How Renfield Spent Saint Nicholas’ Day

December 6, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had spent the morning at the Aulos Music and Recording Ltd.’s Wuthering Heights and Glencoe Hospitality Studios owned by music promoter Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell.

After the old time Christmas musical hit song Baby, It’s Cold Outside was deemed too politically incorrect for pot smoking self-proclaimed feminist Justin Trudeau’s Canada and was being pulled from being played on most Canadian radio stations over the Christmas season, Renfield recorded his own version of the song in a duet with the famous New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont.

He then used his hacking skills to hack into most Canadian radio stations’ play lists and inserted a code by which the song would be played every 20 minutes on radio.

He then hired a bunch of newly arrived immigrants in Canada who had trouble getting jobs to work and drive around in ice cream trucks where the song Baby, It’s Cold Outside would be played on the loudspeakers to let frozen Canadian neighbourhoods know that the ice cream truck was coming.

Afterwards he went down to the Westminster House of Commons to deliver a statement in Parliament on his British Transhumanist Party’s official position on the global trade, foreign and defense policies of the Trump Administration in Washington DC.

The Speaker of the House called on Renfield to make the statement, “I understand the Honourable Member for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds wishes to make his party’s official statement on the Trump Administration’s global trade, foreign and defense policies.”

“I do, Mr. Speaker,” Renfield rose to his feet, “Donald Trump is so full of crap that if you gave him an enema before he died, you could bury him in a cigar box.”

He then sat down again.

Renfield believed in making his speeches brief and to the point.

Later when he returned home, he phoned the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria.

Lenora was holding a group of Russian Navy sailors prisoner in the medieval dungeons of an old castle in Scotland.

They were being guarded by the ghost of the Black Douglas as well as a brigade of British Army Gurkhas.


The ghosts of Humphrey Bogart and Peter Lorre perform an Abbott and Costello comedy routine for the enjoyment of Russian Navy prisoners of Renfield.

The Egyptian cat goddess Bastet then sat on Renfield’s shoulder where the two discussed the Egyptian god/vampire Osiris’ stupidity in getting Hades the god of the Underworld to release the body and soul of French President Emmanuel Macron whom Krampus had dragged down to Tartarus last night.

After mutually agreeing on what an ass Osiris was, Renfield returned to his parliamentary office in Westminster.

There he received a phone call from Chinese President Xi Jinping on whether Renfield and his Brigade of Gurkhas would storm a Canadian prison to release Huawei’s chief financial officer Meng Wangzhou who had just been arrested at Vancouver’s airport and was awaiting extradition to the U.S. for violating Trump Administration sanctions against Iran.

As Xi and Renfield discussed the raid and rescue, his Transhumanist Party colleague and fellow MP the Welsh vampiress Morgana put a book away in the office bookshelf prior to going on a date with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 6th
2018.

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Sekhmet, Set and Bastet

November 17, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Radio, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The year was 1938.

It was the month of November.

20 years earlier the Egyptian vampire Set’s tomb had been dug up in Egypt by Oxford trained Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury.

In fact, Set’s tomb had been opened at exactly 11 AM Greenwich Mean Time on November 11th 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month- the same minute the Armistice ending the Great War came into effect).

Set now lived in London, England where he had amassed a fortune.

Set was also one of the world business oligarchs supporting Hitler.

Not because Set was a Nazi.

But because Set thought Hitler would destroy Stalin.

Set hated Stalin because Stalin had arranged the murder of Set’s mortal fiancee back in 1924.

Sir Winston Churchill knew that Sol Invictus Set (as the wealthy businessman Egyptian vampire called himself in London circles) supported Hitler.

Churchill happened to run into the Egyptian lion headed goddess Sekhmet in the Egyptology section of the British Museum library one evening.

Sekhmet agreed to spy on Set for Churchill.

The goddess turned herself into an Egyptian teen-aged girl calling herself Sekhmeta and showed up at Set’s doorstep claiming to be a distant descendant of Horus (who was Set’s nephew) thus making herself Set’s niece (a great great great x great niece several times over).

Set agreed to let Sekhmeta stay with him.

One night 80 years ago, Set caught Sekhmeta listening to American jazz and jive music on the radio instead of doing her homework.

Set promptly administered a spanking.

Rubbing her behind and reaching for a pillow, Sekhmeta said to Set, “I’ll get you for that, Uncle Set.”

“I’m sure you will,” Set laughed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet was rising up behind an FBI agent and his girlfriend in a movie theatre to strike.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 17th
2018.

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Vampire Set’s Night On The Town- Berlin 1927

February 13, 2017 at 12:11 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in the Mephisto Lounge in Berlin. He wasn’t sure how many cabarets he had been visiting this evening. For he had been drinking a lot. And it had been alcohol. And not blood.

An alcohol hazed memory of the murder of his brother Osiris came back to him.

Set's Murder of His Brother Osiris Appeared Different In An Alcoholic Haze

That’s funny, Set thought to himself. He didn’t recall Bastet being there when he invited Osiris to inhabit the box which he was to close and later bodily dismember Osiris into 14 pieces. He wondered as he chewed an olive he found in his jacket sleeve pocket (from a martini in a previous nightspot) if that was the origin of the expression, “Has the cat got your tongue?”. Perhaps the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet had Osiris’.

No sooner had Set thought this profound thought when he was confronted by the sight of the devil Mephistopheles standing before him.

In the Mephisto Lounge, the waiters were dressed like Mephistopheles And when ordering from the menu, you’d have to agree to sell your soul before they took your order.

You signed the document in blood but if you were squeamish about that, they would accept red ink.

Set agreed to sell his soul in order to get a beer.

In another corner of the lounge, two men were watching and observing Set.

Both men were with British Intelligence.

“Did you find out about his background?” One man Thomas asked the other man Henry.

“Well,” Henry took out his notebook, “he’s apparently Egyptian. There’s no record of him prior to his suddenly showing up in a Cairo nightclub in November of 1918. The past several years he’s lived in London, New York and Chicago. He moved to Berlin in 1925.”

“And what are his political sympathies?” Thomas asked.

“Well, he’s attended several meetings of the German National Socialist Workers’ Party to hear that fellow Corporal Hitler speak,” Henry answered.

“I see,” Thomas looked thoughtful, “and he apparently still owns property in England?”.

“Affirmative,” Henry nodded.

“This fixation he has with Nazism,” Thomas inquired, “Do you suppose he’s racist?”.

“I have no idea,” Henry shrugged.

Thomas pondered the question for a moment.

Then he lit his pipe, blew smoke rings and looked up at the ceiling.

“I suppose there’s one way to find out,” Thomas breathed in the Egyptian tobacco.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 8th
2017.

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