Salaman The Magician

May 24, 2016 at 5:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Salaman The Magician

Salaman The Magician had been summoned to 10 Downing Street to meet the Prime Minister David Cameron.

“I hear you’re putting on a very successful magic show in London these days,” Cameron said to Salaman.

“I try my best, Mr. Prime Minister,” the white bearded magician smiled.

“I hear this past weekend, you had a frog leaping out from the bosom of a very beautiful woman in a low-cut evening dress and frightening Boris Johnson,” Cameron smiled.

“As much as I’d like to claim credit for what turned out to be a very upstaging event during the show,” the magician bowed his head, “alas, I was not the one responsible for that.”

“Well no matter,” Cameron got to the point, “the point is we’re having a very important guest- a foreign dignitary- staying at a castle in Scotland tonight- the castle is said to be haunted. We want you to use your magic skills to make a ghost appear to the foreign dignitary and get him to adopt the same position on a certain international issue as that held by Her Majesty’s Government here in the United Kingdom. Sorry to give you such short notice on this. But we just found out at the last moment that this gentleman is flying in for a secret conference on this issue at the said haunted castle in Scotland. We thought if anyone could put together a seemingly authentic haunting at the last moment, it would be a master magician such as yourself.”

“All right, I’ll do it,” Salaman answered when he was handed a piece of paper by Cameron stating the amount the British government was willing to pay him for staging the supposedly authentic haunting.

“Great,” Cameron shook his hand and the magician made his exit.

• • •

“Who’d have thought,” Salaman shook his head as he got into the taxi outside 10 Downing Street, “that magic shows and haunted castles would soon play an important role in international relations.”

Meanwhile over in Vietnam, Barack Obama was unaware that he was currently chatting with the actual real ghost of a Vietnamese Empress.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 24th
2016.

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Cameron’s New Diplomatic Appointment

October 16, 2014 at 5:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Cameron’s New Diplomatic Appointment

On the advice of Welsh werewolf backbench British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley given during a post-mortem debriefing on the Scottish independence referendum campaign, British Prime Minister David Cameron named William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the Scottish National Party MSP (Member of the Scottish Parliament) for the Eildon Hills to a British diplomatic post in Her Majesty’s Foreign Service.

Magog said it would be good political strategy for two reasons:

First, it would show Scottish nationalists and their electoral supporters that the British government at Westminster in London held no ill will towards them.

Second, and this was most important, Magog pointed out, that it would get a charismatic figure like William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas out of the country.

The Eildon Hills MSP was probably about the 7th or 8th most influential figure in the Scottish National Party and given the party’s loss in the independence referendum campaign, there was a possibility that he could move up in influence as some of the more senior figures in the Scottish National Party retired like Scottish First Minister and Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond had done.

And given William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas’ innate charisma, there might be no stopping the Scottish independence movement in the future, Magog had warned Cameron.

Magog understood that the post of deputy consul at the British Consulate in West Jerusalem was now available and William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas had always said he found it tragic that the embalmed heart of Robert the Bruce had never found its way to Jerusalem like Scotland’s King Robert the Bruce had requested to his friend and lieutenant Sir James Douglas before the king died on June 7th 1329.

“Therefore,” Magog said to Cameron, “William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas would now go to the city where the heart of Robert the Bruce should have been.”

British Prime Minister David Cameron used that quote of Magog Rhys Petley when he made the announcement the morning of Wednesday October 15th 2014 that he was appointing the Scottish National Party MSP for the Eildon Hills William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the new deputy consul at the British Consulate in West Jerusalem.

. . .

The mysterious figure within Mossad known as the Controller of the Golem was reflecting on a dream that an elderly rabbi at the synagogue he had attended had insisted on telling him at the previous Sabbath service.

The elderly rabbinical cleric had been a student of Kabbalah all his life and was prone to many mysterious dreams and visions.

In this dream, the rabbi said he saw the Archangel Raphael standing in a river of fishes while a river of blood flowed by on the other side.

A giant salmon leapt out of the water alongside Raphael.

The salmon went down and then a giant sturgeon leapt out of the water alongside Raphael.

A medieval knight rose out of the river of fishes and opened his suit of armour and cast his heart into the river of blood.

Spoke Raphael in the dream, “The so-called spring in the desert is but a river of blood and Israel will soon be surrounded by enemies seeking its destruction and annihilation. And when the salmon is replaced by the sturgeon, then shall a brave Scottish heart come to the Holy City and soon Israel’s enemies will themselves be destroyed.”

Bizarre dream, the Controller of the Golem thought.

The Controller of the Golem then checked a brief summary of the international news of the day.

