Miracle On The Vistula
The Battle of Warsaw (1920) was fought from August 12th 1920 to August 25th 1920 between the Polish National Army and Leon Trotsky’s Soviet Red Army.
Poland was on the verge of defeat in the Polish-Soviet War at the start of the battle.
But somehow the Polish Army under the command of Marshal Josef Pilsudski managed to regroup, repulse and defeat the Red Army in what Russian Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin called “an enormous defeat” for his forces.
The politician and diplomat Edgar Vincent regards the 1920 Battle of Warsaw as one of the most important battles in world history on his expanded list of history’s most decisive battles since the Polish victory over the Soviets halted the spread of Communism further westwards into Europe.
Had the Soviets taken Poland, nothing would have stopped their march into Germany (which had a shattered economy and a thorougly routed and demoralized army) and then France (whose army was wartorn and weary from 4 gruelling and bloody years of trench warfare in the First World War).
All of Western Europe would have probably fallen to Communism and then Lenin and Trotsky would have set their eyes across the English Channel towards Britain.
And the only one on the British isles who would have sounded the alarm about imminent danger would have been Winston Churchill while most of Britain’s stodgy old politicians doted along and would have proposed a Royal Commission task force to study the subject.
At the start of the Soviet-Polish War, the Bolshevik Lenin’s speeches asserted that the Bolshevik Revolution would be carried to Western Europe on the bayonets of Russian soldiers and that the shortest route to Berlin and Paris lay through Warsaw.
The battle turned for the Poles when Marshal Pilsudski launched a counteroffensive on Soviet forces from the south of Warsaw moving north and then trapping the Soviet forces in an encirclement.
However some have cited supernatural intervention as the reason for the victory.
Diaries from many present at the battle reported that the Virgin Mary appeared to Polish troops on the banks of the Vistula River on August 15th which is the Feast of the Assumption Into Heaven of the Blessed Virgin Mary and spoke words of encouragement.
August 15th 1920.
100 years ago today.
. . .
Pope Francis was in a video conference call with George Soros, Bill Gates, U-2 singer Bono (who sat at his desk immensely pleased with the very unusual cactus plant he had just received in the mail from Australia) and American economist Jeffrey Sachs to discuss their continuing plans for a Marxist One World Government.
Pope Francis noted, “One hundred years ago today the cause of global Marxism suffered a serious setback. And many other setbacks as well over the years. Today, we’ll finally push the cause of global Marxism forward with the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus helping us.”
“Jesus Christ!” Bono shouted.
“This is a private meeting not a public audience,” Pope Francis admonished as he wagged his finger at the Irish singer via video, “There’s no need to mention that name here.”
“No, a cow just jumped in through my study window and ran off with my cactus plant between her teeth!” Bono exclaimed in a great state of agitation.
“Daisy! Daisy!” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun briefly appeared on video and ran after the cow as she headed down the road off the Bono estate.
. . .
“Lexington,” Donald Trump was speaking to his British butler and valet, “I was just reading in the Monthly Moon which is the monthly newspaper in the small town of Smallville, Kansas… speaking of which I wonder why Clark Kent who lives in Kansas City, Kansas (shouldn’t that be called Metropolis?) hasn’t answered any of the thousands of emails I’ve sent him hour by hour inviting him to have dinner with me?.”
“I have no idea, sir,” Lexington answered.
“The NSA tells me he’s forwarded a few of them to the Irish-Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg for some reason,” Trump scratched his head and yellow artificial dandruff fell out, “Anyways getting back to the Monthly Moon article, they were quoting British MP Renfield R. Renfield… I wonder why the Monthly Moon and other smaller independent news outlets are the only ones to quote Renfield. None of the big mainstream news media does. Not even Fox News. And Fox News is ostensibly supposed to be anti-Communist unlike the other big news outlets.”
“I have no idea again, sir,” Lexington sighed.
“Anyways, Renfield said in the article, “It’s rather frightening to think that the only person standing in the way of a Communist Neo-Bolshevik takeover of America is a non-altruistic non-empathetic narcissist who fancies himself a 21st Century Caesar and a Neo-Roman Emperor.” Now Lexington,” Trump scratched his head again leading to further golden artificial dandruff falling on the Rubicon Rubik’s Cube on Trump’s desk, “who is he talking about? Do you know any individual who fits that description?”.
“Of course not, sir,” Lexington replied as he helped Trump on with his toga and his laurel leaf crown.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 15th
2020.
