Mei-ling Manchu

May 16, 2017 at 4:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The year was 1933.

And the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was paying a visit to Britain’s House of Lords to see his friend Lord Oswald Jennings give a speech on China in the House of Lords.

Lord Oswald Jennings had a son Spencer Jennings who was the British Conservative MP for the constituency of Stamford On The Welland.

And Spencer Jennings had an 8-year-old son Byron Jennings.

In the opinion of the said vampire billionaire who called himself Mr. Sol Invictus Set, Byron Jennings was a spoiled brat.

But fortunately Lord Oswald Jennings did not invite Set back to his home after the speech where his son and daughter-in-law and spoiled brat grandson would be attending.

Instead he invited Set to dinner at his club.

“I agree with you,” Lord Jennings winked at Set over a brandy, “my grandson is a brat. I find Spencer and his airhead wife Lillian are too enamoured with this progressive education nonsense. Letting the child do exactly whatever he wants.”

After dinner and brandy at the club. Sol Invictus Set walked out into the night.

He noticed a very attractive young Asian woman walking up the street.

She was wearing a black dragon emblazoned red dress slit up the sides in that sleek chic oriental fashion that Set found so arousing.

It’s too bad that he had to rush home as he was expecting a phone call from Stanley Baldwin. Otherwise he’d have asked the beautiful young woman out for a drink.

But the beautiful young Asian woman had plans of her own.

For she was Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life scientist Dr. Fu Manchu who was so grossly slandered in Sax Rohmer’s stereotypical books.

Her father feared that Lord Oswald Jennings was far too sympathetic to the idea of Japanese control over Manchuria and quite possibly the rest of China.

Thus he had instructed Mei-ling to kidnap Lord Jennings’ grandson Byron hoping to influence His Lordship away from a pro-Japanese position.

How Mei-ling wondered, would she do it?

She noticed a boy standing at the corner looking through the window of a bookshop.

She looked at the photo of Lord Jennings’ grandson that her father had given her.

Then she looked at the boy on the corner.

They were the same individual.

She walked up to the boy.

Ironically, the boy was looking at the cover of one of Sax Rohmer’s stereotypical books.
Daughter of Fu Manchu

Said Byron (who was about as horny as his poetic namesake), “Wow. I’d like that woman on the cover to take me home and spank me.”

“Oh, this was going to be easy,” Mei-ling smiled to herself.

“How’d you like me to take you to my home and give you a spanking?” Mei-ling adjusted the slit skirt of her dress.

“Okay,” said the boy.

So kidnapping the grandson of Lord Oswald Jennings turned out to be as easy as taking candy from a baby.

And quite possibly the boy might even cease being a brat under Mei-ling Manchu’s tutelage.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 16th
2017.

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80 Years Ago Today- The Hindenburg Disaster

May 6, 2017 at 3:33 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Hindenburg

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was recalling where he was 80 years ago today.

Aboard the dirigible airship LZ 129 Hindenburg as it caught fire trying to dock with its mooring mass at Naval Air Station Lakehurst in Manchester Township New Jersey on May 6th, 1937.

Of the 97 people on board (36 passengers and 61 crewmen), there were 35 fatalities (13 passengers and 22 crewmen). One worker on the ground was also killed, bringing the final death toll to 36.

The vampire Set had departed aboard the Hindenburg from Frankfurt Germany on the evening of May 3rd 1937.

He was carrying a message with him from Der Fuhrer Adolf Hilter (Set was an important financial backer of Germany’s leader) to U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

When Set arrived at Lakehurst, he would board an American Airlines flight from Lakehurst to Newark, New Jersey. He would then catch a plane from Newark to New York City and then on to Washington DC where he would meet in secret with FDR to deliver the message.

In the message, Hitler proposed an anti-Bolshevik crusade with FDR for some time a few years down the road.

Hitler would attack the USSR from the West (from Europe) and America would attack the USSR from the East (from Alaska).

In return, Hitler proposed that America take and keep Siberia (which of course was just across the Bering Strait from Alaska).

Hitler would take the rest of Russia.

However the Hindenburg caught fire as it was about to land.

Set promptly turned into a bat and flew down to safety as Herbert Morrison cried into the radio microphone for radio station WLS in Chicago, “Oh, the humanity….”

To this day, there were still debates going on about what caused the fire aboard the Hindenburg. Some said it was sabotage. Others said it was caused by an electrical spark.

Set personally believed it was sabotage.

Because once he was on the ground in Lakehurst and had resumed his human shape, the vampire who called himself Sol Invictus Set saw his arch enemy, sister and sister-in-law the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis standing there.

Isis had with her by her side the Moroccan wrestler Abdul the Butcher who was her bodyguard at the time.

