Hell Celebrates 6th Anniversary of Pope Benedict’s Resignation Announcement

February 11, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“Well,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked to his parliamentary colleague Newbridge in Wales MP the Welsh vampiress Morgana, “It looks like I may have to arrange to have Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan’s testicles shot off with a semi-automatic weapon after all. I see The Manchester Guardian is reporting that the Pakistani government is refusing to let Christian woman and alleged Mohammed blasphemer Asia Bibi leave the country to join her daughters in Canada. I told that overrated cricket player they have for a national leader that unless he lets Asia leave Pakistan, his balls are toast.”

Renfield went to the washroom carrying the toilet paper he had ordered with pictures of the Prophet Mohammed on each sheet (he ordered it after reading the article).


DARPA Contract Assassiness Panty Goatee: Hired by British MP Renfield R. Renfield to shoot off Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan’s testicles with a semi-automatic weapon when she gets the text message from Renfield, “Cricket balls will be all that he has left to play with.”

. . .

German Cardinal Walter Kasper the head of the Saint Gallen Mafia in the Vatican opened his drawers trying to see if he could find his rolls of toilet paper that alternated between pictures of Jesus Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary on each sheet.

The night before, Cardinal Kasper (the Unfriendly Unholy Ghost as he was called by nickname) had opened up another pair of drawers to let the combined incubus/succubus called the Baphomet “come shining through” as the Cyndi Lauper song True Colours played on a record player on a dressing table next to his bed.

Now a virtually unknown and extremely rare record of the late great Jimmy Durante singing a little known hit, “Do you have a pain-us in your anus?” was playing on the record player.

Cardinal Kasper stopped the gramophone.

The song hit a little too close for comfort as far as memories of his nighttime encounter with the Baphomet went.

The Cardinal then walked over to his iPhone X where he wrote a statement condemning the Manifesto of Faith written by Gerhard Cardinal Muller (the former Prefect of The Congregation For The Doctrine of The Faith who had been appointed by Pope Benedict XVI in 2012 and fired by Pope Francis the Zero in 2017) and released this past weekend.

In the Manifesto of Faith, Cardinal Muller defended belief in the Trinity, the Incarnate Deity of Jesus Christ, the Sacraments, the moral law and the prospects of eternal life.

“These are not true Catholic doctrines,” Cardinal Kasper protested in a text message to Pope Francis.

Kasper opened the door to his personal bathroom where New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s astral twin was in the bathtub sacrificing 91 snow white hares from the Bavarian Alps to a statue of Baal/Moloch sitting atop the Norman Bates autographed Bates Motel showerhead in the tub area.

“Oops, sorry to disturb,” the Cardinal apologized and closed the bathroom door.

Next door in the Cardinal’s private Saint Gallen Chapel of Saint Hecate and All Witches, the Baphomet was ensuring that what he considered a naughty Italian schoolgirl (for wearing a traditional Crucifix) remained standing in the corner.

. . .


The 3 Witches who appeared to MacBeth the Thane of Glamis and later Cawdor. From left to right, the witches are Baphometa (daughter of Baphomet), Kalilama (daughter of Kali and Shiva whose name became lost to time) and Hecatelena (daughter of Hecate whose name also became lost to time).

The 3 Witches had been sent back in time to the year 1040 AD by the CERN Large Hadron Collidor to meet with MacBeth.

Today they were present in the Vatican Gardens and meeting with the ghost of Lady MacBeth as well as the astral twins of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and White House advisor Jared Kushner.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 11th
2019.

Advertisements

Permalink 15 Comments

Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes: A Gothic Mythological Private Eye Poem

January 12, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin’ where they all disappeared…
It’s those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane

Those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes…
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.

-Jimmy Buffett, August 1977.


The water nymph Ondine in a pre-Raphaelite painting
that Carson Cody Albion Private Eye gazed at on a wall
An immortal made immortal in stroke of brush and mixture on palette

And now he Carson Cody Albion who had been made immortal by Atargatis

Atargatis

would he too someday be immortalized in stroke of brush and mixture of palette
An immortal beyond time and space
captured on canvas in frame occupying a place on a wall
captured in paint by a particular person at a particular time and place
was this why infinity turned in on itself and formed a pair of loops
intersecting at a particular point in time and space?

And what of his painting?
Albion wondered to himself
Could his own sins and transgressions be transferred to his painted visage
As happened to Oscar Wilde’s hero of one Dorian Gray
in the Victorian dandy’s tale of gothic philosophical fiction?

In the same place California but at a different time over 75 years later
Dracul Van Helsing stumbled upon the aftermath of a child sacrifice to Baphomet
presided over by the state’s governor in an act of officially consecrating the state to the demons Baal and Baphomet
As moonbeams danced and sunflowers turned brown in the darkness of night and the crescent of a moon and the bloodbath following a baby’s screams at the hands of a World War II jerry’s insigniaed knife
Baphometa the daughter of Baphomet emerged

clutching her shoulder as if clutching a bloody wound
that was the sole remaining wound of the last vestige of whatever innocence she might have possessed
prior to participating in her first child sacrifice

Oh even daughters of demons stand wounded
when suddenly they come face to face with the dark side of their nature
when given their pedigree, surely the dark side was theirs by nature
but alas even for daughters of demons, darkness embraced and innocence lost
was not and should not be the lot of any of creation
since that dreaded day when the Light-Bearer ascended and became the Bearer of Darkness
An ascent that descended so rapidly
A light that burned so impenetrably it became the blackest of all darkness

Dracul rushed to embrace the distraught Baphometa
Leaving one to wonder could kindness and consolation drive the darkest darkness away?

