Donald Trump’s Phone Call With Saudi Crown Prince

November 19, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Crime, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The verdict was in.

The CIA, CSIS, MI-6 and the German Federal Intelligence Service were all convinced that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman had personally ordered the brutal and savage murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi,

But as Donald Trump brushed all the squirrel droppings and walnuts out of his toupee, he knew in his heart of hearts and brain of brains that he had more intelligence put together than any intelligence agency on the planet (or anyone else for that matter).

He sung to himself, “MBS killed no one, this I know, for the Saudi Crown Prince tells me so.”

He said to Lexington his valet as he dressed for bed, “I had a long phone conversation with the Saudi Crown Prince tonight, Lexington.”

“Delighted to hear it, sir,” his British butler answered.

“Lexington, do you know if we have a U.S. Consulate in Istanbul?” Trump asked.

“I believe we do, sir,” Lexington answered.

“I wonder if it would be possible for us to find a Turkish fiancee for CNN’s Jim Acosta,” Trump mused aloud.

“Good God, sir,” Lexington’s face turned ghostly white, “and just what was the gist of your conversation with the Saudi Crown Prince?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 19th
2018.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s vision (just before his lobster tank exploded again) of DARPA contract assassiness Panty Goatee disguised as actress Emma Watson telling the car driver, “Take me to the U.S. Consulate here in Istanbul.”

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Disappointed With BBC World News

March 4, 2014 at 7:44 pm (Commentary, Crime, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Personal essays) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Disappointed With BBC World News

I’m so disappointed with BBC World News at the moment.

I turned on the TV to see what was the latest with the Ukraine crisis and the possibility of full-scale war breaking out and instead all they had on was stupid live coverage of the stupid Oscar Pistorius murder trial in South Africa.

I remember when I was a teen-ager back in 1995 how important news stories of that year took a back seat to the O.J. Simpson murder trial in Los Angeles.

Every time some stupid pompous arrogant hubris filled famous athlete kills his wife or ex-wife or girlfriend, the news media go into positive orgasms over the whole matter.

I’d expect such stupidity coming from the American news media but I didn’t expect such stupidity coming from the BBC.

I can well imagine the following scenario if the Ukraine crisis does somehow spin totally out of control and produce World War III:

CNN’s Anderson Cooper: And we’ve just received word that Washington DC has been destroyed by a nuclear missile.
We will now be talking to an American General about the current retaliatory nuclear missile attack on Moscow…
oh wait… we’re going to have to put that interview on hold because we’ve got a live feed coming in from the Oscar Pistorius murder trial in Pretoria South Africa where the courtroom has just heard the riveting testimony of an Afrikaans speaking toilet seat repairman.
Oops… our reporter was just knocked over by a BBC cameraman also in a rush to get the story…
okay… here’s the live feed coming from Pretoria now… oh no… our transmission satellite over South Africa was just shot down… bloody Russians…

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America’s Latest Secret Weapon

July 10, 2013 at 3:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“You’re looking pretty pleased with yourself,”  Amadeus remarked to Renfield.

“I’m up to my old tricks again,”  Renfield grinned,  “there’s an emergency meeting of the Russian cabinet in the Kremlin over an explosive new revelation found in the leaked Edward Snowden files.  So I hacked into the Kremlin computer and inserted my own explosive revelation.  Heh!  Heh!  Heh!”

“Renfield, what did you do?” Amadeus said as he sat down at the piano to play a little night music during the daytime.

                      .         .          .

Russian President Vladimir Putin looked pensive and concerned as did the members of his cabinet as they sat down at the large conference table in one of the Kremlin meeting halls.

“Gentlemen,” the head of Russia’s FSB Intelligence and Espionage Service spoke with great solemnity,  “I  give you America’s latest secret weapon.”

He turned on the projector and projected a large photographic image on to the screen in front of them.

Gasps of shock and horror were heard around the conference table.

“Even Ronald Reagan would never have done this,” wept a longtime Kremlin official whose years of service went back to the days of the Cold  War.

There on the screen was a larger than life photograph…

… of Arizona Sen. John McCain in the nude.

“Well,”  Vladimir Putin pushed aside his plate of caviar, “there goes my lunch.”

                     .          .              .

On the television screen was the face of CNN’s Anderson Cooper,  “Does America’s latest secret weapon involve causing people to lose their appetite?  Details on this story later tonight…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday afternoon 
July 10th 2013

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Ghost of Josef Stalin On Social Networking Sites

August 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo the genetically engineered Psychic Lobster was again feeling bored in his solo lobster tank in the Set Laboratories Lab outside London.

He decided he’d once again kill time through his genetically engineered ability to enter people’s dreams.

First he’d see if Renfield was asleep and dreaming.

He entered the mind of Renfield who was currently asleep and dreaming in a motel room in the U.S. state of Virginia.

Renfield was dreaming that he was in the drive-through lane at a McDonald’s restaurant.

Speaking into the drive-through intercom, Renfield said, “Lapar amai pour sex.”

He was showing off his skills at being able to speak 3 languages- Iban, French and English simultaneously.

Michelangelo shook his lobster head (and thus his antennae as well).

Renfield would always be Renfield.

Michelangelo decided he would then enter the dreams of Piers Morgan the host of CNN”s news talk show Piers Morgan Tonight.

Piers Morgan was dreaming that he was talking to the ghost of late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin on his show.

Complained Stalin’s ghost, “You know as I look around at the world today, I’ve always regretted the fact that both myself and my state the U.S.S.R. kicked the bucket before the advent of Internet social networking sites.
I mean one of the drawbacks of being in control of a police state in my day was that you had to spend so much money on having a vast secret police service to spy and find out what your people were saying, doing and thinking.
These days thanks to sites like Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, people automatically post for the entire world to see what they’re saying, doing and thinking.
It would have made running a totalitarian state so much easier had these sites been around when I was busy dictating.”

To be continued.

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