Xi Jinping Plans To Bang Italian Harlot In Shanghai While Continuing With His World Domination Plans

December 19, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Communist China’s paramount leader the evil megalomaniac Xi Jinping was talking to his Supernaturnal entity advisor the Black Dragon who had emerged from a black hole in the Andromeda Galaxy eons ago.

“Heilong,” Xi asked the Black Dragon, “What’s the name of that airheaded Italian harlot I always bang whenever I visit Shanghai?”.

“That would be Ambra Schilliro the Italian Commie journalist and Babylonianish harlot social butterfly who flutters around on her Social Cloud spreading Chinese Communist Party Public Relations (what British MP Renfield R. Renfield refers to as Neo-Maoist propaganda and bullshit) in the countries of China, Italy, the U.S. and Korea.”

Xi putting on a fertilizer cologne, “Yes, that’s the one. Book me an appointment with her for tonight.”

“But I understand 666 members of the Shanghai branch of the CCP had booked to bang her in one massive gang bang tonight,” Heilong pointed out.

“Well, put them on hold,” Xi foamed, “As always happens to me when I use my Huawei phone these days. I had to break down and start using Samsung.”

A PLA soldier approaches Xi, “Your Almightiness, we regret to report that our People’s Red Army just got our asses kicked by India’s Army on the India-China border again.”

“Well cover it up like we did before,” Xi barked.

Later in Shanghai, Xi paid a visit to the Italian harlot Ambra Schilliro.

He inserted his organ into Ambra’s mouth.

“Think of it as sucking on an egg roll,” Xi said neglecting to mention that egg rolls were a lot larger.

He then inserted it into the orifice between her front legs.

And then inserted it into the orifice between her back legs.

And then inserted it into her left nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 test,” Xi had said.

He then inserted it into her right nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 re-test,” Xi pontificated.

He then inserted it into her right ear.

“Think of it as a wax cleaning,” Xi smiled.

He then inserted it into her left ear as he remarked, “More wax cleaning.”

Heilong had put on dark sunglasses as he watched the spectacle.

“That Italian harlot,” Heilong noted, “seems to be getting as many orifices penetrated as Procopius the Byzantine historian (and secretary to the Byzantine general Belisarius) noted happened to Justinian’s wife the Empress Theodora in Procopius’ Secret History.”

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who had dropped into Shanghai to pick up an order of Shanghai Fried Rice) overheard Heilong’s remarks and said, “Everything Procopius wrote about me is a lie.”


Theodora: Everything Procopius wrote about her is a lie

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 19th
2020.

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Lilith Leads Turkish Plane To Shoot Down Armenian Jet

September 29, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was in a bad mood.

Yesterday in Ravenna, some supernatural soldiers she tried to recruit to fight for the Azeris against Armenia in the Nagorno-Karabakh Conflict came down with serious ailments.

Thanks to the skullduggery of her arch enemy the Byzantine vampiress Theodora in offering an impromptu offer on free spicy pumpkin lattes, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow had his carved jack o’ lantern pumpkin head ripped off his shoulders.

The Six Vampiric Knights-Templars had their eyes sprayed with garlic spray (as opposed to pepper spray) by Mulligan the Irish zombie who was working as a manservant to the Byzantine vampiress (he was on loan from the London art gallery curator and art dealer Dashwood Forrest).

Furious upon hearing the news, Lilith sprouted her vampiress bat wings and flew to Turkey.

After a meeting with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, she went to a military base where the pilot of a Turkish F-16 was instructed to follow her.

The vampiress bat wing sprouting Lilith flew right into Armenian air space.

60 kilometres (37 miles) into Armenian airspace.

There she encountered an Armenian fighter jet – a Soviet made SU-25.

Distracting the Armenian SU-25 pilot with her ability to shoot spider webs out of her long red fingernails, the pilot of the Turkish F-16 used the momentary distraction to shoot the Armenian jet down.

Sadly the Armenian pilot was killed.

Naturally Turkey denied the claim that it had shot down an Armenian plane in Armenian airspace.

