3 Hours of Darkness Over Arctic Russian Siberia

July 25, 2018 at 10:39 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

3 Hours of Darkness Over Arctic Russian Siberia

“Well, I’ve arrived back from Oxford,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield announced to his friend Amadeus Emanon as he walked through the front door of the colossal West London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where the Transhumanist parliamentarian lived.

He had a huge smile on his face as he walked through the door.

A week of blow jobs delivered by a group of sexy beautiful young female coeds at Oxford will do that to a guy.

“Did you hear about the 3 hours of total darkness over Russian Arctic Siberia in Siberia’s far north in the Russian republic of Yakutia (also called Sakha) last Friday July 20th?” Amadeus asked between mouthfuls of hot dogs 🌭.

“I heard about that while watching the BBC News App on my smart phone between mouthfuls of Desiderata performing oral healing and Lana performing oral healing,” Renfield replied with a smile 😀 brighter than the moon.

“What do you think caused that?” Amadeus asked as he spilled mustard, relish and ketchup all over his white dress shirt.

“Well, what I was told last Tuesday July 17th at Oxford in their safety deposit box room in their Archives might explain it,” Renfield blew his nose into his handkerchief emblazoned with the Whore of Babylon on it.

“And what were you told in that room?” Amadeus asked as he proceeded to wolf down 20 more hot dogs 🌭 despite the abstract painting the hot dog ingredients were now painting 🎨 on his white dress shirt.

“I’m sorry, I’m under oath not to reveal it,” Renfield replied.

“Shit, what a bummer!” Amadeus remarked as Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had another vision of the Donald Trump-Vladimir Putin meeting as he meditated while performing yoga 🧘‍♀️ in his aquarium at the Set Enterprises lab 🔬.

. . .

As Pan Goatee was in the City of Calgary assassinating more of Justin Trudeau’s supporters in the city on orders of DARPA’s acting head Dr. Faustus Imhotep as well as someone at the highest levels of the U.S. government, he was in a McDonald’s restaurant to try their new Australian 🇦🇺 Egg and Cheese Burger as part of their summer International Cuisine Menu.

It was then that he saw two ugly women sitting with some loser of a guy in a booth at the back of the restaurant.

One was a fat ugly blimp so Pan Goatee beheaded her first.

He then beheaded the thin ugly woman who was obviously visiting the city from out of town.

As for the loser male who was dating both women in the greatest horror film ménage a trois of all time, Pan Goatee pulled out a gun and blew his head off.

Pan returned to the front counter and cash register up front as a Rihanna lookalike wearing a short skirt walked through the front door and stood in line.

“Tie me kangaroo down, sport,” Pan Goatee happily sang as he picked up his Australian Egg and Cheese burger 🍔.

. . .

Amadeus Emanon noticed the combination French impressionistic and abstract Picasso cubist masterpiece he had on his previously white dress shirt.

Just then his smart phone went off.

Amadeus answered.

It was his girlfriend Angelique Dumont the New Orleans vampiress and songstress who worked in West London’s theatre district.

She had phoned to say that she wouldn’t be able to make their date tonight.

Amadeus felt relief as this shirt he was wearing was the only clean white dress shirt he had for their fancy restaurant dinner date that they had planned this evening.

Amadeus said, “Yes, definitely some other time.”

“So, why can’t Angelique make your date tonight?” Renfield asked as he returned from the kitchen where he had made himself a tuna fish sandwich.

“She ran into a woman the two of us met last Friday in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s office at Set Enterprises,” Amadeus explained, “The woman’s name is Panty Goatee and was recently genetically cloned in a DARPA lab. Apparently she was being forced to marry the Baphomet at a wedding on top of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem last Wednesday when she was rescued by a Black Jaguar. The Black Jaguar teleported both himself and Panty to Set Enterprises so that Dr. Cadbury Rocher could medically treat Miss Goatee for severe shock.
Anyways Panty Goatee underwent another shock last night when she had her first adult orgasm after she had encountered a blonde Adonis while sitting on the sidewalk steps of an entrance to a park. So Angelique is staying with her tonight.”

“Panty, what a most intriguing name,” Renfield wiped off his laptop screen with some tissues and a spray of Lemon 🍋 Pledge.

