Reblog- A Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

April 25, 2018 at 7:33 pm (Biographical, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Politics, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote 3 years ago-

Dracul Van Helsing

Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

The brilliant scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher (who some called “mad”, others called “insane” and the politically correct called “sanity challenged”) sat in his office overlooking the laboratory of Set Enterprises.

He looked down at the laboratory and noticed Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster sleeping peacefully in his lobster tank.

Which was a good thing.

The lobster tank had mysteriously exploded on 7 different occasions the past few weeks.

And the higher-ups on the Board of Directors of Set Enterprises were starting to take notice.

Especially the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s new personal chartered accountant Ayn Rand Nosferatu.

A strange woman. Not quite human. Not quite vampire.

And different from both in that x-rays showed that she had within her chest an ancient Chinese abacus in the place where her heart should have been.

Her office was quite intimidating.

She had a statue…

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100th Anniversary of Red Baron’s Death: A Haiku

April 21, 2018 at 10:56 pm (Avatar Speaks, Culture, History, Literature, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

100th Anniversary of Red Baron’s Death: A Haiku

Dr. Cadbury Rocher the great-grandson of Sherrielock Holmes (the immortal leather skirted dominatrix and lesser known twin sister of Sherlock Holmes) had gone to see the gypsy fortune 🔮 teller and spiritist medium Dulcinea Lucia for a seance to contact the spirit of his great grandfather the famous French scientist and World War I RAF flying ace Dr. Louis Rocher who was shot down and killed by the Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen 100 years ago yesterday.

And how it was 100 years today that the Red Baron himself was then shot down and killed by a Canadian World War I pilot Captain Roy Brown (although some historians believe it was in fact Charlie Brown’s pet beagle Snoopy).

Dr. Rocher did not tell his immortal great-grandmother Sherrielock Holmes that he was going to speak to her late husband via seance as Miss Holmes considered seances superstitious nonsense.

And even though he was an adult, Sherrielock would definitely not be afraid to take Dr. Cadbury Rocher over her knee and spank him.

The Set Enterprises scientist still vividly remembered the spankings he got from his great grandmother in his childhood and his youth.

A picture of the gypsy spiritist medium Dulcinea Lucia (who was unable to contact either Dr. Louis Rocher or the Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen due to a Russian cyber attack on the Greek Underworld of Hades):

Haiku About The Death of The Red Baron:

It’s true wherever
live by sword you’ll die by sword
on ground or in air

-A vampire novel chapter
and haiku
written by Christopher
Saturday April 21st
The 100th Anniversary
of the Death of the
Red Baron
Manfred von Richthofen

And on the subject of aviation and fighting in the clouds ☁️,
a video of me reading aloud
the William Butler Yeats poem
An Irish Airman Foresees His Death

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Qonzilqointec and Dracul See Pope Francis Wearing A Cowboy Hat

May 5, 2016 at 7:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec and Dracul See Pope Francis Wearing A Cowboy Hat

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing were in Her Vampiric Highness’ exclusive Mexico City penthouse apartment enjoying an exquisite meal and a bottle of the best Burgundy wine after a great evening of seeing Cinco de Mayo festivities.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was wearing a fiery red evening dress emblazoned with black lace around the arm sleeves.

Dracul Van Helsing was wearing a Humphrey Bogart Casablanca white style dinner jacket tuxedo and black bow tie.

“We’re having roast lobster as the main entree,” Qonzilqointec smiled.

“Lovely,” Dracul nodded, “as long as it’s not my friend Michelangelo.”

“Speaking of which,” Qonzilqointec smiled showing her white vampiric incisor fangs, “how did Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher manage to genetically create Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster?”.

“Well,” Dracul sipped his Burgundy wine,”I understand he extracted DNA from lobsters in a certain region of the world which according to a rare and unknown work of Herodotus that he had in his possession- these lobsters were said to have advanced psychic powers according to Ancient Greek sailors of the time who had ingested too much of the opium poppy.”

“Who had ingested too much of the opium poppy?” Qonzilqointec asked, “the lobsters or the Greek sailors?”.

“I’m not quite sure,” Dracul looked reflective, “Dr. Cadbury Rocher was somewhat incoherent after downing a dozen glasses of Tennessee bourbon.”

“And who had downed the dozen glasses of Tennessee bourbon?” Qonzilqointec smiled again, “You or Dr. Rocher?”.

“I believe we were tied for twelve apiece at that point,” Dracul recalled.

“And where in the world did he get those psychic lobsters whose DNA he extracted to genetically create Michelangelo?” Qonzilqointec smiled yet again.

Qonzilqointec had been used to smiling all evening for the 550-year-old Aztec vampiress had been mistaken by numerous American tourists for actress Salma Hayek (whose identical twin sister she could have easily passed for) at Cinco de Mayo festivities and they wanted their selfies taken with Qonzilqointec for uploads to Facebook and Instagram.

“Well according to a friend of mine who’s a former U.S. Army Special Operations officer and former DARPA employee,” Dracul recalled, “Dr. Cadbury Rocher had sent a group of beautiful but fierce warrioresses who called themselves the Sisterhood of the Black Dragons on a secret mission to the Black and Caspian Seas just prior to creating Michelangelo. So my friend who operated under the Special Ops code name Jack Daniels believes that it’s probably in the Black Sea and Caspian Sea regions of the world where these psychic lobsters are found.”

“That’s interesting,” Qonzilqointec wiped her mouth with a handkerchief after taking a large bite of lobster.

On the television in the living room which had the sound turned down, Donald Trump was telling Ohio Gov. John Kasich to take “Small bites. Small bites.”

“Why is that interesting?” Dracul Van Helsing likewise took a large bite of lobster.

On the TV in the living room, Sarah Palin could be seen performing the Heimlich maneuver on John Kasich.

“Because these lobsters I ordered flown in fresh for this special occasion,” Qonzilqointec sipped her Burgundy wine, “happen to come from the Black and Caspian Seas.”

At that moment, both Qonzilqointec and Dracul Van Helsing had psychic visions by which they were teleported to the Vatican where they saw Pope Francis in his bedroom.

Pope Francis was on his way to an Ascension Day papal audience where he was to meet a group of real western cowboys from the western U.S. state of Wyoming.

Pope Francis had been advised by Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi and Cardinal Walter Kasper that when the cowboys are in Rome to do as the cowboys do.

So Pope Francis was wearing a pair of tight fitting blue jeans, buckled leather belt, red and black plaid shirt and a 10 gallon white Stetson cowboy hat.

He was looking at himself in his full length dressing mirror.

Pope Francis began singing that old Mac Davis country and western song,

“Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way…
I guess it has somethin’ to do with the way
That I fill out my skin tight blue jeans.”

Pope Francis looked down at the way he filled out his skin tight blue jeans.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 5th

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