Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte

August 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Science, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was disappointed to read on his BBC News App that the drone attack assassination attempt on Venezuelan 🇻🇪 President Nicolás Maduro had failed.

Renfield had asked Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher to design some explosive drones for him which the great scientist had done.

Renfield had then sent the explosive drones to his ally the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez who along with Renfield had long been plotting the overthrow of the Marxist despot Maduro.

Francesca had hired some anti-Maduro Venezuelan Air Force Officers to carry out the attack.

Sadly they had failed.

Oh well, Renfield thought bitterly, if you want the job done, you generally have to do it yourself.

What with plotting against both Russia’s Putin and Turkey’s Erdogan in Europe, he had very little time these days to go to Latin America and overthrow or successfully assassinate Maduro.

A fact which he had often complained to his spectral friend the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill about.

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont cleared her throat.

For the British MP was supposed to be having dinner with her and her boyfriend the British concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in a London pub.

Renfield remembered his manners (especially after recalling his latest session with dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes) and paid attention to Amadeus and Angelique’s discussion about the new Winnie The Pooh film the couple had just seen – Christopher Robin.

“Angelique, is that you?” A very beautiful and tearful 😢 young Mexican woman in a red rose patterned summer white dress approached her.

“Conchetta?” Angelique rose to hug and comfort her friend, “what’s wrong?”.

“I just received a text message from my best friend Artemisia back home,” Conchetta wept, “My entire family- mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins- in fact the whole entire village have been wiped out- massacred by the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel. Somehow miraculously Artemisia managed to escape- the only one in the entire village who managed to escape.”

Conchetta tearfully managed to relate the whole story to the trio.

Amadeus and Angelique sat there in a total state of shock.

As did Renfield.

Who also was overtaken by the greatest surge of anger.

“Amadeus, do you know if the Boss,” Renfield was referring to his former and Amadeus’ current employer the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “still has his private Concorde jet on standby at Heathrow?”.

“I believe so,” said Amadeus.

Renfield excused himself paying his share of the bill.

He then rushed back to the Set Mansion in West London where he picked up some special supplies.

On his way out to Heathrow in the limousine, he conversed with friends he knew in the various world intelligence services about the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

He boarded Set’s private Concorde jet and within a few hours arrived in Mexico 🇲🇽 only kilometres from the colossal villa that served as the headquarters of the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

. . .

The Disciples of Santa Muerte didn’t know what hit them.

It had in fact been a Tesla sound wave pulse recently re-discovered by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The sound wave paralyzed all the Disciples preventing them from moving.

It didn’t however shut off their nerve and pain sensations or vocal cords for that matter as Renfield could tell from the fact that as he slowly and painfully dismembered them bit by bit, he could still hear a small portion of their loud and shrill agonizing screams through the soundproof earplugs he was wearing.

Renfield’s friend the ghost of Orson Welles was on hand with his ghostly cameras and ghostly lighting crews to film the gory and bloody and excruciatingly slow and painful 😣 bodily dismemberments which the enormous talent of a film director would upload to YouTube later.

Renfield took the decapitated heads of all the slain Disciples of Santa Muerte and posted them on spikes in the Rose Garden of the White House on top of the garden wall underneath a large banner that read I Never Promised You A Rose Garden.

The dismembered hands he put in the glass display case of the expensive gloves department in the exclusive Saks Fifth Avenue store in New York City.

The dismembered feet he put in an expensive Nike shoes display in the same Saks Fifth Avenue store.

Thighs and legs he put outside KFC stores in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

Arms and elbows he put inside display cases in the Baseball ⚾️ Hall of Fame in the village of Cooperstown, New York.

The armless, legless and headless carcasses of cadavers he put outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Chicago underneath a banner that read Just On The Extremely Minuscule Off Chance You Happen To Run Out of Human Body Parts To Sell To Global Food Conglomerates and Pharmaceutical Companies.

. . .

Q-Amon the great sorcerer and former Egyptian Pharaoh had one literal Hell of a massive bowel movement on his Columbian cocaine plantation when he heard about the wholesale slaughter of every single member of the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel in Mexico 🇲🇽.

Renfield’s action was immediately publicly condemned by Pope Francis and his lavender clique of flashy flaming Liberace style priests for failing to take into account the personal nobility of soul of all the drug gang members.

The action also launched an intense public debate among commentators, analysts and self-proclaimed journalists on YouTube on whether or not this new Machiavellian and Genghis Khan Style approach to the War On Drugs might prove more effective than the limpwristed style approach to the War on Drugs that had been conducted by the U.S. government and its allies for the past 35 years which seemed to be going absolutely nowhere.