Abdul hit Set over the head and knocked him out.

When Set came to, Der Fuhrer’s message meant for FDR’s eyes only was gone.

How the world might have been different had that message been delivered, Set reflected.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 6th
2017.

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Renfield and Amadeus At An Irish Karaoke Party

November 12, 2016 at 6:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield and Amadeus At An Irish Karaoke Party

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had his entire mansion to himself tonight.

His butler and valet Athelstan had been called away to bail his mother out of jail for being drunk and disorderly. Apparently Athelstan’s mother had been drinking too much gin in a northern England pub and had gotten into a violent argument with another patron about who was England’s greatest rugby player.

Amadeus and Renfield were out of the house to meet the New Orleans songstress and vampiress Angelique Dumont in a London karaoke bar in a tribute night to The Greatest Hits of Tommy Makem and The Clancy Brothers.

So Set was doing what any male would do when he had the entire house to himself- he was drinking a bottle of beer (albeit in Set’s case with a side of blood) and watching television.

He was watching a BBC World News story about more anti-Trump rioting and protests in post-election America.

BBC Reporter (with a huge riot going on in the background): In the weeks running up to this Presidential election the big fear was that Donald Trump supporters would not accept the reality of a Hillary Clinton victory and would riot and cause general mayhem and chaos following the election. Now that the shoe is on the other foot and America has to face the reality of a Donald Trump victory, some of Hillary Clinton’s supporters are rioting and creating general mayhem and chaos themselves.

(Behind the BBC reporter, bottles are being thrown and American flags are being burnt. Signs saying TRUMP NOT MY PRESIDENT are being waved and cries of “Fuck You America” are being shouted)

BBC Reporter (calling to a protestor carrying a Molotov cocktail): Excuse me, sir. Can I talk to you for a minute?

Protestor (with Molotov cocktail): Sure. Cool, man.

BBC Reporter: Why are you doing this?

Protestor: Because Trump won and Hillary lost. This is an affront to democracy and the will of the people, man.

BBC Reporter: What do you think would have happened had Hillary won and Trump lost?

Protestor: All those white Neo-Nazi Ku Klux Klansmen who supported Trump would have rioted. Because Trump supporters have no class.

Topless Tattooed Blonde (burning her Stars and Stripes coloured brassiere in front of the camera): That’s right, Trump supporters have no class. Unlike us, we have class. Fuck you, America! (holds up her middle finger)

Meanwhile down at the Karaoke bar where Irish Music Appreciation Night was being held, Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont were waiting for Renfield R. Renfield to show up.

“How long do you suppose Renfield is going to be at that massage parlour in Soho?” Angelique asked Amadeus.

“That will depend on whether or not Renfield ordered the Dozen For One special,” Amadeus replied.

“Do you think Renfield will keep his promise and not sing any karaoke tonight?” Angelique asked with a shudder as she recalled the riot that had ensued the last time Renfield had sung karaoke.

“I believe he will,” Amadeus nodded, “I wonder if Renfield will remember what door to come in.”

It turned out that Renfield did not.

For he wound up on stage just as the crowd was starting to chant The Old Orange Flute! The Old Orange Flute! The Old Orange Flute!

The karaoke M.C. asked Renfield, “Are you the gentleman who signed up to sing The Old Orange Flute?”.

“Um, no,” Renfield replied, “I thought when the crowd was uttering cries of The Old Orange Flute, they were calling on some Chinaman to introduce an elderly Protestant pansy from Northern Ireland.”

Amadeus winced and buried his head in his hands.

He thought to himself that Renfield with his sense of audacious political incorrectness – that if the media had given Renfield as much coverage at the start of this year’s Presidential election campaign as they had Donald Trump- that it would be Renfield and not Trump who was the President-elect of the United States.

Proving the truth of Oscar Wilde’s dictum, “It’s better to be talked about than not talked about.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 12th
2016.

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Turks In Jarablus Syria

September 8, 2016 at 1:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Turks In Jarablus Syria

Turkish forces had crossed the Turkish-Syrian border into Syria to attack the town of Jarablus.

Ostensibly Turkey claimed it had done so to wipe out ISIS forces in charge of the town.

The western news media backed Turkey’s claim.

As Russian President Vladimir Putin watched the Turkish incursion into Syria on television, he did not believe the claim.

ISIS had been cleared from the town earlier this year by Russian planes and Syrian government troops.

Putin realized that now was the time to set in motion Operation Justinian.

He was glad he had visited the Mount Athos Monastery a few months back.

For Operation Justinian would require supernatural help.

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras received a phone call from Moscow.

