Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation Part 2

May 20, 2017 at 3:42 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“The reason,” Miranda the mermaid looked at Nathan the Controller of the Golem, “that the mermaid goddess Atargatis wants to destroy Israel is because of her daughter Semiramis. Semiramis has formed an alliance with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who, of course, has always wanted to destroy Israel and the Jews because she claims that the Babylonian Talmud maligned and libeled her good name.”

“Yes, Lilith once poisoned my Scotch whisky with polonium-210 while I was sitting in a London pub,” Nathan recalled, “it was Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher who saved my life with an antidote to polonium-210 that he invented.”

“I heard about that, Nathan,” Miranda looked at him sympathetically.

“But what caused Semiramis to form an alliance with Lilith?” Nathan asked.

“Her first husband Nimrod returned to Earth a few years ago aboard a UFO with a bunch of ET grays,” Miranda explained, “and the ship crashed near Tuktoyaktuk, Canada north of the Arctic Circle. Nimrod’s body was recovered and taken to a secret lab near Washington DC. Lilith stole Nimrod’s body and brought him back to life. Only the magic kiss Lilith used to bring Nimrod back to life went awry and the princely ruler of ancient Babel was turned into a little green frog. He now hangs out between the breasts of Lilith in her low-cut evening dresses.”

“Sounds like Nimrod has become every teen-aged boy’s fantasy come true,” Nathan thought aloud to himself.

“Is it every human teen boy’s fantasy to be like Kermit the Frog?” Miranda looked quizzically at Nathan.

“Um… no,” Nathan shook his head. “so I take it that Semiramis has formed an alliance with Lilith since Nimrod has become (ahem!) so close to Lilith.”

“That is correct,” Miranda nodded.

“And Atargatis in turn has naturally joined in alliance with her daughter Semiramis who’s aligned with Lilith,” Nathan was beginning to see the light.

The morning sun peered through the aquarium lab’s windows.

Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia, U.S. President Donald Trump had arrived with First Lady Melania Trump.
Donald and Melania Trump
Donald: I didn’t see any mermaids down in the desert sands of Saudi Arabia.

Melania: That’s probably because they’re swimming in the ocean.

Over in London, vampire hunter and MI-6 operative Dracul Van Helsing had received a phone call from Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Dracul,” Whitstable began, “I’ve been doing some research on the famous 17th Century Jesuit scholar Father Athanasius Kircher. He apparently had in his possession some ancient Greek mechanism that was the equivalent of our analogue computers.It also served as an orrery to predict astronomical positions and eclipses. But according to the diary entry of Father Kircher’s I’ve come across, the mechanism could also be used to locate mermaids. Sadly the mechanism disappeared on the night of Father Kircher’s death.”

“You know what, Peter,” Dracul leafed through the pages of his ancestor Captain Dante Van Helsing’s journal, “I have an idea where that mechanism is now.”

“Where?” Whitstable asked.

“It’s now called the Antikythera Mechanism and it’s to be found in the National Archaeological Museum in Athens, Greece.” Van Helsing answered.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 20th
2017.

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Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation

May 19, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The mermaid who called herself Miranda had once again awakened in the salt water tank in the Israeli government aquatics laboratory in Tel Aviv.

The Controller of the Golem (a Mossad agent who went by that code name) came down to see her.

“Nice to see you awake, Miranda,” the Controller brought her roses wondering if a mermaid would like them.

She did.

She smelled them and smiled.

“Thank you, Nathan,” she said once again calling him by his first name known to few outside Mossad or the Israeli Prime Minister’s office.

“You’re welcome,” Nathan smiled at her.

Then she turned serious, “I landed on the beach at Tel Aviv to warn you and your people.”

“Warn us about what?” Nathan asked.

“The goddess Atargatis ancestress of all mermaids wants to destroy your nation,” Miranda looked grim.

Nathan knew his classical Near Eastern mythology.

Atargatis was a northern Syria goddess.

She was called Derketo by the Greeks and Dea Syriae by the Romans.

The goddess Atargatis fell in love with a mortal (a shepherd) and had a child by him- Semiramis.

One cruel day, Atargatis unintentionally killed her love and the father of her child.

Ashamed, she flung herself into a lake near Ashkelon and was turned into the form of a fish but the waters could not conceal her divine beauty.Thereafter she took the form of a mermaid- human above the waist, fish below.

Atargatis’ daughter Semiramis became a legendary Assyrian queen and was said to have been married to the biblical Nimrod (founder of Babel) and later Ninus (founder of the city of Nineveh).

A 19th Century Free Church of Scotland minister Alexander Hislop had several wet dreams about Semiramis inspiring him to label the Roman Catholic Church the Whore of Babylon and to write a book about the subject called The Two Babylons.