Back at his Presidential Palace in Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdogan was looking at his reflection in the mirror and modelling the robes he would wear when he crowned himself Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire.

In London, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was giving a speech in the Westminster House of Commons while Sir Winston Churchill’s ghost sat in the public gallery looking on approvingly.

“How long will it be before Britain and Europe take a firm stand against Erdogan and his bullying? Today it will be Armenia. Tomorrow it will be Greece and Bulgaria. Erdogan is such that he will seek to reverse the results of the 1683 Battle of the Gates of Vienna if he can,” said Renfield.

Renfield’s speech fell on deaf ears.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 29th
2020.

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The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora In Ravenna

September 28, 2020 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


The Byzantine vampiress Theodora in Ravenna Italy – the city that was the capital of Byzantine Italy from 540 AD to 751 AD.

Theodora when in Istanbul yesterday had managed to talk the Transylvanian Count Dracula (aka the Wallachian Prince Vlad Dracula) into going to Armenia and fighting the Azeris over the territory of Nagorno-Karabakh (Nagorno is a Russian word meaning “Mountainous” and Karabakh is the Russian rendering of an Azeri word meaning “Black Garden”. Armenians call the territory Artsakh an ancient Armenian name for the area).

A recently retired Israeli Mossad agent (whose code name was the Controller of the Golem) joined Dracula in fighting alongside the Armenians.

Theodora had come to Ravenna because she had heard that her arch enemy the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was planning to come to the city to meet with six Vampiric Knights-Templar and their Hessian mercenary ally Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden (better known to the world as the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow).

Lilith was hoping to get the six Vampiric Knights-Templar and the Headless Horseman to fight alongside the Azeris in the Nagorno-Karabakh Conflict.

The six Vampiric Knights-Templar and the Headless Horseman had helped Allatallahbel the vampiress Priestess of Baal (who was an ally of Lilith) seize control of the Vatican back on Friday October 13th 2017.

An event that had not been covered by the mainstream Marxist media in the Western world and they had no excuse of a Covid-1984 plandemic (which they’re always yacking about in this year of 2020) not to have covered the story.

Theodora sat waiting for the Headless Horseman to ride by riding his zombie black horse Bucephalus Reborn that he apparently did at this time of day.

She knew that on this day he’d be riding to meet Lilith.

Theodora meanwhile had put up signs around the city’s cafes and restauraunts that said SORRY, WE’RE ALL OUT OF PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE.

Theodora’s assistant Mulligan the Irish Zombie (whom she had rented from London art gallery curator and dealer Dashwood Forrest) stood not far from her with a coffee stand.

As Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow came riding along with his carved jack o’ lantern pumpkin head, Theodora shouted in Italian to people passing by, “Free pumpkin spice latte if you help yourself to the nearest piece of pumpkin that you can see and bring it over to Mulligan’s Coffee Stand where he’ll make it for you.”

The hapless Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow found himself being charged at by a large group of people who ripped off his pumpkin head and fought over pieces of it before taking slices over to Mulligan’s Coffee Stand.

The Headless Horseman would be unavailable for his meeting with Lilith.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 28th
2020.

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Theodora vs. Lilith: Armenia-Azerbaijan Conflict

September 27, 2020 at 9:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora and the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith have been involved in their own personal conflict for the past 20 years.

Now that personal conflict has been extended to the former Soviet republics of Armenia and Azerbaijan over the territory of Nagorno-Karabakh.

Earlier today the conflict re-erupted with the heaviest clashes in years.

Today’s fighting involved the use of tanks and other forms of heavy weaponry.

Armenia and Azerbaijan have been fighting for control of the territory since the USSR was dissolved back in 1991.

A ceasefire was agreed in 1994 although there has been sporadic fighting on and off since then.

Though nothing compared to today’s exchange of heavy weapons fire.

Nagorno-Karabakh was an autonomous region within the old Soviet republic of Azerbaijan but the majority of the territory’s population is ethnic Armenian.

When Armenia and Azerbaijan became independent republics, the territory’s Armenians wanted the region to become part of Armenia.