Nicola Sturgeon had replaced Alex Salmond as leader of the Scottish National Party and was slated to become Scotland’s next First Minister.

For some reason, that item leapt out at him as he scanned the page.

He put the international news summary aside and picked up a document listing the new diplomatic appointments by other countries to the State of Israel.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 15th
2014.

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Syrian Presidential Election Announced

April 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Syrian Presidential Election Announced

British Prime Minister David Cameron sat wondering what the Hell on earth had happened to the parliamentary envoy he had sent to Russia last week- Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (although Cameron didn’t know that the man was a werewolf) who had been sent over to Moscow for secret diplomatic talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin on the Ukraine crisis.

The man Magog had just vanished on the streets of Moscow a week ago and hadn’t been seen since.

. . .

It was announced at a meeting of the Syrian Parliament in Damascus that a Presidential election in Syria would be held on June 3rd of this year.

As the announcement was made, the Syro-Phoenician Vampiress Astarte sat in Parliament and listened.

She immediately checked the messages on her smart phone and noticed that the U.S. was already condemning the election as a “parody of democracy”.

She smiled.

The Russian government had already been saying the same thing for weeks about the planned Ukrainian Presidential election set for May 25th of this year.

She licked her lips and her vampiric fangs delicately and exquisitely.

All was going according to plan.

. . .

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont was in her exclusive London apartment.

The Vampiress who was a songstress and an actress now made her career performing live on stage in theatrical productions and musicals in the theatre district of West London.

She held in her hand a message delivered by courier that was from a Park Avenue billionaire in New York City.

The billionaire had offered her $500,000 U. S. if she would sing for him at a private recital for him and a group of friends in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment next week.

Despite the high fee he was offering, she felt an extreme queasiness and unease at accepting.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 21st
2014.

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Magog En Route To Russia

April 6, 2014 at 4:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog En Route To Russia

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was flying a British Airways flight from London to Moscow.

He was on a secret diplomatic mission for the British government.

He was flying to Moscow to meet Russian President Vladimir Putin and ask him on behalf of the British government to withdraw his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.

When asked to do this by British Prime Minister David Cameron and British Foreign Secretary William Hague, Rhys Petley asked the two gentlemen, “And what should I offer Putin in return if he does do this?”.

“Use your imagination,” Hague retorted over his cup of tea.

So Magog Rhys Petley was carrying in his wallet a personally autographed copy of the official Engagement photo of Sir Elton John and his future husband David Furnish who would be wed next month under the new laws allowing same sex marriage ceremonies in England and Wales which recently took effect.

Magog would give Putin the photo if he withdrew his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.

Magog figured he owed the British government this favour.

After all the British government had intervened with the Irish government in Dublin and asked them to drop criminal charges and release the backbench British Labour MP when he was arrested during a Dublin police raid that took place in a Dublin brothel in the late evening hours of Saint Patrick’s Day.

Magog had gone to the brothel to cure his depression and anxiety attacks after he had witnessed a live Druidic human sacrifice ceremony that had taken place earlier that night near Blarney Castle.

Although the tea-toddling Dublin police sergeant who ordered the raid was immediately fired by his superiors for having the audacity to wreck Saint Patrick’s Day celebrations by doing so, Irish prosecutors decided they better prosecute those arrested in the raid.

A quick call from British Prime Minister David Cameron to Irish Taoiseach Enda Kenny (after Cameron had heard the shocking news of Rhys Petley’s arrest in a Dublin bordello) led to the charges against the Welsh MP being discreetly dropped and Magog being discreetly released.

British Labour Party leader Edward Miliband had severely reprimanded his backbench MP when he had returned to his Westminster offices.

“What were you thinking being arrested inside a Dublin bordello?”
Miliband had asked him, “Our London bordellos aren’t good enough for you?”.

And so now Magog was on his way to Moscow to ask Vladimir Putin to kindly remove his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.

Magog took a quick sip of brandy.

He sure hoped dear Vladimir liked the photo of Sir Elton John and his fiancé David Furnish.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 6th
2014.

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Magog Rhys Petley On Saint David’s Day

March 1, 2014 at 8:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley On Saint David’s Day

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley woke up on a beach in Ireland.

He wasn’t quite sure how he got there.

The last thing he remembered was being swept down a stream in Wales during a ferocious rain and windstorm.

He must have swept across the Irish Sea somehow and landed here where a beautiful red- headed Irish girl was giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

He must admit he was enjoying it.

When she had finished, he looked at his waterproof watch which was still ticking and which had the calendar date on it.

Good Lord, the atheistic Marxist thought rather ironically, it was Saint David’s Day already.

