Don Quixote’s Roman Holiday

June 12, 2022 at 10:32 pm (Short Story) (, , , , , , )

The self-proclaimed knight-errant Don Quixote of La Mancha Spain decided to go on pilgrimage to Rome.

So he set out wearing his old wrecked armour and helmet and bent spear and broken sword on his old broken down and decrepit horse Rocinante and set out for Rome.

When in Rome, he set out to Saint Peter’s Basilica to view that sculpture known as the Pieta.

While approaching the basilica, a dwarf came up to Quixote and asked, “Which of these two men do you choose to be?”.

Quixote looked around.

He saw no one in the immediate vicinity.

Which two men was the dwarf talking about?

He looked down.

The dwarf had gone.

Vanished.

Quixote entered the chapel where he saw the Pieta.

The old knight stood in awe for over an hour in front of the statue.

He soon found himself joined by two men.

“How was this statue created?” Quixote asked the two men.

“Well,” the first man coughed, “This sculpture was originally just a rock. But after eons and eons of erosion caused by wind, rain, intense heat, intense cold and other natural factors it came to resemble the shape it is today.”

“I on the other hand,” the second man explained, “have heard that this sculpture was created by a man named Michelangelo Buonarroti. I choose to believe that Michelangelo Buonarroti created this sculpture.”

The words of the dwarf came back to him, “Which of these two men do you choose to be?”.

Don Quixote rode on the road from Rome back to Spain.

He looked around and saw how beautiful the world was.

The woodlands, the green grass, the multicoloured varieties of trees and their leaves and the beautiful crystal flowing streams.

He stopped when he saw a couple of children crying.

“Children, why do you cry?” He asked.

“Our mom sent us to find wood,” the girl and eldest of the pair answered, “We found the wood but we know not where to cross the stream again to get back to our home.”

“Climb aboard the noble Rocinante,” Quixote pointed to his old decrepit horse, “and hang on to me. And we’ll carry you across the stream.”

The children climbed on to the decrepit old horse and hung on to the old self-proclaimed knight in his old wrecked armour with his broken sword and bent spear.

When the horse emerged on the other side of the stream after having carried the children across the stream, it had turned into a noble and vibrant black steed and Don Quixote saw his armour turn into gold and his broken sword turned into a sword of pure and mighty gold.

If this world had a Creator and saw this scene, He’d have worked the miracle that unfolded.

If all that existed beyond this realm of things was a Void, it would not have cared, would have neither felt empathy or contempt, would not have felt love or hate.

It would not have felt anything.

For it was not alive, it did not have a personality, it did not even exist and it was definitely not Love.

-A short story written by Christopher
Sunday June 12th 2022

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Agathor and Magog Meet In London

November 6, 2019 at 11:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Agathor and Magog Meet In London

Having visited their respective constituencies, former British Conservative Party MP Agathor Christie and former British Labour Party MP Magog Rhys Petley met up again in London.

The two former MPs (of different political parties) had formed a private eye business together in the British capital after their respective defeats in the 2017 UK General Election.

Now that a December election was looming this year, both men decided to try their luck at getting back into Parliament.

Not that it would be an easy task as the 2 British Transhumanist Party candidates who had defeated them- Renfield R. Renfield in Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds (who took out Agathor) and the Welsh vampiress Morgana in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge (who took out Magog) were extremely popular among their constituents heading into the next election campaign.

Still as Count Dracula said when he went to sleep in his coffin the night he would end up being slain by Dr. Abraham Van Helsing, “Never say die.”

Thus proving there was a definite disparity between words and action.

“So, how’s it going, Agathor?” Magog asked his Conservative friend.

“Good, good,” Agathor answered.

Silence.

“And how’s it going, Magog?” Agathor inquired of his Labour friend.

“Good, good,” Magog answered.

Silence again.

“Well, nice seeing you again, Magog,” Agathor finished his beer and stood up to leave.

