The Kraken Rises Off Israel

May 25, 2019 at 9:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Kraken Napoleon VI had got an urgent text message on his smart phone.

It was from Miranda the mermaid.

It was imperative that she meet him on the beaches of Tel Aviv, Israel.

“It must be something very important,” the Kraken thought to himself as he watched a TV commercial with the Greek god Poseidon advertising McDonald’s Restaurants current special of fresh Atlantic Fish and Chips.

It was a sad day the Kraken thought to himself when even the Olympians were selling out to American corporate conglomerates.

The Kraken was going to let his wife Medusa know where he was going but she was currently engaged in a leg wrestling match with the Egyptian vampiress Isis on the floor of Quasimodo’s Cafe in Paris.

Their slit skirted and black silk nylon legs wrapped around one another’s throats would have sent the Irish Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg and his Greek Norse fantasy writer friend Hyperion Sturm into sheer frenzy had they walked through the cafe at that moment.

The Kraken decided to text message Medusa the news later.

The Kraken hopped on his skateboard and skateboarded all the way from Paris down to the port city of Marseille.

From Marseille, he planned to swim all the way across the Mediterranean to Tel Aviv to meet with mermaid Miranda.

The Kraken had a slight delay in Marseille when he was attacked by a giant piece of seaweed who tried to eat him.

It was fortunate for the Kraken that he had ordered the Giant Spinach Salad for dinner at Quasimodo’s Cafe in Paris because the spinach had made him super strong like Popeye the Sailorman.

The Kraken ripped apart the killer seaweed and was able to swim away before the seaweed grew back together again.

After doing 4 simultaneous breast strokes with his 8 arms, the Kraken was soon in sight of the beaches of Tel Aviv.

The Kraken decided to dive underwater and then rise up again in order to make a grand and impressive entrance on to the beach.

He dove and then rose again.

As he rose, he brought up the Russian Navy submarine The Pride of Saint Petersburg (that had been doing surveillance work up and down the coast of Israel) on his head.

Wearing the submarine like a hat on his head, he stepped on to the beach and announced to Miranda the Mermaid that he had arrived.

. . .

A group of tourists were on the beach at Cefalu, Sicily.

Only a week earlier, a young 7-year-old female sperm whale had been found dead on that beach.

Its stomach was full of plastic bags and other plastic objects that had caused her death.

Now the bozo group of tourists on the beach were littering it with plastic bottles, plastic cups and plastic straws after their huge gluttonous picnic and beach party.

The Celtic stag god Cernunnos emerged from the hills above the beach carrying his crossbow and poisoned arrows.

The horned stag quickly fired poisoned arrows into the huge crowd of plastic littering bozos killing them all.

The Greek god Ares who had been walking along the beach likewise threw down a huge plastic cup and plastic straw.

Cernunnos fired a poisoned arrow marked MADE IN PARIS into Ares’ Achilles heel.

The Greek god of war fell on to the beach crying out, “I hate it when that happens.”

. . .

Allatallahbell the Vampiress Priestess of Baal would be meeting in the Vatican Gardens today with Medusa’s sisters Sthenno and Euryale.

In the meantime she was performing a sacrifice to Baal in one of the side chapels in the Vatican.

As Allatallahbell was busy sacrificing to Baal, Pope Francis was strolling through the Vatican grounds.

A couple of days earlier, Pope Francis had given a talk to a group of people on one of his favourite topics the God of Surprises.

The God of Surprises always reminded him of the boxes of Cracker Jack popcorn that he bought as a kid which always had a prize inside.

His friend Samhain Cardinal Salaman had just found a shop in Rome which sold Cracker Jack popcorn.

Pope Francis walked through the Vatican contentedly munching on the molasses-flavoured and caramel-coated popcorn which came from the box with the pictures of Sailor Jack and his dog Bingo on it.

He wondered what prize lay for him at the bottom of the box.

What did the god of surprises have in store for him?

With that thought in mind, he walked into the Vatican Gardens where there stood Sthenno and Euryale the sisters of Medusa:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 25th
2019.

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The Mysterious Bavarian Crossbow Murders

May 13, 2019 at 10:16 pm (Aesthetics, Avatar Speaks, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was investigating some mysterious murders committed with a crossbow in Bavaria.