Nathan’s thoughts of his Ph.D Program in Classical Mythology at Cambridge University returned to the present.

“Why,” Nathan asked Miranda, “does the mermaid goddess Atargatis want to destroy Israel?”.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was flying en route to Saudi Arabia when he was handed an NSA report that certain mermaids were plotting to destroy Israel.

Trump was angry when he read the report.

“How,” Trump blew both his top and his toupee, “am I supposed to tweet about this? Especially after I just called former FBI director James Comey a real nut job? And especially in lieu of the fact that polls indicate that some Americans think I’m off my rocker myself?”.

. . .

Dracul Van Helsing was reading the journal of one of his 17th Century ancestors Captain Dante Van Helsing.

The journal had been found floating in a wooden chest on the Aegian Sea after his ancestor’s ship The Virgil went down on his final voyage.

The last entry said that Dante had been turned on by the sight of sirens singing on a rock.

When he neared the rock, a mermaid who called herself Thessalonike of Macedon appeared.

Dracul knew that according to history, Thessalonike of Macedon was the half-sister of Alexander the Great.

According to legend, Alexander had found the Fountain of Immortality and had filled a flask of water from it.

He washed his sister’s hair with the flask.

When Alexander died, his grief-stricken sister threw herself into the sea.

Instead of drowning, she became an immortal mermaid.

When she encountered sailors, she always asked them the same question, “Is Alexander the king alive?”.

The correct answer in her opinion would be, “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”

If given this answer, she would allow the crew and their ship to sail safely away in calm seas.

Any other answer would send her into a rage and she’d cause the waves to send the ship and every sailor on board to the bottom.

The journal entry ended with Dante saying that Thessalonike had just appeared.

Obviously Dante’s answer of Thessalonike’s question was not to her liking.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 19th
2017.

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Captain Dante Van Helsing and Qonzilqointec

May 17, 2017 at 4:08 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The date was May 17th 1687.

And the notorious pirate Captain Dante Van Helsing (an ancestor of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing) was far from his home town of Amsterdam.

He was sailing the Caribbean which was his favourite sea for piracy.

Captain Dante Van Helsing had formed an alliance with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

She was anxious to see Spanish ships raided and sunk as vengeance for the Spanish conquering her Aztec Empire in Mexico.

Captain Dante Van Helsing did these raids on Spanish ships gladly.

And Qonzilqointec would pay Dante back in her bedroom at night.

But then another pirate came into the Caribbean.

A pirate who sailed a Chinese junk ship and called himself Wo Fat.

But despite dressing and looking the part of a Chinese pirate, the individual was really an Englishman and a defrocked Jesuit priest named Alfred Loisy George Tyrrell.

He was defrocked for claiming that Antipope John XXIII (who was himself the notorious pirate Baldassarre Cossa in his early life) who reigned from 1410 to 1415 was in fact a true Pope.

Wo Fat (as he now called himself) after being kicked out of the Jesuit order stole an ancient Greek analogue computer and orrery that was in the possession of one of his Jesuit confreres Father Athanasius Kircher.

He stole the mechanism from Father Kircher’s room on the evening of the latter’s death on November 28th 1680.

Wo Fat used the device to navigate and determine the position of the ships that he raided.

Qonzilqointec spotted the device while flying around as a vampire bat on his ship one night.

She alerted Captain Dante Van Helsing to the existence of the device..

Van Helsing said, “I must have it.”

So Qonzilqointec flew on to Wo Fat’s ship The Albatross and promptly changed from a bat into her alluring vampiric female form.

She brought several good bottles of coconut rum lifted to her from a row boat rowed by Dante.

She went into Wo Fat’s cabin,

After plying him with several goblets of coconut rum and rubbing his bald head against her magnificent bosom

Qonzilqointec With Wo Fat

…. Wo Fat fell asleep.

Whereupon Qonzilqointec stole the device.

She then gave it to Captain Dante Van Helsing on the night of May 17th 1687.

Van Helsing returned home to Amsterdam where he was forced by his parents to marry a good Dutch girl.

“No more running around with these exotic foreign women,” his father had said to him.

So Dante Van Helsing married, settled down, became a maker of Dutch wooden shoes and had four children.

Finally bored to tears, he decided to make one more voyage.

This time to the Aegean Sea.

While there, he encountered a group of alluring looking sirens on a rock near the Greek island of Antikythera.

His ship The Virgil sank.

And went down to the bottom of the sea alongside an earlier Roman era shipwreck.

The Virgil was torn apart by mermaids.

Only Dante’s mysterious mechanism (that Qonzilqointec had pirated away from the pseudo-Chinese pirate Wo Fat) was left behind.

The mechanism was recovered on May 17th 1902.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 17th
2017.

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