Ankhesenamun In Jerusalem

November 24, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, magic, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

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  • A ₱ainting of the mysterious Ankhesenamun
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  • While a ₱ainting of the mysterious Ankhesenamun was being unveiled at The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London, the mysterious Ankhesenamun herself was walking on to₱ of the Tem₱le Mount in Jerusalem.
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  • Ankhesenamun was of course the daughter of ₱haraoh Akhenaten (whose reign was one of solar monotheism in which only one god was worshi₱₱ed – Aten the sun god) and his Great Royal Wife Queen Nefertiti.
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  • Ankhesenamun was also the half-sister and Great Royal Wife of ₱haraoh Tutankhamun (also known as King Tut the Boy ₱haraoh whose tomb was discovered 1OO years ago in November 1922).
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  • She had been turned into a vam₱iress by the ancient Babylonian vam₱iress Lilith millenia ago.
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  • She now stood ato₱ the Tem₱le Mount in Jerusalem.
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  • Her com₱anion was a living S₱hinx.
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  • The s₱hinx was born 1O3 years ago in Bethlehem on the same date in 1919 that Irish ₱oet William Butler Yeats wrote his ₱oem The Second Coming.
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  • Ankhesenamun, the S₱hinx and Israeli ₱rime Minister designate Benjamin Netanyahu were sharing a glass of ancient Egy₱tian beer and a bottle of Mogen David wine together.
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  • The ₱roceedings were being watched by Russian vam₱iress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB who was a s₱y for Vladimir ₱utin.
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  • Svetlana drank a Chardonnay wine, ate Black Sea caviar and some boiled Vietnamese Basa catfish as she watched the ₱roceedings.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
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  • written by Christo₱her
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  • Thursday November 24th
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  • 2O2O

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  • Leopold II Comes Tumbling Down While Abdullah II Warns of Middle East Conflict

    June 9, 2020 at 9:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was asked to comment on the removal of a statue of King Leopold II of Belgium in the Belgian city of Antwerp.

    Gasoline was poured over the statue and it was set aflame during a Black Lives Matter demonstration last week.

    Today the statue was taken down and placed in storage in a museum.

    King Leopold II was infamous for having conducted a genocide against the people of the Congo in which more than 10 million people died.

    Renfield drank a Belgian beer with an unpronouncable name and saluted the removal of the genocidal tyrant’s statue.

    “Mr. Renfield, this year 2020 has had the Covid-19 virus which nobody saw coming. A white policeman’s murder of a black man in Minneapolis has ignited a global movement against racism and police brutality that nobody saw coming. In this year of surprises,” a journalist asked the MP, “is it possible that some major event is out there that’s on the brink of happening but yet one could see it happening before hand?.”

    “There is,” Renfield nodded, “If Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu goes ahead and annexes large swathes of Palestinian territory in the West Bank around this coming July 1st like he says he’ll do, this will set off a major powder keg in the Middle East.”

    “It will?” Blinked the journalist who belonged to that generation that called itself Woke and therefore was asleep and totally oblivious to what was really happening in the current world.

    “Yes, King Abdullah II of Jordan has warned of a “major conflict” with Israel if that annexation goes ahead,” Renfield pointed out.

    “Why didn’t I know about this?” The journalist seemed perplexed.

    “Possibly because you in the mainstream media have been constantly yapping about Covid for the past 3 months and nothing else,” Renfield explained, “It’s only with the Black Lives Movement going global that you’ve finally found another story to cover. 30 years ago, journalists once covered a multitude of stories. Today you people in the media can’t seem to handle any more than 2 or 3.”

    “You hurt my feelings by saying that,” the Woke journalist had tears in his eyes, “All throughout my school years, my teachers told me I should always have high self-esteem. How can I have high self-esteem if you point out negative stuff like that? I’m going to send out an angry tweet about this. #Insensitive.”

    As the Woke journalist went off to send a whining tweet, BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy asked Renfield for more infomation about what was happening in the Middle East.