. . .

Persephone the Greek Goddess of the Underworld waits in a London cemetery as the midnight 🕛 hour approaches.

She’s awaiting the arrival of a blonde Adonis.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 25th
2018.

Permalink 21 Comments

From The Fires of Attica To The Fire Within Panty Goatee

July 24, 2018 at 10:47 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

From The Fires of Attica To The Fire Within Panty Goatee

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was absolutely furious with the efforts of the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal lifetime had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the Monophysite wife of the Emperor Justinian) to overthrow Turkish despot Recep Tayyip Erdogan the would be revised Ottoman Empire Sultan who was Lilith’s ally in the war to eventually destroy the State of Israel.

As such, Lilith decided to attack the land of the people Theodora hoped would revive the ancient Byzantine empire at Constantinople- Greece 🇬🇷.

To that end, Lilith hired the evil Centaur archer Acheronus (named after Acheron the river of woe that flowed through the Greek underworld of Hades).

Acheronus was the antithesis of Chiron the good centaur archer (he who was called the “wisest and most just of all the centaurs” and became the constellation Sagittarius in the northern hemisphere and Centaurus in the Southern Hemisphere).

Acheronus dipped his arrows in a batch of Byzantine Greek fire an incendiary weapon used by the Eastern Roman Byzantine Empire that was invented and developed in the Empire around 672 AD.

The Byzantine Greek Navy used it in naval battles to great effect.

It provided the Byzantines with an immense technological advantage and was responsible for many key Byzantine military victories most notably the salvation of Constantinople from two Arab sieges.

Lilith, who was anxious to finally avenge the death of the high priest Caiaphas (who was once her one night stand lover and the biological father of her daughter Golgotha) by the Roman Emperor Tiberius, finally managed to get her hands on all the supplies of Byzantine Greek Fire to allow the Ottoman Turkish Sultan Mehmed II to finally capture and conquer Constantinople the capital of the Byzantine Empire on May 29th 1453 thus putting an end to the Eastern Roman Empire the successor empire of Tiberius’ Roman Empire.

Saint Mary Magdalene the woman Apostle of Jesus had gone to Rome to personally tell the Emperor Tiberius about the unjustness of Jesus’ trial and how an innocent man was crucified by the Romans.

Tiberius believed the Magdalene’s story and ordered the two Jewish high priests Annas and Caiaphas to be brought to Rome for trial.

Caiaphas died on a ship outside Crete while en route for trial in Rome.

As he stood on deck, Caiaphas felt a sharp pain in his abdomen and then his bowels split open on deck.

Before his soul left him, he groaned like a wild pig.

His tongue jutted out of his mouth the length of a span.

His body was then cast to the waves where it was eaten by sharks 🦈.

Annas survived the voyage and after trial by Tiberius was sentenced by the Emperor to receive over 100 lashes and then Annas was to be wrapped in the freshly skinned hide of an antelope after which he was to be left out in the hot noonday sun ☀️ until he died.

Lilith upon hearing the news swore vengeance on the Roman Empire.

She finally got her vengeance on May 29th 1453 with the fall of Constantinople to the Ottoman Turks.

As for Lilith’s planned vengeance against Theodora, Acheronus with his bow and his Byzantine Greek Fire dipped arrows wandered through the Rafina region of eastern Attica in Greece 🇬🇷 shooting his flaming arrows.

The resulting blaze struck like a flamethrower causing smoke inhalation and skin burns.

So far 74 people have been killed and many fled past hundreds of burning cars and houses to dive into the sea 🌊 for safety.

The resulting devastation is so bad that Greece’s atheistic Marxist Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras has declared 3 days of official national mourning.

. . .

“Such a tragedy,” Donald Trump remarked as he ate lamb chops and Greek salad with feta cheese.

“Are you referring to the wildfires in Greece, Sir?” Asked Lexington his English butler and valet.

“What wildfires in Greece?” The fake hair toupee wearing opponent of fake news shrugged, “I’m talking about my poor daughter Ivanka Trump’s clothing company being forced to go out of business due to poor sales.”

“A tragedy indeed, sir,” Lexington grimaced in pain and silently prayed that there was indeed a Hell for those who truly deserve it.

