Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and The Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

May 26, 2018 at 10:10 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and the Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

After Donald Trump threw a temper tantrum and pulled red spider monkeys out of his hair and cancelled the June 12th Singapore Peace Summit in an announcement this past Thursday May 24th, Kwan Yin the Asian Buddhist goddess of mercy had asked Thoth the Egyptian god of wisdom, the moon and magic along with his immortal formerly mortal companion Serena the Time Traveler to go to the Underworld realm of Hades and ask the entity Hades (known to the Romans as Pluto) to release the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles from Purgatory.

In the past, Hades normally had to consult with the earthly Pope of Rome before he could do such things but since the current Pope Francis no longer believed in Purgatory (or even Hell for that matter), he was able to immediately accede to Kwan Yin’s request.

The ghost of Orson Welles left Hades saying, “Paul Masson will sell no wine 🍷 before its time but Hades will release my ghost before my time.”

Thoth and Serena escorted Welles to the DMZ (demilitarized zone) on the Korean Peninsula where Kwan Yin gave Welles a deadline of 48 hours to arrange a surprise “Hollywood” style summit between North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Welles never followed deadlines much in his mortal life (which is why most American film studios in Hollywood became reluctant to work with him) but what he had failed to do in life, he achieved in death.

The surprise summit happened today Saturday May 26th 2018.

Also present at the surprise summit were Kwan Yin herself as well as the Chinese Communist vampiress Meiling Manchu (who had recently broken with Chinese President Xi Jinping on the grounds he had become a Mao like cult leader and total totalitarian despot) and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Kim and Moon agreed to carry on talks for a planned Singapore Peace Summit between Trump and Kim on June 12th.

Meiling and Qonzilqointec were to go to the White House in Washington DC and hold down the Trumpster while the immortal London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes tomatoed the toupee wearing blowhard’s buttocks with her whip until he agreed to go to the summit as planned.

When Moon and Kim finished their meeting, Orson Welles asked Kwan Yin if it would not be possible for his ghost to remain out of Hades for a while so he could visit London, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 of which he had fond memories.

Kwan Yin, Thoth and Serena then text messaged Hades on their Divine Celestial Samsung Galaxy 6 Billion Model Smart Phones and put in a special request for the successful director of the surprise “Hollywood” style summit in the Korean Peninsula’s demilitarized zone to spend some more time out of the realm of Hades.

Hades agreed.

He had no objections.

Especially since Welles was consuming most of the wine 🍷 available in the Underworld to the dismay of other clients and patrons.

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 26th
2018.

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Hyung Grace Kwan Meets Kim Yo-jong

February 10, 2018 at 9:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Hyung Grace Kwan Meets Kim Yo-jong

South Korean vampire huntress and National Intelligence Service agent Hyung Grace Kwan (an ex-girlfriend of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing) was meeting with Kim Yo-jong (the half-sister of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un) in her hotel room at the request of South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Both women were dressed identically in white blouses, tight black skirts and black spiked stiletto high heeled shoes.

But despite their similar attire, neither woman seemed embarrassed by wearing a similar wardrobe.

When they had finished discussing what they had to discuss, Hyung Grace Kwan smiled over her cup ☕️ of tea and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” Kim Yo-jong seemed intrigued.

Hyung walked to the door.

She opened it and in walked one of Hyung’s ancestresses the princess Kwan Yin who became an immortal and was in fact worshipped as the Buddhist mother goddess of compassion and mercy by various sects of Buddhists throughout Asia. She wore a beautiful pink coloured gown.

“Kwan Yin?” The officially atheist Kim Yo-jong looked surprised as she recognized the Buddhist mother goddess from oil paintings she had seen of her as a child, “You actually exist?”.

“Yes, my child, I do,” Kwan Yin smiled in motherly fashion.

Meanwhile in the hotel lobby, the DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was waiting to go up to the hotel room to assassinate Kim Yo-jong.

He had been ordered to do so by a higher-up in the American NSA.

He could have astral projected into her hotel room but there was some unknown supernatural power present in the hotel that was preventing him from doing so.

So he would have to wait for an opportune moment to break into the hotel room and then bump off the half-sister of Kim Jong-un.

As he waited in the hotel lobby, a contingent of North Korean 🇰🇵 female cheerleaders paraded through the lobby in their sharply attired red skirts and red spiked stiletto high heeled shoes 👠.

“How nice to see nothing but beautiful women,” Pan Goatee thought to himself, “Quite a change from North America particularly the city of Calgary where you seem to see nothing but fat ugly blimps particularly among females of that racial group that Neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klansmen consider the master race.”