Although Prime Minister Tsipras being an atheistic Marxist did not believe in the existence of the Supernatural, he thought Operation Justinian was a good idea.

In his colossal London mansion, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was on the phone discussing events in Syria with the mysterious individual who called himself Robur the Conquerer (after Jules Verne’s character).

“You’re right,” Set agreed and motioned to his butler and valet Athelstan to bring him a pen, “we should set those events in motion now.”

Meanwhile on the ground outside Jarablus, Turkish soldiers noticed the ground moving up and down in mysterious fashion.

“Do you see those sand dunes moving up and down?” One soldier asked another.

“Yes,” the other soldier nodded.

Then emerged from the sandy ground were men who were half-man and half-fish (mermen -the top part was human, the bottom part was fish).

The mermen carried machine guns with them and proceeded to wipe out the Turkish troops.

Flying high above the sight was the individual Robur The Conquerer who watched the scene unfolding below.

He quietly drank a glass of bourbon mixed with human blood.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 7th
2016.

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The Falcon Cannot Hear The Falconer

March 1, 2016 at 9:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Falcon Cannot Hear The Falconer

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set walked the streets of London.

He had on a black top hat, a black cape, black pants and black boots and carried a black jackal headed walking stick.

He passed by a pawn shop which had an old television set in the window.

On the old TV, CNN’s Anderson Cooper could be seen interviewing Set’s Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering Renfield R. Renfield who was running for U.S. President despite having been created in a test tube in a genetics lab in Britain.

Renfield told Cooper, “Donald Trump is Hitler minus the moustache.”

Meanwhile Set walked down a back alley.

That’s when he noticed a man standing there urinating in the alley outside a seedy nightclub back exit door.

Set immediately recognized the man’s spiritual aura.

His right hand clenched his jackal headed walking stick.

His left hand rose like a fist of five sharp swords.

For his fingernails were very long and razor sharp (the length of his fingernails made Freddy Kreuger’s fingernails look like he had just got back from the manicurist).

The fingernails of the left hand of Set cut and ripped through the urinating man’s neck and tore his head off.

Set then kicked the severed head of the urinating man (that continued urinating despite the loss of the man’s head) down into a nearby gutter and continued walking down the alley.

The man’s head then turned into a falcon and flew away.

It flew away and flew straight over the clock tower of Big Ben over the Thames and then rose into the sky uttering a bloodcurdling cry.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 1st
2016.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher and His Camellamaroos

August 10, 2014 at 4:35 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Cadbury Rocher and His Camellamaroos

Set Enterprises’ sanity-challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was in a meeting with his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set showing off his latest genetically manufactured creation

Although the genetically manufactured creation was not present in person.

Dr. Rocher was showing off film from a Set Enterprises experimental farm at a secret location in West Africa.

“I call this creature the Camellamaroo,” Dr. Rocher smiled like a proud father.

“Camellamaroo?” Set had just got one of his vampiric fangs stuck on a kernel of caramel popcorn from the bucket of caramel popcorn he was eating.

“It’s a genetic hybrid I’ve created from the DNA of a dromedary camel, a llama and a kangaroo,” Dr. Rocher explained.

Set rang the bell on the table next to him and called out to his valet, “A toothpick please, Athelstan.”

On the screen appeared two of the Camellamaroo creatures running through desert bush.

The creature had the face and hump of a camel but the arms and feet of a kangaroo and was able to hop and jump at great speed like a kangaroo.

“Where does the llama fit in?” Set asked as he desperately tried to get the kernel of caramel popcorn off his fang.

“It’s able to spit like a llama,” Dr. Rocher grinned.

One of the camellamaroos hops up to someone and spits in their face.

“We also added the DNA of a few tobacco chewing baseball players to increase the ferocity of the spit,” Dr. Rocher beamed beatifically like a sailor in a whorehouse on a Saturday night.

“Where’s that fucking toothpick, Athelstan?” Set called out to his butler again as he started to foam at the mouth.

“Notice the reaction of the person who has just been spit at in the face by the Camellamaroo,” Dr. Rocher enthused ecstatically.

“He’s bleeding from the ears, nose and mouth,” Set reached for the toothpick handed him by Athelstan.

“Exactly,” Dr. Rocher nodded, “I threw in a significant pinch of fruit bat DNA into my Camellamaroo concoction so that it can carry and spread the Ebola virus without being affected themselves. I injected them with a super strain of Ebola virus I created in the lab so that when the virus makes contact with human beings through spit, the symptoms are immediate. Hence the bleeding from the extremities that you see in this film,” Dr. Rocher ended his lecture.

“Very well done,” Set said as he proceeded to bite into a steak sandwich- blue rare.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 9th
2014.

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