“I can’t understand why more of my supporters didn’t buy her clothes,” Trump thought about shooting off an angry tweet.

“Maybe most of your supporters couldn’t afford to buy her clothes,” Lexington suggested.

“Why couldn’t they afford to buy her clothes?” Trump retorted angrily, “I could afford to buy her clothes if I ever got the urge to turn Caitlyn Jenner.”

“Saints preserve us,” Lexington crossed himself.

. . .

The Black Jaguar (possessed by the spirit of a powerful sorcerer and also the spirit of Night Sun the Mayan jaguar god of the Mayan underworld) entered the men’s washroom where he ripped to shreds a man and a boy who were in the washroom.

The human sacrifices were necessary to help bring about the coming of the Night Sun (as it was called by the Mayans), the Black Sun (as it was called by the Nazis) and Nemesis (the darkened sun that provides energy to the planet Niburu) according to some sci-fi UFO 🛸 enthusiasts.

. . .

Panty Goatee (the genetically cloned twin sister of DARPA contract assassin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee) was grateful to have been rescued by the Black Jaguar from the forced bow and arrow 🏹 (as opposed to forced shotgun) wedding in Jerusalem to the Baphomet.

Panty Goatee didn’t really relish losing her virginity to a hermaphrodite half-human half-goat creature.

She didn’t like having to walk down the aisle of chairs on the Temple Mount with a flaming arrow in her naked back that was pointed at her tender flesh by the bow of a sinister centaur named Acheronus.

Then Panty Goatee saw the man approaching and a fire 🔥 (but a sensuously pleasant one) burned inside her panties.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 24th
2018.

Permalink 27 Comments

Wedding Crashers and The Third Temple

July 19, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Wedding Crashers and The Third Temple

Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol was staying in an old English country inn on the hunt for two demonically possessed dogs who were busy terrorizing the English countryside.

He received a phone call from an Interpol operative in Israel 🇮🇱 who had an unusual matter of a paranormal nature to report.

He had seen a wedding being performed on top of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

The officiating clergyman at the wedding was recently installed Vatican Cardinal Samhain Salaman (a former professional stage magician).

The groom was Baphomet (the hermaphrodite half-human half-goat entity who was worshiped by some Knights-Templar back in the Middle Ages).

The bride was Panty Goatee the recently genetically cloned twin sister of world famous DARPA contract assassin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee.

Panty was topless at the wedding but wearing a black scarf around her shoulders that covered both her breasts as well as black leather gloves on her arms and a long red skirt instead of a white wedding dress.

On her head instead of a white bridal veil, she wore a pair of large painted black goat’s horns.

The virginal young clone Panty Goatee had been ordered to marry the Baphomet by Dr. Faustus Imhotep her boss at DARPA.

At the moment when Cardinal Samhain Salaman asked Panty Goatee, “Do you take this hermaphrodite half-man half-goat to be your legal wedded spouse from this night forward…?”.

At that moment a Black Jaguar leapt on the Temple Mount interrupting the ceremony by snarling in a form of ancient Mayan.

Cardinal Salaman felt under his cassock and pulled out a smart phone (much to best man Dr. Faustus Imhotep’s relief).

He then googled for an ancient Mayan language translation app to download but, by then, it was too late.

The Black Jaguar stood up on his hind legs and then grabbed the black scarf, black leather gloves and long red skirt wearing Panty Goatee with his front legs and then carried her off into the night of the Jerusalem dusk.

A shooting star 🌠 fell from the sky over Jerusalem.

. . .

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton was having trouble sleeping.

He decided to go downstairs to the refrigerator and pour himself a glass of milk 🥛.

As he tip toed down the stairs, he noticed his wife Hillary Rodham Clinton (the 2016 Democratic Party Presidential candidate) standing in the dimly lit living room by a black coloured burning candle and dressed in the robes of a Haitian voodoo high priestess. A group of 13 men in gray and black coloured suits, ties and jackets were kneeling on the floor in front of her paying her obeisance.

Bill very stealthily tip toed into the kitchen, quietly opened the refrigerator door and instead of a glass of milk he grabbed himself a can of Budweiser beer and equally stealthily tip toed back upstairs and into his bedroom where he quietly closed the door.