The strange deaths happened in a rural hotel near the Bavarian town of Passau.

Two women and a man were found in bed impaled with several arrows.

Whitstable had been brought in to investigate on the off chance that the crossbow killer was the Celtic horned stag god Cernunnos in which case such a paranormal killer would fall under Whitstable’s jurisdiction.

Whitstable had just read a text message on his smart phone that satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had just beheaded the ugly female manager of the store where the homicidally uglocidally incined half-man half-goat did his grocery shopping.

“I can’t believe,” Whitstable shook his head, “that the owners of the store would be so stupid as to hire an ugly looking woman as a manager at the place where Goatee does his grocery shopping.”

Oh well, Whitstable reflected, Calgary cowboys were famous for the fancy spurs on their cowboy boots and their bull legged way of walking not for their brains.

Getting back to the case at hand, Whitstable was not positive that Cernunnos was responsible for the crossbow murders at the hotel in Bavaria.

Cernunnos first appeared on the Interpol radar as a crossbow killer a couple of years ago when he shot and killed a group of wealthy hunters in the United Kingdom who were on an illegal deer hunt.

Then on a freelance mission for British MP Renfield R. Renfield last year, Cernunnos had used his crossbow to fire a poisoned arrow into the testicles of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

If the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith hadn’t been on the scene to immediately suck the poison out, the Russian leader would have died.

Afterwards Lilith took her blue evening dress to a steam dry laundry cleaner in Moscow which boasted of its superiority to steam dry laundry cleaners in Washington DC.

So far, other than the fact that the murders were done by crossbow, there was little to connect Cernunnos to this particular crime.

. . .

In the corridors of the Vatican, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was discussing an Israeli government document with another Cardinal.

“Does Netanyahu really intend to go ahead with this?” Salaman asked the other Cardinal.

“Netanyahu thinks he can count on the unqualified support of Donald Trump,” the other Cardinal answered.

Just then, a being who was part man and part deer having a large set of stag horns and antlers on his head and wearing a mask over his eyes came walking down the halls of the Vatican carrying a crossbow and arrow.

The crossbow carrying being with stag horns fired an arrow at the Cardinal standing next to Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

“Oh, I am slain,” the Cardinal said as he keeled over.

“You certainly are,” Cardinal Salaman remarked as the man died in his arms.

The crossbow carrying deer/man ran off as distant pan pipes played the melody Tomorrow Belongs To Me from the musical Cabaret.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 13th
2019.

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Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka, Kraken Tutsokiua and Mother Goddess Gaia

January 26, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


The immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka stood on the shores of Upper Waterton Lake in Waterton Lakes National Park in southern Alberta on the Alberta-Montana Canada-U.S. border.

Accompanied by her two spirit wolf protectors, she held in her hand a transparent glowing red apple.

As she held the strange looking fruit in her hands, she spoke to the West Wind (who could not be seen but whose presence could be felt), “The kraken Tutsokiua (Tutsokiua is the Blackfoot First Nations word for “devil” -Editor’s note) has awakened from its sleep at the bottom of this lake where it has slept for the past 5000 years.”

The West Wind stopped in its tracks.

“And it has been giving these supposed apples of knowledge to various people,” Tanaka spoke in a whisper.

The West Wind let out a wild howl to which the immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka’s two spirit wolf protectors raised their ears but did not answer in reply.

. . .

A group of wealthy and powerful influential U.S. Republican party figures were out hunting deer on this particular day.

Hunting deer out of season.

As one Republican fired at a doe and her fawn, at the very same instant the spirit of the Mycenaean king Agamemnon let out an anguished cry while roasting on his spit down in Tartarus.

The group of Republicans moved in for a closer look.

To see if the doe had been slain.

As they moved in, they saw the one-eyed Germanic god Wotan standing there.

From a distance, the Celtic horned god Cernunnos (part human and part stag) fired at them with his crossbow.

“Shit,” Wotan cried as he fell backwards with the arrow stuck in his one good eye.

. . .

The Greek god Zeus was in the office of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

On speaker phone for the meeting were Russian President Vladimir Putin, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani and Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

“By the way,” Zeus spoke in the manner of general chit chat, “did you know that the mother goddess Gaia who is the caretaker of earth is in fact not Greek but Lakota Sioux?”.