A war was fought leading to one million people being displaced and 30,000 killed.

A stalemate has presided since the 1994 ceasefire.

This past summer Turkey’s increasingly megalomaniacal President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (who fancies himself the new Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire) had been encouraging Azerbaijan in its efforts to take back Nagorno-Karabakh.

Erdogan’s support emboldened Azerbaijan.

Armenia’s defence ministry said Azerbaijani forces launched an attack on civilian settlements including the regional capital of Stepanakert this morning.

Armenia’s government declared total military mobilization of its forces.

Armenian Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan warned that the region was on the brink of a large scale war.

In the basement of his house in Wilmington Delaware, senility prone Joe Biden asked his marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia, “How will World War III affect my chances of getting elected President of the United States?” before falling fast asleep into his bowl of Kellogg’s Fruit Loops.

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora hoped to get rid of Erdogan and restore the Byzantine Empire with Constantinople (Istanbul) as its capital.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith meanwhile was hoping to get Turkey’s Erdogan on board with launching an attack on the State of Israel (Lilith believed that the Jewish people had maligned and libeled her good name in the Babylonian Talmud and so was out for revenge).

Theodora spent much of the past summer beating up Erdogan for turning Byzantine Orthodox Christian churches and monasteries into Islamic mosques.

Lilith spent much of the past summer giving Erdogan blow jobs so that he’d be orally pleasured into attacking Israel.

Since Erdogan backed Azerbaijan in the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict, Lilith did the same.

And since Erdogan backed Azerbaijan in the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict, Theodora backed Armenia.


The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (wearing Dr. Cadbury Rocher developed sunscreen for vampiresses) in Constantinople: She backs the Armenians.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 27th
2020.

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Renfield Ends His Podcast With A Song

August 23, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, News, Songs, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Sunday night livestream video podcast analyzing geopolitical affairs and current events.

Tonight he decided to end his podcast by singing a song.

He came down to the last item before singing a song,

“Last night my best sources in Istanbul tell me that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian the Great) beat the crap out of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for turning a former Orthodox Byzantine Christian monastery into an Islamic mosque.
She couldn’t have beat the entire crap out of him because if she had, there wouldn’t have been much left of him. If she had beat the entire crap out of him, they could have buried him in a cigar box.”

Renfield then broke into a song.

It was a country music song in which Renfield gave a stirring country musical rendition – a combination of the voices of Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers and Marty Robbins rolled into one.

Sang Renfield,

“When the moo cows, when they make milk,
It’s the only milk I do adore,
When the moon shines over the cow shed,
I hope the cows are making plenty more…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 23rd
2020.

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Theodora On Eve of Hagia Sophia Caliphate Service

July 23, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

A reporter asked British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “Mr. Renfield, when Lenin seized power in Russia in late 1917, he said there would be people in the West who would inadvertently aid the Bolshevik cause. Lenin said that such people are “useful idiots”. With the Neo-Bolshevik insurgency that you say is currently going on in the U.S., who would you say fits the category of “useful idiots” this week?”.

“Well, I would say that group of people who call themselves the Wall of Moms in Portland Oregon are the #1 prime contenders,” Renfield answered.

“Speaking of Portland Oregon, what do you think of Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler being hit by tear gas from federal agents last night?” Another reporter asked.

“Well, thank God it hit him and not some poor innocent bystander,” Renfield replied.

“What do you think of most of the news media in the U.S. saying that Trump is just sending armed and camouflaged federal agents into burned out and criminally infested U.S. cities to help his re-election in November since he botched the Covid crisis?” a third reporter asked.

“If he doesn’t send federal agents in to quell the insurgency in various U.S. cities and the Neo-Bolsheviks take power, there won’t be an election in November,” Renfield pointed out, “If the U.S. media actually studied history instead of cheering on and applauding these young anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who are trying to erase it, they’d look at Lincoln’s actions prior to and at the start of the U.S. Civil War including unilaterally suspending the Writ of habeas corpus.
He also ordered every single member of the Maryland state legislature arrested to prevent Maryland seceding from the Union and joining the Confederacy.”