One Fox News commentator even speculated (for which he was soundly condemned in a tweet by Donald Trump) on whether this new Renfieldian approach to the Latin American drug cartels might deem the Trumpian need to build a wall on the southern border of the U. S. totally unnecessary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 4th
2018.

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Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Streets

August 3, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Street

In the Mexican village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe, there was not a living soul on the streets.

Just a bunch of bodies of men, women and children with their heads, arms and legs hacked off.

They had decided as a village to take a stand against the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel which controlled the entire province.

The result was they met their deaths in a most cruel and inhumane manner.

Q-Amon the secret head behind the Colombian drug cartels had flown from Columbia into Mexico to make a personal example of this village.

The message would run clear throughout the entire Americas- do not cross the drug cartels.

Santa Muerte (the female Saint Death- actually Samael the Talmudic Archangel of Death dressed in drag as a spectral drag queen) came to the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe to celebrate 🎉 🎊.

He had gone to the city of Chihuahua to pick up the haunted mannequin known as La Pascualita.

La Pascualita was also called the Corpse Bride of Mexico.

She had stood on display in a store window for over 80 years in the city of Chihuahua having made its storefront debut on March 25th 1930.

The female shop owner at the time had recently lost her daughter in a wedding day incident.

She had been bitten by a black widow spider 🕷 hours before she was due to wed her fiancé.

Some locals claimed the mannequin in the window was not a real mannequin at all but the shop owner’s dead daughter stuffed and perfectly preserved.

They said the mannequin was the spitting image of the daughter.

The mannequin was said by locals to dance in the store at night.

The mannequin would change positions in the shop window with no one near it.

Her eyes would look right at passing onlookers.

The mannequin’s hands are very realistic:

She even has varicose veins on her legs.

Santa Muerte (in the days when he/she was still Samael the masculine Archangel of Death) had fallen in love with 😍 Pascualita and had intended to raise objections at the wedding ceremony requesting that she marry him instead.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith the jealous ex-wife of Samael (she had been married to Samael many millenia ago) appeared to Pascualita and said she’d lend the bride to be her valuable necklace.

Pascualita gratefully accepted.

The trouble was the necklace had a living black widow spider 🕷 attached to it which bit Pascualita and she died.

With Pascualita the haunted mannequin and bride corpse of Mexico in his/her arms, Santa Muerte/Samael danced with her in the bloody streets of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe amongst the corpses.

As they danced, Santa Muerte sang that old David Bowie song Let’s Dance 💃🏻,

Let’s dance (Santa Muerte bowed to Pascualita)
Put on your red shoes (Pascualita dipped her black shoes into the red blood turning them red 👠) and dance the blues (the ghost of one of Mexico’s leading Elvis impersonators danced in blue suede shoes)
Let’s dance (Pascualita and Santa Muerte dance with one another)
To the song they’re playing on the radio (the ghost of a 1930 General Electric GE H-51 console radio appeared and played the Soviet National Anthem as heard on Radio Moscow)
Let’s sway
(Pascualita and Santa Muerte sway back and forth in the desert midnight breeze)
Sway through the crowd to an empty space
(But there are so many bodies on the street, they’re unable to find an empty place)

If you say run (they run to a holographic image of Donald Trump’s proposed wall beamed to earth by NASA satellite 🛰)
I’ll run with you (Santa Muerte chases after her like a ballet dancer in Swan Lake)
And if you say hide
We’ll hide (Edward Hyde of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde fame appears alongside them)
Because my love for you
would break my heart into two
(The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec appears with an obsidian knife and cuts Santa Muerte’s heart out ripping it in two and feeding both pieces to her spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl)
If you should fall into my arms
And tremble like a flower
(Pascualita falls into his arms, trembles and then dies and 88 year old roses 🌹 fall out of her wedding dress and crumble into dust which is blown away by the desert wind)

Let’s dance
Let’s dance
For fear your grace should fall
(A silver cross falls from Pascualita’s neck)
Let’s dance
For fear tonight is all
(Demons emerge from the desert and start to feed on the corpses in the village streets)
Let’s sway
(Santa Muerte sways with Pascualita’s limp corpse in his arms)
You could look into my eyes
(Pascualita raises her head and looks into Santa Muerte’s eyes)
Let’s sway
(They sway back and forth like candles flickering in the wind as a figure who looks like Sir Elton John appears and starts to weep)
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight
(The former Egyptian Pharaoh Q-Amon appears on a distant hill, turns into a jackal and howls in the moonlight as blood falls from his fangs on to the village below)

And if you say run
I’ll run with you…

(Rivers of blood run and flow through the streets of the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 3rd 2018.

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