Davos To Be Held In Season of Baseball and Pretzels and Beer Rather Than Season of Skiing and Snowflakes and Brandy

December 20, 2021 at 9:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was sitting at his office desk putting orange marmalade on his crumpets and drinking a cup of Earl Grey tea.

Johnson opened up a Christmas card and read the message.

“Thank you so much for doing your best to cancel Christmas this year.”

It was signed The Grinch.

“I never knew how much the Grinch’s smile resembled Joe Biden’s,” Johnson mused aloud.

The heads of MI-5 and MI-6 soon joined Johnson.

“Mr. Johnson,” the MI-6 head explained, “The Davos World Economic Forum for next month has been cancelled and postponed until next summer.”

“Due to Omicron no doubt,” Johnson read statistics that showed vaccinated people were most in danger of getting the Omicron variant.

Johnson set the page of statistics aflame and dropped them in the wastepaper basket where an aide dumped water on it.

“That is the official explanation,” the head of MI-5 answered, “But the real reason is that a Member of the British Parliament had planned for an elaborate commando raid on the Davos World Economic Forum next month, take all those assembled hostage and then take them out and have them shot by firing squad.”

“Would that be Renfield R. Renfield?” Johnson asked.

“You got it,” both men nodded.

. . .

Joe Biden was sitting in his Oval Office reading the report on the Renfield Plan and the real reason for the cancellation of the Davos World Economic Forum next month.

He then dropped a load in his pants.

Biden pushed a button on his desk and spoke into the intercom, “Psaki, come wipe me.”

Psaki’s voice could be heard, “But I don’t have a towel.”

“That’s even better,” Biden grinned lecherously, “Come lick me then.”

. . .

Fazbach Reviewer was a Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI agent who had managed to weasel his way to the upper echelons of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.

Reviewer had entered the Unit back in March 2013 shortly after the Commie fag Jesuit Jorge Mario Bergoglio had been elected Pope.

He had done so on the orders of U.S. President Barack Obama who considered Set and his Chief of Security Renfield R. Renfield a threat to his Prince Hall Freemasonic overlords Osiris and Horus.

Today Fazbach Reviewer stood on top of the tower of Big Ben, his buns had just been tomatoed by dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to a burning crisp and his hands were in a pair of forward looking handcuffs.

“Well,” Renfield pulled out a pair of pliers, “I’ve got five good reasons why I’m going to pull out your fingernails on this hand one at a time.”

Renfield went through his reasons 1 to 4.

The Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI agent screamed (in earth shattering screams each time) as Renfield went through his reasons and another bloodied fingernail fell into the snow.

“And lastly,” Renfield grinned as he held up the fingernail of the pinky finger on Fazbach Reviewer’s left hand, “I’ve got 5 more reasons.”

The man’s screams surpassed the sounds of Big Ben chiming as the Westminster clocktower bell mysteriously started chiming despite being under repairs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 20th
2021.

Woman On V-E Day May 8th 1945

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Andrea Angelicus and The Mega-Investor

May 11, 2021 at 10:24 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Andrea Angelicus

Andrea Angelicus (the woman they call the Phoenix Woman) was flying on a luxury private jet owned by one of the world’s wealthiest mega-investors.

“An excellent cocktail,” Andrea said as she sipped it.

“I call it the Scarlet Pimpernel,” said the mega-investor.

“Scarlet Pimpernel?” Andrea smiled at him, “You strike me as being more like Citizen Chauvelin rather than the Scarlet Pimpernel.”

“Are you saying that I’m a villain?” The mega-investor inquired.

“You said it,” Andrea put her drink down on the table, “I didn’t.”

The mega-investor was one of the big wigs behind the annual Davos Summit and a promoter of the Great Reset.

He also financed various Neo-Trotskyite revolutions around the globe.

He would bring about that global Soviet Union that Trotsky failed to produce because Trotsky was pushed out by Josef Stalin in becoming the master of the Russian based Soviet Union.

“I’m awaiting a phone call,” the mega-investor finished his own Scarlet Pimpernel, “An acquaintance of mine is stealing information that is necessary for my next chess move.”

Andrea returned to their own chess game aboard the plane.

As the mega-investor moved his white bishop, Andrea moved her black queen and took his king.

“Checkmate,” she smiled.

The mega-investor’s phone rang.

“What?” The mega-investor was shocked, “He’s dead?”.

The mega-investor put his phone back in his pocket.

Looking at Andrea, the mega-investor said, “My acquaintance was killed trying to steal that information I needed.”

“How disappointing,” Andrea finshed her Scarlet Pimpernel cocktail.

She then vanished.

. . .

A T-Rex ET was going through the files in the filing cabinets at Set Enterprises.

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set insisted on keeping paper files of everything just on the off chance the world’s computers might someday be hit by an EMP (electromagnetic pulse) and all computerized electronic records were lost.

As the T-Rex ET went through the files, Extremely Curious George (the stegosaurus genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) entered the room and noticed the evil looking creature.

Approaching stealthily, George used his spiked tail to strike the T-Rex ET in the area of his heart.

The T-Rex ET fell over dead.

And a mega-investor had lost one of his acquaintances.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 11th
2021.

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Michelangelo’s Dream of Robin Hood

August 7, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and watching news footage of a speech George Soros gave at his most recent Davos World Economic Forum private dinner that was held on Thursday January 23rd of this year.

“The man looks like a poster child for demonic possession,” Renfield remarked, “If someone ever wanted a transgendered Linda Blair for a geriatric remake of the 1973 film The Exorcist, then George Soros is definitely the man for the job.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was already hiding under an artificial shipwreck at the bottom of his aquarium trying hard not to look at the demon possessed Soros.

Turning off the TV, Renfield bid Michelangelo good night and left the Set Enterprises laboratory.

Mounting a plastic mermaid at the bottom of the aquarium, Michelangelo fell asleep.

The lobster dreamed that he was human- Robin Hood in fact.

Good King Richard the Lion Hearted (a man who looked a lot like Renfield) had been taken hostage by an evil Austrian baron (a man who looked a lot like Bill Gates) over on the continent.

The evil Austrian baron was in cahoots with the evil Prince John (a man who looked a lot like George Soros).

Prince John was now ruling the English people as Prince Regent.

He had also unleashed a bubonic plague (bought from a Chinese alchemist named Gin Lu) which allowed him to lock the English people (Anglo-Saxons and Normans alike) in their homes.

The Sheriff of Nottingham (a man who looked like the senility prone Joe Biden) rode his horse backwards all over England to enforce the evil Prince John’s will in between asking “Where am I?” and occasionally stopping to sniff the hair of various women he encountered while riding his horse bassackwards.

Prince John had taken the beautiful Maid Marion (who looked like Rita Hayworth) hostage.

Michelangelo as the dashing Robin Hood (in his human shape, he looked like Gene Kelly) broke in to rescue her.

Having rescued the fair Marion, he turned and there stood the evil Prince John while the senile Sheriff of Nottingham lay on the floor sniffing the fur of chipmunks.

Prince John pointed an arrow at Robin’s heart with a bow, “Good-bye Robin.”

As he fired, the Sheriff of Nottingham stood up to announce, “I just remembered having forgotten where I laid my tiny codpiece this morning where I stand on the issue of human sacrifice. I’m personally opposed but…”

Prince John shot the Sheriff of Nottingham in the buttocks.

The manoevre allowed Robin Hood to grab a sword and behead the evil Prince John

He then kissed the beautiful Maid Marion.

Michelangelo smiled in his sleep.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 7th
2020.

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