. . .

The British cabinet held a secret meeting to discuss the mysterious murder of backbench British Conservative MP Paul Sebastian Moran.

His body was found in the Thames River this morning sporting a huge bullet hole in his chest.

The cabinet was worried that the Russians might be responsible and since a report critical of the way the UK government had seriously underestimated the threat from Russia had just been released, Mr. Moran’s untimely murder might lead the British public to conclude that the UK government was inept.

Therefore it was agreed by cabinet to issue a statement that Paul Sebastian Moran MP had died as a result of Covid-19 rather than a gunshot wound.

There was precedent in the world for this.

A Florida motorcyclist who had been killed in a motorcycle accident recently had had his death listed as being caused by Covid-19.

Besides both the WHO and disease control agencies throughout the world were only too happy to inflate Covid-19 death numbers.

. . .

Tomorrow the Hagia Sophia would be holding its first Friday prayer service as a mosque since 1931.

And the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian who had built the Hagia Sophia as a Byzantine Orthodox Christian cathedral back in 537 AD) was absolutely livid with rage about it.

She entered the residence of the man who had been selected to be the first prayer service leader for a mosque Friday prayer service at Hagia Sophia.

And she completely drained his body of blood.

Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would-be Sultan of a revised Ottoman Empire) would have to find another Friday prayer service leader.


Byzantine vampiress Theodora: Tonight’s victim wouldn’t have a prayer this coming Friday.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 23rd
2020.

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Fire At Nantes

July 19, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

London private eye Agathor Christie (a former British Conservative MP) had been hired by the Kraken Napoleon VI the leader of the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party to determine if yesterday’s fire at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul in Nantes was deliberately set.

“What are you doing hiring an English private eye to investigate this?” The Kraken’s wife Medusa (the ex-Gorgon) asked him, “Don’t you think that French police authorities will be able to get to the bottom of the matter?”.

The Kraken (who had spent the weekend binge watching Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau Pink Panther movies) answered in the negative.

Christie (who was the great-nephew by marriage of the famous mystery writer Agatha Christie) spent some time researching the background of Nantes Cathedral.

Construction began on the cathedral in 1434 and took 457 years to complete finally being finished in 1891.

Christie found out from talking to Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal London dominatrix who was the lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) that her brother had attended the official dedication of the cathedral upon its completion in 1891.

When he returned to London from Paris, Sherlock had told Sherrielock that while in the cathedral he had run into his imaginary talking bear friend Doctor Clawson whom he had not seen in 21 years.

The last time Sherlock had seen Doctor Clawson was when the young Sherlock had lost his virginity at age 16 years in the Scottish Highlands valley of Glencoe.

Sherrielock thought her brother had once again been resorting to the seven per cent solution of cocaine.

As Agathor Christie helped himself to a bag of Mr. Christie Cookies (a popular Canadian brand of cookies), he decided to rent the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s dirigible airship and fly over to Nantes France that way rather than visiting an airport in these virus prone times.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher had received a mysterious email telling him that the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone (a basilisk that he had genetically created) who had been slain in the Libyan desert and later cooked in Chef Gordon Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen in London had been raised from the dead by Set’s nephew Horus who used an ancient Egyptian spell to accomplish the feat.

. . .

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora was shocked when she heard the news that there had been a fire caused by possible arson at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul in Nantes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 19th
2020.

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Byzantine Vampiress Theodora Declares War On Erdogan

July 10, 2020 at 10:34 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )


The Byzantine vampiress Theodora in a shipping magnate’s apartment overlooking Istanbul’s Golden Horn harbour.

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian the First also known as Justinian the Great) was sitting in the apartment of a Greek shipping tycoon (who claimed to be a Turkish shipping tycoon and had changed his name from Greek to Turkish) that overlooked Istanbul’s Golden Horn harbour.

Theodora was looking calm and serene despite the upsetting news that she had heard today.

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (a man whom Theodora referred to as the “Sultan of Hemmorhoids”) was going to change the Hagia Sophia from a museum back into a mosque.

