The Dance of Shiva

August 17, 2016 at 12:48 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

August 13th 1944- German physicist Franz von Papen was doing experiments in his Berlin laboratory with sound.

His thesis: He was going to try to see if he could use sound to split the atom.

If he could, then the Reich would have no need for uranium or heavy water cooling plants to produce an atomic bomb.

What would produce this sound that would split the atom?

Von Papen had in front of him a Western musically inscribed transcript of the melody of A Hymn To Chaos that had been sung in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery for thousands of years.

And the musical instrument he’d use to produce the sound of music of this Hymn To Chaos?

After much research on the subject, he decided on the theremin.

The theremin invented by Russian inventor Leon Theremin in 1920.

Von Papen excitedly opened the box containing the theremin.

It was empty.

The seller of musical instruments had forgotten to pack the instrument.

The physicist angrily got on the phone to the instrument seller.

August 17th 1944- The theremin had finally arrived.

Quickly von Papen put down his music notes (the western inscribed musical transcript of the Tibetan Buddhist Hymn To Chaos) and started playing the theremin.

To his shock, a small image of the Hindu deity Shiva appeared in the room and started dancing.

Von Papen stopped playing the theremin and the image stopped dancing and disappeared.

Von Papen now had something he could show the Fuhrer.

Von Papen wrote down some notes and mailed them to a distant cousin of his.

He then got on the phone to the Office of The Fuhrer- a phone that had been tapped by MI6.

Von Papen was immediately invited to the Fuhrer’s office that night to demonstrate what he had discovered.

As Von Papen left his laboratory that afternoon, he was promptly assassinated by an operative operating for MI6 in Berlin.

. , .

Vatican Cardinal Walter Kasper had been contacted by the United States government.

They were anxious to get a score of musical notes that had been in the possession of a relative of his- a musicologist.

The musicologist had left the notes to his young relative Walter when he heard that Walter was entering the priesthood.

He felt that the notes would be safe with a priest.

Kasper had never bothered to read the notes.

He was surprised when the U.S. government offered him money for them.

The U.S. State Department had told him that the notes were for the Smithsonian Institute in Washington D.C.

Kasper would not take the money for himself (Pope Francis frowned on such things!) but he told the State Department to give the money to his favourite charity.

The Cardinal sat in a Roman cafe waiting for the U.S. government representative to show up.

Out of nowhere suddenly appeared in front of him a man with a goatee beard wearing a mink fur hat on his head and Hawaiian shorts showing very hairy legs.

The man resembled images and pictures he had seen of the Greek satyr god Pan.

“Here’s the money for your favourite charity, your Eminence,” Pan Goatee put a briefcase on the table.

“I’ve got my distant relative’s musical scores right here,” the Cardinal reached down for his portfolio case.

It was gone.

As Pan Goatee and the Cardinal looked around for signs of the portfolio attache case, a hamster was seen scurrying down the streets of Rome carrying a portfolio attache case.

. . .

In a hotel room in Rome as Renfield R. Renfield was getting a massage from a young masseuse who was a deadringer for the young Sophia Loren as she would have appeared in movies of the 1950s and ’60s, he was on the phone.

“Yes,” said Renfield, “I have the attache case.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 13th 2016.

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Wilkie The Cat: Master Spy: A Poem

August 11, 2016 at 12:56 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Wilkie The Cat was hired by the CIA
because the admissions director was having an off day
His first mission was to go to Berlin
and steal a captured Mid-Eastern jinn
held in a vodka bottle in the Russian Embassy
The jinn when taken would be
subject to DARPA scrutiny
replacing Men That Stare At Goats fantasy

Mitzi meanwhile was hired by Putin
because Kremlin cats thought her a cutin’
She would guard the jinn in the bottle
and give would-be robbers a throttle

Wilkie came crashing through the Embassy window
and wondered if his feat was captured on video
Mitzi said, “Wilkie, it’s you.”
Wilkie admitted, “That’s very true.”
That both were now spies tickled them pink
and they decided to have a drink

Wilkie took off a paw one of his sock-a
and decided to open up the vodka
And in doing so, the jinn did escape
and flew around Berlin driving Merkel ape

So both DARPA and the Russians lost out on the jinn
and for the fiasco, Trump blamed Hillary’s email sin.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday August 1st 2016.

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Dateline: Berlin

May 4, 2014 at 7:20 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dateline: Berlin

Russian President Vladimir Putin was pleased to visit an FSB interrogation room.

For one of his top FSB agents the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had finally captured the Ukrainian Intelligence Service’s top agent the Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak.

Mr. Putin noticed that the blonde Vampiress Miss Huculak was wearing a ripped and torn cream coloured Gucci evening dress.

He then happened to notice that the brunette Vampiress Miss Kireeva was wearing the same cream coloured Gucci evening dress.

He deduced that Miss Kireeva had no doubt ripped and torn Miss Huculak’s dress for wearing the same outfit as she.

Svetlana was no doubt furious that she had been caught undead wearing the exact same dress as another woman.

. . .

The agent for the Portuguese Intelligence Service caught the midnight flight from Lisbon to Berlin.

He was carrying a secret message of a highly delicate nature- so delicate that his superiors decided to send him to Berlin to rendezvous with another agent in person (like in the good old pre-digital days of the Cold War) rather than risk sending it over the Net or some other form of electronic communication where it might be picked up by some highly sophisticated electronic eavesdropping system.

The Portuguese agent was to meet the Israeli Mossad agent by the last remaining portion of the Berlin Wall which served as a memorial to those terrible days at the height of the Cold War when Berlin was a divided city.

The two agents would identify one another with the line, “Please sir, I want some more” to which the other would respond, “What the dickens do you mean?”.

The Portuguese agent saw the man standing alongside the Berlin Wall reading a copy of Oliver Twist.

The Portuguese agent walked over and said, “Please sir, I want some more.”

The other man responded, “What the dickens do you mean?”.

Both men were gunned down by machine gun fire.

“Look Martha,” an American tourist pointed out to his wife on the late night tour bus, “they’re role playing a cross-over escape from east to west.”

“Yeah, that looks like real blood too,”
his wife applied dark rouge lipstick to her lips.

The ‘pro-Russian militia man’ walked over to the body of the Portuguese agent and removed the message from inside the dead man’s vest.

As he walked away, the all-night tour bus was playing on the radio a local Berlin radio talk show where Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov had phoned in to say that he categorically denied that there were any Russian soldiers operating in Berlin these days.

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 4th
2014.

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Haiku About Hitler’s Ghost Having A Cocktail In NYC

September 16, 2013 at 7:33 pm (Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Hitler’s ghost sips drink

first take Manhattan then you…

take Berlin then world

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