Pan Goatee, The Coronavirus and Cthulhu

February 8, 2020 at 11:42 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee, The Coronavirus and Cthulhu

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was sitting in his neighbourhood food court trying to enjoy his slice of pizza when an ugly looking school girl walked by.

Goatee (who had recently recovered from tennis elbow) thought to himself, “Ugly looking girls grow up to become ugly looking women.”

He grabbed his astral laser machete and said to the little uglo, “What do they teach you in the public school system these days? Obviously no appreciation for beauty.”

He beheaded her and a group of rats then gathered around and ate her.

The rats (brought to life from the 1971 American horror film Willard) then went outside to vomit.

The uglo girl’s older brother was wearing a hockey jersey number sweater for a hockey team and a hockey player that Pan Goatee didn’t like so he beheaded him as well.

He then tried to enjoy the rest of his pizza but then a whole bunch of ugly looking school girls (who looked like they were auditioning for a remake of that horrible early 2010s sit com Ugly Betty which should have been advertised as a horror film called Night of The Aesthetically Challenged Living Dead) entered the food court.

“What the Hell is happening to our public school system?” Goatee expressed the earnest anguish of a concerned citizen and public school system taxpayer as he beheaded the hideously repulsive young uglos, “I blame John Dewey the father of so-called progressive education for this. Since he advocated throwing out the teaching of history, these uglos have no knowledge of the culture of the ancient Greeks where beauty was all important. Because beauty is certainly not important to these young degenerates.”

Rats then came and ate the uglos’ remains and vomited en masse outside.

Goatee then went outside where some idiot with horrendously lousy taste in music seemed quite anxious to share his lousy taste in music with the rest of the world by playing it at full blast on his car loud speaker.

Goatee beheaded the musical Philistine in a dramatic re-enactment of David beheading the original Philistine Goliath after the giant fell to earth over the young shepherd boy’s sling and stone throwing talents.

Goatee put the musical Philistine’s head on a sign at a nearby McDonald’s drive-through adding a surprise feature to the intercom voice that posed the question, “May I take your order please?”.

. . .

“May I take your order please?” The representative of Gilead Sciences Inc. asked the representative from the People’s Liberation Army Biological Warfare Unit in Wuhan, China.

The PLA member pulled out his gun and blew the Gilead Sciences sales representative to kingdom come.

On Thursday February 6th 2020, the Wuhan Institute of Virology announced that they had applied for a Chinese patent on Gilead’s Remdesevir for treating the novel coronavirus (2019- nCoV) that originated in Wuhan China in late 2019.

Gilead Sciences is a research-based biopharmaceutical company that was started 33 years ago in 1987 and has its international headquarters in Foster City, California.

Among its major investors had been Donald Rumsfeld (who was later to serve as Secretary of Defence under U.S. President George W. Bush).

Gilead is a curious name for a biopharmaceutical company.

For in the Bible in Jeremiah Chapter 8 verse 22, the question is posed, “Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there?” and the response is in Jeremiah Chapter 46, verses 2 and 11, “This is the message of The Lord against the Pharaoh Neco… Go up to Gilead and get balm, oh Virgin Daughter of Egypt, but you multiply remedies in vain; here is no healing for you.”

Jeremiah Chapter 22 verse 6 where God calls the house of Judah by the name Gilead, He says, “yet surely I will make thee a wilderness and cities which are not inhabited.”

Today the city of Wuhan China a city of 11 million people (that’s 2 million more in population than the city of New York) looks like a virtual ghost town being in lockdown over the coronavirus.

Why would a biopharmaceutical company call itself Gilead when the Bible says, “There is no balm in Gilead. There is no healing in Gilead.” ?

There is an 1854 hymn by Washington Glass called The Sinner’s Cure which says, “There is balm in Gilead, to make the wounded whole” but that was due to a misinterpretation of an earlier hymn by John Newton in 1779 which actually referred to Jesus as a healing balm not Gilead.

Biblically speaking, there is no healing balm in Gilead.

. . .

Cthulhu rises
The coronavirus comes
Death rides a pale horse

. . .