When the cheerleaders were escorted and locked into their particular hotel rooms by members of a North Korean security detail, Pan Goatee decided to go upstairs and break down the door to Kim Yo-jong’s room and assassinate her.

As he walked up the stairs in his Bermuda shorts showing off his hairy goat’s legs, unbeknownst to the satyr, he was being followed by a wolf pure white in colour.

The pure white wolf also had a unique colour of eyes- Mediterranean blue.

Pan Goatee used his mind’s psychic powers to direct a flying mallet to knock out all the members of the North Korean security detail in the hallway.

Coincidentally in the hotel’s elevators at the time, the elevator music being played was the musical melody to that old Beatles song Maxwell’s Silver Hammer 🔨.

Pan Goatee kicked down the door 🚪 of Kim Yo-jong’s hotel room startling the three women inside the room.

Pan Goatee was startled himself.

He had raised his machete to cut off the head of the woman wearing the North Korean 🇰🇵 flag lapel pin when he noticed she wasn’t ugly.

His superiors at DARPA had told Pan Goatee that Kim Yo-jong was ugly in hopes that would make it easier for him to kill the North Korean despot’s sister.

“Hey, you’re not ugly,” Pan Goatee stood there frozen.

At that moment, the white wolf with blue eyes leapt into the room and bit Pan Goatee on the arm.

“Ouch, that hurts!” Pan Goatee shouted for the satyr was not used to receiving a mortal wound of any sort.

The white wolf with blue eyes then looked at the three women, turned around and left the room.

“Who was that white wolf?” Kim Yo-jong asked as one of the North Korean Women’s Orchestras played Rossini’s William Tell Overture in the hotel’s main ballroom.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 10th
2018.

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Kwan Yin, Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield and Pope Francis

September 16, 2017 at 5:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Kwan Yin, Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield and Pope Francis

Kwan Yin stood outside the Prince of Wales Hotel on Upper Waterton Lake.

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy was wearing a long flowing white dress.

But she was invisible to the Calgary Fire 🔥 Department firefighters standing guard outside the hotel.

As the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith approached in the wind driving the fire towards the hotel, Kwan Yin stood holding a lotus flower 🌺in her hand.

When Lilith, wind and fire got to within 100 metres of the Prince of Wales Hotel, Kwan Yin gently blew lotus petals off the lotus flower 🌺 in the direction of Lilith, wind and fire.

Lilith immediately fell on her ass with the fire singeing the hem of her scarlet red evening dress.

“Bitch,” Lilith fumed at Kwan Yin.

“The kraken Tutsokiua must not be allowed to arise from his sleep at the bottom of Upper Waterton Lake just yet,” Kwan Yin’s voice was the supreme melody of gentleness in feminine speech.

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy then vanished leaving Lilith to fume and smoulder along with the ashes and cinders in her hair.

. . .

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un sat in his garden surrounded by fountains, roses and piles of human skulls.

He sat on the ground in lotus position wondering how he’d ever get up again and sang a now virtually forgotten Elvis 🕺 Presley song from the mid-1960s,

“Tell me just how can I take this yoga serious
When all it ever gives to me is a pain in my posterior-us…”

Kim Jong-un made a mental note to himself to have his yoga instructor shot the next day.

In his right hand, he held a daisy flower.

The dictator was awaiting the arrival of Ahriman the Persian Zoroastrian god of evil.

As he waited, Kim pulled a petal off the daisy, saying about Donald Trump, “He loves me…”

Then with the next daisy petal pulled off, he’d say, “He loves me not…”

By the time Ahriman finally arrived, Kim had pulled the final petal off the daisy, “He loves me not…”

. . .

“What’s on your mind, Dracul?” The British Transhumanist Member of Parliament Renfield R. Renfield asked the Canadian vampire hunter.

“Well,” Dracul Van Helsing responded, “I was at a site last night which had a link that I clicked on and the link was to the on-line papal encyclical Laudato Si. It was getting late so I only read the first few paragraphs.
Now I’ve read many other Papal Encyclicals before- those written by Leo XIII, St. Pius X, Pope Pius XI, Pope Pius XII, St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI.
And I must say after reading the first few paragraphs of Pope Francis’ Laudato Si, I felt like I was reading the opening paragraphs of a badly written Grade 7 Junior High School essay rather than the opening paragraphs of a papal encyclical.”

“Maybe in Pope Francis’ case, they amount to the same thing,” Renfield suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 16th
2017.

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