Back 75 years, the real Ondine stood in front of Carson Cody Albion

Her hair colour had changed since the Pre-Raphaelite artist
had painted her picture in England in the 19th Century
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
What a change that can bring
Switch the time, switch the place
Switch the hair

By a stream of water, the hero in the Pre-Raphaelite painting
had lost the water nymph Ondine
By a fountain of water, Carson Cody Albion had found her

Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Even H2O wasn’t the same everywhere
as ice and snow fell into the ocean
Below the cascading castles of clouds

Against a snowy backdrop, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora
stood with her two mastiffs in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania

Facing Interpol agent Peter Whitstable
Whitstable had heard the urban myths and legends and tales of mysterious black eyed children
and now he stood face to face with black eyed dogs
And they stood staring at him
If eyes be the mirror of the soul, then souls these two black eyed mastiffs did not have
But fortunately for Whitstable, he was not their target
The Russian Orthodox monk behind him was
Sent by Patriarch Kirill of Moscow
As an emissary to the Romanian Orthodox Church
to advise them to break communion with Constantinople
But such was not Theodora’s plan
And foolish mortals should not interfere with the best laid plans of vampiresses
Particularly one with black eyed mastiffs at her beck and call

Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
From the mountain heights of Romania to the desert sands of Arabia
The Countess Draculina daughter of Count Dracula

strolling by the stream of the oasis palace of
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman
And she saw the Prince walk by
Book in hand
But the book he carried was not the Quran
But the Zohar
Most pre-eminent text in the Kabbalah

Tantric sex with Baphometa was called for
As Marvin Gaye sang Sexual Healing in the background
Dracul Van Helsing healed her
And Persephone the Queen of the Underworld waited for Dracul at sunset
at an Episcopal monastery in Santa Barbara

From the depths of Hades her husband’s realm
To the heights of Santa Barbara
Definitely changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
As Dracul and the Queen of the Underworld had tantric sex
And the Canadian vampire hunter made a cuckold of Zeus’ infernal brother
A pomegranate was crushed beneath the feet of the pair
And Persephone laughed, “Oh, Dracul,
if we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

-A vampire novel chapter
and gothic mythological
private eye poem
written by Christopher
Saturday January 12th
2019.

Permalink 9 Comments

An Auspicious Halloween For Baphometa and Her Friends

October 31, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI had gone to a chapel to pray.

When he entered the chapel, he was horrified to discover that the chapel had been stripped of its altar, its Crucifix and all its religious imagery including its icons, paintings and statues.

A group of gay Jesuit priests serving as advisors to Pope Francis had stripped the chapel of its previous content so they could erect a statue of Baphomet along with all his accompanying religious imagery inside the chapel.

Baphometa the daughter of the demon Baphomet greeted the Pope Emeritus on his arrival.


Good evening, Father Joseph. There have been a lot of changes going on.

. . .

Even Pope Francis was starting to get sick of all the massive round of gay Jesuit orgies that had been going on at the Vatican ever since the Bishops’ Synod On Youth had opened earlier this month.

So he had gone to a friend’s villa outside Rome to get some rest.

And there in the courtyard of the friend’s villa stood the zombie black horse named Bucephalus Reborn (who was the official horse of Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow who took over the Vatican a year ago along with the Vampiric Knights-Templar) dressed as London’s infamous Jack The Ripper to go out trick or treating on Halloween.

. . .

The new Vatican cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman was walking the halls of the Vatican far away from the parts where the Jesuits were at large.

Being an intense heterosexual of the Pope Alexander VI Borgia Pope variety, he was getting sick of being propositioned by all those Jesuit male advisers to Pope Francis.

He turned the corner and was greeted by a most pleasing sight:

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was strolling through the halls of the Kremlin when he encountered the mermaid goddess Atargatis dressed in human rather than mermaid form:


Comrade Putin, the time has come to stop dilly dallying lest people mistake you for Neville Chamberlain. I’ll have you know that at this very hour, Israeli Mossad agents are meeting with the Patriarch of Constantinople to make the autocephalus Ukrainian Orthodox Church of Kiev the most all encompassing and most powerful religious institution in Ukraine.

. . .

The ghost of Scotland’s Lady MacBeth (recently granted leave from the realm of Hades by the Greek god of the Underworld himself) was waiting for Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman as he entered the harem section of his palace and spoke to him as he entered

I am here, oh prince to give you advice on how to deal with the consequences of murder most foul and murder most bloody. Lucky for you that blood is easier to hide in desert sands than it is in human hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 31st
2018

Permalink 32 Comments