As quietly as possible, he tried to open the can, then put the beer to his lips and wondered what the Hell was going on?

. . .

Amadeus Emanon heard the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s antique phone ring in the kitchen of the colossal West London mansion.

He picked it up.

It was his good friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield calling.

Renfield was still up in Oxford.

“I’ll be in Oxford a few more days,” Renfield said as he splashed around in a hot tub with several hot looking young female Oxford summer student coeds.

“Say, I was going to ask you, why the Hell do you suppose Donald Trump invited Vladimir Putin to Washington DC this fall?” Amadeus queried.

“Well,” Renfield smiled as one of the coeds licked his kosher sausage, “the man is either fully clinically insane or if there’s method to his madness, the Jared Kushner Middle East peace plan is definitely a go and Trump would most definitely need Vladimir Putin’s backing for the plan to go ahead.”

Amadeus watched on the kitchen television as Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu officially declared Israel “the nation-state of the Jewish people” after winning a vote to do so in the Israeli Knesset.

“What do you think is going to happen next in the Middle East?” Amadeus asked.

“Well,” Renfield watched the Netanyahu announcement on the BBC News App on the Samsung Galaxy S8 smart phone located in the bikini between one coed’s two breasts, “we’ve got the U.S. Embassy now in Jerusalem, we have just had Netanyahu proclaim Israel the Nation-State (it was just State before) of the Jewish people and next on the agenda I suspect is the building of the Third Jewish Temple on the Temple Mount.”

“But won’t the Arabs object to that?” Amadeus was incredulous.

“Not necessarily,” Renfield remarked as a text message from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman came in on his smart phone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 19th
2018.

Permalink 22 Comments

The Bride of Baphomet: A Horror Poem

July 18, 2018 at 10:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Bride of Baphomet: A Horror Poem

Atargatis’ mermaid invasion of the Israeli state was called off
on the day marking death of last Czar Romanov
so this wedding could take place
for the Baphomet would not lose face
He was in Jerusalem for his wedding
while devil worshipers checked his hotel bedding
It was the day after the anniversary of Bolshevik royal slaughter
that the Baphomet would take his trip to the altar

Who was his Bride?
DARPA’s latest pride
Panty Goatee
with a cheese soufflé
her pussy could take a lot of heat
for someone minus goats’ legs and feet

And the Baphomet could lick on and on to his heart’s content
like a porno film with a Hellish bent
Pussy filled with cheese soufflé
For gourmet Eros was the order of the day

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA had given the order
while volcanoes erupted in the land of Mordor

Panty’s twin brother Pan from whom she had been genetically cloned
wouldn’t be at wedding for he hadn’t been phoned.

So he had spent the day killing ugly females
with laser machete and his razor sharp nails
For he never got a manicure
but instead lopped off heads like combine in manure
Caligula Farms
definitely had its charms
for those who let their fat cows out of the barns

Diablotron the AI god
for whom Elon Musk was a silly sod
had instructed Faustus Imhotep on the wedding
right down to the size of nanite infested bedding
It would all come together like a Lovecraft tome
this wedding of Baphomet and Panty Goatee

The union of old gods with the new
So Armageddon can come true
Saint John might Divine
with all that’s fine
but the Apocalypse
Would follow Baphomet lips
Cheese soufflé is better with a mushroom
of an atomic variety for Bride and groom

The wedding would take place on the Temple Mount
recently vacated by Dracula the Count
The old Transylvanian/Wallachian
accompanied by a single Dalmatian
had taken a recent tour of the Holy City
And said aloud, it’s all very pretty

But it was called the City of Peace for nought
for it was a place for which many had fought
It was a scene of much blood and gore
awaiting a visit by Donald the bore
But until that time
when idiocy turns sublime
This royal wedding must take place
to let blood flow in this Holy place
Sacred to religions three
like Lakota warrior’s heart at Wounded Knee
It must all end in grief and strife
amidst much taking of human life

The Bride of Baphomet awaits
the cry of Banshees and Grecian Fates
Many threads of life will be cut
while she drinks blood from a golden cup

-A horror poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday  July 18th
2018.

Permalink 13 Comments