    “Well,” Renfield sipped a brandy, “Netanyahu is working behind the scenes to get Jordan’s King Abdullah replaced as the Custodian and Guardian of the Holy Sites in Jerusalem by Jared Kushner’s good bum buddy the Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman. Since MbS is a narcisstic and bloodthirsty fellow who’s been conducting a genocidal war against the Houthi peoples of Yemen for the past 5 years (a war totally ignored by the Western news media), it should come as no surprise that he’d be willing to sell out the Palestinians if it would work to his greater advantage and glory.”

    . . .

    In the Middle East, Dark Side Deep State operatives within Mossad were plotting the assassination of King Abdullah II of Jordan.

    The Greek god Ares (Greek god of war) sat outside the meeting and drank a toast.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday June 9th

    Permalink 23 Comments

    Netanyahu, Bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

    April 27, 2020 at 9:41 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

    Netanyahu, bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

    Some foul mouthed teen girl bicyclist was riding down the street shooting her foul mouth illiterate mouth off, “I’ve got the whole world at my feet, motherfucker.”

    Pan Goatee who was putting the garbage out promptly beheaded the foul mouth trash can sporting a bad hair style and commented before hand, “Two words of advice. Don’t talk to yourself in public or people might think you’re insane. And don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur.”

    He kicked the motherfucking female cyclist’s head down the street where it was promptly eaten by rats.

    . . .

    U. S. President Donald Trump was talking to his butler and valet Athelstan, “Somebody tweeted me an article from the Nostradumbass Science Enquirer saying that if I were to launch nuclear weapons all over the planet, that would provide enough heat and radiation to kill the Wuhan Virus. What do you think, Athelstan?”.

    “Don’t do it, sir,” Athelstan answered.

    . . .

    Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was talking to his allies in the United Arab Emirates about the genocidal campaign they had been carrying out against the Houthis in Yemen (with U.S. support) for the past several years.

    “Why don’t they just roll over and play dead for real?” The Saudi Crown Prince was foaming at the mouth, “We’ve been cluster bombing them. We’ve been cutting off most of their food supply. But they won’t starve to death. We’ve been cutting off medical aid to them but they won’t succumb to Covid-19 or any other illness and die en masse. This is very inconsiderate of them. Why in the name of Allah the Merciful won’t they just die when we’ve spent hundreds of millions trying to exterminate them?”.

    The U.A.E. representative had no answer for the bombastic Saudi Crown Prince.

    . . .

    Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was talking to a Mossad agent named Star of Azazel.

    “We are going to be annexing a whole bunch of territories in the West Bank over the next couple of months,” Netanyahu said between mouthfuls of kosher corn beef sandwich, “And the U.S. government says it will back us in this. I’m about to earn an everlasting legacy in Israel’s history. And in my humble opinion, I can say no Israeli politician is more deserving of this. I just hope I don’t come down with Covid-19 like Britain’s Boris Johnson did. That would put a damper on everything.”

    . . .

    Meanwhile in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome, the Greek nature god Pan and the demon Baphomet were taking the figure of Christ off a Crucifix and substituting in its place a figure of the Middle Eastern goat demon Azazel.

    But since there were no public Masses being held in Italy these days, it would be a while before anyone would notice.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Monday April 27th

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    Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate

    November 21, 2019 at 11:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate 

    The debate being hosted tonight among candidates for MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds in the upcoming December 12th UK General Election was on the subject of Foreign Policy.

    Renfield R. Renfield the current British Transhumanist Party MP for the Constituency as well as the current UK Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was asked a question by the reporter for the local Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle on the matter of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today being formally charged by Israel’s Attorney-General with fraud, breach of trust and bribery.

    Said the corned beef on rye eating reporter for the Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle, “Mr. Netanyahu has described the charges as a “political witch hunt” and has said that the “authorities weren’t after the truth, they were after me” and has called on the country to “investigate the investigators”. Mr. Renfield, what is your take on that?”.

    “Well,” Renfield finished off his 2nd 40 oz. bottle of Scotch whisky for the debate, “If I was Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani, I’d be advising the Donald to sue Netanyahu for plagiarism and expropriation of one’s favourite turn of phrase x 3.”