Gaia is Lakota Sioux.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
January 26th 2019.

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The Camp Fire of Cthulhu: A Poem

November 15, 2018 at 11:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Cthulhu had recently started fires in northern California
now tired of this particular spectacle
Cthulhu swung around continents and across oceans
Past straits and across seas to the eastern Mediterranean shore
There he noticed Zeus’ Kraken Scion of Apollyon burrowing into tunnels
in the Gaza Strip

The fallen Archangel Samael
The Talmudic angel of death
The Satan mentioned in the Book of Job
(that one time it wasn’t the Satan who is also Lucifer the Devil)
A former angelic prosecuting attorney
and a Prime Minister in the celestial realms of Heaven
turned Transgendered back in 1931
and went to live in Mexico
where he is worshipped as Santa Muerte (the female but really Transgendered Saint Death) the god and deity of drug dealers
and drug gangs throughout the Americas
Recently Samael Satan Santa Muerte took a holiday in Israel
and showed up as a snake in the cracks of the Western Wall
on the Temple Mount
and chased a pigeon trying to eat it

Not one to eat pigeon pie or humble pie
the Celtic stag god Cernunnos went hunting in Europe
he hunted humans and killed them
and made trophies of their heads and drank their blood
and said, “I have seen the future and it’s me.”

-An occultic poem
written by Christopher
Thursday November 15th
2018

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Reblog of La Coco Mojo Trobada

October 14, 2018 at 10:46 pm (Folklore, Literature, Mythology, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , )

David Redpath makes it with a succubus who’s a daughter of Cernunnos the Horned God in Celtic mythology.

As Pope Francis might put it, you can’t keep a good Stang down.

David Redpath

Looking for hidden treasure
in the doing of serious leisure
at the most exotic Coco Mojo bar
As that coral sea
just keeps glistening
in the tropical sun
I’m ordering yet another
mango mojito
whilst listening to Mojo JuJu
singing that native tongue

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Dracul and Morgana, Renfield and Demi Lovato

May 1, 2018 at 10:44 pm (Avatar Speaks, Culture, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, International Intrigue, love, Movies, Music, music videos, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, videos) (, , , , , , , , )

Dracul and Morgana, Renfield and Demi Lovato

The Welsh vampiress Morgana (British Member of Parliament for the constituency of Newbridge in Wales) was walking through Sherwood Forest in Nottinghamshire.

The reason being that she heard the Celtic horned stag god Cernunnos used Sherwood Forest for target 🎯 practice for his archery 🏹 skills firing his arrow and crossbow at deer 🦌 hunters and various animal poachers.

She had always wanted to meet this famous Celtic god.

Thanks to a special sunblock invented for her by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher, she was now able to walk around in the daylight without being quite literally fried to a crisp.

Somewhat tired from walking, Morgana sat down on an old leaf 🍃 clustered tree stump:

https://pin.it/lloi6gtopglhcg

Dracul Van Helsing (also walking through the forest) spotted her and took note of what she was wearing.

“Hello, Morgana,” he smiled, “how are you?”.

“Dracul,” Morgana flashed him a warm smile and raised the hem of her already short skirt, “what are you doing here?”.

“I’m walking through Sherwood Forest contemplating that this was the spot where Robin Hood used to make out with Maid Marian,” Dracul stated.

Morgana lay back on the soft clustered leaves 🍃 and held out her arms to embrace Dracul, “And should I be your Marian to your Robin?”.

Dracul mounted her, “We’ll show Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland how it was done.”

As Dracul and Morgana made out in Sherwood Forest in an orgiastic celebration of May Day (known as the Festival of Beltane on the old Celtic calendar), a voyeuristically inclined photographer tried to take shots of the Welsh MP and the Canadian vampire hunter making out.

He found himself being shot himself- by an arrow fired from the crossbow of Cernunnos.

The voyeur paparazzi was killed instantly.

“I’ll probably be dying for a cigarette several hours from now,” Morgana moaned in ecstasy.

. . .

Donald Trump held his hand under his suit vest in Napoleonic fashion and remarked to his valet Lexington “I can’t believe there are some psychiatrists out there who are starting to question my sanity.”