The Medusa Portrait
The Medusa Portrait
Dr. Lionel Jarrett a professor of Classics at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan stood looking at his daughter Eva while London art gallery curator Dashwood Forrest (owner of The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery) stood alongside a portrait painting of the famous Medusa.
The portrait of Medusa had been painted by Oscar Wilde who was much better known for his witty repartee, his plays, his short stories, his poems, his children’s stories and his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray than he was for artistically painting pictures.
It was only recently that Dashwood Forrest in his research and investigations had uncovered that Wilde was an artist (in the painting sense of that term) as well as a writer.
Wilde had apparently painted this picture of Medusa after a wild night of drinking absinthe and trying to write a poem about her.
In his dream that inspired the painting, Wilde had Medusa sit for him while he set up his canvas, palette and paints.
Medusa had returned for this sitting just after her appointment with her gay Spartan hairdresser.
Boasted the hairdresser at her appointment, “I had 299 fellow Spartans at my backside making us a noble band of 300 but I refused to bow the knee to the King of Persia.”
The hairdresser’s bloodcurdling tale had caused serpentlike curls to form at the top of Medusa’s hair which Wilde was able to capture in this sitting.
The serpents of course never did leave Medusa’s hair.
It really was the Hairstyling Appointment From Hell.
When Wilde woke up, he discovered that he had been sleep painting and had painted the portrait to its final finish.
Dr. Lionel Jarrett looking at his daughter Eva said he’d buy the painting for her.
The ghost of Orson Welles (just recently returned from Luxor, Egypt) took a black and white photo of the happy moment.
. . .
A naked Donald Trump was in the shower showering his golden toupee as his son-in-law Jared Kushner sat blindfolded outside the clear screen see-through screen shower cubicle.
“So, Jared,” Trump was using Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, “How did you get Israel and the United Arab Emirates to agree to establish diplomatic relations with one another?”.
“Well, Ivanka asked her friend London art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest to ask his friend the ex-Gorgon Medusa to visit a gay hairdresser in the town of Sparti, Greece (which lies at the site of ancient Sparta) and when she got snakes back in her hair, she was going to visit both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Abu Dhabi Crown Prince Mohammed Al Nayhan and turn them to stone unless they agreed to establish diplomatic relations with each other.”
“So the answer to establishing peace is to get stoned?” Trump asked Kushner.
Meanwhile down in his basement, Democratic Party presumptive Presidential nominee Joe Biden was talking to his pet pot smoking desert cactus plant whom he had named Sweet Dementia, “Wow, that’s really crazy, man. You mean Kamala is descended from a slave owning family on the island of Jamaica and not descended from slaves? Wow, that really blows my mind. Good thing for me, my mind was blown a long time ago. Fortunately for me, most of the mainstream news media in this country are all disinformation branches of the New World Order Ministry of Propaganda and won’t bother mentioning that. Since Kamala and I are going to bring the Marxist New World Order to America. Now, I think I’ll go take a shower, Sweet Dementia. Care to join me?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 13th
2020.
Marxist Puppets On Strings
Pan Goatee exited the grocery store where a very unusual version of an old Elvis Presley song was playing above the store aisles,
“Are you Marxist tonight?
Are you sorry you read Das Kapital?….”
While exiting the store, the genetically created satyr serial killer encountered a fat ugly blimp with a butch haircut and a streak of a very ugly looking shade of blue in her hair.
“Why don’t you wear a paper bag over your head when you go out in public, you ugly looking bull dyke freak?” Goatee commented as he lopped off her head with his astral laser machete.
“Hey, you shouldn’t call people bull dyke freaks,” snivelled a man who could have easily passed for being a member of Pope Francis’ curia if he lived at the Vatican or a hairdresser if he lived in Beverly Hills California, “especially during Pride week when we’ve got the Marxist-Leninist New Age Maitreyan occultic inverted rainbow displayed all over the place?”.
“Why don’t you turn into a pillar of salt like Lot’s wife did?” Goatee calmly answered as he lopped off the whiner’s head.
The whiner’s head exploded in a massive burst of salt (with a dash of pepper) as it hit the ground.
Meanwhile over in Beijing, Xi Jinping was playing with some controls that managed the electric invisible puppet strings that controlled Xi’s puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who had headed the World Health Organization since 2017.