-A vampire novel chapter
and a haiku 
written by Christopher
Saturday February 8th
2020.

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Meng Wanzhou and The Strange Case of The Yankee Idiot Who Poked A Sleeping Dragon In The Eye

January 28, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )


Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou, the Chinese telecom giant Huawei and its affiliates in the U.S. and Hong Kong have had 13 criminal charges filed against them by the U.S. Department of Justice.

Earlier today, America’s bald non-toupee wearing (as opposed to the Twitterer-In-Chief) Acting Attorney-General Matthew Whitaker announced 13 criminal charges against Meng and other Huawei executives.

The BBC sent its news anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy to interview British MP Renfield R. Renfield about the story.

As Geeta sat there in an arm chair and looked at her notes, MP Renfield sat in a hot tub smoking a cigar, drinking a bottle of l’Hertier de Jean Fremicourt brandy and getting blow jobs from 3 very sexy and shapely Japanese Dragon Sister porn stars.

“You know,” Renfield remarked as he blew smoke rings, “the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill often tells me that he wished he had thought of this in his mortal life time.”

“Well yes, moving right along now,” Geeta smoothed her skirt and looked at the monitor, “what is your first comment on the U.S. government’s formal charges against Meng and Huawei?”.

“Jesus Christ,” Renfield gasped.

He then looked at Geeta, “But in answer to your question, I’d first like to comment on Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s firing of John McCallum the Canadian Ambassador to China this past weekend for telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the whole Meng Wanzhou affair. This is proof positive that “Truth and diplomacy do not walk together hand in hand” to quote that new adage I just coined.”

“I notice,” Geeta read from her notes as Renfield sat there in the hot tub with an immensely huge smile on his face, “that China’s state-run Global Times newspaper has called the government in Ottawa a “frightened bird” and used a rather colourful ancient Chinese folk saying to describe Canada’s “immoral actions”. ”

“And what was the rather colourful ancient Chinese folk saying?” Renfield asked as he once again rose to the occasion.

” “You cannot live the life of a whore and expect a monument to your chastity” the unnamed author of the op-ed apparently wrote,” Geeta answered in reply to Renfield’s question.

“Gees, that’s pretty damned good,” Renfield bit off the end of his cigar, “I wish I had said that.”

“You will, Rennie, you will,” one of the female Japanese porn stars giggled as she paraphrased a statement that the artist Whistler had once made to Oscar Wilde.

“No monument for you,” Renfield looked down at her as he ate a bowl of Argentinian chicken soup prepared by a soup Nazi.

“So what of today’s U.S. announcement?” Geeta asked as she tried to keep a straight face.

“Well, the U.S. is a collapsing empire that’s too stupid and historically illiterate to realize that it’s a collapsing empire,” Renfield sipped on a Tequila Sunrise that contained a swizzle stick with a miniature Union Jack on it, “while China on the other hand is a rapidly ascendant rapidly rising re-emergent world empire. So we all know how this will end. Napoleon Bonaparte who was a true genius (unlike the bozos in the Trump Administration) noted that China was a sleeping dragon and it is best to let sleeping dragons sleep. So what does America the modern day Whore of Babylon do to a sleeping dragon? She pokes it in the eye. And so now America will fall like a rag doll knocked off the shelf by a raging bull in a China shop. And no monuments will be built to her chastity after she falls.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 28th
2019.

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The Dancing Dragon: A Poem

January 11, 2015 at 9:46 pm (Fantasy, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Dancing Dragon: A Poem

The dragon danced
with ants down his pants
and that’s why he danced
when you’ve got the itch
then life is a bitch
all you want to do is scratch
with another to match
The Emperor Wu watched the dragon dance
seeing it quite by chance
and was so impressed
he ordered his courtiers dressed
in the costume of a dragon
and jumping off the wagon
would dance through the streets of Beijing
where there was no peeking
under the dancing dragon’s costume bold
emblazoned in bright colours of red and gold
so the tradition continues each Lunar New Year
where the dragon dances to quite a loud cheer.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday January 11th 2015.