“It definitely boggles the mind, sir,” Lexington admitted, “I know it certainly boggles mine.”

“On the positive side,” Trump took off all his clothes leaving on only a pair of leopard skin briefs and proceeding to swing on the branch of an artificial African jungle tree in the Oval Office, “South Korean President Moon Jae-in thinks I deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.”

“And are psychiatrists starting to question Moon Jae-in’s sanity?” Lexington asked.

“I don’t know,” Trump shrugged while still swinging, “And what about you, Lexington? Do YOU think I deserve the Nobel Peace Prize?”.

“Well, sir,” Lexington remarked, “Seeing as how you received the Stormy Daniels Piece Prize, perhaps it might be a good thing if you went after a more noble peace prize.”

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield was dreaming about singer Demi Lovato.

Before bedtime, he had watched the Demi Lovato and Luis Fonzi music video Echame La Culpa.

He had developed such a hard on after seeing Demi Lovato wearing a red mini dress and black silk fishnet pantyhose that he had to massage his erection down with a sledge hammer.

Little did he realize that this action would save his life.

A group of Japanese ninja assassins who had been hired by Russian President Vladimir Putin and Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to assassinate the thorn in their side troublesome British MP watched the spectacle outside Renfield’s bedroom window.

They were so taken aback 😮 by the sight of a man hitting his most sensitive private part that way that they turned and fled and quickly jumped over the high fence of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London estate.

Meanwhile Renfield’s blanket took on the shape of a pole tent ⛺️ as the MP dreamed of Demi Lovato wearing that red mini dress and black silk fishnet pantyhose.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 1st
2018.

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The Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec, Turkey’s Tyrant, Raúl Castro’s Successor and The Neo-Nazi Billionaire

April 18, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec, Turkey’s Tyrant, Raúl Castro’s Successor and A Neo-Nazi Billionaire

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was on her way to meet Raúl Castro’s handpicked successor Miguel Díaz-Canel in the Cuban 🇨🇺 capital of Havana.

Pic of Qonzilqointec on her way to meet Cuba’s next President Miguel Díaz-Canel:

https://pin.it/gpw5o3ygkufczk

She was meeting with the new leader to see if he was going to become a total despot like Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro who was Hugo Chavez’s successor (she was already plotting Maduro’s overthrow with Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill).

On her way to meet Díaz-Canel, she ran into her lover Dracul Van Helsing who was in Havana to monitor the suspicious activities of the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike.

(For more on the background of Robur Pike, please read:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2016/10/08/nazi-scientist-eckhart-fromm-and-his-attempt-at-human-genetic-cloning/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/02/02/robur-the-conquerer-ii-in-havana/

)

When Dracul saw the sexy and sensual Aztec vampiress wearing her topless gold mini dress, he asked her how much of a hurry she was in to meet Miguel Díaz-Canel.

She adjusted her skirt and replied that she might have a few hours to spare.

So she went to Dracul’s hotel room and spent the next several hours making wild passionate love to him.

. . .

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had left an extremely nasty comment on British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Facebook page.

The comment was in retaliation for Renfield arranging the circumstances whereby the Celtic horned god Cernunnos was busy killing Turkish soldiers who were undertaking a genocidal campaign against the Kurds in the Afrin region of northwestern Syria 🇸🇾.

An hour later, Russian President Vladimir Putin likewise posted a nasty comment on Renfield’s Facebook page.

The remark was in retaliation for Cernunnos likewise killing Russian soldiers at a base in Syria.

“So,” Sir Winston Churchill’s ghost remarked as he chewed on the tip of his spectral cigar and sipped from his spectral glass of brandy, “I see the fascist despot Erdogan has brought forward the date of presidential and parliamentary elections in Turkey 🇹🇷 from November 2019 to this coming June 24th.”

“I guess considering the bad shape Turkey’s economy is in thanks to the fascist despot’s misrule and the defeat that Prince Vlad Dracula, Cernunnos, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora and the Israeli Controller of The Golem will soon inflict on Turkish forces in Syria, Erdogan figures he better call the election now so he can hurry up and pave the way to make himself Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire,” Renfield remarked.

“I fear that’s very much the case,” Churchill frowned.