    The next question came from the reporter for the local Undrained Swamp Times and was addressed to British Conservative candidate (and former Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds MP) Agathor Christie, “Mr. Christie, at today’s impeachment hearing in Washington DC, there seemed to be a conflict between Republican and Democrat as to which country most likely interfered in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election- Russia or Ukraine. Mr. Christie, who do you think it was that interfered in the U.S. election in 2016?”.

    “Well,” Christie was eating a bag full of Christie’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, “I personally believe that it was the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen that was responsible for foreign interference in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. The hacking was done at computers at a popular jazz cafe on the island of Spitsbergen. This jazz cafe in Spitsbergen was first mentioned in a documentary that Orson Welles made back in 1973. The very same jazz cafe that was noted artist Pablo Picasso’s favourite destination during the winter months of the year…”

    Christie was unable to finish his answer because he then passed out on to the floor.

    “Well,” Renfield thought to himself, “we now know who was responsible for stealing and smoking that 20 gram bag of Canadian cannabis from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s aquarium.”

    There suddenly seemed to be a commotion in the meeting hall.

    Renfield wondered whether an assassination attempt was about to happen.

    Prior to the debate, Sherrielock Holmes the Chief of Security for Set Enterprises had informed Renfield that 3 different assassination teams would be after him tonight.

    Russian President Vladimir Putin had sent an FSB assassination squad to bump Renfield off.

    Donald Trump had sent a combined Israeli Mossad and Saudi Arabian hit squad (namely because he couldn’t trust U.S. deep state agency operatives to do his bidding) to bump Renfield off.

    Pope Francis had sent a Jesuit hit squad to bump Renfield off.

    Thus the meeting hall was stacked with Set Enterprises’ operatives and intelligence agents friendly to Renfield.

    There was Set Enterprises secret agents Miranda Singh and Harvey Tallbanger, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango.

    South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango: Backstage at the Tewkesbury constituency debate on Foreign Policy.

    The four Renfield allied intelligence operatives moved quickly into action.

    The light switches were hit.

    The hall went dark.

    And the 3 different assassination hit squad members ended up shooting and killing one another.

    Renfield then invited his 4 intelligence operatives friends back to his B and B for late night tea and crumpets.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday November 21st

    Permalink 18 Comments

    The U.S. Embassy Opens In Jerusalem On Israel’s 70th Anniversary As A Nation

    May 14, 2018 at 11:55 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Egyptian vampiress Isis arriving at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem:

    The U. S. Embassy Opens In Jerusalem On Israel’s 70th Anniversary As A Modern Nation

    Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu got a huge erection when he saw her.

    The Egyptian vampiress Isis arriving at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem.

    Coincidentally at the same time as he called U.S. President Donald Trump the “reincarnation of the Persian king Cyrus.”

    In Rome, Pope Francis (who didn’t have an erection as he watched the ceremony on television) retrieved the Handbook of Catholic Christian Dogma from his garbage can (where he had placed it since his election to the Papacy) as he couldn’t remember whether the Catholic Church believed in reincarnation or not.

    If it did, it could be a dogma he could deny at some future date.

    U. S. President Donald Trump (when he began his address via television) likewise got an erection when he saw Isis arrive at the U.S. Embassy Jerusalem opening on his television monitor.

    “At this very moment, you have absolutely no idea how much I want to be there in person…” Trump began.

    Rudy Giuliani was meanwhile thinking of a prophecy about storms in the (cheque) Book of Daniels.

    Several Hamas operatives smashed their motor vehicles into one another (killing each other in the process) upon seeing Isis (the nice knockers in a see-through dress vampiress not the terrorist group) arrive at the Embassy opening.

    The famous London art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest who was a personal friend of Ivanka Trump was also there along with his living dead manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie.

    Even though Dashwood Forrest was gay, he too was overcome with an erection upon seeing the sensuously beautiful young looking vampiress Isis.

    I hope my boyfriend isn’t watching this at home, Forrest thought to himself as the BBC World News camera panned in on him.