Saint David’s Day.

March 1st.

Saint David.

The Patron Saint of Wales.

A lot of his constituents would be pissed that he didn’t show for his constituency’s Saint David’s Day celebration this year.

He wondered if it would cost him his seat at the next election.

How ironic that he a staunch atheistic Marxist-Leninist (one of the few still left in the British Labour Party) might be defeated at the next election because he failed to attend a celebration honouring Wales’ most important Christian Saint.

. . .

Where the Hell was Magog Rhys Petley? British Prime Minister David Cameron wondered.

Whenever his government needed to send someone on a covert delicate diplomatic mission, they sent Magog Rhys Petley because, since he was a backbench MP from the Opposition backbenches, if he failed, the government could wash its hands of the matter saying Magog was operating on his own private initiative.

On the other hand if he succeeded then British Prime Minister David Cameron could take credit as the genius statesman who rose above partisanship and sent someone from another party to undertake a delicate diplomatic mission because he Cameron recognized the man’s ability.

Of course Magog so far hadn’t shown any ability.

The delicate diplomatic missions the British government had sent Magog on to Syria and Egypt the past few years had all been unprecedented colossal disasters.

Now Cameron was anxious to send Magog to Moscow to tell Russian President Vladimir Putin not to invade Ukraine.

And Magog had been missing for over two weeks now.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin had called the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB to his office.

For the past 10 years ever since the Orange Revolution in Kiev Ukraine in the late autumn of 2004 when Viktor Yanukovych was toppled as President of Ukraine for the first time, the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had been involved in a long running battle with Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian Intelligence Service to see who would control Ukraine- Ukrainian nationalists or pro-Russian elements?

“Miss Kireeva,” President Putin looked directly at the Russian Vampiress, “I want you to do everything in your power to kill Inna Huculak once and for all.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
on Saint David’s Day
Saturday March 1st
2014.

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The Musings of David Cameron

January 11, 2014 at 8:22 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Musings of David Cameron

British Prime Minister David Cameron thought back on the week he had.

A couple of days ago, he had had a disastrous meeting with a concert pianist- a man he thought was the Ukrainian Ambassador to London.

He hoped the man would be discreet at what he had learned regarding the United Kingdom’s agenda towards the countries that made up the former Soviet Union.

Now today he heard the news that former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had died.

Cameron couldn’t help shaking off the feeling that Sharon’s death wasn’t a portent of something bigger to come.

He looked at his watch.

Now he had a meeting with a backbench member of the British Labour Party- the Welsh MP Magog Rhys Petley.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 11th
2014.

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Vampiress Morgana Visits Renfield

January 9, 2014 at 8:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Vampiress Morgana Visits Renfield

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana knocked on the knockers of the door of the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

She was dressed in the tight brown skirted uniform of a member of the North Korean Army’s Women’s Corps.

She had recently left North Korea where she had been for celebrations marking the 31st birthday of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

Renfield R. Renfield the genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set answered the door.

He was wearing a red velvet dressing robe and smoking a pipe.

He had been in the bathtub playing with his rubber ducky and making plans for the new political party he had just founded- The British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

“Rennie,” Morgana spoke to him in an out-of-breath voice, “we need to talk.”

. . .

Elton was walking on thin ground with his employers at Special Branch.

He had blown his last 10 assignments.

One more and he was out of his job with Special Branch.

His mission today was to stand at this street corner and wait for the Ukrainian Ambassador to London to walk towards him.

He was then to put the Ukrainian Ambassador into the waiting Rolls-Royce limousine which would then drive away to an undisclosed location where the Ambassador would have a top-secret meeting with British Prime Minister David Cameron to discuss the on-going political crisis in Ukraine.

Elton was wearing pink-framed and rose-coloured sunglasses like those worn by his mother’s idol Sir Elton John (for whom he was named).

As such he had forgotten his regular eyeglasses at home.

Walking down the street was Amadeus Emanon the genetically cloned and laboratory created personal concert pianist to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (Amadeus had been cloned from the DNA of locks of hair from composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, California mass murderer Charles Manson and British actor Alan Rickman).

Amadeus just happened to be carrying a take-out dish of perogies and sour cream.

As soon as Elton caught the whiff of perogies and sour cream, he deduced that this must be the Ukrainian Ambassador and so immediately grabbed Amadeus and pushed him into the waiting Rolls-Royce limousine.

And so Amadeus was off- to an unexpected meeting with David Cameron the Prime Minister of Great Britain.

And Elton stood there on the street waving to the departing limousine- oblivious to the fact that he’d soon be out of a job.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 9th
2014.

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