The Hagia Sophia had been built originally back in 537 AD as a Byzantine Orthodox Christian Cathedral and basilica by Theodora’s husband the Emperor Justinian.

The Greek name Hagia Sophia means in English Holy Wisdom.

Then in 1453 when the Byzantine Empire’s capital of Constantinople (what is now called modern day Istanbul) fell into the hands of the Ottoman Turks led by Sultan Mehmed II, Hagia Sophia was turned into a mosque.

It remained a mosque until 1934 when it was turned into a musem by modern Turkey’s secular leader Kemal Ataturk.

Now Erdogan who fancied himself a would-be Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire and the would-be Caliph of a revived Islamic caliphate planned to turn the Hagia Sophia back into a mosque.

In a victory for Erdogan, Turkey’s top administrative court the Council of State had recently anulled the site’s museum status.

So Erdogan was now moving full speed ahead (against the fiery hot-blooded iceberg that was the Byzantine vampiress Theodora) in turning Hagia Sophia into a mosque.

Now Theodora wanted Erdogan overthrown, Constantinople turned back into the capital of a revived Byzantine Empire and Hagia Sophia restored to being a Christian cathedral and basilica.

To that purpose, she had called a high-ranking Greek army officer (whose Theodoran code name was Dimitrios) and a high-ranking Russian Army officer (whose Theodoran code name was Alexis) to this apartment to discuss their plans.

“I may have trouble getting much of the Greek Army to our cause,” Dimitrios remarked as he sipped a glass of Ouzo.

“I likewise might have trouble getting much of the Russian Army to our cause,” Alexis remarked as he sipped a glass of vodka.

“It seems,” Theodora sighed sadly, “that the only people who manage to get things organized and done these days are the Communists. A PLA engineered bioweapon manages to leak from the Wuhan Institute of Virology and send the whole world into chaos. The Communists in the WHO continue to manage or mismanage the chaos. The Communist controlled United Nations wants to impose a global Marxist government as the “new normal” in the post-Covid world while a Communist Pope in the Vatican cheers them on. Most U.S. Democratic party politicians in America covertly (and in many cases overtly) seek to turn that country into a new Soviet Union with Antifa and Black Lives Matter operatives acting as the insurrectionary terrorist vanguard of the emerging Soviet state.”

“Well, if you could get Hades and Persephone to release the ghost of the great Byzantine general Belisarius to lead the attack on Istanbul, this would probably get my country’s Army behind the cause,” Alexis noted.

Dimitrios added that this would likewise be the case with the Greek Army.

“Well, I’ll try to get Belisarius released but not his legal advisor the historian Procopius,” Theodora sipped a glass of champagne.


Byzantine vampiress Theodora: Will try to get General Belisarius’ ghost released from the Underworld

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 10th
2020.

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From The AntiOdysseus To The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora

June 22, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol was examining some photographs of a group calling itself The AntiOdysseus and His Antiheroes rolling in a giant wooden statue of The Baphomet into the Vatican overnight.

The operation took place hours before Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI returned to the Vatican from Regensburg in Bavaria.

Whitstable was also examining some material not related to the Omega Files Section of Interpol (which was the Interpol equivalent of the FBI’s fictonal X-Files Section from the popular Chris Carter TV series of the 1990s).

He was looking at some photos of the ongoing rioting, looting, vandalism and arsons in the U.S.

In Chicago, there had been 99 shootings this past weekend. 12 people had been killed including a 3-year-old girl when someone shot at her parents’ car as it drove down the street.

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was outraged.

Not because of the violence but because Chicago Alderman Raymond Lopez had today released an audiotape of a city council meeting on May 31st in which Mayor Lightfoot said that Alderman Lopez was full of shit for saying that rioting and looting had been going on in his neighbourhood.

The same Lori Lightfoot who a month ago had been caught on audiotape recorded by a journalist saying that all Chicago city civil servants should take an oath to the New World Order.

Renfield R. Renfield had left Whitstable a note with the material saying, “This is what happens to a city when you elect a nutcase as your Mayor.’