“The Covid-19 virus is still here, the Covid-19 virus is still here,” Dr. Tedros shouted in a fit of apoplexy as he rode a toy horse coloured pale green.
“Good news on the Hong Kong front,” the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon who was Xi’s spirit guide advisor smiled, “the Hong Kong Security Law is now law in Hong Kong. We can now start throwing people in jail by the millions.”
“That’s great,” Xi beamed like a beatific Buddha if Buddha had been possessed by a demon, “no doubt Democatic Party governors and Mayors in America will continue to take notes from my actions as they round up Christians and other non-Marxists in the U.S.”.
“That is if the Neo-Marxist insurrectionists and Neo-Jacobin revolutionaries don’t guillotine them all first once they finish tearing down all the statues of the old America,” the Black Dragon laughed like Mount Vesuvius erupting over Pompeii in 79 AD.
“Exactly,” Xi got one of his drag queen roosters to lay a 1000-year-old egg.
“There’s good news on the Taiwan front as well,” the Black Dragon guffawed like Krakatoa erupting in 1883.
“Really?” Xi directed one of his guards to deliver the 1000-year-old egg to the Wuhan Institute of Virology for old times’ (i.e. December 2019) sake.
“Yes, in the supernatural realm angels who had been guarding the island of Taiwan on the orders of the Archangels Saint Michael and Saint Raphael have now withdrawn from Taiwan on their angelic commanders’ orders,” the Black Dragon cackled like Mount Pinatubo in 1991.
“Why?” Xi asked.
“Because Taiwan just held a huge Pride parade honouring the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet,” the Black Dragon started brushing his teeth with a Dyson powered vaccum cleaner.
“The Italian Marxist theoretician Antonio Gramsci was certainly right when he theorized that honouring Baal and Baphomet practices and introducing them into a country’s wider culture can easily pave the way for the triumph of Communism everywhere,” Xi got his drag queen rooster to lay another 1000-year-old egg, “We can probably annex Taiwan by summer’s end this year.”
Meanwhile on the White House lawn in Washington DC, Dr. Anthony Fauci wearing a Chicken Little suit (given him as a gift by Xi Jinping) started clucking, “100,000 cases a day are coming. 100,000 cases a day are coming.”
America’s leading self-proclaimed expert on viruses was then struck by a virus that turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.
“Where did that stupid looking lawn ornament come from?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington as he gazed out from his Oval Office window.
“No idea, sir,” Lexington shook his head, “It wasn’t there this morning when Andrew Jackson’s statue was chasing Nancy Pelosi across the lawn with a 6 foot giant Cuban cigar in his mouth.”
“Strange,” Trump wondered where Jackson got the Cuban cigar.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 30th
2020.
Michelangelo’s Vision of No More Xi
Michelangelo’s Vision of No More Xi
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a bubble bath and playing with his rubber ducky when suddenly he picked up a news bulletin from the future on his psychic lobster antennae.
BBC News Announcer: What we know so far is that Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping was killed in an attack on Xi’s palace by an American plane.
This is probably the most dangerous international geopolitical tinderbox since the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962.
Our London reporter Ernstwhile Humphreys is reporting on the British public’s reaction to the possibility of a nuclear World War III.
Ernstwhile, can you hear me?
Ernstwhile: Yes, I can, Terence.
Stores all across the United Kingdom are reporting the biggest run on toilet paper since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.
The camera breaks away as masked spectators in the background start singing, “Rule Britannia. Britannia rules the rolls.”
BBC News Announcer: Thank you, Ernstwhile.
We’ve just received word from our BBC Beijing correspondent Babel Ling Brooks as to what led to this major geopolitical incident.
Babel Ling Brooks (looking resplendent in her scarlet red evening dress): Thank you, Terence.
Surprisingly what hawks in the Chinese Communist Party are calling a U.S. directed airplane assassination on Xi had actually started out as a peaceful diplomatic overture from Washington DC to Beijing.
In a special White House ceremony, Donald Trump had just named actor Harrison Ford (of Han Solo and Indiana Jones fame) as U.S. Goodwill Ambassador to China and had asked the septuagenarian actor to fly to China in his own private plane (which Ford always pilots himself) to Beijing to deliver a personal message of peace and goodwill to Xi.
According to my sources in Beijing Air Traffic Control, Ford, while piloting his plane, overshot the Beijing airport by an unbelievably large number of kilometres and ended up crashing into Xi’s palace right into the paramount leader’s bedroom where Xi was apparently paramounting one of his many female concubines.