“You too, Agathor,” Magog likewise finished his beer and stood up to leave.

The two shook hands and went back to their respective London lodgings.

“What a waste of time that meeting seemed to have been,” a British Liberal Democratic MP said to a small talking peregrine falcon who claimed to be a reincarnation of the Egyptian god Horus.

“I agree,” said Horus who was busy looking at the way his eye was depicted on the back of the U.S. One Dollar bill that lay on the table.

The Egyptian jackal headed god Anubis who was sitting at a corner table (and watching the Liberal Democratic Party MP with the talking peregrine falcon who claimed to be the reincarnation of Horus) finished his beer and thought to himself, “I better go and tell Dad that the spirit of his nephew Horus might be possessing the body of a peregrine falcon.”

He went to tell his father the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the news.

Meanwhile Agathor Christie had returned to his London lodgings and was having pleasant dreams.

He dreamed he was down in Mexico where he was meeting Señorita Dulcinea del Toboso the love of Don Quixote’s life.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 6th
2019.

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Don Quixote and The Fountain of Youth

November 4, 2019 at 11:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Literature, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Don Quixote and The Fountain of Youth

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was temporarily back in London from the town of Tewkesbury.

Renfield was in the process of setting up his campaign re-election headquarters in Tewkesbury.

However he was back in London to attend the final session of this current Westminster Parliament to elect a new Speaker of the House of Commons to succeed John Bercow who was retiring as Speaker.

After Sir Lindsay Hoyle was elected the new Speaker, Renfield went to The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London where he had been invited to see a painting that the gallery had recently acquired.

Upon Renfield’s arrival, Dashwood Forrest showed him the new painting:

“What’s the painting called?” Renfield asked Forrest.

“It’s called Don Quixote Kisses Dulcinea del Toboso,” Forrest answered.

“Really?” Renfield accepted a piece of shrimp offered him by one of the catering waiters, “I must say Don Quixote looks rather young in that painting and not the old fogey depicted in Cervantes’ novel.”

“There’s an interesting story to that painting,” Forrest accepted a vegan hot dog from another waiter, “this painting was actually painted in 19th Century Mexico. According to the artist’s notebook, he actually met the young looking Don Quixote and the young looking Dulcinea del Toboso. Quixote, said the artist, did not die after recovering his sanity and renouncing his ideals of knightly chivalry like Cervantes said at the end of his work. Instead Quixote sailed to the New World and went to Florida where he discovered the Fountain of Youth. He drank from it and became young again. He returned to Spain and brought Dulcinea del Toboso to the New World and to Florida where she too drank from the Fountain of Youth. She too became eternally young. The couple then moved to Mexico where they were living when the artist painted this picture.”

“So according to the painter of this picture,” Renfield helped himself to a whisky, “Don Quixote was a real person and not a figment of Cervantes’ imagination.”

“That is so,” Forrest nodded.

“I wonder where the Fountain of Youth is located,” Renfield looked intently at the painting.

. . .

“I see you got yourself a new dog in Florida to replace Caesar,” Donald Trump remarked to one of his secret service bodyguards named Schneider.

“This is Caesar,” Schneider petted the young pup.

“Nonsense, Caesar looked to be on his last legs when he was here in this office,” Trump remarked, “he was 12 years old and dying. And you said you were taking him to Florida on one last holiday before he went off on his final journey.”

“I was,” Schneider said, “But when I took him for a walk down there, he found a spring and drank from it. And now he looks like this.”

“Where is this spring?” Trump demanded to know.

“I’ve forgotten,” Schneider lied knowing what sort of man he was dealing with in Trump.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday November 4th 
2019.