    Katy Perry’s lyrics “I kissed a girl and I liked it…” kept running through his mind.

    “I hereby declare the U. S. Embassy in Jerusalem officially open on this 14th day of May in the Year of Our Lord 2018- the 70th Anniversary of the birth of the modern State of Israel 🇮🇱,” Ivanka Trump pronounced as she unveiled the plaque next to the Embassy front door.

    Both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Pope Francis winced when she used the term Year of Our Lord.

    Ivanka Trump went over and hugged Dashwood Forrest after the plaque unveiling as soon as she saw him.

    “Well,” Ivanka laughed a little taken aback after hugging the Oscar Wilde admiring London art gallery owner, “is that a paintbrush 🖌 in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”.

    She brushed off her white skirt.

    “You’ve always had that effect on me, my dear,” Dashwood Forrest laughed.

    “Suicide bomber,” Mulligan the Irish zombie shouted as soon as he saw him.

    Mulligan landed on top of the Lebanese Hezbollah operative (who was wearing such dark sunglasses that he never noticed the extreme sunblock wearing vampiress Isis) just as he detonated the explosives.

    As a result of Mulligan’s drunken heroic actions, the only ones injured in the explosion 💥 was the suicide bomber himself as well as Dashwood Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant who went totally to pieces as a result of the rescue.

    Both Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Iran’s Supreme Leader the Ayatollah Ali Khameini cried in their beer 🍺 when they saw the death of the Hezbollah operative.

    “I don’t think I’m quite dead yet,” the moving lips on the head of Mulligan the Irish zombie impersonated an Englishman believed to have succumbed to the bubonic plague in the movie Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

    “Well,” Dashwood Forrest picked up one of Mulligan’s middle fingers, “this looks like a job for Dr. Cadbury Rocher.”

    Meanwhile in London, Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher put on his Superman costume as he headed out to a Costume Ball in London on a lovely May evening.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Monday May 14th

    Permalink 16 Comments

    Benjamin Netanyahu Meets The Vampiress Lilith

    May 3, 2018 at 11:22 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    Benjamin Netanyahu Meets The Vampiress Lilith

    Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was walking through a garden on the Mount of Olives with his Defense Minister Avigdor Lieberman.

    A few days earlier the Israeli Knesset had voted to give the Prime Minister of Israel the power to unilaterally declare war in an emergency situation.

    Prior to this legislation, the Prime Minister could only do so with the approval of his cabinet.

    Now he only need do it through consulting one other person.

    The Minister of Defense.

    That is why Netanyahu was walking through the Garden of Gethsemane with his Minister of Defense Avigdor Lieberman.

    “So, do you agree that we should destroy Iran before Iran destroys us?” Netanyahu asked Lieberman.

    “I agree,” said a beautiful red headed woman wearing an open top grayish green evening dress standing right in front of them:

    Both men stopped in their tracks when confronted by the heavenly vision.

    There was a moment of silence.

    Broken by an owl hooting in a nearby tree.

    “You want us to go to war?” Netanyahu asked the beautiful woman.

    “I do,” she smiled a sensuous smile, “I want to bathe in the blood of all those slain.”

    She then whirled around in her evening dress and vanished.

    The owl hooted again.

    Suddenly a huge thunderstorm and great blowing whirlwind surrounded Mount Moriah (also known as the Temple Mount).

    “Who was that woman?” Lieberman asked.

    “Lilith,” Netanyahu spoke a name he had first heard in his classes studying the Babylonian Talmud.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday May 3rd

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    David and Goliath

    September 7, 2017 at 5:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , )

    David and Goliath

    Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having a dream.

    He was dreaming that he was David in the Biblical story of David and Goliath.

    The giant warrior Goliath of Gath stood there in his armour.

    The giant raised his helmet but David (Netanyahu) could not see his face.

    A mysterious cloud hovered in front of Goliath’s face.

    David (Netanyahu) put his stone in a sling and slung it.

    The stone immediately hit Goliath in the forehead.

    Goliath (whoever he was whose face was hidden behind the cloud) fell to the ground dead.