Xi was killed instantly- his head being severed by one of the plane’s rotating propeller blades and ending up on a silver platter below an Italian Renaissance artist’s painting of Salome Doing The Dance of The Seven Veils that Xi had apparently been given as a gift from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.
The concubine has fortunately survived unharmed and is currently entertaining bids from both CNN and Fox News as to which U.S network she’ll grant an exclusive interview with first.”
The vision ended with the concubine holding a Siamese cat being invited to the White House by Donald Trump.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 3rdÂ
2020.
Cardinal Zen, The WHO and The Vicar of Cthulhu and Mitlantecuhtli
Cardinal Zen, The WHO and The Vicar of Cthulhu and Mitlantecuhtli
Athelstan the butler and valet used a 6 foot long stick to help the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set take off his coat after he returned from his exercise walk.
“Social distancing rules, eh, Athelstan?” Set asked.
“Indeed, sir,” Athelstan nodded.
“I see Joseph Cardinal Zen the bishop emeritus of Hong Kong who criticized Pope Francis for selling out the underground Catholic Church in mainland China is now questioning the credibility of the WHO (World Health Organization) and their close ties to and support of the Beijing Communist regime. When the close ties between WHO Assistant-General Bruce Aylward (a Canadian) and China’s government became apparent in a press conference exchange between Aylward and a Hong Kong reporter this past Monday, days later Aylward’s name has suddenly vanished from being tied to the WHO and his information has been scrubbed off the Internet. And the Council on Foreign Relations (which is a Freemasonic Illuminati style organization) even says that WHO’s Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus seems to hold too close ties to the PRC government even for the CFR’s liking. So all these WHO guidelines that are assimilated and taken at face value across the world stripping common liberties and rights alike as entire nations go under lockdown, Cardinal Zen asks the question, “Has the People’s Republic of China successfully staged a global coup on the world stage?”. And of course if they have, Athelstan, they couldn’t have done so without the help of Pope Francis whose appointed head and Chancellor of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences the Argentine Bishop Marcelo Sanchez Sorondo said back in 2018 that the Chinese Communists were the best at bringing Catholic Church social teaching into practical action and application. Maybe Francis’ social teaching but not that of his papal predecessors.”
. . .
U. S. President Donald Trump who had just ordered the company 3M to stop selling N95 face masks to Canada had a dream where he was standing on the Canada-U.S. border and shouting at Canada, “A plague on all your houses. A plague on all your houses.”
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was skyping with a friend of his the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who was one of the Church of England’s leading exorcists.
“I see Pope Francis is no longer calling himself by the title Vicar of Christ,” Father Aidan remarked to Renfield.
“Well, at least that’s honest of him,” Renfield noted.
“In the 2020 edition of the Vatican yearbook,” Father Aidan went on, “the Annuario Pontificio, Vicar of Christ is no longer listed as one of his titles. He is simply called Jorge Maria Bergoglio. Other titles other Popes have been called in the past such as “Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of The Vatican City-State” are now all listed at the bottom of the page identified only as “historical” titles of the past.”
“I guess being the Chief Prophet of the New World Order is more important than any of those,” Renfield was devouring his tuna fish sandwich with no hint of social distancing between him and what he was eating, “The UN, the WHO and the People’s Republic of China undoubtedly approve. This past February, a geopolitical analyst friend of mine started calling Francis the Vicar of Cthulhu and Mitlantecuhtli.”
“That title may appear in the next edition of the Vatican yearbook Annuario Pontificio,” Father Aidan commented.
-A vampire novel chapterÂ
written by Christopher
Friday April 3rd
2020.
Lepardia Marango and Harvey Tallbanger At Donald Trump Press Conference
Lepardia Marango and Harvey Tallbanger At Donald Trump Press Conference
NBC News White House correspondent Peter Alexander had asked Donald Trump the question regarding the Coronavirus crisis, “What do you say to Americans who are scared?”.
Trump replied, “I’d say you are a terrible reporter.”
Both British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set felt that Trump should be given a come uppance for this stupid ass remark.
Especially since Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had had a vision in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises yesterday morning that Trump would soon declare martial law and say that this fall’s Presidential election would be postponed indefinitely because of the Coronavirus which the racist bozo in the Oval Office kept calling the “Chinese virus”.
All that was needed for Trump to act was if he fell behind either Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders in the opinion polls.
