how to get Trump out of the Oval Office and their own man Jared Kushner in.

As Pope Francis lambasted his critics for daring to criticize him and calling them “Friends of the Devil” (who may or may not be Adonai depending upon whether one is a practicing occultist or not), a group of victims of priestly sex abuse shivered in the cold out in Saint Peter’s Square wondering whether Francis would bother to meet with them.

He did not.

And Jorge Mario Bergoglio (who was anything but a true Vicar of Christ) continued to pave his way towards eventually winning the Ecclesiastical Asshole of The Millennium Award.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Wednesday February 20th
2019.


Pan: The Father of Baphomet who was turned to stone by the head of Medusa as he lay dying.
The stoned Pan now lies in the Vatican.

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Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

October 3, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

At the Vatican in Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was still in heavenly bliss after spending a night making out with the Vampiress Allatallahbel’s astral body twin double the succubus Asherah who was wearing a sexy nun’s outfit of veil, short skirted habit mini dress and black silk pantyhose.

Pope Francis was still vomiting 🤮 Gadarene pigs’ feet.

He got a Get Well card from Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy which gave him a recipe for a Korean pork dish with the inscription, “Try this. Korean pork is a lot healthier and less demonically possessed than Gadarene pork.”

At Brisbane in Australia 🇦🇺 meanwhile the pervert friendly and demon worshipping Roman Catholic Archbishop Mark Coleridge was having a dream where he was dressed as an ancient mariner and slaying albatrosses with a cross bow left, right and center.

A group of angry sailors angry that their ship had crashed on the rock as a result of Archbishop Coleridge slaying so many albatrosses ripped the gold pectoral Cross off from around his neck and put a necklace of albatrosses around his neck.

The Archbishop’s gods Baal and Baphomet appeared to him and said they actually preferred the necklace of albatrosses around his neck rather than the Cross.

Archbishop Coleridge went into a pub and downed several pitchers of Carlton Draught.

After doing so, the Archbishop went into a reception hall and stopped a wedding guest from entering the hall in order to tell him his story of the slaughter of the albatrosses.

The wedding guest punched Archbishop Coleridge and sent him flying across 3 oceans into a British Premier League football ⚽️ stadium.

The Archbishop decided to become a hawker of goods in the stadium and went around shouting “Albatross! Albatross!”.

“What does it taste like?” asked a spectator.

“How do I know what it tastes like?” The Archbishop retorted angrily, “It tastes like bloody sea bird bloody flavour.”

“Do you get wafers with it?” The spectator asked.

“Of course you don’t get bloody wafers with it,” Archbishop Coleridge answered as Communion wafers fell out of his ass by the truck load.

“All right, I’ll take that one then,” the spectator paid the Archbishop and the Archbishop ripped the selected albatross off his necklace of albatrosses and gave it to the man.

Archbishop Coleridge was then attacked by a zombie 🧟‍♂️ Norwegian Blue parrot tired of pining for the fjords and so brought back from the dead.

The Archbishop fell from the stands on to the field.

On the field, he was set upon and choked to death by a python 🐍 named Monty.

After kicking the bucket, Archbishop Coleridge was horrified to discover that his idol Pope Francis was wrong about Hell.

Mercifully at the moment Coleridge tumbled into the flames 🔥 while Australian singer Olivia Newton John sang, “Xanadu, your neon lights will shine for you, Xanadu” while the Mongolian Chinese Emperor Kublai Khan stood and applauded, the Archbishop suddenly woke up.

It had all been a dream.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 3rd
2018.

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Haiku About Elijah Vs. The Prophets of Baal

September 22, 2018 at 5:41 pm (Poetry, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Mount Carmel Battle
Baal’s prophets go up in flames
Then down into flames

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Curtains For Saint Nicholas On The Night of Saint Nicholas’ Day

December 6, 2017 at 8:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Curtains For Saint Nicholas On The Night of Saint Nicholas’ Day

Hans dressed up as an Eastern Rite bishop (which is what Saint Nicholas was) to go down to the community hall in the little German village and hand out presents to the children who would be there.

Saint Nicholas entered the hall as the lights went down and the only lights shining were the lights on the Christmas tree 🎄.

As Saint Nicholas approached the tree to reach for the presents, six Vampiric Knights-Templar (who had been practising their shooting range skills the past few weeks) fired point blank into Saint Nicholas’ body with their sub-machine guns.

Saint Nicholas (Hans) fell to the ground quite dead and totally covered in bullet wounds and blood.

Both parents and children screamed.

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal (who had planned and masterminded this shooting of Saint Nicholas on this night of Saint Nicholas) then dove on to the body and licked up the blood with her tongue and fangs.

The snow white evening dress she was wearing was now covered in blood.

She then turned into a bat and flew out the door of the community hall.

Later in a Bavarian tavern where she ordered a Bloody Mary, she toasted the evening’s festivities with the Vampiric Knights-Templars.

“Death to this Saint and all who admire him,” she laughed as she used Crest whitening strips to get the blood off her fangs and get them sparkling white again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 6th
2017.

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Baal Walks Through His Archway In Florence Italy

May 30, 2017 at 4:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

“Mr. President,” an adviser spoke to Donald Trump, “we’ve just been informed that the ancient Phoenician god Baal walked through a replica archway in the city of Florence.”

“Really?” said Donald Trump who had pushed a dozen people out of his way so he could be first in line at a White House buffet smorgasboard.

“Yes, the archway which is a replica of an ancient Roman victory arch that was built in Palmyra, Syria at the end of the 2nd Century BC and was blown up by ISIS in August 2015- the replica was put up in Florence Italy over a month ago and now the Phoenician god Baal has walked through it,” said his adviser.

“What will this mean for my Presidency?” Trump asked as he got sour cream for his baked potato stuck in his hair.

“We have no idea,” said his adviser.

“Well, then get back to me when you do,” Trump fumed, “God, I hate red spider monkey fur in my baked potato.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 30th
2017.

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