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Radio News Reports and The Park Avenue Billionaire

April 23, 2014 at 7:25 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Radio News Reports and The Park Avenue Billionaire

The mysterious billionaire sat behind the dark curtains in his Park Avenue New York City penthouse apartment, drank Jasmine tea with a pinch of Arizona sagebrush and listened to the news on the radio.

“Russia will respond if its interests in Ukraine are attacked says Russia’s Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov…

U.S. President Barack Obama says that the U.S. will support Japan in its territorial dispute with China over the Senkaku Islands (called Diaoyu Islands by China) in the East China Sea under the terms of Article 5 of the U.S.-Japan Treaty of Mutual Co-Operation and Security… the U.S. ‘s mutual Defence pact with Japan…

South Korea has announced that North Korea may conduct a nuclear test during President Obama’s upcoming visit to the Korean Peninsula…

In the Palestinian territories, Hamas and Fatah have announced a reconciliation deal and will form a unity government in the upcoming weeks…

In response, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has called off further peace negotiations with the Palestinian Authority…

The first contingent of U.S. troops has entered Poland for joint military exercises with Poland in the midst of tensions with Russia over Ukraine…

In another incident, the Air Forces of the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and Denmark all scrambled their fighter jets after Russian military aircraft were spotted approaching their airspace…”

The Park Avenue billionaire gurgled happily as he sipped his tea…

All was definitely going according to plan.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 23rd
2014.

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Haiku About Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370

March 10, 2014 at 6:07 pm (News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370

MH370
two hundred thirty-nine souls
vanish without trace

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Haiku About Possible Sarajevo 1914 Like Incident In Today’s World of Late 2013

November 29, 2013 at 4:59 pm (Commentary, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Haiku About Possible Sarajevo 1914 Like Incident In Today’s World Of Late 2013

Pilot strays through new
air defense zone of China
World War III begins

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7/11 Day 2013

July 11, 2013 at 10:39 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“Mr. President,” the Secretary of State John Kerry addressed Barack  Obama, “we’ve got a response from the Chinese government over our strongly worded protest to them over Edward Snowden being allowed to leave the Hong Kong territory to go to Russia.”

“And what’s their response?” President Obama asked.

“Well it’s addressed to you personally sir,”  Secretary Kerry noted.

“Really?” The President looked quizzical, “What is it?”.

Secretary Kerry winced as he spoke it,  “They tell you to go —- yourself.”

“What?!” The President was livid, “How dare they?  Don’t they know that I’m the President of the United States?”.

                     *          *            *

“Of course I do,”  Chinese President Xi Jinping said as he fed a thousand year old egg to the dog under the table (a dog whose bark he did not like),  “that’s why I said it.”

The dog would never bark again.

                   *           *          *

Russian President Vladimir Putin sighed,  “The United States is becoming more and more arrogant with each passing day.  They’re treating other leaders of the world the same way Germany treated other European leaders back in the 1930s.”

                      *           *           *

Syrian President Bashar Assad looked at the document in front of him and said,  “Gentlemen, it’s time we carry out Project Asmodeus.”

None of his generals voiced disagreement.

                  *           *          *

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set looked at the unfolding chaos in Egypt being shown on the TV by BBC News and spoke to his valet, “You know Athelstan, none of this would be happening if Papa Ra had appointed me Pharaoh of Egypt instead of Osiris millennia ago.”

“Indeed, sir,”  Athelstan handed his boss a two minute boiled egg along with some toast and jam.

                 *         *          *

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was sitting inside the doctor’s office in the hospital in Bethlehem.

The Welsh werewolf was feeling somewhat sheepish.

He was here because he feared that he may have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from the town harlot- a beautiful and alluring and mysterious red headed woman who called herself Lilith.

The physician went over to the test tube filled with the penicillin and inserted a syringe.

He then took the syringe and injected Magog Rhys Petley.

And that’s how the spirit of Neb-Senu mysterious entity from planet Nibiru who had once sojourned in ancient Egypt and who had recently possessed a moving ancient Egyptian statue in a Manchester museum entered the body of Magog Rhys Petley.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Thursday evening
  July 11th 2013

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