Whitstable was now reading that over 1500 buildings had been burnt down in Minneapolis since the rioting, looting and arsons had begun there almost a month ago.

In Louisville, Kentucky, much of the city’s downtown had been burnt.

Statues were being torn down in various cities across the country now.

And in Saint Louis, Missouri, Neo-Bolshevik revolutionaries were demanding that the city’s name be changed as they found a city being named after a French Catholic Saint personally offensive.

Whitstable turned to the European assault file where he found out that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had recently been beaten up by the Byzantine vampiress Theodora for wanting to turn the former Hagia Sophia Cathedral into a mosque again.

The Hagia Sophia had been built as a Byzantine Christian Cathedral by Theodora’s husband the Byzantine Emperor Justinian back in the 6th Century.

It had been turned into a mosque in 1453 after the city of Constantinople had fallen to the Turks.

It had been turned into a museum by Turkey’s secular leader Kemal Ataturk back in the 1930s.

Now Erdogan wanted to turn it into a mosque again.

Theodora wanted to see it revert to being a Byzantine cathedral so she beat Erdogan up.

Whitstable looked at the most recent photo of the Byzantine vampiress Theodora.

It was probably one of the best looking mugshots he had ever seen, Whitstable mused.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 22nd
2020.

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Harvey Tallbanger and The Ex-Empress Theodora

July 1, 2019 at 11:09 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger and The Ex-Empress Theodora

“Tell me where that bunny rabbit is!” Theodora demanded of the CSIS operative.

After leaving the G-20 Summit in Osaka Japan, Set Enterprises’ secret agent and spy the 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger decided to return to the United Kingdom by flying east rather than west.

He decided he’d visit Canada on the way back to London and stop off in Ottawa to attend Canada Day celebrations in the nation’s capital.

While walking around downtown Ottawa, he decided to visit a lounge in Ottawa’s Chateau Laurier Hotel to have a drink.

He walked up to the bar and pushed the ON button on his ViewMaster so the bartender could see him.

After ordering a Tequila Sunrise, he picked up the drink when it was made and went over and sat in a quiet booth where he pushed the OFF button on his ViewMaster so he was once again invisible.

Sitting up at the bar was a secret agent for CSIS (the Canadian Security Intelligence Service).

The man’s name was Bert Yorkshire and he had just been assigned the task of flying to the People’s Republic of China to try and rescue Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant who was being held hostage by Chinese authorities in exchange for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canadian custody.

After being assigned such a ridiculous assignment, Yorkshire came to this lounge in the Chateau Laurier and had been having half a dozen Harvey Wallbangers to drown his sorrows.

The end result of having that drink was he saw Harvey Tallbanger sitting in the booth by himself.
Yorkshire went over to talk to the exceptionally tall bunny rabbit.

Harvey and the CSIS operative chatted for a while.

Harvey gave him the room number of the hotel he was staying in and then left the lounge to partake in Canada Day celebrations.

It happened by chance that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been Byzantine Empress and the wife of Emperor Justinian I) was visiting Ottawa.

She had heard from the Greek Embassy in Ottawa that Harvey Tallbanger the tall invisible bunny rabbit secret agent from the United Kingdom was in town.

She was anxious to meet the dashing invisible bunny.

She walked around Ottawa, stopped to listen to someone singing an old Frank Sinatra song and then headed in the direction of the Chateau Laurier Hotel.

She went to the lounge where she heard the bartender say that a customer had been talking to an invisible bunny rabbit in the lounge.

She asked the bartender if she knew the man and the bartender replied that he had charged his tab to his room in the Chateau Laurier.

In exchange for being able to look down the low-cut front of her dress and getting a nice look at her magnificent cleavage, the bartender gave her Bert Yorkshire’s room number.

Theodora later accosted Bert Yorkshire in his hotel room demanding, “Tell me where that bunny rabbit is!”.

Will Bert Yorkshire revealing Harvey Tallbanger’s whereabouts to Theodora be like opening up Pandora’s box on the deck of the ship Flying Dutchman?

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Monday July 1st
2019.

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