Thus Set Enterprises’ secret agent Harvey Tallbanger (a 6 ft. 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who was invisible most of the time) went over to America along with Renfield and Dracul Van Helsing’s friend Lepardia Marango the cultural attaché at the South African Embassy in London.
They flew across the ocean in Set’s high speed environmentally friendly dirigible airship that had been invented by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
The high flying supersonic eco-friendly airship was powered by legalized Canadian cannabis.
Thus it flew quite high and quite fast.
Although munchies’ snacks had to be fed constantly to the airship’s underbelly.
Tallbanger (who had shapeshifted into a human being news journalist who was visible) bearing press media credentials from TCM (Turner Classic Movies) went to the next White House press conference accompanied by Miss Lepardia Marango.
Tallbanger posed the same question to Trump that Peter Alexander had, “What do you say to Americans who are scared?”.
Trump’s snitty response was the same, “I’d say you are a terrible reporter.”
To which Tallbanger responded, “And I’d say you are a terrible President, you limpwristed jackass.”
Trump foamed at the mouth, “What, how dare you talk that way to me, the greatest world leader in world history?! Secret Service, arrest this man and charge him with high treason.”
Tallbanger then took a cream pie out from under his jacket and went up and threw it in the Donald’s face.
As Trump lay on the floor with his face and toupee covered in a combination of banana cream, coconut cream and shaving cream, he screamed, “Did you see what that insidiously evil individual did to me? Shoot him on the spot.”
Tallbanger shapeshifted into tall invisible bunny rabbit form and sneaked away.
Lepardia Marango met up with him in the Washington DC parking lot where Set’s eco-friendly cannabis pot fuelled dirigible was parked.
-A vampire novel chapterÂ
written by Christopher
Saturday March 21st
2020
Great Caesar’s Ghost and Not So Great Josef Stalin’s Ghost On The Ides of March
Great Caesar’s Ghost and Not So Great Josef Stalin’s Ghost On The Ides of March
The Norse trickster god Loki was up to his old tricks again.
He had arranged for the ghosts of Julius Caesar, Brutus and Cassius to be released from Hades and stand on the steps of the U.S. Capitol in Washington DC not far from the entrance to the U.S. Senate to re-enact the assassination of Julius Caesar for this Ides of March in 2020.
Donald Trump was in his limousine, on his way back to the White House from his toupee maker in DC, being driven by the steps of the U.S. Capitol when he saw the ghostly re-enactment of Caesar’s assassination.
“Okayyyyy,” was the Donald’s profoundly stupid statement.
The same statement he made when his Oval Office address on the Coronavirus was finished and he didn’t realize the cameras were still rolling.
. . .
Josef Stalin’s ghost had been continuously roasting away on his barbecue spit down in Tartarus ever since he kicked the bucket back in 1953.
However Loki convinced the Greek underworld god Hades to give Stalin a temporary dispensational release from Tartarus for about an hour or two.
Acting like the ghost of Christmas Present escorting Scrooge over London, Loki took Stalin to the U.S. where he took him to a COSTCO store parking lot and showed the late Soviet Communist Party General-Secretary the multitudinously vast long line ups of people waiting to get into the store.
Next he teleported Stalin to the toilet paper aisles of the COSTCO where there was absolutely nothing on the shelves.
“Wow,” Stalin was impressed, “Long line ups of people waiting to get into the store and then once inside, there’s nothing on the shelves for them to buy.”
Stalin looked at Loki with tears in his eyes, “It’s just like the old Soviet Union.”
He grabbed a roll of toilet paper that had apparently rolled under a bottom shelf invisible to mortals and tried to wipe his teary eyes.
“Soviet style Socialism has finally triumphed in America,” Stalin smiled.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 15th
2020.
Edgar Allan Poe’s Ghost, Prince Prospero, Lady Death and A Vietnamese Vampiress Lady MacBeth
Edgar Allan Poe’s Ghost, Prince Prospero, Lady Death and A Vietnamese Vampiress Lady MacBeth
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was at Toronto Pearson International Airport to fly back to the United Kingdom from Canada after spending a brief time in the land of beavers, the maple leaf and legalized marijuana to examine for himself how a Trotskyite Marxist insurrection fared against an incompetent government.
