Renfield’s TV Commercial For Enterprise Rent-A-Car

November 22, 2019 at 11:53 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Satire, Science-Fiction, TV Commercials, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s TV Commercial For Enterprise Rent-A-Car

Tonight’s candidates’ debate in the Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency wasn’t really a formal debate.

It was more of a get to know the candidates’ night in which each candidate talked about their hobbies or their interests outside politics.

When it was Renfield’s turn to speak, he said his hobby was writing TV commercials.

Said Renfield, “I just wrote a commercial for a North American car rental company Enterprise Rent-A-Car which was filmed today and company executives are currently debating whether to air it on television.”

Amadeus Emanon (who was sitting in the audience) groaned.

He had had previous experience watching some of Renfield’s TV commercials.

“And now I would ask the hall technician to play the video,” Renfield grinned, “You’ll get a sneak peak of that TV commercial which will hopefully be shown in North America soon.”

The video played and it showed actor William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk wearing the exact same Starfleet uniform that he probably wore in the original 1960s TV series Star Trek.

Clothes he had very much since outgrown.

“Hi,” said a smiling William Shatner, “I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise speaking to you on behalf of Enterprise Rent-A-Car. I’m filling in for my friend Patrick Warburton the usual Enterprise spokesman who’s come down with acute laryngitis ever since he won first place in a Greta Thunberg voice impersonation contest a few nights ago…”

Amadeus sank lower in his chair.

Captain Kirk walked among the cars at the Enterprise Rent-A-Car lot, “Whenever I visit Earth, I use Enterprise Rent-A-Car to get around.
I’ve been Captain of the Starship Enterprise for over 60 years now and I’ve been using Enterprise Rent-A-Car for almost as long. People keep telling me that I should have retired years ago and the way I no longer fit into this Starfleet uniform, perhaps they’re right. I seem to have gone well beyond middle aged paunch in terms of my weight…”

The button on Captain Kirk’s black pants burst and he’s forced to use one of his hands to hold it up.

“Yesterday I rented a car from Enterprise Rent-A-Car to drive to Ottawa where I received the Order of Canada from Canada’s Governor-General at Rideau Hall in Ottawa. Then I rented another car from Enterprise this morning to drive to Washington DC to meet with Donald Trump and tell him that the planet Xenuthalu had concluded its investigation and found no evidence of wrongdoing by Joe Biden or his son Hunter. So Trump, although disappointed, gave the order to no longer hold up nuclear arms sales to the planet. The missiles are now well on their way…”

Kirk looks at his Starship Enterprise smart phone, “Oh-oh. I just got a text message from Mr. Spock saying that the planet Xenuthalu has just signed an alliance treaty with the Klingons.”

Kirk drops the smart phone and bends over to pick it up.

A loud ripping sound from the back of his pants can be heard.

Kirk speaking into his smart phone communicator, “Quick. Beam me up, Scotty.”

Kirk is quickly beamed up just as the Rev. Pat Robertson gets out of one of the Enterprise vehicles.

Says Rev. Robertson, “Oh my God. The Rapture has just occurred. Why am I still here?”.

Robertson in a panic screams, “Why am I still here? You forgot about me, Lord. You forgot about me. Your most important, noble and humble servant you’ve left behind. You’ve forgot about me, Lord. You’ve forgot about me.”

Robertson continues to scream, “You forgot about me, Lord. You forgot about me” as the ad announcer says, “Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Choose your vehicle. Choose your destination.”

The commercial was a hit with Tewkesbury voters.

Not so much with Enterprise corporate executives in America.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 22nd
2019.

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Haiku Inspired By Original Star Trek

September 4, 2013 at 7:10 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku Inspired By Original Star Trek

Space the last frontier
Kirk and Spock seeking new worlds
a great enterprise

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Alien Frequencies and Pan Goatee

July 18, 2013 at 12:59 am (Mystery, Mystery/horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The reptilian Captain of the alien spacecraft sat in his chair aboard the central deck and looked at the screen.

 

There was planet Earth.

 

The captain who looked like Captan James T. Kirk on a bad hair day and an even worse skin day said, “Increase the frequency.”

 

The frequency was increased.

 

 

                                      *             *         *

 

 

Pan Goatee was feeling the vibe as he slashed to death the diners in the Chinese restaurant in London.

 

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it,” he screamed in ecstasy as he slashed a Chinese gentleman and his British friend to death thus putting an end to the argument over who was going to pay the bill.

 

 

 

To be continued.

 

 

 

 

-A vampire novel chapter

 written by Christopher

 Wednesday July 17th 2013.

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