    Netanyahu awoke and wondered, what did the dream mean?

    And who did the figure of Goliath in the dream represent?

    . . .

    North Korean despot Kim Jong-un went to bed.

    He had his teddy bear with him.

    The teddy bear wore the hat and clothes and had the facial features and razor sharp long fingernailed glove of his favourite American movie character Freddy Krueger.

    One of his aunts had told his parents that she really didn’t think such a teddy bear was appropriate for a child when he first requested it when he was 3 years old.

    Kim responded to his aunt’s interference by poisoning her green tea- the first of many deaths he’d arrange throughout his life.

    Kim hung on to his teddy bear and sucked his thumb and fell asleep 😴.

    He dreamed that he was in a story that a Russian Orthodox priest visiting his dad’s palace in Pyongyang had told him as a small child.

    He dreamed that he was some kid from long ago called David.

    And a huge giant stood in front of him.

    Goliath of Gath was the giant’s name Kim recalled.

    The giant’s breastplate bore the colours and Stars and Stripes of the American flag 🇺🇸.

    Goliath lifted his helmet and David (Kim) could see the face of Donald Trump.

    “Fire and fury,” said the giant.

    Behind him the giant’s advisers said, “They don’t have the capability of producing nuclear weapons. Their intercontinental ballistic missiles won’t work.”

    A Philistine general said, “We may have to annihilate this small country.”

    David (Kim) put the stone (in the shape of an intercontinental ballistic missile carrying an H-bomb warhead) into his sling and slung it.

    The stone hit Goliath (Trump) in the middle of the forehead.

    Goliath (Trump) fell to the ground dead and a large mushroom cloud went up into the atmosphere as he fell.

    Kim Jong-un awakened with a huge smile on his face.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday September 6th

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    Netanyahu and Dr. Cadbury Rocher

    October 20, 2016 at 4:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    Netanyahu and Dr. Cadbury Rocher

    Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was on the telephone with Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

    “Dr. Rocher, the entire state of Israel is grateful that you have managed to come up with an antidote to Polonium-210 poisoning,” Netanyahu said, “it has saved the life of one of our best Mossad agents the Controller of the Golem. Although we have put out the word he died so as to throw the ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith off the scent.”

    “You’re very welcome, Mr. Prime Minister,” Dr. Rocher helped himself to some kosher popcorn,”of course I’d use the antidote on anyone for the right price.”

    “Yes, I know you would, Dr. Rocher, ” Netanyahu acknowledged, “of course the State of Israel could not afford your price. So I had to put in an emergency call to Baron Rothschild. He was somewhat miffed but agreed to put up the appropriate shekels. Although he was angry about having to cancel this month’s annual masquerade party sex orgy on his estate that was so carefully re-enacted in Stanley Kubrick’s 1999 film Eyes Wide Shut which resulted in Kubrick’s sudden death 4 days after he showed the final cut to Warner Brothers Pictures. The Baron couldn’t afford to pay both your fee and the cost of hosting this year’s party. Both the ET gray Gali-Gula (who’s possessed by the spirit of Roman Emperor Caligula ) and Renfield R. Renfield are quite miffed that the party has been cancelled I understand.”

    “Yes, Renfield has really been bitching about it the past few days,” Dr. Rocher sighed, “he was looking forward to having his buns tomatoed by Sherrielock Holmes who’d be wearing the jade mask of the Buddhist mother goddess Kwan Yin as she did it.”

    “Yes, well, Kubrick would probably have a field day with that one if he were still alive,” the Prime Minister thanked Rocher again and put the phone down.

    Netanyahu sighed.

    He too had been looking forward to this year’s annual Rothschild masquerade party sex orgy.

    Meanwhile in New York City, Hillary’s husband Bill Clinton was openly blubbering and sobbing over the cancellation of this year’s annual Rothschild masquerade party sex orgy.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 20th

    Permalink 2 Comments

    Netanyahu: When ET’s Friend Phones You Not Home

    October 3, 2015 at 6:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Netanyahu: When ET’s Friend Phones You Not Home

    Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was sitting in the back of a diplomatic limousine in Manhattan after having delivered a passionate speech at the UN General Assembly in New York City.