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On Don Quixote, Foolishness and Christ

July 20, 2015 at 7:52 pm (Literature, Musicals, Personal essays, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

On Don Quixote, Foolishness and Christ

I was a boy at a public speaking competition
the prize: a trip to visit the UN in New York City
but I didn’t win
I came in second
so no trip to the Big Apple for me
just a week at a summer camp in the Alberta Rockies
My uncle tried to cheer me up by saying the truly great orators of Roman history often started out winning 2nd in public speaking competitions in their youth
Those who won first were usually devoid of original ideas and won by singing praises and kissing the ass of the current status quo in Rome
They quickly went into obscurity and were forgotten in the annals of history
Those who won second were brilliant speakers who couldn’t be ignored but yet their original ideas frightened the competition judges so they were awarded runner up rather than the big prize
My uncle’s words did cheer me up
but what I remember most about the competition was the event’s guest adult speaker
an ordained minister in the United Church of Canada
who chose as his topic Cervantes’ Don Quixote
The minister mentioned that in writing Don Quixote,
Cervantes’ purpose was to mock ideas of knightly chivalry
That chivalry was an idea from long ago
only kept alive in novels
and those who tried to live by such ideas were foolish
and ended up being made fools of like Don Quixote
But the minister said that in reading Don Quixote himself,
Cervantes’ work had the opposite effect on him than the author intended
That Don Quixote was a fool, yes
but a fool in the sense that Christ was a fool
fighting for ideas that were worth fighting for
That Don Quixote suffered and was mocked
but then so Christ suffered and was mocked
that there are causes worth suffering for and being mocked for
Quixote had taken a loose woman and imagined her a lady Dulcinea del Toboso
Christ took a woman out of whom He had cast 7 devils and made her a lady Mary Magdalene
Mary Magdalene went from sinner to saint because Christ truly saw who she was and what she could become
And Mary became that because she was transformed by this image that Christ had for her
In the musical Man of La Mancha the loose woman that Quixote imagined a lady Dulcinea del Toboso
although cynical and scornful at first
slowly turns into that lady
because Quixote’s love for her is more noble and pure than any she has ever known
By the end of the musical,
she too wishes “to dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go…
To reach the unreachable star.”

And the last stanza of Don Quixote’s Impossible Dream,
“And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star.”

That man in the last stanza, the United Church minister concluded in his talk, was Christ.
He dreamed the impossible dream- that God could become truly human and would know the suffering and toil and pain it is to be human.
He bore with unbearable sorrow, betrayed by a friend, denied by a friend, abandoned by friends, a Crown of Thorns, beatings and mockery and a Cross unto death.
He went where the brave dared not go
The place that was foreordained for His death – in His case the city of Jerusalem (“And it came to pass, when the time was come that He should be received up, He stedfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem” -Luke 9:51).
He fought the unbeatable foe- Death- and beat him.
He reached the unreachable star- He restored fallen man -who was trapped in a Hell of his own making- to Paradise.

-A personal narrative poem
written by Christopher
Monday July 20th
2015.

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Haiku About Don Quixote

August 27, 2013 at 6:58 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , )

Haiku About Don Quixote

Old Don Quixote
battling windmills in an age
twilight night of knights

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Of Jack O’ Hare and Don Quixote: A Poem

May 3, 2011 at 6:15 pm (Poetry) (, )

Under the apple tree in the Van Helsing Yard
Jack O’ Hare was inspired like the Bard
he closed his eyes
dreamed of sunrise
on ocean beaches and waveswept shores
in his mind’s eye
he saw Don Quixote ride
that chivalrous knight the world laughed to scorn
in an age that was cynical and honour forlorn
the Spanish knight fought giants and windmills
for a lady fair
though townsfolk called her “whore” in the village square
but as Christ saw that Mary Magdalene was so much more
so Quixote did not look on her with the eyes of a bore.

She was his Muse and his inspiration
leading him to fight battles with great perspiration
and finally on the day when Quixote died
’twas said about his horse
for one glorious time on this mount
Honour and Chivalry took one final ride.

-A poem about Jack O’ Hare and Don Quixote
written by Christopher Van Helsing, May 3rd 2011

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