As Marxist Trotskyite agitators and self-proclaimed indigenous warriors blockaded roads and railways and set fires all over the place, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stood in front of his pot smoking antique mirror modelling one of Australian Uncle Ernie’s sequinned pink g-strings and wondered what the self-proclaimed Wet’ suwet’en hereditary chiefs would think if he showed up at a meeting with them wearing only this.
Before boarding the plane, Renfield told members of the Canadian media assembled there at the airport,
“Under the amazingly incompetent leadership of Justin Trudeau, I have seen Canada’s future…”
“… And it is Nicolas Maduro’s Venezuela,” he added before boarding the plane.
. . .
While lying in his bed, Donald Trump was visited by an entity identifying itself as the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe.
Poe’s ghost saluted Trump and said, “Hail Prince Prospero.”
“Who the Hell is Prince Prospero?” Trump asked as he struggled to put his toupee on.
“You are,” Poe’s ghost answered.
Outside in the White House Rose Garden, Lady Death strolled about.
. . .
Meanwhile inside the library of an exclusive gentlemen’s club in the City of London, Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (vampiress granddaughter of the late Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh), who had recently defected from Beijing to the Republic of Taiwan, was waiting for the People’s Republic of China Ambassador to the UK to show up.
Ho Babylon Minh had just come from a West London theatre where she had been playing Lady MacBeth carrying the real dagger that had been used to non-medically euthanize a leading London stage actor playing the role of Scotland’s King Duncan in what would be that leading stage actor’s last ever performance (where he would also be unavailable for a final curtain call).
-A vampire novel chapterÂ
written by Christopher
Saturday February 29th
2020.
Mephistopheles Dances As Trump Announces Containment of Coronavirus
Mephistopheles Dances As Trump Announces Containment of Coronavirus
The demon Mephistopheles had had a busy week.
He had accompanied Donald Trump on his visit to India to meet Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
As the Donald was busy bombing at an audition to appear in a Bollywood musical dance number routine, Mephistopheles went to New Delhi, where, as the patron demon in charge of promoting racism and ethnic hatred and violence, he succeeded in arousing extreme Hindu nationalists into killing Muslims in New Delhi in days of rioting (at which the current death toll sat at 38).
Mephistopheles was now in Canada arousing racist attacks against indigenous people due to the fact that indigenous self-proclaimed Warrior Societies (really criminal gangs giving themselves a pleasant sounding name and title) were blockading various roads and railways throughout Canada.
. . .
Meanwhile at the White House in Washington DC, Donald Trump approached his medical mask wearing British butler and valet Lexington and posed the question, “Hey, Lexington, what’s up with all these people in hazmat suits carrying all these dead bodies out of the White House?”.
“Well, it can’t possibly be the Coronavirus, sir,” Lexington commented sardonically, “since just days ago, you assured the American people in a press conference that your Administration has got the Coronavirus totally under control. And as you yourself said, “Maybe one or two deaths at most. Not much more.” So presumably all these folks have keeled over from contracting something else.”
“I think that’s safe to say, Lexington,” Trump nodded, “And speaking of keeping the Coronavirus under control, have you seen my Vice-President Mike Pence?”.
“He’s currently in a military hospital on life support,” Lexington answered.
“What?” Trump’s resulting anger blew his ridiculous looking toupee off his head, “Why wasn’t I informed?”.
“Officials were afraid of getting fired in one of your tweets,” Lexington explained, “if word got out among the American public that the man you had put in charge of containing the Coronavirus namely Vice-President Mike Pence had himself just died from the Coronavirus. They’re currently contacting a Havana based research scientist Dr. Ja Oui Khan into building an identical robot that looks like Vice-President Pence to appear in public and reassure voters. They’re also contacting Set Enterprises’ chief research scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to see if he can bring Mike Pence back from the dead as he was successful at bringing an Israeli Mossad agent back from the dead as well as the Greek god Apollo.”
“How do they determine what constitutes being dead these days anyways?” Trump helped himself to a candy zombie man from a candy jar full of candy zombie men, “Is it being brain dead and showing lack of brain waves? That’s what allows doctors to determine death?”.
“I think there are other determining factors, ” Lexington replied, “for example I understand there’s someone who currently works in the Oval Office who’s been brain dead for years and yet shows other signs of animation.”
“Really? And who might that be?” Trump asked as he bit the head off a candy zombie man.
“If you please, sir,” Lexington stepped over a dead body, “I’d rather not say.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 28th
2020.
The goddesses Demeter and Persephone await the arrival of more souls in the Underworld.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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