“If only I could find a way to convince Theresa May to start a campaign to get that bum kicked out of NATO,” Renfield rubbed his chin. 🤔

. . .

German Chancellor Angela Merkel was in her office when suddenly the ancient Egyptian frog 🐸 headed god Kek appeared to her.

“Sweet Jesus,” she said in language designed to offend any pagan deity, “did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like that Internet meme Pepe the Frog 🐸?”.

“So I’ve been told,” Kek’s tongue wrestled with Mrs. Merkel’s Venus fly trap office plant for control of a fly to eat.

“What are you doing here in Germany?” Mrs. Merkel asked.

“Well having spent several days visiting the fascists and Neo-Nazis in the alt-right movement in the U.S., I’m now visiting the fascists and neo-Nazis in the anti-immigrant and anti-foreigner AfD (Alternative fur Deutschland),” Kek smiled as he licked his lips after eating both the Venus fly trap and the fly.

“Germany will never succumb to Naziism again,” said Mrs. Merkel.

“There is a man called Robur Pike who says otherwise,” Kek belched with the sound and fury of an Egyptian god of chaos.

“Who’s Robur Pike?” Mrs. Merkel asked.

Kek laughed and laughed until he had an amphibian bowel movement of massive proportions.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 18th
2018.

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A Stag Party Like No Other

April 17, 2018 at 10:42 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

A Stag Party Like No Other

Russian soldiers at a base in Syria were nervous.

They had heard reports that a deer 🦌 stag of all things was massacring Turkish soldiers in the Afrin region of northwestern Syria by standing up on its hind legs and firing a rapidly moving crossbow with poisonous arrows at them.

The arrows would paralyze the soldiers and then take 24 hours for the poison to work to eventually kill them.

In the meantime, the soldiers would die a painfully agonizing death as the organs in their bodies gradually shut down.

The government of Recep Tayyip Erdogan in Ankara tried to keep the deaths secret from the Turkish public.

But someone had hacked into the Turkish television newsfeed and was reporting the deaths live to the Turkish people.

The news reports were read aloud by a talking robot 🤖 who called himself Hans.

The reports would begin with the robot singing (to the tune of an old 1950s Danny Kaye song), “I’m Hans Pagan Henderson… that’s me.”

After showing some speeded up video of Turkish soldiers dying a long lasting slow horrible agonizing death, film footage was then shown of the deer stag standing on its hind legs and shooting the soldiers with its rapidly firing cross bow.

As the footage of the stag and its cross bow was being shown, Hans the robot 🤖 sang (also to the tune of an old 1950s Danny Kaye song):

Wonderful, wonderful poisoned 🤢 arrow
fired by a beautiful stag
you hit your mark
sends a fiery spark ⚡️
through the body part
a fatal stinging dart 🎯
that sends one screaming “No more”
yet hours ‘til you reach death’s door.

No one was sure who it was that was hacking into the Turkish television feed.

Although there were suspicions.

After Hans’ news broadcasts, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was seen in an elegant armchair by a fireplace holding a glass of cognac and doing an introduction to a TV series he called Forgotten Disney Animated Cartoons.

“On tonight’s episode,” Renfield smiled, “Bambi’s father (killed in an automobile accident) comes back from the dead. The name of the cartoon: Bambi II- Thumper Recites The Necronomicon Resurrection Invocation.”

The Russian base was on edge when a soldier turned on the TV and Thumper was seen reciting a weird invocation in a strange and sinister sounding language.

And then suddenly what sounded like an arrow hit the door of the barracks.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 17th
2018.

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The Feast of The Beast 2018

March 23, 2018 at 10:23 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Feast of The Beast 2018

Desiree was 16 years old.

She obviously did not pay much attention to current Hollywood news.

Because while walking the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a limousine pulled up.

The limousine’s back window rolled down and an older man- a well known Hollywood actor- invited her into the limo for a ride.

If she knew her Hollywood news, she’d have realized that Hollywood was crawling with a lot of perverts.

Later Desiree in her blue mini dress found herself tied to a sacrificial altar beneath a statue of the Baphomet inside the Hollywood actor’s mansion.

“What are you doing?” Desiree shouted.

“I’m sacrificing you to Baphomet,” the actor replied and lowered his knife and slit her throat and did just that.