    At his side was the Mossad agent known as the Controller of The Golem.

    The phone in the limousine rang.

    The Prime Minister looked at the number.

    He recognized the number of the U.S. National Security Council in Washington D.C.

    “Hello,” the Prime Minister of Israel picked up the receiver.

    “Mr. Prime Minister, this is a friend,” the voice said, “you must give up all control over the Temple Mount and East Jerusalem itself.”

    “Who is this?” The Israeli Prime Minister demanded to know.

    “And you must give up all control over the West Bank,” the voice said, “We know this was part of the land promised to you by The Lord God of Israel but he’s just an extraterrestrial- an astronaut from another world – He’s not the Supreme Creator of the Universe. We have the evidence to prove it which we will share with you at a future date. But in the meantime don’t hold on to the Temple Mount, East Jerusalem and settlement areas in the West Bank areas as if they were part of some divine mandate.”

    “Who is this?” The Prime Minister was furiously angry.

    The phone clicked.

    And went dead.

    The Prime Minister looked over at the Controller of The Golem.

    “It was probably a hacker/prankster with a really bad sense of humour, Mr. Prime Minister,” the Controller assured him, “one who’s watched one too many episodes of that American TV program Ancient Aliens.”

    “Maybe,” the Prime Minister looked thoughtful, “or maybe something much more sinister.”

    Outside the limousine, some New York City doomsayer held up a placard that bore a verse from II Thessalonians Chapter 2, “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie.” -II Thessalonians 2: 11.

    A billboard across the street read, “God was just an astronaut.”

    To be continued.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 1st

    Permalink 36 Comments

    Sangita In Jerusalem

    March 18, 2015 at 6:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    Sangita In Jerusalem

    Sangita Patel Douglas was in her Jerusalem home cooking dinner.

    She was the wife of William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the deputy consul at the British consulate in West Jerusalem.

    Her husband had been the Scottish Nationalist Party MSP (Member of the Scottish Parliament) for the Eildon Hills.

    But after the pro-independence side had lost last year’s September 18th referendum on Scottish independence, British Prime Minister David Cameron had named her husband the British Deputy Consul in West Jerusalem to show there were no hard feelings.

    It had been a chaotic time in the city the past few weeks with the Israeli national general election happening.

    Much to the surprise of most pollsters and media pundits, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had won the election.

    She had heard from her husband that the U.S. Embassy in Tel Aviv had decided not to lower the embassy flag as a sign of mourning despite a directive from the White House that they do so.

    She prepared the corned beef sandwiches and put them on the dinner table.

    Her husband William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas and the family bagpiper Pan Deux (who was the spitting image of a fabled hired assassin for the U.S. government Pan Goatee since they were both genetically created by noted British mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher- the difference being Pan Goatee was psycho and Pan Deux was not) joined her.

    “So,” Sangita asked her husband, “why do you think Bibi won again?”.

    “The Israeli people probably decided that Israel has too many enemies at the moment and they probably felt only Bibi could stand up to them,” her husband replied.

    “And what have you been doing, Pan Deux?” Sangita asked the tartan kilt wearing furry goat-legged family bagpiper.

    “I’m trying to compose a Scottish ballad about how a total solar eclipse at the North Pole on the first day of spring occurs only once every 100,000 years,” Pan Deux replied as he dipped his corn-beef sandwich into his porridge.

    “It must be difficult finding the words for that,” Sangita passed him the brown sugar for his porridge.

    “It is,” Pan Deux put the brown sugar on his porridge and then added some of Sangita’s delicious curry sauce, “I wonder how Robbie Burns would describe it.”

    “He’d probably write, ‘Tis not a brae bricht moonlicht nicht tonicht’, ” her husband said which was the old Scottish way of saying “It’s not a bright moon lit night tonight.”

    Outside the house, a bunny rabbit chased a frog out of the garden.

    To be continued.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday March 18th

    Permalink 9 Comments

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