. . .

“Lexington,” Donald Trump called for his English butler and valet.

“What is it, sir?” Lexington asked.

“A charcoal burnt human hand just crawled across the floor by itself,” Trump said.

“No need to worry, sir,” Lexington went to the closet, “I’ll use a Swiffer Wet Jet to wash the floor.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Trump reflected, “and find out whose hand it is. I’m going to fire that person in a tweet.”

. . .

Two scientists were conducting an evening test at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.

One scientist remarked to the other, “That seems to be a very realistic looking statue of Shiva the Transformer by the door.”

“Yes, it is,” the other scientist agreed.

Suddenly there was an explosion 💥 from the tunnel tube.

A huge hole opened up and out walked the multi armed goddess Kali.

She went up and kissed the statue of Shiva.

“I think,” said the scientist to his fellow researcher, “the next time they decide to erect the statue of a god on Collider grounds, they better hire a sculptor who specializes in a more abstract form of sculpture.”

. . .

Prince Vlad Dracula, the Byzantine Vampiress Theodora (who was the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Emperor Justinian in her mortal life) and the Israeli Mossad agent the Controller of The Golem had just captured a group of Turkish officers who were leading Turkish troops against their allies the Kurds.

“I think we should hand these Turkish officers over to British MP Renfield R. Renfield for interrogation,” said Dracula.

“I agree,” Theodora started wiping the blood off her gown with a towel soaked in Tide laundry detergent.

“Renfield can be quite ruthless in his interrogations,” noted the Controller of The Golem.

Theodora played on her iPhone a recent speech given by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in which he called on the 57 member state Organization of The Islamic Conference to unite as one army and destroy the State of Israel 🇮🇱.

“Hand them over to Renfield,” the Controller agreed.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was out deer 🦌 hunting on a country estate just north of Moscow.

Putin stumbled across what he thought was a stag with a very impressive set of antlers.

And in one way it was.

For the stag was actually Cernunnos the horned Celtic god of animals and the underworld.

Cernunnos stood up on its hind legs and with a crossbow it carried in its forearms it fired an arrow which moved with rapid lightning speed.

The arrow struck Putin in the forehead and the Russian leader fell to the ground.

Later at the nearby dacha where Putin was taken, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was awakened and informed what happened.

“A stag with a rapid firing crossbow did this, you say?” She asked one of Putin’s fellow hunters who nodded, “That was no ordinary stag. That was Cernunnos the horned god of the Celtic pantheon. The arrow was poison tipped and the poison is now in Putin’s bloodstream. I must suck all the blood out and replace it with my own in order for him to live.”

“But how will you live then?” Asked the bodyguard.

“Thank you for your sacrifice for your Motherland and your leader,” Lilith bit him on the neck and drained all his blood which she then spit out and put in a large glass container and put in the freezer for safekeeping.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 23rd
2018.

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Feast of The Beast 2017

March 23, 2017 at 6:06 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard showed Peter Whitstable (the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol) the video that had been shot in England’s Sherwood Forest in the early morning hours of the day.

“These men of course were involved in an illegal out of season hunt for which they’ll be charged- those who are still alive that is,” Depp explained, “but look what happens in the video.”

The hunters encounter a stag.

As the men raised their rifles, the stag stands up on its hind legs and in its forearms it carries a crossbow which it fires with lightning speed.

The arrows immediately kill 11 of the 13 huntsmen and leave the other two wounded.

“Who filmed the video?” Whitstable asked.

“Good question,” said Depp, “we have no idea. The video was left at the scene after a mysterious phone call to local police.”

“Interesting,” Whitstable looked at the video again.

“With your investigation of the unusual and the preternatural, have you ever encountered such a phenomenon?” Depp asked, “A stag firing a crossbow with rapid fire arrows (faster than bullets) at a group of hunters?”.

“I’ve heard rumours of it,” said Whitstable, “and from a painting I once saw in the Vatican Archives that dates back to the 15th Century, I believe I know who the stag is.”

“A 15th Century painting in the Vatican Archives lets you know who this stag is?” Depp was incredulous.

“It’s Cernunnos the horned Celtic god of animals and the underworld,” Whitstable explained.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 23rd
2017.

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